Women’s Football


Womens football needs a cunting because frankly, who gives a flying fuck?

If you’ve read any of my previous posts you’ll know I have no time for football, its stars or its fucking fans. For me it’s just bread and circuses to keep an ignorant burger munching society in line so they don’t notice that the masses exist to serve the few. So that’s regular football for me, I would rather play with dog turds.

But Womens football? What the fuck is the point? If grown men kicking a ball around bores me to fucking tears then this is like counting hairs on a pigs scrotum while watching a dog scarf out its own anus.

Then there’s all the feminist crapola that goes with it. I heard yesterday on the BBC some stocky looking old growler saying that womens football needs a woman manager. You know what you old biffer? nobody gives a fuck. And the “home” of womens football? the fucking BBC of course.

If it was topless I would be interested but only if they got a new squad, most of them look like they’ve been round the block a few times.

What next? Peaceful womens football? I would love to see two teams of walking black postboxes having a kick around but how would they see the goal? probably use an infidel’s head as a ball too.

In short, womens football…go suck a dick and fuck off while you’re doing it.

Nominated by Spanky Mc Spank

76 thoughts on “Women’s Football

    • Great stuff, CMC… Similar to how can Plug from the Bash Street Kids look-alike, Romeo Beckham, be a model?… Because of celebrity mater and pater… They all do it… Stella Macca went into ‘fashion designing’ because she was too horrible for modelling, and she now claims that she ‘made it’ under an assumed name and nobdody knew she was Beatle offspring (ye-ah right!)… Julian and Sean try to emulate their old man with their ‘music’ careers (cough!), all Jagger’s many daughters are models and Little Jimmy Jagger is an ‘actor’ (guffaw!), and ubercunt Bonio’s daughter is now a model and an ‘actress’… Buggered if I know anything she’s been in though… If she’s got Bonio’s gob and Mrs Bonio’s (lack of) looks then the kid is in trouble…

      Zak Starkey is a good drummer, mind….

    • Totally agree, women’s football, couldn’t give a fuck.
      However, think this is on a par with the Scottish Premiership which only has 12 teams in it.

      Why the fuck would any football fan south of the border give a flying fuck (to quote Spanky Mc Spank) about what happens up in the land of male skirt wearers?

  1. Spot on cunting Spanky, I loathe football culture to. But when I see a gang of Bull Dykes looking all awkward and gangly trying to kick a ball in a net quite frankly I find it ridiculous.
    Now if they were trying to run round the pitch in suspenders high heels and stockings as you suggested Spanky like a Benny Hill Sketch with Benny Hill and the little slap head bald bloke in hot pursuit then yes I would watch it with keen interest.

  2. You could expand the cunting to any woman’s sport at all. There is no woman’s sport worth watching, and it’s especially a real cluster fuck having equality of pay in tennis. Fucking ridiculous. If they split Wimbledon into a mens tournament and a woman’s, I think we know which one would sell out.

  3. There is only one womens sport worth watching, and that was the Olympic Hockey Team at the Rio games. Fuckable!….very fuckable!

    • I have to agree, I find women playing Hockey and the kit they they wear proper sexy. Even the munters look worthy of a rooting.

  4. A mate of mine supports (stalks) a women’s football team. Apart from that he’s relatively kosher, I think.

    I also know a woman who played professional rugby! Ended up damaging her knees, silly bint.

  5. I can honestly say I’ve never watched a game of women’s football.

    Please don’t take that as sexist because I haven’t watched a game of football in years anyway.

    However I could be persuaded if they still swap shirts at the end?

  6. I quite enjoyed the Women World Cup that was on a few months ago. Fair enough women’s football isn’t as skillful as the men’s game,but at least there seemed to be far less of the cynicism and self-interest, too. Hell,some of them actually seemed proud to play for their country,and prepared to give their best for the team. It actually looked like they gave a shit when they got knocked out which is a hell of a lot more than you can say about the England men’s football team when they inevitably fail to deliver.
    I’m not saying that I’d pay to watch women’s football,but I have more respect for the women than I do for those overpaid wankers who play men’s professional football.
    Fuck them.

  7. Women’s sports???
    Making the tea
    Doing the shopping
    Driving their men home from the pub
    Cooking
    Vacuuming
    Etc etc etc
    Ps I’m joking!! But only about the cooking as my wife’s utterly fucking hopeless!! 😂😂

    • May has never done anything of note, and everything she does touch turns to shit. Andrea Leadsom would have been an inspired choice of leader by comparison. And a proper Brexiteer too, of course. Scuppered her chances by mentioning childbirth or some other triviality that frightened the Tory horses.

      Same as when David Davis ran against Cameron in the Tory leadership election 2005. Who did the Tories go for? The wrong one.

      (Davis would also have promised a referendum).

    • Brexit is in need of its very own cunting becuase the whole thing is a just a steaming pile of goats shit.

      We have a prime minister who has 0.0% credibilty and has made one shit decision after another. We have uppity unelected European cunts taking the piss out of us.

      We have swarms of eastern europeans taking all they can get and giving fuck all back except crime, more crime and dangerous driving.

      Nobody in the government seems to have a clue and now we have some kind of “transition” so more white trash from the Baltic can swarm in.

      Public services are at breaking point, the roads are clogged with dangerous foreign drivers in old knackerd cars, the police and other authorities hands are tied due to political corectness.

      Who is going to sort this cluster fuck out? T May? that’s a fucking joke. She’s dead in the water, the people round her are like squabbling teenagers and the whole thing smells of anal discharge. She looks like a turd someone has buried and then someone else has decided to dig it back up.

      Never has there been a better time for a strong leader to take charge and do the right thing…will it happen? will it fuck.

  8. On a good day, average attendance at these oxymoronic virtue fests is about 2000 (apparently). Take away close friends,family, staff, professionally forced (al-BBC journo’s, other sports reporting establishments) who are all there on free tickets – natural attendance at these games is about that of an average car boot sale. Says it all really. Don’t really care for the beautiful game myself (just for betting purposes) but I watched one once and the quality was below that of middle aged, beer bellied pub team after a night on the doombar and plate of industrial colon loosener down at akbars. I just hope we aren’t paying for it.

  9. Women’s sport is of no interest to most men but the BBC have no fucking sport left so they get the dregs that no cunt wants to watch. The aggravating thing is the way they omit any mention of women from the sub headline so you get say “England beat India by an innngs ‘ and no mention until the text that it’s tarts fucking about.
    Women’s football is on a level with schoolboy soccer, just not worth bothering with unless your wife ,slag, kid is playing.
    It’s not sport , just sodding about.

    • You are so right about the tv listing. Many a time I’ve gone to watch cricket or such and it’s fucking women. If it’s women then fucking well say it.

  10. I would like to nominate ZOMBIE BREXIT and the so called BREXIT ‘DIVORCE’ bill.

    May has made the UK a laughing stock all over the world. She and her cabinet colleagues (with the possible exception of David Davis) are nothing more than an embarrassing bunch of remainer 5th columnist cunts. Who’d take us seriously now negotiating trade deals, etc?

    Along with the EU fawning media and its leftard commentators asserting the UK is obliged to pay a ‘Divorce Bill’, they are selling us down the river, with drip drip estimates ranging from €36billion to €100billion.

    But where on earth did this absurd notion of a divorce bill come from?

    It beggars belief that the UK taxpayer, having poured £10s of billions net into the EU over the last 40 years, should now be expected to pay anything at all on leaving!
    5th columnist EU supporting Financial Times reckon €100bn would be about right. Really? 10 years net membership fees upfront for fuck all?

    Besides, the EU accounts have not been audited and signed off by a recognised accounting firm for years. If anything, the UK is probably due a sizeable reimbursement! What about the considerable UK stakes in EU assets (property and other profligate investments) not taken into account?

    And why do they call it a divorce? Most divorces (apart from those involving Peacefuls and Morons) do not consist of 1 versus 27. It’s more akin to leaving a club. But what sort of club charges a member (who has paid heavy net membership fees for next to nothing in return) a fortune to leave said club? If anything UK should be due a refund. Unfortunately it seems a sizeable proportion of the electorate has been brainwashed by everyone from T. Bliar to Lord Haw Haw, aka James O’Brian, into accepting the opposite!

    Our Establishment and negotiators are still overwhelmingly Remain, soft as shite, and totally lacking balls and experience. Cunts all, pure and simple.

    • In a divorce settlement the assets are shared between the parties. That’s not what is being demanded here. It’s a shit analogy designed to muddy the waters and portray the demand as reasonable. Also when you get a bill it comes with an invoice which details what goods and services you paid for. Now where the fuck is our invoice?

  11. UK mardarses are cunts…
    There are loads of them, but I refer to a recent and specific case.. Some daft cow when told that a size 18 top was a ‘Plus Size’ by Top Shop staff took extreme offence and then blabbed and blubbered all over Facefook and Twatter about being ‘violated’ (that old classic) and (drum roll) ‘shamed’… Now I doubt the shop staff in question meant any offence in the first place, but even if someone does give you any sort of stick, you give as good as you get and move on… That is (at least it was) the British way… But now these sensitive snowflake softarsed cunts go grassing on social media…. Fucking hell, it’s like a four year old singing ‘Going to tell tea-cher!’… And it’s usually – 99% – over nothing…. My granddad fought the Japs in WWII and was also a POW of the bastards and he hardly ever mentioned it… But some cunt gets told a dress size is a + or called ‘ginger’ and they have a meltdown… They’re a disgrace to Great Britain… Cunts…

    • People are so sensitive over their appearance. Some people just have to realise that we cant all look like Lennon Gallagher.

      • And if the mardarsed cunt is so sensitive about being a Size 18, she should lay off the Ben and Jerrys and KFC, the fat snowflake cow…

        I went out with a so-called ‘+ size’ a few years ago… Well, she was a Size 16… Still the best pair of tits I ever copped a hold of… Superb stuff….

      • The so-called ‘Gooners’ or ‘Ver Harsenal’: the biggest weapons grade fancunts in the Post Premiership game…
        Apart from those ‘Zany’ Manchester ‘Citeh’ fans, of course….

        • Arsenal fans are cunts and Arsenal are cunts for selling us ‘The Ox’, why the fuck we bought him instead of 1 decent centre back is beyond me.

          • Yous bought him coz he’s English.
            English= superstar to clubs and media, but to most fans it means he can play a bit.

            Name one English player that has “fulfilled his potential” in the last twenty years.

            Remember when Walcott was taken to the world cup all them years ago to help him learn how to deal with tournament football even though everycunt knew he wasn’t getting a game.
            Some adult player lost his place due to Walcott’s “potential”, and after all these years all we have learned is that Walcott can run. Wow.

            Clubs and the media bum these cunts up but yet still not one has got anywhere near world class.

          • Too true Birdman, if you’re English it’s like they add an extra 20million to what you are worth.
            Rooney is the best example of an overrated cunt who can only score in friendlies and is useless at the highest level.

  12. Before the advent of social media moaning lard arse Cunts could only bleat to their lard arse cunt friends, now they have a platform ( reinforced) to bleat and cry to the world!
    If they spent less time moping around on SM and more time exercising we wouldn’t be suffering this torrent of self pitying bollocks!!!

  13. For the sake of diversity, I wonder if these wimmins teams are going to let a few transbenders join the squad. It would make the game a little bit more interesting to watch with the prospect of someone with rock hard plastic tits and 72 stitches up his ballsack screams in with a two footed tackle, studs up. Also ends up winning the game 20-0.

  14. I would like, no need to nominate old people for a cunting for the following reasons:

    1/ They wobble along the pavement and when you try to walk past from behind they suddenly wobble that way blocking your progress EVERY time.

    2/ They always say ” You’ll have to stop mumbling and speak up” when everyone else can hear you. Stupid deaf old cunts just won’t wear their hearing aids.

    3/ They are a drain on the NHS. I don’t want to hear about how much tax they’ve paid in their far too long lifetime either. They’re going on longer and fucking longer because the NHS keeps patching them up. They’re blocking up waiting lists.

    4/ They insist on driving far too long….a danger to everyone. Stupid old cunts. There’s a minimum age for driving with good reasons, there should be a maximum one too. 70 would do.

    5/ They smell of piss and biscuits.

    Before anyone asks, I’m in my 50’s.

    In

    • Spot on IA ……
      old people have been getting away with it for far too long……The facts are…….
      old people are annoying!
      Very old people are very annoying
      And very very old people are usually dead ( annoying)……..😂

  15. I used to play, but never came across a football match between women. I can only assume that if it is becoming more popular it is because the bints have realised that men like to look at young women in minimal clothing. This is the only reason anyone watches women’s tennis. Paying women the same money as the men is thus a form of prostitution or perhaps pornography.

    I rather suspect though it is difficult to prove it that women are as useless at politics (indeed at all the things they used to be excluded from) as they are at sport.

  16. I see Staunch remainer Colin Firth has become an Italian Citizen. Good now fuck off and live there, let’s hope this starts a stampede where all the Luvies and lefties renounce their British citizenship and fuck off to euro land and never come back.

    • Italy still allows you to have dual nationality, so I am guessing cuntchops Firth will not be giving up his British passport at all.

      And he married an Italian bird so really all a formality really

    • He’s an “uber” cunt.

      I don’t know what all the fuss is about, and I’ll admit I’m not that clued up as to who and what Uber are. I’ve heard that its useful for revellers who only have to use an app and hey presto, an Uber car arrives. So basically its a taxi for cunts addicted to iphones.
      Just call a cab and get over yerselves, ya doss cunts.
      It even made Spanish news, ffs

  17. I’ll start off by saying that this ISN’T a complaint.
    I’m not having a go at anybody, admins, guardians, faux secret agents, nobody . This is just a request that can be ignored and shouldn’t be treated as an attack or complaint, so please don’t try and make me out to be a cunt, again, but can that “back to top” button be gone?

    Most cunters will use PC’s, but on a phone it gets in the way when typing or correcting mistakes and sends you back to the top.
    Its a pain in the arse.
    When it was first mooted, i never understood why we’d need a button to take us to the top (mama) as we already have one at the foot of the page, and when it arrived, i really never understood why we needed one.
    Again, only a request. I’m NOT complaining.

    Yours, birdman (friend).

  18. I’m going to extend this to a more general ‘women in football’ for a misogynistic cunting. I don’t expect all to agree but it fucks me off in all respects hence my cunt pennyworth.

    My interest in football is minimal, but fucking strewth, the following boils piss supercritical:

    1) Al-BBC’s obsession with equality leading to female pundits on MotD, and a disproportionate number of female football presenters. It’s embarassing watching their acquired faux-knowledge being propped up by ordinarily dumb cunts like Trevor Sinclair and Kevin Kilbane. Fuck right off.

    2) Women who follow men to footie matches in bars/pubs, when they have fuck all interest in the game, know fuck all about it and couldn’t tell Wayne Rooney from Emile Heskey, but desperately need to fucking be there. Either ‘cos they hate the idea of their bloke having a good time without them; or try and be centre of attention with feigned stupidity (“so like, ah, explain offside to me for the fifth time as I push my pasty tits into position?”)

    3) On the other end of the spectrum, bitches who endlessly moan about football but at the same time, love to read the goss about the latest WAG. And that brings me neatly to…

    4) WAGs, and even worse, cunts who aspire to be WAGs. Some of you must have seen that cunt who recently hooked up with potato-headed cunt Rooney; you know the one, the slut with the crazy fucking nose currently whoring herself to every tabloid and not even attempting to be subtle in her efforts to ensnare more prem footballers. And then there is Victoria Beckham. E-cunting-nuff said.

    5) If they want to play football, let them. Just down ram the grossly inferior version down our fucking throats. A few years ago, the US team, one of the best in the world apparently, got mullered something like 8-0 by an under-16 team. Shit crowds and shit pay therefore stand to reason for a standard of football somewhere below the men’s quadriplegic and blind division. So shut the fuck up.

    6) ‘We are equal to men in football’ Really? Not in terms of skill, and not even in terms of terms of mentality – for example, that stupid black bitch recently who got a wee bit offended at some tough talking by her white, male manager. Predictably, a witchhunt followed. Thin fucking skins along with playing the damsel card. You are not fucking equal you cunts.

    Women in football. A massive, gaping cunt.

  19. Anyone seen the dire shit that’s on Jools Holland ?
    Some French snowflakes banging drums. That squeaky voiced cunt is really scraping the barrel .
    And he always has to have some ethnic shit on possibly the Mongolian goat shaggers ensemble. And the little cunt always insists on playing boogie woogie with Katie cuntstall. I would rather watch Top Of The Pops than this shite

  20. Football getting a cunting? Surely the only time people can legitimately cheer and boo people with a learning disability falling over and dribbling………

  21. Have come to the conclusion (on the basis of the photo at the top) that Women’s Football is a freak show. Like paying to gawp at the bearded lady or the midgets at a circus. Or to misquote Dr Johnson: “Sir, woman’s football is like watching a dog walking on its hind legs. It is not well done but you are surprised to find it done at all”.

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