LBC Advertising

I would like to cunt the adverts on LBC.

Fuck me, I haven’t timed them but they must take up a good 25 minutes of each hour. I like listening to LBC,even O’Briern , but the ads drive me nuts, i turn em down actually. I particularly loathe those ads where at the end they blather on about ‘terms and conditions’ as though they are just an afterthought whereas that is in fact the most important stuff you need to know, they only mention them because they are required by law to do so..

oh yeh British Gas stick that penguin up your arse, not funny.

Nominated by Richard1

130 thoughts on “LBC Advertising

  1. Off topic, but….

    Just stood behind a beached whale in costa coffee. A school teacher moaning she had to skip paying her train fare due to not having money whilst paying for a huge breakfast whilst playing with her iPhone!

    • These same behemoths are probably the same nosy cunts checking lunch boxes for the odd bar of chocolate or bag of crisps at school.

  2. Whilst sitting in Costa Coffee I have just seen a waddling fat woman coming out of greggs and spend 5 minutes squeezing herself into her car (blue badge of course. ) She had several bags of food. She was FUCKING FAT! No excuses lardy woman. Diet and exercise for you! Fat acceptance? Yes, she needs to accept she is fat and FUCKING DEAL WITH IT ASAP.

    • People who abuse the blue badge scheme need a massive cunting.

      I could have one due to a congenital medical condition, but choose not to as I’m able to walk, get a bus etc. And I’m not a fucking lazy fat arse benefit scrounging scumbag who feels the world owes them a living because they’ve managed to squeeze into a pair of leggings that make their legs look like kebabs.

      Cunts.

    • I fuckin hate fat cunts… they might as well have a sign stuck on them that reads, I’m a fat glutinous cunt and I have no self respect or respect for any one else

      • I couldn’t go as far as saying I hate fat cunts. That requires effort and I can’t be arsed with that. What I would say is I cannot stand how fatties think they should get special treatment or be pandered to because they’re the size of a small town. That’s not on. Hey fatty, the world is designed for normal sized people – get used to it or drop a few stone and quit whining. Or in your case, wheezing.

        When it comes to the fatties, I always say the same thing. Why did they not consider their weight/physical dimensions to be a problem when they were half the size they are now?

      • The fire brigade will be so occupied with fatty rescues and peacefuls kick off they’ll have no time for us when we need m.

  3. “I particularly loathe those ads” I find Radio ads in general to be pure cancer the volumes 20 times louder then it should be and the advertisement yells at you like a annoying petulant child to buy their stupid shit.

    Telly ads are just as bad or even worse especially the yank ones I’ve boycotted products just for having rustled my cock. Hell I would probably boycott more of them if I watched television more often

    • Titslapper, how come you into Techno so much? I thought you were more of a Guitar based music fan.
      What do think of this classic?
      https://youtu.be/3cYwggM2UGk
      It’s not Techno but has a few techno elements in it. It at least 15 years old.
      Turn up the bass.

      • Truthfully there is to much “wub wubs” in it that voids its technological label its sounds more like breakbeat which also reminds me of dubstep, yuck!. To answer your question I like techno because it quenches the pain in my heart and soothes my mind in a world gone completely and utterly mad.

        I won’t mince words here black & white I’m a techno elitist and a techno fascist, so I consider some forms of techno to be complete shite and degenerate, not worthy of mention. My hopes is that people wake up to the beauty that is techno and come to the conclusion that the bourgeoisie having been suppressing techno/ electronicas popularity for over a decade and are the ones responsible for perverting its true healing abilities. These bourgeoisie have to be “dealt with” for their crimes against humanity.

        The common man deserves a pure untainted techno in all its former glory the young children of techno deserves to dance and be free again. Guitar based music is fine and dandy but its time to think about techno futurism I’m so disgusted by the future. Guitars are ancient they are a old invention analog and digital synths are the future

      • As a professional guitarist, what could I possibly say other than “bollocks!” 😉

        You don’t play a synth, you program it. I’m not knocking techno but there’s a place for all types of music. I can’t play a keyboard, but I’ve don’t recordings with synths – and guitar – that I played myself.

        Mind you, there are a lot of second rate guitar bands about IMHO.

        At the end of the day, it’s all a matter of personal taste.

        I went to see Pet Shop Boys live once. Fuck knows why. Its electronic, nothing live except the vocals. Sounded exactly like the CD. Quel surprise!

      • @Chas C, I am a sound engineer and electronic music producer, I have to disagree with you regarding synths. Yes you do have to program them or use a preset sound (programming your own unique sound on a synth is amazing) but depending on the patch/sound you’ve created or even preset you can play it. For example if I programmed a synth piano I could play it like a you would a piano (obviously not exactly) but my point is that you can ‘play’ a sound from a synth.

      • “@Titslapper, I get your point. Let me hear an example.” Would of replied sooner M8 but I went out shopping making some gnocchi for dinner tonite

        Sure no problem heres some premium technos for you The first one with a aptly titled monday by orbital for rememberance day today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70tO7EyHLNA
        heres some alan walker- Sing me to sleep https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=2i2khp_npdE a good song to snog or wank too lol 🙂 Peace B&W Also Happy rememberance day everyone

      • @Chas C, I am a sound engineer and electronic music producer, I have to disagree with you regarding synths. Yes you do have to program them or use a preset sound (programming your own unique sound on a synth is amazing) but depending on the patch/sound you’ve created or even preset you can play it. For example if I programmed a synth piano I could play it like a you would a piano (obviously not exactly) but my point is that you can ‘play’ a sound from a synth.

      • B&W fair do. Maybe I was a bit harsh there.
        I use a program on the Mac to piano roll the synth. My key board skills are moderate which is ironic as my mother was a concert pianist with an ALCM. I can write the music, program the sound and the synth plays it.

        I like blues guitar as you might glean if you’ve ever heard my stuff. Its the spotenaity (can’t spell it) I !like. You never play the same song the same way twice.

        Remember Bill & Teds Excellent Adventure? Beethoven in the key board shop in the shopping mall? I often wonder what Mozart could have done with a modern keyboard?

      • I work with a young lad who says he’s studying music at Uni. Oh I said what instruments can you play , he said you dont have to these days , you just need to know how to program a computer. So there we it, you don’t have to be a musician, you have to be a technician. CUNT !!!

      • whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
        you only have to punch the instructions into a drum machine once

  4. Off point…..
    According to the BBC the Church of England has given transgender guidance to primary schools?? Teachers are told they should let boys and girls wear tiaras , tu – tu,s and toolbelts without out them being bullied or labelled ………
    Cuuuuuuuuuuunts!!

    • I saw this in the Mail yesterday but it’s the kind of story I’d prefer to see reported elsewhere before believing.

      It’s beyond cuntworthy. The emasculation of British men is starting earlier than ever. People who are actually on board with this are an absolute horde of cunts.

    • The “peacefuls” will be pissing themselves and rubbing their hands in equal measure at this, or hooks – if they’ve had the odd accident producing the odd IED or two.

    • Blokes in dresses giving the thumbs up for boys in dresses, who’d of thought…

      The brainwashing starts early in the house with prayer conditioning…

    • And these pussified little fairies are going to be the next generation of adults. GOD FUCKIN HELP US ALL .

      • This is why I plan to cark before they can get me into a nursing home. I don’t fancy a load of deviants pawing at me when I’m too old to resist. Poofs and trannies will get their jollies wherever they can. They have no morals,this is why I wouldn’t leave my dog overnight at the vets after he’d had some stitches. The vet was a poof,and the dog defenceless…I wasn’t prepared to take the risk that the poof might turn rampant on my hound and infect him with the Aids.

      • Big +1 as I have considered being at the mercy of these cunts in my later years and don’t cherish the thought of being buggered stupid, branded as insane when I protest to family.

        My vet is also on the wrong bus, are they targeting this profession I wonder?

      • In what other profession can you get to stick your arm up a live cows arse without being arrested? Reason enough for chutney locker bandits.

      • That peaceful looking doctor that works with Jeremy Kyle must have fisted a few live cows in his profession?

    • It’s always bothered me why the C of E publicly weigh in on anything. If people want to go along to church and pay homage to their imaginary friend in the sky, fine. Preach all you want. However, if some event occurs (bombing, change in government policy, etc.), I don’t get why the Archbishop of Canterbury (or whoever) gets air time to explain what they think.

      Think about it. Organised religion is a business that seeks to make money out of duping people into believing they’ll be an after life pay off for parting with their cash in the here and now. That’s extortion. Choosing to have faith in a higher power or whatever is fine as far as it goes. But the key word is “faith”. These people are choosing to believe something they do not know to be true. That’s delusionary.

      The mouth pieces of the C of E are guilty of BOTH and yet are pandered to by the media at every opportunity they get.

      If I was the head of some organisation and said I believed in fairies and pixies who live on the moon, can turn moon dust into gold and I can arrange for you to meet them for 50 quid every Sunday, do you think the TV cameras and hacks would be outside my house gasping for a quote the next time some event occurred? I think not. Yet, dress an old deluded extortionist man in a black dress and funny hat and suddenly you have a fountain of all compassion and knowledge which the media can’t wait to report on. FFS, I just don’t get it. Cunts!

      • The church is a part of the same plan. United nations, Hollywood, CNN the education system, you name it, if they have power over people’s thoughts then they’re on the payroll.

  5. I like to Julia H B when I can on Talk Radio. Fuck me in a half hour section over 10 fucking minutes is ads, news and weather. Mind you I don’t know where their revenue would come from if they didn’t have ads. Still fucking annoying tho.

    • Julia HB can be a tad shouty-cunty at times, but other than that she’s so fucking bangable.

      • I have only one wish on my Xmas list and that’s a threesome with Nigella Lawson and Priti Patel. Please Please Santa

      • Did you not see her leaving No10 in her big blue tent, I mean dress?

        If you only saw her sitting in the House of Commons or behind a panel on Question Time, you wouldn’t know that the Borneo head Shrinker’s had got a hold of her.

      • I can’t get past her shredded wheat barnet and she looks like she could fit a few sausages in her mouth at the same time or has been stretched out by previous force feeding in her youth.

        Maybe its some kind of organic hair gel she uses.

        However she seems to be able to deal with the biggest of cunts and doesn’t shy away from putting them on the spot.

  6. Speaking of ads, I see that Debenham’s are towing the “right-on” line this year with their syrupy Xmas ad, cringingly supported by that perennial advert shill Ewan MacGregor.

    Can’t wait for the cunt to be all “on message” again this Friday night, fawning all over a poor village in the dark continent (for a whole 10mins), ravaged by heat and drought before heading back to LA to enjoy a nice spa and air con in his Sunset Strip villa. The cunt.

    • …. he might be heading back to LA, but not with Mrs Angry MacGregor …. that divorce bill will cost him a couple of motorbikes !

    • Maybe he could ask for the return of my old sunbed which i so graciously gave during the last appeal ??
      I don’t mind giving but a little thank you wouldn’t have gone a miss……..
      Oh a almost forgot to mention
      John Lewis and Tesco etc can go and get fucked with their sickening diversity Xmas TV advert nonsense ……….
      it’s only Monday and I’m already ticking!!

  7. “And drive away in the new Mercedes Cunt for just £99 a month.”

    £99poundsisforthefirstmonthactualmonthlyrentalis£999basedonaonemileayearmileagelimitat£50amileafterthat

    initialdeposit£22,000

    termsandconditionsapply.

    • Don’t forget to add the final payment of £15,000 with a piss taking admin fee added to that if you keep it or a hidden collection fee when you hand it back.

      Any admin fee over £25 is an utter rip off and a cunt.

  8. Fucking ads. Here in Australia, the average half an hour show is only about 18 minutes long because there are so many fucking adverts. And the thing that really pisses me off is that they will play the same ad in consecutive breaks – just in case you have suffered memory loss in the past three minutes. Fucking cunts.

  9. “Britain’s biggest supermarket Tesco is facing backlash from certain customers vowing to boycott the supermarket chain over its new “inclusive” Christmas advert.

    The advert, which features families from all walks of life, shows clips of a Muslim family celebrating the holiday, exchanging presents and cooking Christmas dinner.

    The new advert is part of a series of five short videos set to be released in the run up to Christmas to promote diversity. Tesco ends the advert with the phrase “Everyone welcome”.

    That’s it then, we are all going to do our shopping at Tescos hoping to meet some muzzos. Happy Christmas Cunts!

    • The last fucking thing I’d want to see at Christmas is a muslim trying to shove a parcel through my door. Probably a nail bomb.

    • I’d love to know what this bullshit from Tesco is based on.

      Anecdotal to be sure, but within my previous workplace, out of around 15 staff overall, had 5 Muslims, including one as a director. Not one of them over several years ever attended the Christmas meal (I stress ‘meal’, not a booze up), and most opted to work during the week-long office closure encompassing Xmas day and New Year’s Day.

      Never once joined in any of the festivities. I’m yet to meet a peaceful Christmas lover in all my years on the planet. I’d stop short of bitching about it to Tesco – I mean this kind of falsehood is peddled daily by the powers that be – but it is indeed a load of bollocks to include towelheads on an advert for a supposedly Christian holiday season.

      Then agan, the capitalist cunts in Tesco have likely long forgotten that Xmas is first and foremost a Christian event, and not just the annual opportunity to flog 2nd rate food and water/steroid-fulled turkeys.

    • Did they have a glazed pork roast on the table with all the trimmings like crackling and pigs in blankets?

      —-

      I can’t remember seeing a “Fertiliser and Fuel Oil” aisle in Tesco’s? Makes you wonder why any “peaceful” would be in there???

      • Big pot of pea & ham soup simmering away on the back burner too?

        People need to start writing in as many things to our traditions that they dislike to oppose the things they are erasing / cleansing out.

  10. Sorry but I need to make an emergency cunting! A thundercunt by the name of Thomas Canham has decided to roll out a programme in London which comprises of nursery kids as young as two being taught classes by fucking drag queens in order to teach them gender fluidity. Is there nothing fucking sacred any more? As a soon to be dad for the 2nd time I genuinely worry about what kind of warped world I’m bringing my kid into. I literally can’t think of any words to describe this monstrosity of a human…..

    • Take heart McBastard if the response of my 10 year old granddaughter is anything to go by. Overheard her informing her younger sister “Must not be nasty to them but it’s a man in a dress look how big his hands are” She was right it was a geezer. Seem to take all the pc shit in their stride but they know what really matters.

    • Like the tiaras ‘n’ tutus story above, saw that one in the Mail and just couldn’t believe my eyes.

      People can be what they fucking want, but why in the name of the cunting spirit do adult concerns need to be increasingly pushed upon impressionable kids? Why the FUCK does it need to be brought up at all?

      The future of this country is beyond fucked up.

      • As Victor Lewis-Smith once said:
        “It may not frighten the horses, but, by God, it frightens me!!”

        There is something to be said for “behind closed doors”

        An Englishman’s home is his(inflatable rubber) castle &c.

        Sounds a bit loike Cockney rhyming…

  11. Sorry that’s it I really can’t go on this is just the final fucking straw. What the cunting fuck is going wrong. My grand kids are going to grow up in a world where normal is deviants and religious nutters and they won’t right. Just don’t know what to do.

  12. I cunted Radio advert Terms and Conditions a while ago, some cunts talking at 1000 mph about a load of bollocks and in that boomy highly compressed sound you get from Radio. It’s enough to make London’s biggest cunt (LBC) James O’brien bearable. Anyways I’m off to order my Halal Turkey for Christmas.

    • The worst advert on TV for me is the Lloyds Bank advert where they are shamelessly using cancer to promote their bank.
      What they’re saying is if you bank with them and have a serious disease such as cancer, they won’t immediately come after you for money and have ”Specially trained staff to help you manage your finances”. Yeah, to make sure they get their money somehow and fuck you.
      Fucking hell, they’re all heart.
      The advert in question shows a woman with a bald head ( probably an actress….yes that’s right, an ACTRESS not an actor who is a woman) sitting in a wig shop being fauned over by a creepy black queer offering her some stupid brightly coloured wig.
      It’s absolutely disgusting. I can just picture the advertising cunts and the Lloyds cunts sitting round a table coming up with this one.
      It’s revolting and downright disrespectful to people who are suffering from or have had teir lives affected by serious and terminal illness.
      I cannot cunt Lloyds strongly enough for this. CUNTS.

      • Totally agree Ian Appropriate, Lloyds Banks are cunts.
        They also have the nerve to give me a Standard Saver account with… Wait for it 0.05% interest.
        What a load of cunts.

      • To be honest Dio I was pissing about on the app and I thought why not open another account to exist alongside the current account.

      • @Dioclese Blimey so Tesco are useful for something, I’ll look into that, thanks.

      • Why don’t they use some distraught woman who has been subject of a Weinsteining, I wonder?

        Lloyds are prime cunts though in a sector of cunts, its like we are just meant to…accept them?

        No, so they can fuck off to the EU without anyone’s money and see how far it gets them.

    • Before you stuff you Halal turkey BaWC, read the cooking instructions. Stuffing not ball bearings.

      • “Pork”, Sage & Onion stuffing, anything else isn’t putting the British into Christmas and isn’t fit for a proper Christmas dinner.

    • Btw, B&WC, make sure you take the stuffing out of that halal turkey, and send him home to his wife.

      As the Marquis de Sade said:
      “Feathers are a turn-on, the whole bird is perversion”

    • I have it on very good authority that James O’Brian listens transfixed to each and every ad that plays during the breaks in his treacherous anti UK rants, he sits there chuckling to himself, in open admiration for the guile employed by the scammers and rip-off merchants who can never stoop low enough to ensure some brain dead listener is parted from his cash or plunged ever further into debt than the gullible cunt was in already.

      No wonder this mindless twaddle enthrals O’Brian to such an degree – his warped pseudo-philosophy and crooked propaganda brainwashing techniques are embodied therein to perfection!

      O’Brian’s favourite, I’m reliably informed, was the vomit inducing BOOTS hearing aid advert, thankfully not airing currently after thousands of tedious outings over the last 2 years.

      Check the cuntish script out:

      (Cue mawkish, condescending mumsy voice, accompanied by slow, sickly, tinkly, piano muzak):

      “We asked people to put a price on their hearing – one reply said: ‘one hundred trillion pounds, because I love music and languages’. Another said: ‘priceless – who wouldn’t want to hear their grandchildren laughing?’

      “We know how much you value your hearing, that’s why at BOOTS we have interest free monthly payment plans available to make the right hearing solution for you even more affordable.

      “BOOTS – let’s feel good!

      “Subject to status – over 18s only – terms and conditions apply.”

      Pure emotional blackmail! Imagine having to listen to that nauseating sentimental muck over and over again 50 times a day!

      One saving grace – no cunts whistling…

      • “Who wouldn’t want to hear their grandchildren laughing…?”

        Depends what the little bastards are laughing at…

      • Boots are tax avoiding cunts on a mammoth scale particularly as they charge the NHS a fortune on their prescriptions and sort their tax via their avoidance HQ based Switzerland.

        NHS prescriptions should be banned from collection at Boots.

        As far as I’m concerned, they left Great Britain before brexit even happened. Cunts.

      • Hearing is overrated, if I lost my hearing I’d never have to listen to another annoying cunt ever again. If I lost my sight however, I could never add another fine filly to my wank bank.

      • It would be hard going for the rest of your life relying on “memory wanks”.

        Its tough enough managing for a week abroad when you forget your phone.

      • The grandchildren came in and said
        “Oi granddad, you deaf old slaphead twat !!”

        Fuck BOOTS.

        Gimme a nice bare pair of girly legs in a pair of wellies any day !!
        The worst Boots one has to be the optician’s ad, with the two silly bints (more twee, mumsy voices)
        “oooh, I look so, like,…” a daft munter.

  13. Black and White cunt loves a bargain, because my line of work means I’m abaaaaaht all kind of unsociable hours, I sometimes go shopping late in the evenings. I buy a lot of meat when it’s reduced and I fill up the freezer with proper quality at typically 25% of the full price.
    Tesco the cunts have cottoned on and now reduce their food a couple of days earlier to avoid having to reduce as much. Tesco are clever cunts and these Christmas adverts with Muslims on is a way of them targeting a growing population (they already have a big Halal section in a Tesco near me). I now mostly shop in Sainsburys and M and S, plenty of bargains to be had cunters especially in the garages. If you want to be rich… Every little helps as Tesco say.

  14. TV commercials indicate that the population of the UK is 50% black, 20% Oriental, 15% Middle Eastern/Pakistani/Bangladeshi, 10% disabled and around 5% white, but mainly women. White men are always depicted as sad, stupid arseholes who need a hand to tie their shoelaces. Exactly like the BBC do, in fact. Bunch of cunts. As for the Church of England with their transgender idiocy, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll try to bring religion into Christmas and other commercial festivals like Easter and Valentine’s Day.

      • Those who are pushing diversity are unwittingly creating a mono culture where everyone looks the same and communist.

  15. All this gender bollocks…
    Oh fuck it, I can’t even bring myself to comment.
    It’s just so vomit inducing.

  16. The church of England need to stop trying to appeal to all of this pc rubbish, they need to stick to the roots of the Christian faith.

      • Actually everyone expected the Spanish Inquisition because people called before them had to be given advance notice.

        Not a lot of people know that…

      • Not according to that Weinsteiner, Gwyneth Paltrow and John Hannah in that Sliding Doors.

        Got dragged to see that years back and its about the only part I remember. Cunt of a night.

      • @HBelindaHubbard, too true. It’s sad to see the church desperately trying to appeal to every cunt whilst going against its values/beliefs.

  17. What the fuck are all these furniture adverts saying ‘Order now and get your sofa delivered for Christmas’. Who in their right mind would want a new sofa for Christmas, so it can get stains all over it and some old cunt cam piss themselves on it. The cunts.

  18. Whether or not one gives a fuck, the Rohingya thingy is proof that integration does not work. Humans are not built to integrate.

    • None of my money will be going to any 3rd-world / refugee &c. scum begging organisations.

      I am saving up for a pair of steel-toecapped wellies so that I can kick them in the bollox / cunt, especially that stupid gyppo woman who hangs around local city centre like a rancid fart, trying to sell single (no doubt overpriced) roses.

      • “rancid fart” – OMG! That made me laugh so hard I nearly passed out. Quality HBH, quality. Cheers – I.Y.

  19. The Archbishop of Cunterbury, Justin Wel-feltup has issued nicey nicey guidance to schools about bullying and has stated that primary children should be free to cross dress without comments from teachers or pupils.

    The cunt Welby is a fucking cock in a frock.

    A pox on him and his stupid fucking liberal views. Am I the only one on here who would fervently applaud and cheer his spontaneous combustion?

    • Justin Welby should be hung quatered and his head stuck on a pike hes a traitor and cunt Btw theres rumors hes a closet poof too but the bigger crime is hes a cafflick cunt!

  20. No Paul, you certainly ain’t alone.
    That Archbishop is a creepy nasty looking cunt too.

    • On the one o clock news, Welby has said ( on the matter that children can be any sex they choose ) we are all created in the image of God.

      Well, that being the case. God is a raging transexual , gender fluid. homosexual, lesbian, cock and cunt artist.

      • So basically you’re telling me that the Archbishop of Cunterbury doesn’t read his own holy book?

        According to the book of Genesis, god made MAN in his own image. Woman was created later from Adam’s rib.

        You might expect the head of the Church of England to know this…?

      • MAN are a Welsh band. Genesis are English. Cunterbury was at the heart of the UK progressive rock scene.

        Not a lot of people know that Dio…

        It beggars belief anyone takes the slightest notice of anything that cunt Welby and his crooked Church of England con artists say any more.

      • and slimes are made from pigs’ sphincters…

        Not many mohammedans know that.

        Inbred, psychotic cunts.

  21. apparently last year there were 200 cases of ‘ transgender ‘kids in UK primary schools. how many primary schools in the UK? fuckin 1000s. so that merits having a drag fuckin queen inflicted on them does it? what a load of bollocks.

    • Yeah but next year it will be 50,000 of the little cunts once their parents Jemmimah and Tristan think they’re missing out on some virtue signalling social media likes.

      Can you imagine if they ever did have conscription again in 20yrs time…

      “Name!”

      “Smith, Felicity, SIR!”

      “Bra size!”

      “34B SIR!”

      “Cup size!”

      “Well it’s 6.5 inches so…”

      “MEDIUM CUP SIZE!”

      “YES SIR!”

      “Right Smith, you and I may share the same bra size but don’t think for one moment it’ll cut any mustard with me! Cock and bollocks still in tact!?! Pah! I had mine off when I was nothing but a corporal and not through an IED, no, mine was the proper op, get it you CUNT!”

      “Yes SIR!”

      “Now then, any questions? And the usual reply is ‘No SIR!'”

      “Sir! Well there was one thing?”

      “WHAT!?!”

      “Are beards for officers only or can any…”

      “SMITH! YOU ARE BARELY WORTHY OF THE PINK ARM BAND IN HIS MAJESTY’S ROYAL FUSIL-QUEERS-LESBIAN-GAY-AND-TRANSEXUAL REGIMENT! DO NOT PUSH YOUR LUCK YOU CUNT WITHOUT A CUNT!!!”

      “Yes SIR!”

      “Now fuck off! It’s my period. It takes me ages to pour the blood up there so I can pretend I’m on and stick tampon up! DISMISSED! MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!”

  22. I’ve had a break for a few weeks from LBC myself. I too was sick of the “perfect cunt” advertising the phone made by “perfect cunts” on a network provided by “perfect cunts”

    Believe in better?, you better fucking believe it.

  23. @ Chas C “You don’t play a synth, you program it” You actually play and program a synth. you make it sound like they are easy to use they aren’t, some keyboard synths take a manual library of information and instructions to figure out to operate let alone compose create music with

    “I went to see Pet Shop Boys live once. Fuck knows why. Its electronic, nothing live except the vocals”

    So they just stood by their instruments, no diddling with knobs or anything?! I mean I don’t really get the argument Chas but if the vocals were live, thats good thats a +plus right there M8. Most so called musicians pre record there live vocals or just mime to the studio version in concert pretty sad Pet shop boys aren’t bad a pretty decent synthpop band IMO but never seen em live in concert

    • Fucking hell moderation police out in full force today what sets it off?. Not to be a complainer but sometimes this moderation creates a climate of wrongthink in a way I dunno maybe I’m just paranoid whatever no big deal, Cheers

      • @Titslapper – I’m afraid it’s using my name that does it. Our trollie friend in Upton started glovepuppeting me and Dio had to put my name and email into the moderation filter. I wasn’t going to change my site!

        Re PSB, Neil could have done the gig on his own to a backing track which effectively what it was.

        No time for mimers. To me that’s fraud when you paid to see a live performance.

      • It is fraud I don’t go to alot of concerts honestly live gigs is not my forté but to most musicians, concerts are just contractual obligations not something they enjoy doing.

      • Actually live tours are what bring in the money. Since pirate bay and streaming – digital music in general really – there’s no big money in recording.

        I make a modest few quid on streaming. For example every time one of my tracks is played on Spotify, I get US$0.001 or 1000 plays = $1 so unless its played a million times, I won’t get a lot.

        It is, of course, a huge potential audience so it does work and once in a while I sell an album for around $8 on Amazon.

        Google ‘”Chas Crane” torrent’ and you’ll see I’m huge on Russian pirate sites.

        The tours bring in the dosh. Queen’s current tour had a cheapest ticket price of £137 FFS! Then there’s the merchandising that goes with it. The recordings simply promote the tour.

        Even then it’s cunts like ‘get me in’ that make the real money. Queen tickets trading at £1,500 a pair plus a £280 ‘admin fee’

      • “The tours bring in the dosh. Queen’s current tour had a cheapest ticket price of £137”

        Precisely why I don’t go! I could do so much more with that amount of money. The whole ticketmaster setup is jewy the people dumb enough to pay for it deserve to get ripped off 1,500 for something that was 280 retail? thats just mental I’ve never pay that

        “Actually live tours are what bring in themoney. Since pirate bay and streaming – digital music in general really – there’s no big money in recording”

        Yeah I know they are forecd to do that

      • Ticketmaster are utter cunts with a shit system that can’t cope with the traffic when dealing with big artists and even bigger shit artists.

        Put you in a queue, tell you not to refresh your computer, seven hours later you still have fuck all and there is fuck all left except tickets tied to hotel accommodation and a red hot laptop, the sneaky, fly cunts should be shut down.

  24. Hey shitcake ive never heard the advert but i sure as fuck fit the aids !!!!!👍
    GELDOFF NOW THATS A CUNT !!!!

  25. Every time I listening to LBC I end up listening to 1extra or talk radio coz I always turn over when the adds come on and get involved in whatever’s going on elsewhere. Fuckin terrible adds, they’ll turn you into a zombie if you let m.😬

  26. Tuned in for some drivel to help me nod off and it’s sing along cunty bloody ads about not getting anti biotics from the doctors.

    What’s worse is Darren Adam prattling about Cagney & Lacey reboot must allow a black Cagney, any reason not that anyone has is just racist.

    This comes in response to Sharon Gless saying the characters should be played by white people only. Go Shaza!

    This Adam one is a right 22nd Century cunt who seems to feel “everybody’s welcome”. Fucking pink oboe playing cunt I’m thinking too.

Comments are closed.