Just Tattoo of Us

I’d like to nominate a TV programme I never even knew existed for a cunting called “Just Tattoo of Us”.

The basic premise is that you get two friends or family members and have them pick a tattoo which best describes their friend/relative and have that daubed on them for eternity.

All in the quest for “light” entertainement.

Moreover they select the perfect chav hosts with some cunt from Geordie Shaw and some cunt from “Towie” (whatever the fuck that is).

I remember watching the 1986 classic RoboCop and seeing mock adverts for TV shows like “Climbing for Dollars”, etc., thinking: “Ha! The future what a cunt! It’ll never be like that!”

Alas the reality 30yrs later is far worse.

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

70 thoughts on “Just Tattoo of Us

  1. Who are those mongs in that picture?…
    He looks like he’s on day release and the tart is cross eyed… Pair of cunts…

    • Looks like the cunts got a twisted gub, maybe related to Douglas Carswell or Cuntsberg?

      He looks more like he’s been victim of a plane crash than Nigel Farage does after he actually survived one.

  2. I wouldn’t mind seeing the gameshow The Running Man from the Arnold Schwarzengger film of the same name as a bit of light entertainment, with entrants picked to run the subterranean gauntlet from weekly noms by ISAC cunters.

    • “Climbing For Dollars” was in The Running Man.
      Robocop had the “Nuke ’em” board game (Get them before they get you).
      Ah, the joy of 1980s action movies, compared to the shit Hollywood turns out now…

  3. Does anyone remember that Clive James show where he used to show clips from Japanese TV and we all used to laugh at what soppy cunts they were?
    We ain’t laughing now.

  4. Firstly, I’d like to nominate myself as an utter, monstrous cunt for even knowing who these two fucking non-entity talentless dregs even are. In defence Mi’lud, I rarely have any autonomy over the house remote. Please also account for the fact that I have at least not seen this particular shit-show when sentencing.

    Charlotte Crosby (the cunt on the left, because you never know who is or is not a gender-fluid bi-tranny these days) is a perfect, almost Da Vincian tier idealisation of the template the modern talentless zero must follow to become famous. Hailing from that overflowing dog-shit basket known as Geordie Shore, this fat cunt is literally famous merely for shagging around, talking indecipherable bollocks, getting drunk, being thicker than a medieval simpleton after 5 flagons of mead and for her major talent – being able to do all of the above simultaneously.

    I couldn’t pinpoint the precise socio-econmic complexities that led us to the point where drunken slags from Newcastle constitute celebrity. It is however no doubt a culmination of the ‘evolution’ (more like devolution) of reality TV, social media’s ‘get muh famous’ ethos, and the desire for TV to get ever more crass in an Olympian race-to-the-bottom.

    You know, back in the 90s, I remember several late-night shows which gave an insight into the clubbing scene and often featured drunks staggering about, people snogging explicitly and louts being arrested for shitting on a fox. Back then, that was cheap filler shown only during the witching hours on ITV/Channel 4; when people were either themselves out clubbing, asleep, or like me, teenagers still on their post-wank high after Channel 4 had shown their latest bit of foreign film erotica/Eurotrash. These sorts shows were quite rightly never spoken about and garnered zero attention outside of insomniacs and clubbers on a comedown in their living room.

    Fast forward to the 2010s though, and these sorts of programmes get huge attention and constant rotation on MTV. The sort of shit which was consigned to the oblivion of 3am when I were a lad is now a cause célèbre. I often wonder if this excess of reality TV is all one enormous prank: a ‘Dinner for Idiots’ type conspiracy where commissioning editors across networks are in cahoots to see just how low they can go and successfully convince the public at large that cunts like the above, and shows like ‘Just Tattoo Of Us’, are a legitimate premise for television viewing.

    I couldn’t tell you what this specific show is about. The fact that it is fronted by two of the most grotesque shitheels from the world of reality TV (and that is saying something) is enough to know how deservedly it warrants a mammoth – nay, behemoth – of a cunting.

    • The TV companies love Cunts and programming like this, the shows cost no more than two bob and a pickled egg to make , the ( stars) Cunts that come on them are more than happy to debase themselves in front of the tsunami of even bigger Cunts that actually think it’s entertaining to watch some northern scrubber getting drunk and fucked by all and sundry, or some retarded ex scaffolder who calls women Cunts and sticks his cock into anything with a pulse!!
      Amazing entertainment……..
      There’s ( snow) business like show business……
      See that little bit of racism dropped in at the end……..

    • Go and watch ‘Idiocracy’, sadly too prophetic that film where Ow my balls! Is the most popular TV show.

    • De-Evolution.

      I’m a Doctor Of Psychotic Enlightenment, so I know about all that guff.

      Brill post, btw, ECB.

  5. I won’t be watching ! I have had the misfortune to watch shite of this type and you can actually feel your brain rotting away ! I just can’t afford that !

  6. Snowflake alert! Snowflake alert!
    Saint Gary Taxdodger in the news today after re-tweeting a vid of some stone and petrol bomb throwing yobs being dragged down the street by Israeli soldiers.
    Cue the crisp muncher crying his eyes out for these poor victimised children. Cunt.

      • The self importance and arrogance of Linekunt never fails to amaze me… He was a mercenary goalhanger: who jumped from club to club for money and who just poked in ‘bread and butter’ tap-ins… He had no qualities or skills like Charlton (R), Greaves, Law, Dalglish, Keegan, Sparky Hughes, Kerry Dixon etc… But the cunt thinks he is some sort of fucking oracle… Some kind of great thinker who should pour his ‘wisdom’ on the ‘riff-raff’ of Britain… The man is a fucking premium cunt, only rivaled by Lily Mong in the Twitter cunt competition…

    • seriously does Lineker actually belief all this stuff? Or is he just making all the right noises?
      Either way he’s a first degree Cunt ……

  7. No idea who or what this shite is and have no intention of finding out. This is my definition of window licker’s tv where you actually lick the windows while watching it. Like a royal birth/wedding/walkabout or the X Factor/I’m a celeb/Victoria etc.
    Surely no self respecting cunter could stoop so low?.

    • Have to disagree about royal births. Watching a hospital door for endless hours, all in 4k. Unmissable.

  8. Off topic, heard late last night the Turkey President saying that America can no longer be “peace broker” in the Israel / Palestine situation and another must be found.

    I just hope GB keeps well out of this and leaves it to some other cunts to get involved instead.

    I suspect this might explain that sneaky sacked off cunt, Patel’s recent holiday.

    I bet Tony BLiar is on the phone right now climbing right up Recep Tayyip Erdoğan’s arse, despite not wanting anything to do with the cunt, or it’s country in the EU.

    Breaking cunting news;

    Sadiq Khunt, humbled to be invited to Grenfell 183rd day memorial as many cunts uninvited.

    Shite flowing about Lammy cunt losing a friend in tower. Why not just say they were all friends that you just hadn’t met yet you racist cunt.

    Just waiting on the peaceful Santa now…


  9. “Shite flowing about Lammy cunt losing a friend in tower. Why not just say they were all friends that you just hadn’t met yet you racist cunt.”

    I remember Lammy getting absolutely destroyed by Brillo on The Daily Politics over the former’s claims about the number who had died, and other crap made up without any factual basis. It was a joy to watch the cunt reduced to a shrieking, butthurt manchild.

    • I’m sure it transpired he wasn’t an actual friend if my tramadol / gabby pickled memory serves me right and just knew of her.

      If my friend was an MP and I was on the 20 whateverth floor of a block of flats, he wouldn’t be my friend for long if he didn’t get me a decent pad sorted.

      I wonder how many times he has ever been in the tower in his life?

      I see Britain Firsts leader has been pulled in for expressing views which are not in line with those of the peaceful religion worshipers.

      Apparently they comb through every word that comes from him and the lady who works alongside him, looking for ways to put a racist angle / twist on it and try their best to gain public support against them, branding them nasty.

      Why?, because they have different views and can see through the peaceful charade?

      We have freedom of speech here, didn’t you know that before you came here?

      Maybe it was the benefits and the soft justice system that made the deadly trip across the Med on an inflatable dolphin a worthwhile gamble?

    • More chance of UKIPs Paul Nutall being at Hillsborough that day than Spammy Lammy having set foot in her flat, if not the actual tower entrance.

  10. Sorry but do not understand people’s need for “body art” tattoos (think for the most part they look cheap and tacky) or this type of programme and will definitely not be watching.

    Cheap tv made by and for half wits in my humble opinion.

  11. How long can it take to tattoo “Cunt” on someone’s arse?

    Could just use a selection of different fonts from the Windows toolbar drop down to spin the series out.

    I’m off to adopt a Snow Leopard, its only £3 a month…Bargain!

    • Better off sending money to Oxfam.
      £5 pays one of their directors for 30 seconds
      £10 keeps some African Politician in the manner to which Oxfam has accustomed him.
      £25 and at least a penny will go to a child in Africa.
      Give until it hurts.

      • I’ve only got £3 left to give and giving this might even force me to find the local food bank location.

    • BB… Good for you , just don’t put the fucker in the same pen as the polar bear you adopted last week or you’ll have a shit Christmas.

      Don’t forget the monthly donation for poor Umboko or whatever his fucking name is , his feet are fucking killing him walking to that shitty waterhole 87 miles away.

      • Young Kyundai is the latest arrival to the camp and has been for the last three years.

        Despite being a lot older, he still squeals as Nurse Kunta Ratchet rams the stethoscope into his abdomen. She looks like one of Mugabe’s henchmen, making sure no cunt escapes from the camp.

      • The toy better fucking come. Its for someone’s Christmas, then I send STOP to opt out before next month. Bet the cunts don’t send the toy until month 12. 😀

      • I actually phoned up about the “Adopt a Jaguar” appeal.
        They seemed pleased to hear from me at first, but when I said I’d happily adopt a 1966 3.8 S Type in Squadron Blue with black leather interior, wire wheels and overdrive, they got really snotty and hung up.
        Ungrateful cunts…

        • Beautiful car the S Type – my dad had a 1963 (I think) gun metal grey 3.4 MkII with wire wheels and rally tweaked engine/suspension – Christ did I give him grief when he traded it in for a Daimler automatic 5 years later!

  12. Grenfell family’s ‘Hotel prison nightmare’:-


    I haven’t let my own views on immigration blind me to the stress, upheaval and anguish caused by losing a place to live due to a major fire.

    But tell me, how many other fire-affected people outside of Grenfell get so much laid on for them?

    “It’s a struggle,” says the father, Mohammed Rasoul. “At first, immediately after the fire you think, ‘Oh, OK, hotels, we’ll be comfortable for a while.’ But the novelty soon wears off when you realise it’s the place you’re going to be living in.
    “It comes to the point where you feel like a prisoner living in here.”
    If their UK living conditions are so bad, perhaps they should seek asylum in their Pakistan homeland.

    • Hotel nightmare, eh?… While some poor old bugger, who worked and paid in all their life, who lives on a UK council estate will be worrying if they can afford to put another bar on the fire as it freezes over… Fuck the entitled sandspade sponging self serving cunts… Fuck them to fucking hell…

    • Are there actually any white English people on this interminable list. I couldn’t give a fuck about
      Mohammad. Put some folding beds in the fucking mosque.

      It’s gonna cost over £200 million just to rehouse these cunts. That doesn’t Include hotel bills food bills, entertainment bills, and now the cunts are being offered free massage!!

      • Actually, that is a fair point – what is the local mosque doing to help the significant Islam contingent of Grenfell survivors?

        Shouldn’t they be helping house their brothers?

        • If I listen to BBC for one more minute I may have to strap a pipe bomb to my back.

          Ignore the fact they didn’t have contents insurance.

          Ignore the fact they were sub letting

          Ignore the fact they maybe illegals.

          This could set dangerous precedents.

      • Find the whole thing a monumental fucking disgrace, for start to the inevitable sorry finish.

        No need for a 6 month remembrance service FFS and the associated costs involved. Royalty and MP’s taking every opportunity to shed fake tears in public in order try and show how much they care. If they really cared they would help our own people in this country who are suffering. Those people who have paid into the system their entire lives.

        Completely ridiculous and embarrassingly out of touch with reality and the feelings of anger by many as to the huge amount money and time wasted on the Grenfell.

        6 months and the enquiry has only just started. And it will probably not cover all aspects which should be covered. Meaning that a second enquiry will be required, etc., etc. Those responsible will almost certainly not be punished or reprimanded, perhaps with a relatively small fine and or a slap on the wrists.

        I am a compassionate individual and cannot truly understand what the poor sods who have been left homeless who have lost relatives have gone through however feel a disproportionate amount of money has been spent by those wanting to help, and those eager to take advantage of the situation.

        Typical British government- nothing for those who really deserve it but again happy to piss away unrealistic huge eye watering chunks of our hard earned money away to those wanting something, whether it be for financial reasons or political gain.

        Sorry if this sounds heartless but these are my feelings.

    • I’ve no doubt these cunts are being fed and watered by the tax payer and I’m basing it on this.

      My mates cousin (white Londoner) lives in a block in Camden with the same cladding as Grenfell.
      A week after the fire, a knee jerk reaction from Camden council results in a knock on his door and two cunts in hi-viz telling him they clearing the building untill the necessary checks are done.
      He tells them to fuck off, they produce some paper work and he legally has to go.
      He then says (his words)

      “If you think I’m sleeping on a lilo in a squash court your out of your fucking mind, I’ve got a back problem.”

      An hour later he’s got a room in the Holiday Inn.

      My mate calls him up and says, “This hotel business must be a pain in the arse.”

      “You’re kidding” he replies, “It’s fucking great, get up in the morning, downstairs for the full English, then when I get back from work have a couple of pints in the bar. Go up to the room, which has been cleaned, have a shower then back down to the restaurant for dinner and more beers.”
      Particularly likes Sunday as they do a nice mixed meat roast apparently. Has to drop his washing off at his mums, poor cunt.
      Don’t know if he’s still there but was for at least three months.

      All this on the rates….try getting that in Pakistan….

    • it is interesting, when it kicked off in Bosnia Herzegovina quite a few peaceful locals fled to Croatia for sanctuary, well as there was a war on Croatia put them up in the vacant hotels (yes genuine hotels with doors and things) within a year what was not damaged in the tourist industry was pretty much fucked.

    • “The plastic boxes are stacked up neatly on the side, ready to be washed”

      Why exactly are they washing takeaway boxes?

      My heart bleeds more than her indoors toosh on bad week for these cunts.

      LBC is quality just now, can’t wait for the film….all cast with whiteys, Bruce Willis giving it Yippee Kayaaah over the burning sofa on the staircase landing, barefooted of course.

    • They come here to seek asylum in fear of their lives, but return home to visit the family once they’ve settled in. Probably to show the holiday slides and give them the step by step guide to getting the most out of Britain.

  13. Back in my day, charities were much more charity like. Charity workers were very low paid, and a far greater % made it through. Nowadays they seem to be run like a business but with the luxury of paying no tax.

    • How right you are C & R.
      I owned a newsagents shop for 5 years ( no, I’m English and white before you ask as I was born in the 60’s when it was still okay to have both parents straight, caucasian, one male one female ).
      Anyway, next to my shop was a Sue Ryder charity shop and the following applied:
      I paid business rates of approximately £10k per annum.
      I paid rent of approximately £11k per annum.
      I paid corporation tax at 19%.
      I paid VAT on my stock purchases (that weren’t newspapers and magazines as these are zero rated.)
      I paid my staff above minimum wage because they were worth it.
      I paid commercial rates for electricity (about double the domestic rates)
      The list goes on and I know that this is all part of running a business but the point I’m taking ages to arrive at is that the charity shop paid NONE OF THE ABOVE except half the rent. They were also selling sweets and greetings cards in competition with me but because they didn’t have to pay or charge VAT they were automatically cheaper. They had area managers running around in new cars, a fleet of new luton vans… fucking incredible. CUNTS.

  14. I hope I don’t upset anyone on here but I FUCKING HATE TATTOOS! Call me old fashioned (or a CUNT), but I just can’t get my head round the tattoo culture?

    Especially when you’ve been blessed with the most amazing thing you’re ever likely to own (your body), and mutilate it in the self belief that you’re making yourself totally different from everyone else?

    Unfortunately, I’m blessed with having a sister-in-law who’s totally FUCKED UP!


    Everytime I see it I can’t help thinking WTF!
    Something’s gone seriously FUCKING WRONG somewhere?
    Animal, vegetable or mineral?

    You Decide!

    • Agree entirely, and would add face/body piercings and body disfigurement in general. Fucking vandals.

      • Would God have gone to all that trouble just to have his work so callously disrespected? The old cunt must be spinning in his grave!

        • Many people people spinning in their graves Shitcake, but mostly those brave men and women who fought and lost their lives in WW1 and WW2 in order for TB and TB to surrender and hand over everything to the enemy when asked to do so.

  15. I would totally go on a show like this if it was an exercise in humiliation wherein people come on the show with their hideous, naff tatts. A panel of judges decide whose tatts are the worst and the winner is awarded the grand prize of an all expenses paid trip to the removal clinic. I would win hands down.

  16. I don’t get the mentality behind tattoos. Don’t they realise that once they’ve passed 50, they will transfer from mildly ridiculous to full blown cuntitude.

    Have to say, I did once consider having a gun on one bum cheek and a rose on the other, but I’m adverse to any form of pain.

    I’ve heard getting them removed is pretty horrendous.

  17. Stupid cunts with bodily tattoo’s compromise their own lives if they require surgery. The number of fucking cunts who go beserk when told that their “paintings” will will be defaced during surgery. I was once told I would be sued rotten if I fucked up a monstrous belly poster.

    Hospital Trusts are now regularly fending off potential litigations ( facilitated by our ever hungry lawyers ) when chav morons wake up and find Mickey fucking Mouse now holds 10 deep tension sutures and no longer lines up with mini.

    Tats! Fuck em all!

  18. The Grenfel gravy train rolls on and on. There was an item on TV a couple of days ago about rehousing the tenants. I can’t remember the exact numbers but if there were 200 flats in that tower then you’d naturally assume that you’d have to find 200 to rehouse everyone, wrong , the number is a lot higher because a lot of tenants who lived together in one flat
    now want one each !!! And they are getting it , the cunts . No wonder this country is going to the dogs.

    • You forgot deductions for total wipeout cases, of course someone escaped every one of the flats.

  19. A major tactic of virtue signalling lefties is to try to ‘own’ a disaster such as Grenfel. They do it by claiming as the useless CUNT Lammy did by saying he had a ‘friend’ in there which therefore somehow makes his grief more important than yours.

    That fucking horrible little cock/ major cunt pubescent school boy Owen Jones did this when he through a hissy fit on the Sky Paper Review with the rather busty, if I may say so, Julia HB.

    It’s simply designed to close down any debate, CUNTS.

    Back to Chav stamps as I like to call them, on the odd occasion I go to the gym I look at these 20 odd year olds all buffed up with their ‘sleeves’ and big muscles and can’t help but think of Peacocks trying to impress a mate, then I piss myself thinking in 20 years time, you’ll be fat, your mate will be fat and you’ll hate her just as much as she hates you, chav stamps will have gone out of fashion and you’ll look the Cunt you always were.


  20. Dreadful looking programme, presented by dreadful looking cunts, watched by scum. Time to get shares in tattoo removal services, because when the inevitable change in fashion favours untattooed cunts, most of the fickle cunts who have them will be queuing around the block to get rid of them. Funny how any of these body art type of things, which people get to try to individualise themselves, only make hem look like every other cunt who has them…..

  21. A mate of mine is a tattoo artist has been since 1979, he did a couple of mine in my yoof but I saw him not long ago and said business must be through the roof now every cunt wants a tattoo and he said it’s actually the opposite because every cunt wants a tattoo, every cunt is tattooing people. He used to have a 3 month minimum waiting time if you wanted a tattoo from him, nowadays it’s rare that you have to wait a week.

    In many ways it’s sad because he’s a proper tattoo artist who designs tattoos rather than just transferring something somebody else has done onto the customer like all these young’uns today. Back in the day he used to get lads in the forces coming to him to get stuff done, Hells Angels were big customers too and he’s even tattooed a few big rock stars including a couple of the fellas from Motley Crue. Nowadays it’s little tarts who want ‘Magaluf 2017’ tattooed on their chavvy backs.

    • The good old holiday “tramp stamp”. I don’t have any myself but have a lot of respect for the real artists who do their own stuff, particularly good portraits. However fear of a cunted job scares me off for good.

      Here is a classic Celtic FC supporter so proud of his team tattoo. See if you can spot any famous faces you know around those bent over arses those bhoys just love…


      Anyone seeing Ray Reardon, the Dracula of the snooker tables?

      Maybe its Alf Roberts, the old shop keeper from Coronation Street?

      Or did you get it right away and see newspaper mogul Robert Maxwell?


      How about former US President, George Dubya Bush?

      Coronation streets oldest shagger Ken Barlows hiding in there.

      Bonus point if anyone got Michael Myers.

      Perhaps the biggest question is what team are below in the light blue and white hooped football shirts? or did the tattoo “artist” run out of green?

      I will do without thanks.

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