Insurance Companies

A cunting for the supine insurance companies who have acquiesced in scams because it’s easier to pay up and bung the costs on all of their customers premiums than to fight them.

What they should do is:

Prosecute anyone they can prove has filed a false claim. Ensure the case is reported in the national press.

Report any solicitor involved in soliciting such claims to the law society, with a recommendation that they be struck off

Stop paying compensation in cash. If the claim is for whiplash, pay in non-transferrable and time-limited vouchers for physiotherapy.

Have nothing to do with the parasitical “claims management industry”

All pretty simple. Why doesn’t this happen?

I wonder what is the cost to the economy of all of this villainy, including claims for mis-selling of financial products?

If you have an accident you should have been more careful. Take some fucking responsibility.

Compensation should be to rectify damage, not to provide a nice family holiday

Fraud is not a victimless crime

If you’ve ever bought PPI you are a credulous cunt and deserve to have been fleeced.

Nominated by Harry Axwound.

The above was about how they should handle compensation claims. What about premiums in general? Claim handling? Wriggling out of paying? Advertising? Insurance horror stories – home, car, health, life?

 

63 thoughts on “Insurance Companies

  1. Insurance? What a cunt.
    On my way to Prague with no insurance. If I break my leg I’ll pretend to be a refugee from Cuntagola I’ll get a private suite in the best hospital in Prague and a nice blonde to suck my Dick. You see cunters you have to make the most of any predicament.

  2. Bloody hell plane ain’t taken off yet and I’m pissed. Good old Pyrat Rum duty free, if the Pilot is reading this I know naffink abaaaaaht it.

    • Maybe you are the pilot today B&W C ?

      Cryin’ Air are due to launch F.I.Y (fly it yourself) where you put your boarding pass into a raffle / tombola drum at the plane door manned by the airline crumpet, once every cunt is on board the draw takes place to select who’s up front at the controls.

      Staffing problem is solved!

  3. The ambulance chasers get me. ‘Had an accident? Tripped on your way to the dole? Burnt toast in hospital? Talk to us. We are a bunch of venal, pointless cunts who will make money from all the other insurance payers, councils (ie us) NHS (us again) government(guess who?) etc
    The whole legal industry is a scam making money from nothing useful.
    And B&W cunt. You have had enough. Save yourself for the fantastic beer.

  4. The best ever Insurance company used to be the Co-op. My mum had a “penny policy” dated March 1949. It was “paid up” at a value of £34,3s 4p. ( old money )
    Mum died last year in September. The policy paid out £4212.00.

    Sadly the old days have gone, and Insurance companies are simply cash generators for the investors to continue sipping their drinks whilst lazing in the sun in some fucking paradise somewhere, and rudely interrupted of course by the inconvenience of a dividend cheque arriving.

    The worst offender must be the cunts at Aviva, who in 2003 fucked me over with their pension product. It is now 2017, and I have quit my 14 yr suite against them as its going no where . As for the cunting ombudsman! Now there’s a mob of feckless arseholes. Useless wankers.

    • Thinking of going down the LEGAL route AND have a GENERAL feeling I am going to be going down a similar path with my provider as dissatisfied and response to my written complaint nonexistent.

      • Check with legal beagles on line. Its free and they are fucking good. Far better than the useless cunt of a solicitor I employed. Just google them, they are volunteers and some are actually legally qualified.

        • Cheers for that,

          I need to track down all my paperwork to work out what the company is to blame for and what the advisor (who claimed to be independent and I discovered was one of their agents though kooks like he’s been axed from them) is responsible for. Both slimey cunts anyway.

    • I believe the insurance business is an organised crime business, same as car parks. Make money for doing nothing.
      The insurance business was the root cause of the last financial collapse involving the insurance of mortgage backed bonds. Only problem was the insurance companies had no money to pay up when things went bad. The MSM fed the morons ‘the bankers and their bonuses’ were at fault. That was simple enough for thicko consumption. Insurance markets have minimal regulation and capital requirements compared to banks. I wonder why……

  5. It seems a “German man” has been arrested in Gotthenberg attempting to board a plane with explosives. They emphasize that he is “German” GERMAN!

    He looks exotically suntanned and has obviously spent some time in the local tanning booths that you find in airports these days.

    Swedish Police have not released his name, as they are still working out how to spell it.

    The “German” is in his late 20,s and was wearing European style clothing including denims, which smelled of camel shite.

    We will be informed of course should there be any further developments.

    In the meantime , Swedish Police ask us not to speculate any further.

  6. Why we should support the Catalans in their attempt to fuck Madrid. I give you cunt Verhofstadt’s latest dictum orn the matter:

    “There is a solution for the situation in Catalonia: reform Spain into a federal state in a federal Europe.”

    • Yeah run by those cunts.

      Looks like we’re getting close to being overdue to another European armed conflict except it’ll hopefully be the free states of Europe Vs the EU and their toadies.

      If we turn Brussels into a derelict, barren wasteland then maybe we can persuade the “peacefuls” to move there afterwards – I mean it’ll be like home from home to those cunts.

      And then maybe they’d stop trying to turn this country into one! Cunts!

  7. On the insurance matter, don’t forget that the governments insurance tax premium. The more the insurers screw you, the more they get out of you too!

    They are in this together in many cuntish respects unknown to many for example;

    A man gets rear ended in a car crash through no fault of his own and ends up off work through injuries, loses his job and ends up on benefits. After months of pain, surgery and Physio the man gets financial compensation. I have on good authority any benefits paid out by the DWP to the victim has been deducted from the victims compensation and repaid automatically to DWP. The DWP are also told of victims compen so that they can further penalise the victim by cutting their benefits / sanction due to cash awarded and the HMRC come knocking for their share too.

    Yet when people lose their job and end up on benefits, they don’t have to pay any benefits back when they get another job do they?

    Passing costs of non fault claims onto victims next years premiums instead of getting the sums from the other parties insurer also high on the cuntometer.

    Cunts claim their “statistics” tell them victims of non fault accidents are more likely to be involved in future accidents and therefore a risk?

    My statistics tell me they are lying cunts as none have provided me with a copy of their statistics when requested?

    They are correct in my case as I seem to be unable to go for more than four years without another cunt ramming into my car. I had three in three years where my car was hit while parked / locked up outside the kids school, the newsagents and supermarket. I haven’t ever had an accident through fault of my own but always have one of these dittery cunts bugger me from being able to declare being accident free in the last four years.

    No matter what, these cunts always win just like the fucking bookies. I don’t believe drivers win at cuntfused dot cum either, these cum-parison sites are in cahoots with the insurers too.

    Many of the insurers that come up on these cumparison sites are just multi ID companies all hiding up the arse of a “high ranking sailor” or a “bulldog” offering identical cover at vastly different prices.

    Cunts? Oh yes!

    • Exactly right RWAC,
      All these major insurance companies and their ‘subsidiaries’ is a smokescreen and a tax right off. The cunts.

  8. I had an accident a few years ago. Totally my fault, I reversed into a car I didn’t see. I was going about 3 miles per hour. The whiplash claim was £5,000. I was pleading with the insurance company that it was bollocks but they just blindly paid. Whiplash payments alone are 45% of our fucking GDP.

    • Whiplash hotspots according to recent findings include, Bradford, Blackburn, Oldham, Birmingham and various London postcodes. No coincidence all these have large peaceful populations.

      • Not to mention lots of Nissan Sunny’s, Bluebirds and Toyota Corolla’s. I couldn’t believe how many have survived and made it to these end of life retirement homes.

        No cunt with a sense of smell will want them now anyway.

      • All this talk of whiplash got me well worked up till my good friend pointed out that the comment to which I am responding was about whiplash caused by a car accident not whiplash caused by a Sjambok. Got confused thought someone had slipped the Cape Flats in as a hotspot.

  9. Liam,Liam,Liam,Liam Gallagher’s new album “As You Were” on sale now.
    Go on cunters, buy cunter music made by cunters for cunters.

    Liam,Liam,Liam,Liam. 🙂

    (I don’t get my copy till next Friday, and that is a cunt)

  10. Years ago mate got his face fucked in a fight. Really nasty stuff.
    He went to the council to say he tripped over a paving slab and gave me £500 to be his witness.
    Fuck knows how he got away with it as half his face was hanging off due to a broken bottle.
    That’s all i can add about insurance companies.

  11. We had storm damage a few years ago which ripped off half of a flat roof. External and internal damage, a lot of secondary damage with rain water pissing in ruining the electrics, carpets, ceilings, insulation. The lot.

    The cunts only paid out for 6 months of the rent on the temporary accommodation (despite it saying unlimited on the policy) because that would be a reasonable time to complete the repair. The builder then fucked off a few weeks after being paid to complete the remaining work leaving us to pay. Despite months of wrangling and having to reinstate the central heating system which had been disconnected and was now leaking he promptly went bust leaving us with £3000 unfinished work despite previous promises to complete the work, and leaving us with an additional 6 months rent to pay while it was all being sorted out. Luckily our stuff was in storage and that was handled very well by Brittania (whom I have no complaints about). Esure and their loss adjustors Cunningham Lindsay were a bit feckless and cuntish about the whole thing.

    If it’s not the insurance company that fucks you over, it will be the builders.

    And don’t get me started on the one about the dad that remarried, his wife who died of cancer and Aviva refusing to payout on life insurance. That’s another story.

  12. I’m going for a new Buildings and Contents policy next year. It costs absolutely nothing,and yet provides an open-ended cheque for any load of bollocks that I care to claim I had stashed in my government-sponsored crime-den.
    It’s called a Greenfell Tower policy.

    • I’ve heard about that policy too, it covers first class air fares for your extended family / friendship to visit GB every year till the earth explodes to mark the event in London and complimentary benefits from DWP during your stay.

      Covers things like;

      Problems resulting from you having to wire your fridge to an unmetered external electricity source.

      Accidents involving disposable BBQ indoors (Note: Only applicable where cooking over a real living flame is part of your religion but electricity is OK for the fridge & TV of course)

      For example, loss as a result of putting said lit BBQ into fridge to stop food burning too fast giving you time to nip down stairs to your car to get the sachets of ketchup you “picked up” and put in glovebox while out Ubering about and you aren’t quick enough.

      Best of all it allows you to stay in a hotel free of charges with housing benefit unaffected until your burnt house is demolished and fully rebuilt to highest possible standards allowing you to walk right back in where you left off.

      Doesn’t provide legal assistance to pursue a large world charity to get share of the 18 million plus (increasing as donations continue to sell) that they have successfully slipped off with during the mayhem.

      Brilliant otherwise though!

      • I saw that policy advertised.

        They were doing a Ramadamadingalong special. Automatically covers you and upto 5 wives and 10 children. Plus a 25 percent discount for additional friends and family living at the same address.

  13. I see that fucking perverted old Cunt,the Pope,is giving his views on Pornography. I didn’t bother to read it,but I assume that his subscription to Choirboys Do The Vatican must have been cancelled.
    What gives that kiddy-diddller protecting charlatan the right to say fucking anything?The old bastard should be put up against a wall and shot. Let his intolerant,vicious god judge him. If he interfers with my porn,the old bastard’ll be in the Pits Of Hell getting porked by the Devil a lot sooner than he imagined. Nobody interfers with my Pornhub.
    Fuck him.

    • Pornhub takes too long and doesn’t have highlights to show whats happening. When i want my scene, i want it NOW!

      XVideos doesn’t download anymore with joining.

      XHamster only allow me to download certain clips but not the ones i really want.

      Sextv has clips that have half the screen cut out.

      Spankbang sends me a virus warning on the clips i really want.

      Times are tough and i thank the teapot in the sky for the DVD collection i amassed before online porn became the new thing.

      • People don’t appreciate just how hard life can be for us Wankers,Birdman. Perhaps the government should class us as Self-Abusers with Special Needs and provide free super-fast broadband. It’s not like we want costly sex changes or anything..just fast,free,fucking films. It’s our rights,we’re entitled.

        • They bailed out the bankers, time to bail out the wankers.

          Your post may or may not have been in jest, but you’re right, Dick Fiddler.
          Nobody seems to care about our needs and then we have a fuckin pope telling is off? Fascist racist wankaphobic cunts.

          About time we added a “W” to that LNSG2DQ9O shite.

          #jusuiswank

          • Perhaps a fund raising record…. “All We Are Saying Is Give Wankers A Hand”….Bono and Geldof,as two of the biggest wankers in the world are sure to want to get involved.

          • If there’s such a thing as the “LGBBQFBIKFC community”, does that mean we’re all in the “straight/normal community”

            I’ve never heard of the straight/normal community, but its about time we did.
            With all these rights being thrown at anycunt with a squabble, let’s twist their already fucked up melons by demanding shite.

            Straight toilets
            Straight pubs and clubs
            Straight telly scheduling
            Straight pride marches
            Straight history taught at schools

            They’ll have to play along, shoorley.

            I want to reclaim the Wizard of Oz.
            How dare they cunts claim a kids/family filum made around 1936 to be a gay filum?

            I love the Wizard of Oz and they cunts can keep their KY jelly stained hands off it.

          • Too right, The Wizard of Oz is ours, a constitutional right and its one of the few things that gets me through the Christmas period.

            Next thing ISIS will be claiming Dorothy had a bomb in her basket, the wicked witch was her handler and had forgotten to wear her niquab on the day of filming and the story is really all about an IS terror mission that although survived the tornado created by the HAARP it failed miserably when the basket failed to go bang!

            The Wiz is a cunt though like most things linked to Wacko Jacko.

      • If imagefap goes the same way its gonna get really boring going to faketaxi and fakedrivinginstructor

        Porn web access will be eradicated before the sites you can learn to make carnage inflicting devices.

  14. I don’t know why these wagon-drivers stop and let the illegal stowaways out when they hear them knocking. I wouldn’t. I’d superglue the locks,drive to an abandoned warehouse,back the trailer doors tight up to a wall,unhitch and fuck off.

  15. now here’s a first class cunt. an IMAM has been found guilty of trying to radicalise two PRIMARY school boys. he showed them beheading videos and told them anyone criticising Islam deserves to die. these people are fuckin demented.

    • And I bet the cunt doesn’t do one day in clink.

      If I was to say: “We should round up those 3,000 radical cunts that the security services know about and eject them or stuff them in solitary clink!”

      I’d expect to be tazered and frog-marched to the nearest Judge and sentenced for “racial” (it’s a religion you CUNTS!) incitement.

      Not your “peacefuls” though, they get away scott free as their hatred is deemed to be a bit of hijinks, didn’t really mean it, yadda yadda yadda, bullshit courtesy of the Sadiq Khan school of rebranding atrocity.

      They’re all cunts and yet not one fucking cunt from Westminster to the meejah to the glitterati will dare admit that the world has a “M….. .oblem!”

      Well I hope they all feel great about themselves as they’re beheaded (for the chaps a’la your Linekunts) and stoned (for your Adelekunts).

      —-

      Q. What’s the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?

      A. At some point the vampire will stop being bloodthirsty.

      • Also

        Q. What’s the difference between a Muslim and a vampire?

        A. You are safe from the vampire once the sun comes up.

        A2. The vampire isn’t a smelly cunt.

        A3. The vampire knows when its time to shut the fuck up and get back in his box.

        A4. The vampire doesn’t try and hide the fact he is an evil cunt.

        A5. The vampire hasn’t taken the cunt out of the British government.

        Anyone for anymore?

  16. Made a claim for a hoise fire a few years back. Went oit orn the piss and came back to find the hoise totalled and a note from the fire brigade informing me they had “attended a fire at the property and this is your incident reference number……”.
    Found the electrics and the water turned orf and everything coated in a noxious sticky brown film (anything plastic – bath, sink, paint, wall paper, carpets ect just melts Dresden style).
    Managed to find me insurance company in the phone book and was given an emergency number to ring. Rang it and the bint that eventually answered was drunk so jacked it in for the night and kipped in me barn. Next day at it again from dawn to dusk getting nowhere. Stone walled. Fuck Legal and General. Next day got me card marked at the pub. “Get yourself a claims manager, only way to get things done old son. Your insurance company will pay. I just happen to have this chap’s card in me pocket.”
    So I got meself a claims manager and wheels started rolling. He talked to the insurance assessor and all went tickety boo. They knew each other and brought in an “accredited builder” who was on the insurance company’s “approved” list. Way it works – the claims manager takes a bung from me and the builder and the insurance company pays the inflated claim plus a percentage to the claims manager and builder. The insurance assessor takes a bung from the builder and the claims manager. End result the insurance company pays out at least double for the claim but nobody gives a toss because in the end it is all loaded on to the punter paying the premium.
    At the end orf the day the claims manager turns to me and says “That went quite well I think (we were all on first name terms by then) and if you bring me any more new business you’ll be on ten percent.”
    Bugger me, a world orf brown envelopes, cash bungs and inflated cuts orf the top. Makes football management look honest.

    • Sorry to laugh Sir Limply Stoke, but you coming home to a note stuck on ashes had me pissing my self.

      Years ago, the flat above me caught fire and my flat got ruined with the water damage.
      I had the firemen and the polis in my bedroom assessing if i should stay or leave for a few days.
      They told me to leave, but right above us on top of my wardrobe, i had a nine bar of hash. We all stood looking at each other until i thought “fuck it” and grabbed the nine bar and put it iny pocket.
      The polis must have taken pity on me and my new indoor pool and said nothing.

      Come to think of it that cunt upstairs wasn’t insured and i was left with a trainspotting flat.

  17. “George Osborne says he was left ‘shocked and stunned’ at almost falling prey to a gang of hammer-wielding moped robbers behind 100 raids in London.”

    I wish that they’d smashed the little spunk-rag’s head in.

    • I’d love to see him chained to the back of a fast moped and dragged round the streets of London until only his ankles and shoes were left remaining attached to the chain.

      Racing another moped with Sadkhuntkhan attached would be more entertainment value.

      Could easily end up turning into Londonistan Moped Prixcks with some other entrants.

      Victims of the moped thieves could be the moped riders getting a chance to dish out some justice to those allowing the thieving scum to operate freely.

  18. Travel insurance isn’t worth a wank. When I tried to claim for incidental expenses (airport parking and hotels) when there was that spot of trouble in the Gambia back at the start of the year, they wrote me a long letter telling me why I wasn’t covered (foreign invasion) so I wrote and told them there hadn’t been a foreign invasion so think again.

    They did. They came back and told me I wasn’t covered because of ‘political instability’

    Not worth the paper it’s written on. I take the minimal cover except for medical expenses and even then they hike the premium because of high cholesterol, ignoring the fact I don’t have high cholesterol because I take drugs to keep it low.

    I told Mrs D that if I die overseas, she’s to get me cremated and bring the ashes home because you can bet the cunts will find a reason why I’m not covered for repatriating the body. Probably claim a pre-existing medical condition – like breathing air.

    Bunch of worthless shysters the fucking lot of them…

  19. Good cunting. Insurance companies today are nothing but fucking thieves and pirates. I recently had to renew my car insurance. I was with Esure, and last time it was £800 on a 16v Golf GTI. Despite having ten years no claims, this year they want £1400. I told them to shove it and phoned around. I eventually went fully comp with Admiral. It’s £1100, which is still a rip off, but at least I saved £300.

    I can remember a time when premiums went down when you were a decent driver. These days, insurance don’t give a fuck. They take advantage of the fact we’re required by law to have car insurance to fuck us over. They could at least have the decency to send a fit lass round to soften the hit by giving me a blowjob. Mind you, the wife’s still happy to do that.

  20. Never taken out ANY insurance of any kind – home, life, death, Dixon’s wog box. Fuck all. Saved a bomb. Don’t drive either so no rip-off car insurance. Always known it was a racket, they’re all at it too – even the fucking vet!

    Cuntishness in Excelsis.

  21. Told I have no option but to do 12 hour shits xmas day boxing day and new years eve.Plus I have to a course in November which if I pass means I will likely have a much worse department to work in by then.So close to giving it up.Especially seeing as the cunts I would be working with at.Xmas are worse objectively than 75% of the names featured on this site (no exaggeration either sadly).Cant say what the job is but it is very unpleasant and regularly makes me feel sick.I know being an adult was shite but this is a level of shite I could never have. anticipated.Got flippantly warned of the sack earlier and could not have given less of a fuck.

    • Fuck me,Shaun…you make it sound like you’re a gigolo in an old people’s home.
      But seriously, although you can’t stick forever with a job that ,you hate,better to get paid at your existing job, while you look for something better, than having nothing.

  22. Would give more hints but cant.Suffice to say Xmas dinner at work would be something I would d sish on any of you cunts.Think of the people you would least want to have xmas dinner with and you are in the ball park.That is my reality.Drug use has never looked so appealing.

  23. Hillary Clinton’s supporters have proved to be in need of a cunting this week. After that evil piece of shit murdered 58 innocent people in Vegas, Clinton’s lefty disciples took to the interweb to voice their approval of the killings. Pathetically, their only reason for being so overjoyed over these murders, is that they were Country music fans. That of course meant that they were all white people who loved guns and Donald Trump.

    They didn’t know that for sure of course, it’s just the kind of twisted logic that these inbred, nasty, cum drinking cunt dribbles work from. The sheer joy that some of these scum have been expressing has been truly despicable. It’s even worse than the reaction from lefty scum here in the UK after news broke of Margaret Thatcher’s death.

    It’s no secret that I hate lefties, and this is one of the reasons why. They are just such inhuman trash.

    • Its disgusting how many lefties and Trump haters were rejoicing on twitter and facebook that it was white rednecks that got massacred, sick people!. You know they mostly justify it because hilary lost or the puerto rico shitshow with Trump doing abunch of wacky shit if you are wondering Trump used a terrible Spanish accent to pronounce ‘Puerto Rico’ and threw paper towels at hurricane survivors lol yeah I know haha

  24. I want to nominate the human race for a cunting, or ninety five per cent of them anyway, there are a few nice genuine people in existence but they’re a tiny minority. Humans are the most revolting worthless species ever to develop on this planet. Animals are far superior and know how to co-exist, they’re content as long as they’ve got a full stomach and they have a lot more sense. Take something like a wildebeest, it gets born on the African plains and it has about an hour to get up and follow its mother otherwise it’s dead meat. Compare that with teenagers who run straight out of the school gates into the traffic. Fifteen years on the planet and they haven’t got the brains of a gnat. Treat an animal right and it will love you, treat a person right and they’ll likely kick you up the backside. The law of nature used to be the survival of the fittest. That doesn’t apply to humans any more. The ones with intelligence have careers and the ones who don’t stay on council estates, living on benefits that others provide and breeding more fucking idiots who grow up and do the same. The human race should be exterminated like parasites before they develop space travel and get the chance to infect other planets. They’re a motley collection of lying, cheating, thoughtless, arrogant, thieving, two-faced, selfish, offensive, bloody fucking arseholes.

    Ah. I feel better now.

    • Don’t worry Allan, Niribu will kill us all soon anyway. The universe has to purge itself from the earth. It is filled with too much autism, STDS, trannies, islamic nonsense, lamestream media, shitty tv shows, cultural marxism and constant infighting between countries couldn’t be contained any longer So now we all have to die because our world leaders have gone crazy and have decided to embrace trannies and islam What a world

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