Laura Kuenssberg

Jesus wept. In what realm can this website exist without a single entry for Al-BBC political correspondent Laura Kuenssberg? Putting aside the very real possibility that I myself am a monumental cunt who is unable to properly negotiate the complex procedure of using the search button, please allow me to correct this major oversight.

If I was feeling tired and not up to the job, I’d stop at calling her face the visual encyclopedic definition of Sour Trout. I’d perhaps call the slant-jawed cunt a post-op Douglas Carswell. I could give a succinct yet visceral one-liner about how she looks like a woman with a vagina that smells of fermented tuna. I could even stop at merely calling her a smug, self-satisfied cunt.

No Laura. You aren’t getting off that easily I’m afraid.

Her predecessors, human-sized stool samples like Robert Peston, Andrew Marr and Nick Robinson all brought the level of cuntitude one would expect to the role of dramatising the boring world of Whitehall; infested with dull suits, doublespeak and empty promises. But Kuntssberg takes this to volume fucking 11 – the trademark sneer, the endless namesdropping of ‘her sources’ close to whoever is of momentary press importance, and most cuntly of all, the obvious look of joy on the face of a cunt who actually wants to BE the news as much as she reports on it. You can tell this abomination is a coffee-fuelled, brown-nosing shitstain who scours Twitter during any spare moment when her wonky fucking gob isn’t chattering away on the Al-BBC News or the Daily Bollocktics, desperate for that ‘angle’ that only a cunt like her can revel in regaling. She’s the fucking journalistic equivalent of a 3rd place finishing Apprentice contestant; the soulless talentless cunt you just want to forget but who just keeps whoring themselves around the fucking airwaves.

Her performance in the general election warranted a severe cunting; presumably being out-cunted by many of the politicians at the time. Practically door-stepping Treeza on the morning after the result, as much as May is a cunt herself, summed up Kuntssberg’s shouty-cunty approach to political journalism.

I read that the cunt now needs to he escorted everywhere by bouncers, such is the notoriety her cuntitude has afforded her. All spun of course by her employers as the ‘misogynistic abuse of women in TV’ or something – no, it’s because Laura Kuenssberg packs more cunt to the ounce than most people exude in their entire lifetime.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.

81 thoughts on “Laura Kuenssberg

  1. Nomination: Creationists

    Time to nominate the biggest bunch of retards in the world today. No, not the peacefuls (although there are quite a lot of Muslims in this bunch). Creationists are slack-jawed yokels who think that a bunch of Bronze Age goat fuckers from the shittiest part of the shitty Middle East know more about cosmology and evolution than modern astronomers and biologists. Utter, utter cunts.

    Anyone who looks to the Bible or the Koran for morality is a cunt. But anyone who turns to these piles of excrement in print for scientific theories is such an unmitigated cunt that they should be immediately delivered to Raqqa with a sign taped to their chest reading “I’m Graham Norton’s boyfriend.”

    If you are ever bored check out this website…

    The section on dinosaurs is unintentionally hilarious.

    “Why do monkeys still exist if humans evolved from them?” is a typical retort from these mouth-breathers to the mountains of scientific evidence for evolution. To which the only response can be “Why do idiots still exist when the internet has put the sum total of human knowledge at everyone’s fingertips?”

    Full rant here –

    FYI, whilst typing this foul-mouthed rant on the award-winning website ISAC, I was forced to delete a comment on my blog from a woman who claimed that not only was the Parson’s Green attack a ‘false flag’ but so were the attack on Manchester Arena and the Las Vegas shooting. Fuck me ragged.

    • Here’s hoping…her bodyguards are useless cunts…
      Even better would be that they shoot her accidentally.

  2. She is overused on the ABBC, no doubt to ensure their wimmin quota is kept up to date.

    Political expert? She wouldn’t know a manifesto if it walked up and kicked her in the chuff.

  3. Nick Clegg has a book out this week. “How to stop Brexit and make Britain great again”. You could not make this up.

    • Bargain bin by Xmas!!!
      If the smarmy EU rent boy fucked off to euroland the UK would instantly become a better place……

      • Clegg attended Caldicot private school. We now know Caldicot was rife with paedophiles over the years before and during the time he attended. Around half a dozen teachers were either prosecuted or investigated for child abuse. The headmaster himself was convicted. The whole sorry tale is well documented. Check it out. Clegg was head boy at this school and denies any knowledge of the rampant abuse going on. Hmmmm. Abuse, corrupt ,control comes to mind.

  4. The Krankie relative , and also grandaughter of Lord Robson and Von Kuenssberg, born in Italy, whose sister is a Diplomat in Mozambique, whose father is CEO of Brighton and Hove Council ( Finance ( of course ), raised in Glasgow ( the posh part ) studied in Edinburgh, and secret admirer of Krnakie , who is ( by distant marriage ) a relative.

    With a background like that, it is hardly surprising that this egotistical pro european pro revolutionary , twisted psychotic whore monger with a rabid take on anything she does not like, has been propelled professionally to a post that gives her enormous advantage in her regal proclamations.

    The whole fucking family are right up the shit shute of Europe. And frankly, that is where she belongs…up a shit shute.

  5. Superb and timely cunting.

    I particularly object to the way any criticism of her lack of impartiality is wilfully mischaracterised as misogyny.

    • It’s a tactic that the libbo meejah use (especially the ABBC) to divert any reasonable criticism of their reporters so that it can be assuaged as racism, sexism or any other ‘ism’ that is of the moment.

      This is cowardice and is no different to some snowflake cunt “unfriending” someone who dares enter their mental “safe space” with an opposing point of view.

      The other issue I have with the current crop of “impartial” news reporters is that they’re anything but, they wear their politics quite visibly on their sleeves and sneer at anything/anyone they disagree with and showboat anything/anyone they do agree with.

      Providing said reporter is “on message” they can get away with anything.

      Any reporter delivering any form of “off message” is summarily sacked; yet another form of censorship thus guaranteeing that the only views we see are those of the likes of Cuntsberg.

      As a middle-aged bloke I can see through their bullshit but the snowflake cunts coming through believe every word and that’s the real worry because those cunts have been brainwashed into thinking that being run by the EU and being overrun with “peaceful” cunts is a good thing, and the right thing to do.

      Fucking cunts!

      • With you all the way, especially on the ‘brainwashed snowflakes’ issue. Very concerning.

      • Exactly – the same way any criticism of Toksvig or Perkins is dismissed as “homophobic”. Nothing to do with the fact that the pair of them are as funny as bowel cancer.

        • I have always passionately loathed that Toksvig cunt… Even when I was younger I despised her when she was ‘Ethel’ in the sickening ‘Number 73’…. Nothing to do with the fact that she was a dyke, because I didn’t know she was one then… I just hated the bitch with every fibre of my being… Of course I now know Toksvig is a tuppence flicking kwikfit fitter, and, of course the old slag milks it and uses it to score points and avoid criticism in this PC mad era…So now I loathe her even more…

          • Perhaps, if Grenfell is ever rebuilt, it should be renamed “Toksvig Towers”

          • Exactly, Norman.
            I have detested this cunt since she creeped me out on No 73.
            Like them or not, kids presenters had to connect with the kids yet somehow this evil jiwarf with evil eyes and a shitty demeanor got a gig.
            Neil Buchanan was on that shite too, but he’s forgiven for bringing us Art Attack.

          • No, he was on a show that i can’t remember the name of set in a spaceship called the “millennium dustbin”.
            That was were i first saw Frank Sidebottom.

            Gaz Top is a massive Slade fan so he’s forgiven.

          • Gathhhhz Top!

            Now there’s children’s TV barrel scraping if I’ve ever seen it!

          • Agreed!!!
            Her and ( young) Ben Elton lookalike Perkins are two of the most loathsome Cunts to ever darken Britains TV screens..
            Seriously who finds either of these fucking idiots remotely funny??

          • Ben Elton lookalike!


            She fucking is as well! 😂😂😂

          • Was that 73 the program where there was some shit quiz where they won fillings to make sandwiches?

            If its the quiz I’m thinking about there was many wronguns and some of the “Yew Tree Gang” participated in it often. Bets a few more will come to light in future.

  6. Y’know Mike, this cunt Blair thinks he is the best thing to land on this planet. If he does interfere, then I agree with you, blood will flow!

  7. Why does that irritating Charlie Mullins fucker get to fart in my face at every opportunity recently on the News channels? Does he own the cunts or summat? Sub Lord Sugar scumbag.

  8. Blair is the gift that just keeps giving…. WTF…
    For my money nobody touches Blair for outright cuntitude…

  9. Pure spooky pedigree: Parents are Scotish land owners/Frankfurt bankers, privately educated elite Oxbridge on absolutely fucking silly salary…Course the Al-BBC never employs decent working class ladies like the lovely Patty Coldwell of 70s nationwide RIP.
    Watch this snowflake wench being vapourized by the French milf vixen Marine LePenn:

    • MLP is highly intelligent, but Kuntsberg just shows herself up to be the solid platinum cunt that she is.
      The embodiment of everything I loathe about Al-BBC

  10. Laura Kuenssberg is arguably the biggest and most smug cunt on/a the ABBC… No mean feat, considering the competition (Gary Linekunt, Nadyia Sandspade, Steven Moffatt, Claudia Winklecunt, Bogtrotter Norton, Dickhead Dimbleby etc)…

    On the subject of the ABBC cunts, that ‘remake’ of Porridge is utter and complete fucking shite…. Typical lazy ABBC bastards cashing in on past glories and attempting to airbrush and sanitise what was a classic comedy for the PC snowflake libmong ‘offended’ generation…. And what’s the betting that this ‘remake’ will be chocka with pooves, sambos, parking stanleys and there’ll be a ‘likeable’ inmate or screw of the ‘peaceful’ variety?…. It’ll be like the modern Doctor Who, only set in a prison…

  11. Superb cunting , Tend to watch the news when having me supper and this cunt has been fucking me off for the longest time.

    The strange face and voice (the krankie connection explains that ) and the constant trying to be the next marr or paksman by imitation and volume but absolutely no substance.

    Funny that another tv celeb is from a rich and powerful family , nothing beats having another cunt brought up in a bubble of wealth and privilege talking down to us.
    Maybe the ABBC C4 and the rest would like to bring on more working class ppl to present and attend panels , you know make it more representative of the nation. No of course not as that would fairly show how most of us plebs really feel about the current state f this once great country .

    With a Jaw and personality like hers shows shes taken a few punchs to the chin already the goofy annoying rectal spunk bubble.

  12. These poor fuckers these days have zero choice but to toe the line with their ideals. It’s because they live and die by their twatter and fuckbook existences. Say the ‘wrong’ thing and it’s goodnight saigon with your career. Same goes for our thespian friends. Capiche!

    • Spot on. The Entertainment industry demands you utter only politically correct liberal shite. Their silence on pervert Harvery Weinstein’s shenanigans is deafening. He is a powerful figure in Hollyweird with powerful friends. They know that should they condemn him and his disgusting predatory behaviour would be a career ender. All those mouthy cunts who publicly ranted about Trumos comments 20 years or so ago are saying fuck all over this.

  13. I remember this dopey wench during the election results programme being really surprised by the collapse of the UKIP vote, where most people expected it to, and I thought at the time, and still do, how the fuck did she get the job in the first place, and how does she keep it? Also, when she is speaking through her wonky gob, she looks like she’s telling the person to the left of her that the person on the right of her is a cunt.

  14. There are tv presenters who are positively encouraged to be cunty. Robbie Savage and Jeremy Clarkson spring to mind. The producers want them to maximise their cuntiness. Then there are those who have forged their own label. Russel Brand and Nicolas Sturgeon have recognisable cunty wuntyness. But a political commentator? It’s just wrong. The BBC don’t care.

  15. If you were stupid enough to put your cock in her mouth it would come out as matchsticks

  16. Has this site never cunted Goebbels before? Simply google ‘biased and sneering’, Cuntsberg won’t be far off of the top spot, with a generalised Al-Beeb occupying all the other slots. She’s got some stones, ill give her that. If common sense wins the day, let’s hope her valuable contributions are never forgotten.

  17. Can but hope that, in the future, Al-BBC will be cleaned out…
    I cannot think of any other organisation, other than the eu, that needs a high-pressure fumigation.

  18. Early cunting or at least a shout out to poppy fascist.
    No, I’m not making a hole in my parka or jacket.

    Bring it on cunts. My family have given and i don’t need to be told to do something for heroes who died for my freedom.
    If i live in freedom, then I’m free not to wear a poppy.
    I’m still a patriot, I’m still very very grateful, but i don’t want to wear a poppy and i ain’t gonna.

    • I wear a poppy on the day, not because I’m expected to, but because I know what it represents. I would never judge someone who didn’t wear one, but I would judge those who do, but show no understanding of what it means. Backstabbing politicians and nearly everyone on the BBC for starters. To those cunts it’s little more than Red Nose Day, rather than the quiet respect for those who fought for the freedom we see slowly disappearing in front of us. Top of the list of cunts who should not wear a poppy are the cunts who have recently said that brexit would fail if another referendum was held, as all those grumpy old racists are dying off. That would be the generation that fought actual fascism and proper nazis, now belittled by pathetic snotrags who couldn’t tell shit from bisto. Don’t get me started on the white poppy. Next thing you can bet your bollocks on will be a pink poppy, and a rainbow poppy, I can see it happening……

    • Agreed. Putting a poubd in a bucket and wearing a poppy is not a demonstration of support just bandwagonitis. I support veterans all year through charity donations but do not need a badge. I know my money is going to a good cause: homeless veterans. That is good enough for me.

  19. Kuntsberg pisses off labour and tory so she cant be 100% cunt. Perhaps 99% as a compromise. In the interests of balance.

  20. I would like to cunt any cunt that has gone out and bought fucking Christmas stuff They must be in a vegetable state. And cunt the shops that are selling the shit. Absolute bastards.

    • What a fuckload of shit, buying Christmas rubbish already.

      Fuck the lot of them.

  21. I would like to cunt my sister in law off !! Her Xmas starts in the January sales when she buys next years Xmas presents for everyone!! some would say she’s canny, others may call her thrifty? I prefer to call her a tight arsed cheap skate………..
    btw….. she’s loaded….. 😡😡

    • It’s nice to get a present no matter what time of year its bought.
      Its the thought that counts and just because she’s loaded, don’t make her a tight arsed cheap skate.

      You deserve nothing from her.

      • Harsh words birdman….
        buying a present that comes with a free gift then passing that on as a present is cheap!!
        Personally I wouldn’t do that to my niece and nephew?
        Btw…. There’s actually no thought given either!!

        • The present is the “thought”.

          Your cunting someone for buying gifts for others. That’s harsh.

          You deserve nothing from her.

          • Disagree
            Firstly the present isn’t for me, it’s for Xmas and we exchange presents for the children, just aimlessly buying anything as it’s in the January sale is actually pretty thoughtless, it’s not all about what you spend as some of the best presents you receive haven’t cost the most but have been thought out, just picking out something in January sale because it’s reduced is cheap!! Also splitting up the present and removing the free gift is cheap !!

            I personally wouldn’t do that to my niece and nephew,…..

          • Well, you never mentioned any of that in your original cunting of her.

            Why doesn’t she get you anything? 🙂

            My “in-laws”, my girlfriend/mother of my kids parents and brothers, get me nuffin even though they are millionaires.
            I’ve told her to take my name off of the presents she buys them but she keeps putting my name on them.
            The other day she was wrapping all their gifts up and I’m sat there pissed off as they couldn’t give a shite about me.

            The best present i could give them is to fuck off and never be seen again.

            Not one present in fourteen years off they cunts.
            I don’t even get invited to parties or holidays in one of their many properties.

            Maybe its me.

  22. Birdman if I posted all of her present buying shenanigans i could fill a small book!! ….
    we haven’t done presents for years, nothing malicious just we were all struggling with what to buy each other ……
    I always find out over the year what my niece and nephew like, and try to get them something they want , that thought isn’t returned , and as I said before removing free gifts from presents is in my opinion cheap!

    Fuckin hell that ain’t nice regarding your in laws…… 😡😡

    • Bugger me Birdman sounds like you are married in to my family. They hate Yours Truly and YT hates them. I take it you are boracic or at least if you have any wedge then it is nicely tucked away. My stratagem in your position would be to carefully assess the situation re money (does your ever-loving have any?) and consider matrimony. It could well have financial advantages for you and there is always the prospect of wedding presents. Then you have the option orf divorce at some appropriate time when the stars and pecuniary advantage coincide.
      Even the hardest orf hearts may be temporarily softened by wedding bells (I hope I do not alarm you too much old heart) and some cashola may come your way if you play your cards right. Milk it for all its worth.

      • No, no marriage for me Sir Limply Stoke.
        These cunts ask he every couple of months if she’s ready to leave me. That’s how cuntish they are.
        I may be a bit of a cunt but i know how to be civilised, but these cunts hated me before they met me and it only got worse after they met me.
        It’s actually brilliant not having them in my life. Its a rare situation, but one i’m happy with as they are snooty new rich cunts.

  23. The X-Factor was as piss poor as usual. Amazing how the cunts during the audition stage who had more than one minute’s airtime make the final 6.

    I’m always amazed and shocked every time that happens.

    The “singer songwriter” blonde lassy (with Reese Witherspoon’s chin and – unfortunately for her – Ellie Goulding’s voice) was especially nasal and strangulated and was an immediate shoe-in for the Judges Houses and will no doubt breeze past that stage with the usual braying of imbeciles doting on every flat note.

    I know I’m a cunt for tolerating such pap but I watch it with the kids and use it as an exercise in pointing out shite.

    It made me wonder that most current pop “stars” are pretty dreadful but through the blessing of social meejah they become the “most listened too”/”most viewed” because the other sheeple say it’s good.

    It isn’t, it’s fucking awful.

    Who knows maybe I’ll throw my hat into the X-Factor ring. If I’m crap enough I’m sure to make it big!

    • Make sure you have a good sob story RWAC, granny with cancer, child with a serious illness usually gets Amanda Holden a bit weepy.

    • Can’t say I’ve watched an X factor recently but had the misfortune to visit a relative who had Kiss fm on all day. Now I’m not so much of a cunt that I won’t give any music a chance but fucking hell the standard of music is absolutely dire no wonder the average teen is a brain dead cunt.
      They need to listen to some of this. One of the great unsung acts of the 70s Be Bop Deluxe
      Also I think all fellow counters should petition the ABBC to bring back The old grey whistle test.

      • Be Bop Deluxe. Now your talking. Add in Dr Feelgood, the Blockheads, Nick Lowe. Proper pub rock.

  24. I want to give Gyppos, Pikeys or whatever you want to call the dirty bottom feeders a good cunting.
    After sitting in the pub watching some gyppo make a complete arse of himself for a good few hours, I remembered that I never come across one that wasn’t a smelly, unwashed, loudmouth, thieving, ridiculously dressed arsehole that wants to fight everyone for no apparent reason.
    Every single one of them bangs on about how they are a traveller, as if its something to be proud of and as though there is some kind of precious code attached to being one. Parenting isn’t high on their list of priorities, because all pikey kids are feral little rats that grow up into adult feral rats.
    They think nothing of wheeling their stinking, piss stained rustbuckets onto someone’s private land, completely trashing the place then pissing off into the distance without a care in the world.
    They all think they’re hard cunts, and that being a scumbag gypsy automatically makes you well ‘ard. Their days consist of stealing, getting pissed and then battling whoever is nearby, quite often their own friends and family too and when someone dishes out a bit of public service and kicks the face off one of the cunts, about 8000 of the pussies turn up to exact revenge.
    As much as I hate peacefuls and just about anyone affiliated with any sort of religion, I do reserve a special kind of hatred for these complete oxygen thieves who as far as I can tell, are about as pointless and vile a group of people as I can think of. You only have to look at Tyson Fury to see my point, a fuck ugly fat blag artist who likes to refer to himself as the ‘Gypsy King.’ Guy makes my skin crawl.
    If North Korea wants to put one of their shiny new missiles to good use, the caravan park down the road from me would be a good place to start.

    • Although most gyppo pikey tax avoiding scum cunts have got better motors than any of us tax paying citizens. Well the euroscum ones round bognor have.

    • He keeps mouthing off about fighting Anthony Joshua??
      The self proclaimed gypsy king got fucking decked by cruiser weight Steve Cunningham, luckily saved by the bell …
      His fight with klitschgo was a joke!! He ran around and never got involved !!, hardly warrior gypsy king behaviour? I seriously hope he steps into the ring with AJ !! A fight he described as ” easy”?. AJ is quick fisted and hits like a freight train!!! , he also got heavily decked by a real heavyweight and got up to win the fight!! ….. I would actually pay to see that fight!! £££.s 😎

    • If ever there was a case for ethnic cleansing those dirty gyppo cunts are it

      If you want a good laugh go check the barmy cunts calling each other out on youtube, fucking hilarious

  25. Personally speaking i thought id seen the biggest cunt ever in piers morgan but i have to agree blair is CUNT of gargantuan humongous proportions

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