The Daily Mail (2)


It’s September so it’s time to slag off schools who try to enforce uniform rules. Most of the “stories” in the Mail are basically chavvy parents complaining about their precious offspring being forced to obey the same rules as everyone else. I admit that some headteachers can be a bit overzealous but in school the rules are the fucking rules.

The Daily Mail has certain stories it runs at certain times of the year but slagging off schools and teachers is one of their favourites. If there isn’t a way to slag off teachers then run a picture of Diana fucking Spencer. In August, the Mail always runs a story about how exams are too easy and it would better to bring back 1950s-style O-Levels. I predict in late October the Mail will go with tales about health and safety twats stopping a bonfire on Guy Fawkes’ Night and in the run up to Xmas, they will have stories about fuckwitted councils banning trees to avoid upsetting the peacefuls.

I know teachers are not popular with some folks here – mostly because some member of staff gave them a hard time in 1975 (hint: get over it snowflake). But 90%+ of school staff are not the Marxist ideologues of Paul Dacre’s fevered imagination but decent people trying to do a job with little help from the government, the gutter press or fuckwitted parents. The average conversation in a school staffroom is not about how to force your son to wear a fucking dress but about how a couple of little bastards in a class of thirty fucked up a lesson you had spent ages planning.

And remember, 90%+ of kids are well-behaved and do the right thing. It’s just that children are like farts – other people’s disgust you but you quite like your own.

Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt

35 thoughts on “The Daily Mail (2)

  1. If you think about the Mail, Express, Mirror and Sun, what is England’s average IQ? Certainly not 100.

    • Although your meaning is clear, actually the average IQ of a population is always 100. The problem is that 100 today could easily be the same as 75 a few years ago – it’s certainly not been improved by importing lots of village idiots from rural -stans.
      But the average IG in the Maily Fail offices is very low.

  2. The Mail is also reported for transgressions of the Editors Code in respect of the “Truth and Accuracy” clause more than every other national newspaper put together. Every single day, the Mail is stuffed with ‘stories’ which are at best wilful distortions of objective facts and at worst completely, unashamedly fabricated in order to pander to the social and political prejudices of its Editor and readership. And when legal challenges are made to the deliberate libels the paper routinely publishes, where do the Mail’s highly-paid lawyers run off to? Yup, the European Court of Justice – the same Court that the paper habitually derides in its increasingly histrionic and utterly ludicrous editorials. Fucking hypocritical scum.

    Furthermore, executives from the Mail and The Sun control the fake regulator IPSO which explains why the Murdoch and Dacre rags never receive any meaningful censure.

    Excellent cunting, Cunt’s Mate Cunt!

    • You’re absolutely right saying 90% of kids are ok CMC.
      As I’ve stated before, my shop used to be crowded with teenagers at certain times on weekdays and I had very little problem with them.

      It’s a shame adults can’t behave as well….old people in particular. Cunts.

  3. Agreed. Tabloids are moronic, but what choice is there for those who rightfully detest the Guardian? A list would be helpful!

    • Maybe Pravda or Literaturnaia Gaz’eta…

      Skid marks on Bronco are probably more informative than DM…

  4. I like the Daily Mail. It gives me my fix of “cheating wogs,thieving pikeys and insolent foreigners” stories that I need to get my motor running. I enjoy regurgitating their lurid stories about poofs and coons to the “more enlightened” lads who sometimes work with me. Drives them mental.
    I also enjoy Mail Online.

      • I too enjoy the mail on line, especially the comments on stories. Some of my comments have attracted several suspensions and warnings. Currently I am blocked for using and displaying.

        “words and behaviour which we consider offensive and inappropriate comment” blah blah we remind you that such comments are likely to cause offence and that a custodial sentence , blah blah blah. and so on…. Cunts.

  5. I don’t believe that all teachers are the paragons of virtue that CMC would like us to believe. I do hold a hell of grudge against a couple of teachers,and always will. I am no “Snowflake” ,and to suggest that I should just “Get over it” is quite something coming from someone who has no idea of the circumstances.

    • In the years immediately after I left school, two of my old teachers were done for sex with under age female pupils. They were both arrogant pompous cunts, one of whom always proudly wore a Hammer and Sickle badge on his lapel. The other cunt wore mirror sunglasses, drove an all black Capri and thought he was Lewis Collins in “The Professionals”.
      And they both dared to offer the opinion that I would never amount to anything. Maybe I haven’t, but at least I never got banged up as a nonce.
      Cunts…

  6. You have to be a cunt to read any tabloids. And a bigger cunt if you read the Guardian.

  7. The Daily Fail or the Daily Wail, depending on your preference is the paper of choice for wives of Tory voting company Directors. Many love the paper as it appeals to their prejudices.

    Me? I’d wipe my arse on it but don’t like the streaks of newsprint on my bumcheeks.

  8. “Giant immigrant benefit claiming spiders cross the channel and cause global warming for pure white UK citizens. And killed Princess Diana”.

    A real headline from the Mail.

  9. Anythings better than that scum cunt communist rag the Guardian. Took a copy to a meeting with a cropped haired ugly lezza police assistant commisoner a few years ago. If her face had lit up any more it would have blinded Stevie Wonder. In the NHS all the fucking lazy social workers read it in between taking kids of decent parents and not taking kids from nonces.That is when they are not at a conference on being nlack or off sick:CUNTS.

    • Re the number of Dikeys in the Police “Service”, it’s probably easier to point out when they’re straight…

  10. Lately the mainstream media From the BBC to the Times is saying, “Buddhists are terrorists but Muslims are peaceful” anyone still think the left isn’t in complete love with Islam?

  11. The Daily Mail employs a “journalist” called Katie French who is perhaps the biggest cunt (or should that be cuntess) on the planet. A young girl in her mid twenties who pretends she is an expert on politics but knows nothing. To be honest most of these hacks are 100% cunt. Cut through them and you will see cunt written in every slice like a stick of rock!

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