Tesco delivery drivers

As the nom pool is overflowing, I’ll keep this brief – Tesco delivery drivers are cunts par excellence.

I’ve just had a real narky cunt arrive, flustered because the dumb cunt can’t find the easy-to-find location, and try to tell me – the fucking resident – that my address is wrong. My address, is wrong. I asked the cunt on what possible fucking dimension he thought he was on, and that started a more heated discussion diffused by the brother-in-law.

I’ve had all kinds of Tesco simpleton cunts turn up here and lose shopping, give me the wrong shopping, substitute tinned tuna for fucking cat food, give me a week’s shop which has stuff all expiring the day after delivery… but to tell me I don’t know my own fucking house number is a glorious example of utter fucking incompetence that will take some beating.

It’s the fucking complaints email avenue for you, you cunt!

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.

121 thoughts on “Tesco delivery drivers

  1. I once tried the home delivery fuckwitt service from Tesco. Once was more than sufficient.

    Crushed bread, wrinkled fruit and veg, near use by dates and moronic substitution choices. Coupled with a cunty driver who couldn’t wait to fuck off so he could knock off for a pint/shag/feed/TV/dump or whatever.

    I now carry out my weekly shop very early on a Saturday morning, before the proletariat pitch up. I can take my little boy around with me and he can then enjoy the experience.

    Tesco delivery? They can poke it up their ‘every little bit helps’ keysters.

    Cunts all.

    • Spot on Paul,

      I hate the fuckers with a vengeance.

      They drive like cunts, block the roads and lanes around here and invariable what’s being delivered is a substitute items or about to expire.

      As for the shops, full of chavs, ne’r do wells and the local Eastern European populous looking for the Polski isle, to say nothing of old cunts on mobility transport driving into every other cunt.

      Luckily spoiled? For choice around here in terms of supermarkets so can boycott Tesco and take my hard earned else where as I see fit, but yep it’s a planned military raid on a Saturday morning, in at 06.30 and home by 07.45 at the latest to avoid the great unwashed and avoid the car getting hit or dented by the ignorant fuckers in the car park.

  2. The wife gets a Tesco delivery every week of outdated, near to end, shop soiled finger poked goodies. delivered to the door by a Camel Shagger who looks remarkably like one of the “most wanted”, on cards issued by the CIA.

    Tesco is a 4 minute drive from where we live, I pass it almost daily when I break out to visit white people. Why in fuck pay some cunt £5 to drop off shite that is mostly binned anyway?

    • Deliverpoo is cuntitude cubed for exactly the same reason.

      As they deliver by bike, hardly likely to do a 46-mile round trip from, say, Bristol to Sodding Chipboardbury in the Cotswolds, so…what DO they do ?

      Yes, they deliver greasy, fake pizzas and burgers from 5 – 10 minutes walk away, to morbidly obese cunts who won’t (or probably can’t) get off their fat arses.
      If you want a take-away once in a while, a little bit of walkies will do you good.
      The NHS ought to be complaining about Deliverpoo for contributing to their problems.
      But I guess a lot of diverse people would get very uppity. Conflict of cuntitude interests.
      And their delivery riders are cunts who, to a mong, seem to think that they can run red lights on every occasion,

  3. I was a temp driver once and once (as in one day, never again) drove for Tesco (new malden) I have never had such a shit job, delivering on time frames where customers have “just popped out” and I think the biggest cunt was the wanker who lived 3 stories above a Tesco express and ordered 4 cases of bottled water. (meanwhile the kids are trying to rob your van) it is without one of the shitest jobs I have ever down, which is why most of the permanent staff look like extras from Deliverance, you need to be a special type of person to do that job.

    • That’s why they have the current CEO. He is nothing but a useless lying fucker.

      Take for example their chicken range from the “Willow Farm”, I was glad to see the products were red tractor assured and happy to support the owner of the British Willow farm.

      Guess what?, Willow Farm doesn’t even exist other than in Dave Lewis’s cunt of a head!

      Well that’s not entirely true as I’m sure the existence of such a place exists in many peoples heads as it did in mine for some time.

      Power of suggestion indeed, however suggestions to Dave that he is nothing but a con man were met with the contempt that Willow Farm does indeed exist as a brand.

      The reality is that its nothing more than a sticky label put on the product at an Asian owned factory renowned for its chicken spending more time getting kicked around the factory floor than it spent on a red tractor.

      Among a list of other appalling hygiene failures of course.

  4. This one sounds like a right incompetent hinge end.
    Wrong address? The fuck you doing at my door then you sorry sack of shite?

    If it ain’t the crock of shite from iceland being delivered to the absolute fuckin odd balls round here, it’s the twats of tesco making drops.
    Miserable fucks, half of em look like they shouldn’t be on the road – never mind driving the three n half tonners or stepping outta one to near enough pull their spinal cord out attempting to lift the cack they’ve been carting around for the last few hours.
    Twats.
    All the tards who work in these ‘friendly’ places are right ignorant cunts. Stack the fucking shelves you useless whiny minge.
    Years ago someone I knew was filling out a leaflet to work at tesco – if I remember correct the encouraging words on it were something along the lines of “come join and be part of our family at tesco” – you fuckin kiddin me? Family of inbreds.
    Bunch of self important, arrogant cunts. Bluetooth headsets on for the more ‘do you even headset’ look.
    Always amazes me how tough security guards are in there til you hear the place has been stormed by a couple of needy chaps welding firearms and security was no where to be seen. Probably on their phone’s looking up beauty products for camels.

    Absolute CUNTS.
    If tesco itself or supermarkets in general haven’t had a good cunting yet, I’m sure it ain’t far off.

    Fuckoff tesco. Your delivery drivers are stains of shit.

    • So is the CEO, clearly the problem runs from the top down like diarrhoea.

      Every little stain helps.

  5. *Wielding firearms*
    And just remembered supermarkets has been done I thought it had but just checked to make sure.
    Rightly so as they’re all pricks.
    They can shove their name tags up their ass too

  6. Had a couple of run ins with Tesco, both over insurance.

    Firstly, took out of insurance for my eldest daughter who was made in the USA for a couple of years. After a year and a half refused suddenly to extend cover without warning. As premiums greatly exceed a tiny claim did not understand, and asked to speak to the underwriter who refused us cover, only to be told underwriters do not talk to the public.

    Second instance after having been insured with Tesco for over 10 years without claim on my motor car insurance received a letter that my insurance had been cancelled. I called up to ask why. They informed me this was because I had not responded to their letter regarding Mrs Stroker, and her driving licence (she was noting an international for a year before getting a full UK licence). Said we had not received ANY notification from them, that Mrs Stroker has a full UK licence and would they please reinstate cover.

    This they could not do as cover had lapsed (was cancelled by them) and the process needed to be repeated as if I were a new customer. Having spent nearly 30 minutes giving them details they already had they informed me they were unable to insure me or my wife for motor insurance as they deemed my new job (as a director of s delivery company) as high risk.

    I did point out that the van had separate motor insurance, and that the car was not used for deliveries. Also that I had been driving since 1981 without incident, 10 years or so with them which they could confirm.

    Reported both instances to the Insurance Ombudsman, who in each case advised that Tesco were at liberty to make whatever decisions regarding cover they wanted to and did not need to give me any reasons about declining cover.

    Wrote to Tesco and told them to leave insurance to the professionals and that I would be boycotting their food stores (which I did for many years despite their pathetic attempts to get me to return).

    On that note, a few months ago I purchased about £15 worth of groceries on veggie products I could not get anywhere else. My 12 year old son found a £10 note on the floor.

    Being brought up to be honest he went to customer services and said that he had found the money. They thanked him, took his name and address and told him that if the money was not claimed in the next week that he could keep it. He called a couple of days later, and the money had been claimed (we suspect by a Tesco employee).

    My wife’s Japanese friend was also shortchanged in a Tesco store (gave a £20 but given change of a £10. Was told she would have to wait until the balances were done at the end of the day, which she did, returned to the store only to be told she must have been mistaken.

    Cunts.

    • Forcuntunately we have NO Tescos here in La Colombie Britannique.The big UK chains have tried but they end up getting run out of town, because they charge too much and don’t offer any service.
      I don’t know how you put up with it but then when I think back to the time I lived there, the model was already set.
      The supermarkets here ain’t that bad but in their place we have the banks to fuck you over.
      No day is complete without the bank helping itself to some of your money by way of a “handling fee”

    • Had a similar problem on taking out car insurance where they wouldn’t verify our no claims discount with our previous insurer (which they can easily do) and instead cancelled the policy on us and left a mark to future insurers we had been terminated and refused cover.

      Basement Betty also having found a fiver blowing around in the car park, she handed it in just in case it was someone really dependent on that five pounds. She never heard back and when she enquired about six months later, was told it was claimed…Yeah, probably by the staff Xmas night out fund.

  7. Jennifer Lawrence (about wearing a skimpy dress at a photo shoot)

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-43140879

    “This is not only utterly ridiculous, I am extremely offended. That Versace dress was fabulous, you think I’m going to cover that gorgeous dress up with a coat and a scarf?”

    She goes on to say: “I was outside for five minutes. I would have stood in the snow for that dress because I love fashion and that was my choice.

    “This is sexist, this is ridiculous, this is not feminism.”

    Jennifer said creating controversy over “silly innocuous things” such as what she chooses to wear is “not moving us forward”.

    “It’s creating silly distractions from real issues. Get a grip people. Everything you see me wear is my choice. And if I want to be cold that’s my choice too.”

    One woman says “It must be about 3 degrees in London ATM, cold enough that the bloke actors have to wear coats and scarves to their press call and yet poor Jennifer Lawrence is wearing a small amount of fabric some might call a dress”.

    The girls who attended the Presidents Club, and the F! Grid girls- that was their choice too.

    What is the fucking difference? Being rich and a hypocritical slapper is ok, but poor and working class not ok?

    Very confused by the whole sexist/feminist situation.

    • What a righteous slaaaaaaaag!

      The tarts at these film awards are just as bad, you only have to google them and select the images to see what they wore at previous awards and nights out that they seem to have forgotten about.

  8. I stopped using em after a particularly odd delivery had a fresh duck substituted for a chicken, some king prawns substituted for low fat prawn cocktail spread and some ready salted substituted for skips… And yes, the driver was a pleasant fella – “Izzy namma turty? You tisco shop a here yes. Yu a namma turty”. Despite me standing next to an open door with the large number 3 and 0 next to each other, he still needed assurance. Makes you wonder how they passed the driving test, it’s been a while since I passed mine but I’m pretty sure I had to be able to read… ahh, the benefits of globalisation eh?

    • Do they not just drive on their forged foreign licenses that our systems can’t check, just as if they are here on holiday or as if they were residents of the Grenfell tower?

      No licence, insurance, tax, not or vehicle registered in their name. You see it all the time on these motorway cop TV shows, the car never belongs to them.

      When they buy it, they don’t register it so they can carry on after accidents etc and they don’t want to give a government department details of where they are for easy deportation once their time is up.

  9. I’m truly amazed that cunts will put stuff in their mouths that they haven’t personally inspected before buying. Sorry, TECB, but it’s ‘caveat emptor’ on that one.

    And yes, that goes for non-food items too.

    • Would not dream of including any fresh food, fruit or vegetables, or anything likely to have a short use-by date! Handy for bulky heavy items like 15 bags of cat litter etc, cos we don’t have a car.

      Only used Tesco once years ago, currently use Sainsbury’s.

  10. Hey, thanks for the heads up everyone.
    I was thinking of using one of these services so as not to have to fight my way round a store full of ignorant benefit scroungers eight screaming kids and stinking Easterns.
    For the sake of my health and hard earned I’ll stick with the melee.

  11. Gents: emergency cunting for Damon Albarn from Blur. Making a pissed up cunt of himself at the Brit Awards in an acceptance speech whinging on…yet again…about Brexit. When the suffering fuck will these entertainment snowflake Bolly Bolsheviks stop bleating on about it??!!

      • The king of all shitcunt virtue signalling, the Oscars is still to come. Brexit, The Donald, gun control, #Metoo fuckwittery? The bollock brained lefties are spoilt for choice apart from actually mouthing off about something that 99% of people really want to talk about.

        • The density of absolute cuntitude that will be exhibited on oscars night renders all other pretenders like the baftas irrelevant!! This is the BIG SHOW…

        • Didn’t see it and couldn’t really give a cunt or care about the Brits. Was hoping of a Bataclan style assault on the venue whilst all the virtue signalling cunts were still inside.

          As for that Stormy, I wonder if the thick cunt ever put two and two together and perhaps thought for a second that all that black rap shit he bangs on about, guns, knives, bitches, shootas, gangs, etc is actually having a profound effect on all the dindun bruvvers listening to it…?

          Oh yeah, Damon Allbran is a cunt as well.

        • Would’ve been un-PC to allow whitey to win, wouldn’t it? Luckily for them the whitey in question was Ed Sheercunt, so they were able to hide their racist virtue signalling behind the fact he’s crap by any objective standard.

          But then, so is that bag of dog shit Stormzy, predictably mouthing off about Treeza and Grenfell. Uppity fucking cunt.

      • Always brought up to point the finger at the establishment accusing them of failings.

        They don’t want to discuss all the crimes that have been commited by the Grenfellians and have came to light as a result of the incident including fraudulent claims surrounding the incident for financial gain.

        Imagine if you lied to your insurer in the event of a fire that your family members (at home in Eritrea) had been consumed by the fire?

        They seem to think, frauding our government is acceptable, where it would get them a death sentence in their homeland.

        They come here to commit crime with no respect for our country or fear of the soft punishments given if and when caught.

    • That Prat Damon is an arsehole of the first magnitude, and he fronts a shit wailing band of tuneless fuckwits who wouldn’t know their fucking arseholes from their elbows. To use yet another cock sucking come up my arsehole group hugging retarded self promoting festival of shit, is a waste of fucking oxygen! Anti Brexit. Keep your views to yourself you felt wanking hominid.

      • Allbran is a cossetted, middle class, London fucking leftie. The archetypal Corbynista, Remoaner.
        Blur were shit anyway.

        • I live abaaaaaht 100 yards from Damon the cunt. I swear he’s one of the cunts whose had their basements dug out to house the library, wine cellar, gym and swimming pool. Yah ya. The cunts.

      • I tuned in by mistake. Too depressed to bother seeing if there’s anything better on…

        • Curling is such a genuine scottish sport you roll a big shiny rock on ice and howl & yell at it… fucking beautiful

          • Oh I donno, Football is another Scottish sport which seems to have done well for itself.

    • I must watch to see why performance enhancing drugs are needed. Who’d a thought it?

        • An opening for a new winter sport for the Olympics…

          Scraping frozen dog turd off icy path.

          Team Captain Mrs. T. May.

          • It would be a damn sight more interesting to watch than what those Cunts are doing in Pyeongchang!!

        • With less than five minutes played in my first ever game of curling, my opponent turned to me and said..
          “Why don’t we make this interesting”…

          So we stopped playing fucking curling….

          • Is Pyeongchang by any chance near Pye Corner ?

            Just wondering…

            Until AD just before Winter Scrub-Out, it used to be Pyongyang ??

  12. Damon is a scruffy cunt. Deserves cunting purely for the raping of our english consenants. Along with lily mong.
    Stormy sounds like a rapper – total, complete and utter cunt.
    Awards, politicians, supermarkets – all cunts.
    I just opened the front door for a look.
    Yep, sure enough, cunts out there too.

    • That Stormzy piece of shit was banging on about money for the Grenfell people, calling the hunchback May a criminal. This while mincing around the stage like a real bad boy, with a load of cunts with rapey looking ski masks on, probably on their way to go iPhone shopping, two up on a fucking scooter. Perhaps he would be better served by trying to appeal to the scum cunts who listen to his dreadful excuses for songs, and asking them ever so politely to stop stabbing each other, stop squirting acid into innocent people’s faces, stop robbing and selling drugs, and try to become better people. Fat chance, he’s making too much money selling them the soundtrack to their pathetic worthless lives.

  13. I avoid supermarkets when I can, I’m actually one of the ones who buys meat from an actual butchers and fish from an actual fishmongers, these small businesses have been around for 50 years, there’s a reason for that – they’re good.

    I get bread from a bakery as well. I may be paying more but I’m not having to fuck about dodging old cunts and brats in the supermarket.

  14. A Yodel delivery driver asked me if I knew the correct time.
    I said it’s somewhere between 8am. and 5.30pm…

  15. Well it would appear that we in the cushy west really do have too much time on our hands.
    A man in newport had to have firefighters remove a steel ring spanner from his tackle.
    I’d have fucking left the twat there. What a cunt.

    • Important to get the size correct before you attempt this particular perversion. And make sure it isn’t a ratchet spanner.

      • My wife is a Doctor. Once she told me of an old boy (farmer) visiting A&E because he managed to get a large tractor nut wedged over his Bob Mellish.

        Apparently the threads of the rusty nut had started to cut a counterpart thread into the shaft of his old man. They managed to finally free him from his distress, but not before the medics had pissed themselves with laughter.

  16. I am not sure if you know but some knob decided to throw a grenade at the US Embassy in monte negro at 23.30 local yesterday and then blew himself up.
    it was on the uk news, but this one wasnt.

    https://www.vecernji.hr/vijesti/islamska-drzava-sarajevo-emin-hodzic-1211079

    a former islamic state fighter was caught close to the US Embassy in sarejevo he had 2x ak47 3x hand grenades and a zola anti tank rocket in his car.
    its all going so well in the old stomping ground

    and this little shipment was confiscated on its way to sweden, (why they want land mines is a new concept)
    https://www.vecernji.hr/vijesti/bih-granica-oruzje-1212166
    .

    • Sweden is finished. The ‘humanitarian superpower’ has focused so much on feminism and turning their once beautiful country into a multiculti Narnia, none of them seem to get that they have imported legions of the snackbars that will undoubtedly have them under servitude within ten years. You could argue that this has already happened – 2nd rape capital in the world, gang violence out of control, grenade attacks on police stations…GRENADE. ATTACKS. ON POLICE. STATIONS, FFS!!! In a western European city??!!

      Of course this is all still kept out of the MSM and Trumpty Dumpty – a fellow I have no time for – was roundly ridiculed by said same MSM for suggesting Sweden had any problems. The same way he was when he suggested that London had a problem with it’s peacefuls.

      • It’s all too late. They’ve told us they want make Europe an Islamic state and we’re letting them.
        When I mention shit like this people look at me like I’m mental.
        I was born in Stonebrige Park in London, a stones throw from Wembley.
        When I was a kid Wembley didn’t look like this….
        Check this out…
        https://youtu.be/eziF1aujpLQ

  17. I wouldn’t want to include lorry drivers in this cunting. I’ve the utmost respect for the role they have in the supply chain, and the skill that’s needed to drive those fuckers. I drive a Fiesta and the size of that is a challenge.

    • Lorry driving cunts need a massive cunting, the cunts should all drive between the hours of 8pm and 8am clogging up the damn motorways by taking an hour to overtake some other cunt driving a lorry. It’s no wonder everyone hogs the middle lane because they ain’t got any clear road in the slow lane. The cunts.

  18. If I may add a sub cunting for the useless cunts in the supermarket’s as well who aren’t interested in helping you with a question you may have. That’s if they even speak English that they is.

  19. These delivery scams run by stores are just a method for them to dump old near out of date shite on people who are too lazy to get off their already enormous asses to actually go shopping.

    It also gives the Polish driver a good chance to scope out your joint and tell his mates to go rob you next day while you’re at work.

    No thanks

  20. Delivery drivers, yet another example of killing human interaction. What abaaaaaht the days when we didn’t have these deliveries available? We managed didn’t we? There will be a time in the very near future where you could not leave your house for 5 years and get everything you need etc without leaving the house. If your unfortunate enough to be in a situation where your mostly at home due to an illness or something then obviously this is beneficial to you. What I hate is
    technology for technologies sake, why the fuck so we need a smart energy meter, App controllable home heating. Ordering takeaway online is a joke that really pisses me off. What’s wrong with phoning up the place and saying ‘I want’? Also what if you want an extra bit of chilli? Does the bullshit website give you that option? By the time you’ve remembered your password and put your bank details in you could have already rang the cunts and ordered the food, if I worked somewhere and some cunt ordered online I’d put a raw prawn in there. The Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunts.

    • When I was a lad in the early 60s I had a Saturday job as assistant to a delivery driver who delivered grocery orders for a local grocers. Melias I think it was called. So there is nothing new about these deliveries. Just the scale is different.
      Oh, and we weren’t cunts.

    • I wonder if we enter another war that puts the country in a similar position to what it was in the forties & fifties…

      Will Tesco deliver our rations of butter, milk, flour, eggs and sugar if we are lucky?

    • You have a point. I didn’t think we would have a discussion on groceries following a dead godbotherer and yankee doodle carnage but that’s the fun of ISAC. We have jaundiced views on everything. What a bunch of cunts.

      • And this my fellow cunters is why…dispute a difference of opinion on a major issue…I read, like and indeed respect Cunstable. He sometimes (😛) hits the nail right on the head.

        🔨 👏

  21. A quick Cunting for Urine therapy.

    In alternative medicine, urine therapy or urotherapy, is the application of human urine for medicinal or cosmetic purposes, including drinking of one’s own urine and massaging one’s skin, or gums, with one’s own urine.

    I chanced upon this when reading about some Cunt who was complaining about inflammed eyes after putting his 5 day old piss in them….Extraordinary,who’d have guessed?

    • Quite. Piss leaving your front bottom is sterile, but needs to be consumed whilst fresh – any resultant videos can be uploaded onto PornHub.

      • Sterile or not,I wouldn’t consume it,never mind wash my eyes in it…after some of my Scrumpy/ Special Brew binges I’d be terrified to let the muck anywhere near my eyes. I know there’s a particular shrub that I used to regularly piss on on my way in from the pub…killed it stone dead eventually.

        • No friends or family members who would benefit from a little Fiddler’s Organic? I bet Tesco’s would be interested.

          • I bet they fucking wouldn’t..Tesco might be Cunts,but I can’t see even them being interested in anything that had passed through my system…I suppose I could always fill a couple of bottles and take it into my local branch,find out for sure.

          • It could be bottled up and sent over to Mtembe’s family to allow him more time to study and work to pay for his future cruise from Libya to Italy.

    • Don’t worry Mr Fiddler sir, when the peacefulls come, which they will, then we will all have to get used to camel urine as a cure for all known ills, apart from gayness – it’s written in their book of lies so must work.

      Penicillin, nah…. Camel Piss.

      • There was talk a few years ago about bringing camels here and breeding them for milk.

        Its just dawned on me this is just to get some unpaid sex workers over for the home sick peacefuls.

  22. Trans Kids: The Right Response? is on the telly at the minute…..I can answer that question. Give the attention-seeking deviants a fucking good birching. I bet a regular dose of that that would cure them of their problems,and save the NHS a fortune.

    • Right on mr fiddler! You just fucking know that anyone who identifies as a “transkid” has simply not been listening enough at school. Funnily enough I thought the same about the idiot caught wanking with a steel spanner today.
      I think a fucking savage motherfucking birching all round would help most uk residents. Delivered without warning too. Anyone who feels like a modernized approach can settle for a car ariel.

      • Fucking makes my piss boil these mentally retarded fuckers do.
        You are not trans, not a fluid-gender, not non binary, you’re either born a man or a woman and you die the same, a man or a woman,
        no amount of drugs, hacking off your organs or airtime on the BBC is going to change that.

        Years ago if you claimed to be something you ARE not you’d be locked up in the loony bin, there was a famous man in our town, called Sinbad, he thought he was God, he got sectioned, but if he had said he was a woman trapped in a man’s body he would have been on the BBC more than Claire Balding or Ore Oduba.

  23. Well I’m totally sick of hearing the benefit scrounging cunts from grandfall towers bleet on cuz some goat fucker replaced the fuse for his freezer with a fucking nail,it would have burned any building to the ground…..so why the fuck is this still news,no one cares and Stormzy,Lilly the unmusical mong and sadelle keep bringing this yawn story back…….fires happen all the time and the imigrant housing tower was better than a park bench until until it went woof…..that’s all the fat lady sang get over it you cunts it’s history…..

  24. Ah, Stomzy…. The queer bashing pig ignorant gangsta bad lad homeboy cunt turned snowflake and do gooder? Don’t make me fucking laugh/sick….

  25. That new Doctor Who looks a pile of wank… The logo and titles look like a tacky 70s chocolate box and it’s obvious that wimmin designed that shite…

    Talking of wank though: Jodie is still very milfmungous… Well saucy…

  26. It seems we have our first sore loser of the Olympics. A member of the Canadian women’s ice hockey team took off her silver medal as soon as she was awarded it and refused to put it back on. All because her team lost to the USA. Someone should tell her that’s how a competitive sport works, someone wins someone loses. She lost. What a cunt.

    • She got it right losing the final means she and her team are LOSERS the Gold went to the Winners. Wish our media would stop saying they won a silver, or bronze. As a sportsman the whole object is to win. I used to race sidecar motocross and was a mid pack standard but tried as hard as I could to beat people but lack of skill, fitness and too much beer and curry the night before hampered my chances.
      England Rugby Union team has been transformed by bringing in an Aussie whos whole aim is to be No1 team and win every game. Shame we don’t have the” be the best ” attitude anymore. Just look at those shit Army ads. Mind you the Royal Marines one looks better tough cunts hiding in the woods ready to off a bad guy.

  27. My missus gets our shopping delivered every week fuck knows what she buys cos i am still in the fucking supermarket every afternoon strolling home laden with fucking shopping bags. cunt

  28. Lily fuckin allen. Fuckin odd ball. Actually looks like she’s got mental issues. That’s not even a dig at the warped bitch. Just a fact.
    Didn’t take long for it to go to that fat fuck adele’s head did it. Fat bastard cunt. Is it just me or does it just sound like these fuckers are begging ‘im good, if you see me please don’t acid attack me’ – I can’t with any fibre of me believe that these self important twat pricks have these same beliefs when they’re off camera and tucked away from the filth that are being placed on our doorsteps.
    Standing up for women and standing up for people who rape women, are permitted to rape women, back hand women for the wrong sammitch is a fucking contradiction.
    Jesus the ways of the world are going so primitive.

  29. What a truly ridiculous world we live in.

    The stock market value of Snap, owner of the Snapchat messaging app, fell $1.5bn after reality TV star Kylie Jenner said she no longer used it.

    For fuck sake.

    • Classic pump & dump scheme, it was overvalued by about $1.4 billion anyway.
      I bet most of the major share holders sold just a few days or weeks before this ‘shock’ tweet

    • Sorry to say Stelio that I have absolutely no idea who either of them are. Not interested in US celebs in the slightest.

      Perhaps a sign of getting old, or perhaps better things to focus my time on.

      • No apology required this cunt understands where you’re coming from.
        Just know that one of them jenner sluts has nuts

    • Fair play for even watching it Gingers, I’d be having to purchase a new goggle box every Friday as a result of my right boot reconfiguring the screen on Thursday evening after the bunch of cunts boiled my piss for the umpteenth time.

      • No, I haven’t posted a dead pool Shitcake. Just watching Two Jags getting excited, he must be putting some pressure on his ticker.

    • I didn’t see QT last night, is it worth hunting down on the internet or was it shit?

      I got side tracked with PM’s questions, was an MP put maybot on spot about her MP’s and staff being rented out to speak at dinners etc.

      Bercow shot him down, in fact he was a bit county to many and not the few. Assuming he didn’t get any action with big Sal on Wednesday night.

  30. The tuna for cat food substitute made me chuckle.

    Several years ago a great Aunt used to get these deliveries as – even though she was all there, a “rum bugger” she was known as – she wasn’t able to get about and her sight was failing.

    So delivery turns up (not Tesco BTW), drops the gear off, and off they went.

    My Aunt called in to see her Mam (a daily thing after work): “What have you had for tea Mam?”

    “Tuna sandwich. ‘Eee it was lovely!”

    No you can see what’s coming…

    The full tin hadn’t been used, the remainder in a cling filmed bowl in the fridge.

    “I’ll have the rest tomorrow.”

    My Aunt not discerning any make of tuna resembling what was in the bowl looked in the bin and noticed a pride of place foiled lid of “Gourmet Tuna Cat Food”.

    Now then, what to do: let them know, or let it ride.

    My Aunt stayed there a couple of hours (to make sure Great Aunt didn’t get the shits) everything seemed fine so she says: “Mam I’m starving and I cannot be bothered to cook when I get in, would mind if I took that tuna with me and I’ll fetch you a tun tomorrow.”

    Yes. The following week…

    “I had tuna today but hey mind, it wasn’t as nice as that one last week. I wish I knew what it was called. That one there is canny but it’s dry.”

    We all knew, she didn’t, but every week she would pine for that “…lovely tuna I had that time…”

    😁

  31. John Prescott what a cunt!

    He was as good at being Deputy PM as Diane Abbott is at being Shadow (or is that Eclipse) Home Secretary.

    He sounds pissed! Doss cunt!

    • If you skinned them both alive, I know which one would enable you to make the most pairs of shoes and it wouldn’t be “Two Pairs”.

  32. Prescott needs to stay in the House of Stiffs and collect his pension like the thick has been that he is.
    The cunt is an embarrassment. Shut the fuck up fatbollocks.

    • The solution would be to shoot all ex-ministers who have lost their Commons seat. And their numerous ex-advisers.

  33. Elise Christie celebrates with her boyfriend Sandor Liu Shaolin after he wins the 5,000m short track relay gold in Pyeongchang…. Even after such massive and abject failure, this daft bitch is still in our faces… Will we ever be rid of this squawking ‘me me me’ stupid woman of a cunt?….

    • Even better, she’s considering the dual disciplines of short and long track speed skating, depending on – surprise surprise – if she can get the funding.

      “Well we don’t have a long track facility in the UK so it will all depend on the funding.”

      I.e. can you pay for a 4yr jolly for me to piss about for four years and I will reward you with falling on my arse 8 times instead of 4!

      Money well spent eh!

      • If she wants tips on funding and how to keep it flowing, she should contact the King & Queen of fundraising…

        Aka, the McCann’s.

  34. Elise Christie has been bleating on the bbc that her 3 failures at these Winter Olympics won’t define her?? Actually she’s right because at Sochi 4 years ago she made an even bigger cunt of herself ( if that’s possible) and got disqualified from all 3 events she entered!
    If this useless attention seeking Cunts received any lottery funding they should instantly ask for it back!
    I just wish she would fuckin do one…..
    possibly contender for female Cunt of the games……

    • Agreed, useless cunt, like most Olympians (unless they dope like Team GB cyclists).
      Never mind though, her epic failure only cost about £1 million over 8 years of funding.

  35. We had a similar problem with a right cocky Tesco delivery driver, he thought he was Alfie, all cockney barrow boy and the like.
    Our eggs had 2 broken from a pack of 12, now I am no Rachel Riley, but that’s a 16% breakage hit, give or take.
    When asked about this he s reply was “you’ll have to email the store, I just deliver”.
    So I did email the store to complain and I also threw in that he had spat as he walked away up the garden path narrowly avoid Fluffy (our 14 yr old)

  36. * (our 14 yr old CAT)

    But I suppose with all this trans and LGBT, no binary-gender-fluid crap you could quite easily find a 14 yr old boy named Fluffy

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