Lloyds Bank (3)

I would like to nominate Lloyds (The Cancer) Bank for a cunting.

I hold no religion but I do remember the odd story thrust upon me by our R.E. teacher. One story that struck a chord with me (in that I understood it’s meaning immediately as a kid) was that of the Poor Widow’s Offering.

This is the tale where after prayers in the synagogue the rich made a big show of their offering and how generous they were, while a poor beggar woman quietly (almost embarrassed by her poverty) places two small copper coins in the collection box and quietly walks away.

Jesus identifies that the woman’s offering was a far greater gift because while the rich’s offerings were greater in value, hers was greater on spirit because that amount meant nothing to them but her amount meant everything to her because it was all that she had.

The moral of the story being, whatever your gift, no matter how big or small, don’t make a song and dance about it because it doesn’t cut any mustard in heaven and it makes you a cunt on earth!

So why Lloyds Bank? Well at the same time we’re being virtue signalled to death with “right-on” and “inclusive” store/department ads, Lloyds have started an ad campaign extolling their MacMillan cancer training and being the bank that “understands” when you’ve been given the great news that you have the Big ‘C’ and there’s fuck all anyone can do.

I think it’s great that Lloyds have taken on training on how to deal and communicate with sufferers and their families in that most difficult of times but the reason why they are cunts is the flagrant promotion/advertising of how “caring” they are in order to win a few fucked-in-the-head notion of brownie points!?!

Do they think people sit there and think: “Ooh, I might get cancer. Better join Lloyds Bank just in case!?!”

All they needed was Sinatra singing the opening lines of My Way (“And now, the end is near…”) in their ad to put a cunt cherry on the top!

I would imagine that most of the good folk of IsAC have been touched in some shape or form by the Big ‘C’, whether personally, a family member, or friend, and to cash in on that anxiety as the “bank that cares about your cancer” is not only distasteful it’s an absolute disgrace!

“Regrets, I have a few…” – yes that Lloyds wasn’t allowed to fold by HM Govt when they had the chance!

Fucking cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a cunt!

4 thoughts on “Lloyds Bank (3)

  1. I’ve had an account with Lloyds since 1971, at which time I was interviewed by the deputy manager, presumably to assess my suitability to be trusted with a cheque book. 47 years later I have to report that throughout those years I have never once had cause to complain. I know I’m not “normal”, but this possibly singles me out as unique…

  2. I too have been a customer for years. I have to get cheaper services elsewhere before they get competative. They also closed the local branch. Their team leader resolutely refused my statement that self service improvements were going after their jobs. They also have no sense of humor when you say “blah blah” over the reading out of the mandatory terms and conditions. They have recently imposed higher daily overdraft fees. And now they prowl like flies around shit on the fear of family loss.
    And we bailed them out.
    Personally, I think they are cunts. But they are all cunts so there’s no hope to be had entertaining the possibility if swapping banks.
    Lizards in human skin. CCCCUUUUUUNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSS……………!

  3. Allowed to fold? You mean you regret is that government prevented (and has a history of preventing) capitalism from working as intended?

  4. Never banked with the cunts, however the bank I have been with since around the mid seventies (Clydesdale / Midland / Yorkshire) is a cunt too.

    Their rates for services are miles from being competitive and their service is shit.

    They reduce the number of people on counters to two at peak times so queue is out the door, at which times they also slow proceedings by trying to peddle you the worst car insurance quote or mortgage deals. When its your turn, they smarmily apologise for keeping you waiting…No, your not one bit sorry you cunts!

    Their customer parking is always full even when not a cunt is in the place, meaning you have to pay & display to do banking business.

    Being skint has its benefits in that it gives me a break from the cunts pathetic service.

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