TV football pundits

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TV FOOTBALL PUNDITS – SHOWER OF CUNTS

Here we have selected thick football cunts post-career trying to cling on to something by talking about football.

“Well, it was a game of two halves, he made a string of passes down the flank, passed to the guy in front of the net, shoots, and it was saved by the keeper…”

WHO CARES, what a collective of boring, offensively rich jelly headed cunts this lot are, what else are they going to fucking say that hasn’t been said 500 fucking billion times before? And then when the cunts start fucking around with that cuntish on-screen graphics thing with the arrows and that – LEAVE IT ALONE YOU CUNTS, we don’t want to watch the fucking match again frame by frame – we’ve already been here for TWO FUCKING HOURS watching these cunts kick a football around, and now you wife-cheating, Rolex wearing, side-parting multi millionaire cunts are going on and on about the possibilities that may have been if he hadn’t hit the cunting post or how many passes did one side make in the first half, who had the most possession (I KNOW WHO HAD THE MOST POSSESSION YOU CUNTS I WATCHED THE FUCKING GAME) – in fact there’s nothing they can tell us that we don’t already know, apart from how many hundred £10K blackjack chips they lost at The Grosvenor last night, when they were out with a load of brass whilst their 21 year-old blonde cunt of a wife is at home on the Bolly with a load of her cuntish, air-headed, Ferrari driving, aunt-sally, harridan mates.

Take Paul Scholes – here we have a classic cunty-transmogrification from someone who was basically well regarded as one of the best footballers in the world, then suddenly, he starts fucking popping up on football TV – talking a load of monotone Oldham drivel, “Er… I think maybe they would have won if the scoreline had been different..” SHUT UP YOU BORING GINGER CUNT! DON’T FUCKING SPEAK! DON’T SPEAK! And don’t get me started on Lineker, Hansen, that other cunt who would still have a ‘tache if his kids didn’t threaten to leave and Mr Potato Alan Cunting Shearer “Nurr, I durrnt regret not going to Man U at all, like..” MY ARSE – The BBC pay him £700,000 plus expenses a year to sit there in a room full of cunts, grinning like a cunt and repeating the same old football shite over and over again “I durrn’t think they’re gonna win the league after that display” SHUT UP YOU CUNT WHO FUCKING CARES?

Nominated by Bob Two Shits.

36 thoughts on “TV football pundits”

  1. Nice one Two Shits – what a brilliant cunting!

    Fucked if I can think of anything to add.

  2. I’ve just nominated/cunted Phil Nev for his crap punditry and his spineless crawling and ‘apologies’ for telling a ‘sexist’ joke about half a fucking decade ago, the pathetic cunt… Apart from Graeme Souness and Gary Nev all TV pundits are cunts and total shite… Gorilla Keown, Jamie Deadkrapp, Thierry Handball, Chalky Sinclair, Lex Luthor Shearer, ‘I’m Free’ Lawrenson, Bogtrotter Kilbane, that Jermaine Thingy cunt etc… Too many to mention, but all cunts,,,

    • Great stuff Norman but the uber cunt for me is the best paid of them all St Gareth of Lineker.
      A man paid £1.75m a year to chat shit to another cunt chatting shit – Shearer is a cunt and chats shit. He won a PL title with the team that Jack built and fuck all else – then took the easy route saying he was “going home” – the cunt had been in Southampton but like the dickheads they are the Geordie cunts fell for his bluff and bluster. He might be a legend in Newcastle but just a cunt who didn’t fulfil his potential for me. The head cunt lineker cant even do 2 shows on a trot – some other cunt does MOTD 2. Hard life innit? Apart from being a cuntish commentator the clever jug eared cunt attends these gimmegrant rapefugee meetings. Smug little no mark cunt – and he still wont answer my tweets about how much tax he pays. CUNT

  3. Match of the fucking day now on two days FFS.
    These pundit cunts were born stupid! At least the old guard of footballers could blame heading a leather mud and water sodden ball for their reduced intellect now even the likes of Shearer and co are trying to say the same. No NO No it has nothing to do with heavy balls you are just fucking stupid end of.

  4. Well, if you’re too tight – or rational – to buy the merchandise, learn the chants, and follow this or that bunch of prima donna nomarks to every game (Note: IT’S ONLY A GAME) then I suppose you deserve to be punished by media morons shouting at you from the flatscreen. Who are cunts, but aren’t you?

  5. A tawdry immoral pointless game played by professional greedy cunts who have no connection to the towns they represent. No sane economics involved and the fans are fucked over for fun. The governing bodies are corrupt, the clubs are corrupt, the agents are corrupt, the club owners are corrupt tax dodgers.
    How dare these shite pundits sully the beautiful game.

    • Absolutely correct CC…..
      Badge kissing prostitutes who show little or no loyalty to their clubs or fans!!
      A game where diving or play acting is called SIMULATION!! When it should blatantly be called fuckin cheating!! Where it’s okay to fucking mouth off to the officials and challenge every decision by charging at the ref…..
      And if I hear “ it’s a penalty there was definitely contact in the box” again I’m gonna drive up to sky tv and punch the fuckin cunt who said it!!
      The clubs treat their fans like absolute mugs!! 3-4 new shirts a year, extortionate ticket prices!! And on top of everything else you’ve got the pundit Cunts!!!!

      Excellent cunting BTS

  6. I have 4 things to say about football and all football related things in general, and especially about cunting football and all things football related :

    1. Boring
    2. Very boring
    3. Extremely fucking boring
    4. Not interest. Couldn’t give a flying fuck.

    Football cuntings should be banned. Waste of good cyber space.

    Just my personal opinion. If you disagree, I don’t fucking care…

    • Agree.

      Cricket commentators the same nowadays too. I had the displeasure of listening to TMS whilst England were getting their arses handed to em on a plate by the Aussies…. Graeme Swann. Jesus H does he ever go on and on about shite. I appreciate there are tedious amounts of boredom and nothingness in Test Match Cricket punctuated by occasion good action that doesn’t necessarily work on the radio format, but this moron just talks his arse off muttering about shite, sometimes to the point of not informing the listeners what’s actually happening.

      Another good reason to scrap the tele tax so we can stop paying all these cunts wages.

      • How jolly un-Christian of you Dio.

        Btw, what’s your poison (if any) when it comes to Mumbo-Jumbo-istic guff, if you don’t mind me asking?

        As an unreconstructed Doctor of Psychotic Enlightenment, I can confidently assert that I too could not give a flying fuck about anything remotely related to football.

      • Test Match Special used to be grand about 45 years ago.

        Remember clearly taking the radio and earphones under the bedspread with snow outside, listening to the cricket played in sunny Ozzie weather.

        Happy memories

    • Agree totally, but if it’s another chance to abuse that O2-thieving gobshite Lineker, the cunting is convenient.

      • Football and cricket are both a mystery to me, as is any sport involving imbeciles running around after a ball, or just running needlessly at all, for that matter.
        If you watch and enjoy sport of any kind, then obviously you understand how it works, so apart from the sound of wood on leather or boot on er um… whatever footy balls are made of, surely no sound or commentary of any kind is really required because you actually can see what’s going on courtesey of your TV set..
        These overpaid waffling cunts, be they commentators, pundits or pointless celeb/retired celeb/retired players or whatever are pointless throwbacks to the era of the family all clustered around the valve radio and listening to the game being described by a bloke in a dinner jacket standing in front of a big cast-iron microphone.
        Just another “jobs for the boys/girls/unspecified” “big pay packet for doing fuck all” racket.
        And boring. Utterly fucking BORING!!

      • To each their own, but we have sports channels so why do we have to pollute the general channels with it?

        This week we have two three hour matches on. The fucking match lasts 90 minutes. The rest is cockwaffle.

        Football is a schedule filler. Nothing more.

        The amount of air time and so called sports news is totally out of proportion. AND the number of footie noms on this site ditto…

  7. Must admit to quite liking Ian Wright, and do not mind Shearer too much. Apart from that not bothered who is on or what they talk about. Remember being staggered to hear how much the BBC paid Alan “what the fuck has he done to his eyebrows” Hansen.

    Frankly bored with the continual disagreements between pundits regarding players going down far too easily in the penalty areas and the referees decisions. Most players these days are cheating bastards and will often leave a trailing leg or fall over without any contact to win a penalty.

    Frankly bored with the pundits constantly saying that to be a great team the manager needs to make three new signings. Always seems to be three new players that are required.

    Bored with players renewing their contract for a further 5 years but a month later when they are approached by another club decide they do not want to honour their word and refuse to play again. Cunts.

    Fed up with the stupid amounts of money players are paid and that the top teams are not penalised for spending excessive amounts of money. Think the fair play restrictions and penalties are now no longer enforced but I could be wrong on that count.

    Fed up with several of the top managers whinging and who behave like spoilt children when decisions go against them. And the amount of time spent regarding the managers mind game comments. I do enjoy Mourinho’s and Wenger’s post match interviews after the game after they have lost. Pathetic overpaid arseholes. Used to enjoy Mourinho with his “specialist in failure” type digs at Wenger but now just bored with it.

    Probably you will not be surprised to learn that I care very little about the beautiful game these days, the influx of so much money has totally ruined it for me and I want nothing to do with it.

    • Forgot to mention the relatively new terminology being used in football punditry, and the boring fucking statistics they refer to regarding “assists”, which for those of you still awake are scored thus:

      1. An assist was awarded to the player who had given the last pass to the goal scorer.
      2. In addition, also the last but two holder of the ball could get an assist provided that his action had decisive importance for the goal .
      3. After goals from rebounds those players were awarded an assist who had shot on target.
      4. After goals scored on penalty or by a directly converted free-kick the fouled player received a point.
      5. In case that the goal scorer had laid on the goal for himself (dribble, solo run), no assists were awarded.
      6. No assists were awarded, either, if the goal scorer took advantage of a missed pass by an opponent.

      Give me strength FFS.

  9. A well overdue good cunting. I thought it was just me that thought these cretins were just a bunch of thick cunts. Mind you i detest football and a high percentage of the cunts it attracts, Its a sort of later day tribalism .

  10. When I first went to see Arsenal I think it was £1. Now I know there is inflation but I now have to pay fucking £100!! They are the most expensive club to watch in the whole fucking world. Why? Why are the cunts ripping us off? I will not go this season.

    The wages are just immoral. You used to meet most of the players in the pub but now the prima donnas are wrapped in cotton wool. Players paid five fucking million to sit on the bench!! Wtf?

    I still watch Arsenal games on TV or streams but I barely really care. Never watch MOTD or any discussions or any other games. The only pundit that talks sense is Graeme Le Saux, his IQ is somewhere in the stratosphere.

    • Le Saux was always called a poof by his thick as pigshit colleagues because he could read I think.

      • Le Saux protested “But I’m married!” to the rumours, “So was Elton John” said Robbie Fowler. Being a Guardian reader and a ‘foreigner’ from Jersey did him no favours.

    • Remember going to see a Spurs 11 play at Buckhurst Hill in a friendly around the late 60’s or very early 70’s.

      Pat Jennings, Steve Perryman, Alan Gilzean, Martin Chivers, Phil Beale all played.

      Nice, genuine guys who were happy to give autographs at the end of the game.

      Far removed from many of those playing the game today.

    • Yes CNR,
      I remember walking up Warwick Road with Paddy Crerand and his Adidas bag in hand – on his way to play the fucking game and George Best sat outside OT with rain dripping off his nose still signing the last of the autographs for the kids waiting. I have a snap of him sat with him on the bonnet of his E-type in the car park. You could wait outside the players entrance and have a chat with them and up at the Cliff on occasions you could even get a kick around with them. Now you need a pair of binoculars to see them at Carrington and the cunts wont even stop to wave.
      The crown cunt for me was that ginger haired blue shit Dutch cunt De Bruyne – a group of lads waiting for him to arrive at Manchester airport after the magoos had been beaten in Barcelona. The cunt had played 90 minutes, arrived home on a private jet which took 115 minutes and said he was too tired to sign a couple of autographs – miserable Bertie Magoo blue shit bitter mercenary cunt!!!

      • Selfish fucker.

        I hope the boys he let down now hate him forever more, and that he gets his come uppance somehow.

        Really no excusing his actions.

        Cunt.

      • My dad always said Bestie was a top bloke.. He occasionally drank with him, Paddy, John Fitzpatrick, and Kiddo in the late 60s/early 70s… My old man, however, did say that Willie Morgan was a massive cunt who thought he was God’s gift…

      • Modern(ish) players who were great at doing autographs for kids:

        Solksjaer
        Cantona
        Sharpe
        Giggs
        McClair
        Big Norm
        Robbo
        Beckham (before he married Skellington Spice)
        Incey

        Players who were cunts who wouldn’t do autographs for kids:

        Keane
        Schmichel
        Cole
        Sparky Hughes
        Rio

  11. However stupid and crassly woeful their grammar (“he’s gave the ball away”, “the referee hasn’t saw the incident”), I don’t mind if they stick to football itself. I’d rather hear dimwitted comments than the forever political posturing of virtue-seeking peacocks like Gary “Premier League Cunt” Lineker.

  13. Slighty of topic but still sports tv related due to not having a tv licence I know access sport via Kodi, normally from the Eastern European cess pit.
    Saying that though it’s like a background drone when Igor waffles on. Bit like the old drunk yelling two rows from you.
    Don’t be surprised to hear that pundits and commentators are roundly mocked in Spain and The US.
    That mock Sid Waddell on bein sports is quite bizarre

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