Billy Connolly (2)

Billy Connolly – what fucking empirical cunt.

In all my years I have never found anything this over-excitable, boorish bellend has said to be even marginally funny. Not once. And like a radioactive turd, he ruins everything he appears in – not least that fucking episode of Columbo.

Everything about this cunt grates on me and always has. Now he appears to be in the pantheon of ‘respected’ comedy talents. How the fuck did that happen?

Cuntfuck extraordinaire.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.

43 thoughts on “Billy Connolly (2)

  1. UNFUNNIEST MAN ON THE PLANET. The only time I’ll be happy to see Connolly on ISAC again is when someone who nominated him wins the Dead Pool.

  2. Saw Donnelly a few times in his early days of stand up and he was hilarious. Unfortunately was subjected to one of his videos at Christmas about 10 years back. Seemed to think it was riotously funny to shout ‘fuck!’ every other word. Lost the plot somewhere.

    He was however good in Mrs Brown and excellent in Quartet…

    • Early days thought some of the stuff BC did was excellent, highly original and at times hilarious. Despite loving travel documentaries could not bear to watch him on his three wheeled bike wearing the head scarf. Too much self indulgence for my liking.

      Comedians generally do not age well and are not able to maintain their ability to make people laugh. As they get older, instead of being young and cutting edge they just come across as a bit sad and desperate attempt to try and keep up.

      Bob Newhart is a possible exception. Cannot think of many others, possibly the late Eric Morcombe?

      • I think the ABBC got their “kiddie fiddler harbouring” claws into him and milked him for all he was worth.

        I thought his early days were quite funny but someone has told him to change his act and “try harder” and I think this was his downfall.

        They must have hated someone with such a global following coming from Scotland.

    • For a while in the early 1970s I have to admit Connolly was quite funny…but not enough to make up for all the cuntage he’s put us through since!

      Pamela Stephenson is also an irredeemably monumental cunt these days too.

      • Imagined Pamela Stephenson in her younger days to be a really dirty bitch and whilst clearly highly intelligent also slightly mental.

          • Her on the American Express sketch on not the nine o clock news was the business to a fifteen year old me….

    • Some years ago there was a rumour that he was to play Albert Schweitzer in a film. IMHO, FWIW, and on the evidence of the two films cited above, he would have been excellent.
      He was also responsible for the phrase “self-confessed player of the pink oboe” in Peter Cook’s “Biased Judge’s Summing-Up” sketch, possibly THE funniest monologue I’ve EVER heard.

      Dioclese is also a brilliant film critic, and vastly superior to that brilliantined badger’s arse Kommode !!

      • ‘Kommode?’ O, right. Kermode. Phew. He’s a cunt too. Completely agree about Connolly, as it happens. Used to be extremely funny, but once he learned he didn’t need actual material, but that septic audiences were happy to applaud his accent, lost it completely. A Glesga proto-Cleese, both now sadly flushable down the memory hole.

  3. Marr looks especially cuntish this morning: Pillar and Starmer headlining.

    O’course I actually thought I was watching Al-Jazera for the first few minutes as the news was read until being graced with Marr’s lop-sided cunt face.

  4. Sir William Connolly CBE should stop teasing us and follow up on his promise to cark. If he fancies doing it live behind the Queen as she gives her Christmas address, I’m sure Her Majesty would appreciate the boost in audience figures,and I’d certainly enjoy the show. He could use his final breath to give a long,drawn out “Fuuuuuuukkkk” as he turned blue…….Fuck me,the bastard has finally made me laugh,and that’s just the thought of it….Bring on the live(for a short time) show.

  5. Any time I have seen the Big Yin on his comedy shows, his material comprises mainly of farts, jobbies and fuck-offs.

    His pubic hair sketch from years back was OK along with his straight roles. His recent USA train documentary wasn’t bad either.

    He may not be everyone’s taste (he is seldom mine) but I am not convinced he is a seasoned cunt, say in the Russell Brand bracket. Perhaps he could qualify as an emeritus cunt?

  6. I saw a connelly live years ago and he was funny but that was on VHS FFS!! …. I’m pretty sure he hadn’t said anything remotely funny since the late 80,s but comedy like music is a personal choice, look at Michael mc intyre!! Apparently shouting a lot and pulling faces is now classed as comedy? So maybe Connollys still relevant?? Definitely not for me!!

    • I struggled towatch McIntyre (the noticer) for two minutes last week just to hear him milk a sketch out if hanging a fucking clock. As pointed out, it’s better to watch the audience ‘laugh their socks off’ in the most uncomfortable fashion. Comedy generally has it’s time … Monty Pythons, I thought was brilliant in it’s day forty years ago… I can barely raise a smile to it now …. McIntyre’s audience could give it ten minutes and ‘look back’ asking .. Did I really laugh at that shit ?

  7. He was definitely to Michael Parkinsons’ taste.
    The cunt would fawn over Connolly at every opportunity.
    Vomit inducing….

  8. What I hated most about Connolly, apart from his humour was the fact that the ugly fuck pulled Pamela Stephenson, up until I found that out Pammy would guest star in most of my furious teenage wanks then he had to come along and ruin it, the cunt, couldn’t get his face out of my head. Fucking 10 types of cunt.

    • Anyone got Chris Rea in the dead pool ? I was taking Mrs Fistula to see him at the Brighton centre tonight, now the husky voiced selfish old cunt has collapsed on stage last night in Birmingham.

    • You’re all very cruel. Remember that join up band he was going to with Dire Straights?

      Yes, they were going to call themselves…wait for it…
      “Chris Straights!”

      I’m ‘ere all week!

  9. Apparently he had pancreatic cancer which was spotted early so his pancreas was removed (leaving him diabetic).

    His collapse could therefore easily had just been down to low blood sugars as with diabetes, blood sugar is regulated with insulin.

  10. A quick thank-you to North Korea for bringing the word “dotard” to my attention. I feel sure that I’l be able to work it into the conversation when the OAPs have their Christmas get-together in the local pub.

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