Brighton, East Sussex

Brighton, the Place to Be.

Spotted a number of cunters admitting that they reside within the purlieus of Brighton and thus generating a fools paradise of interest. Allow me to mark some cards. Have had connections in Brighton for many a year. Have seen it evolve from Poof’s Paradise (which it still is me darlings) to a multi-gender-multi-cultural Greens/Labour cesspit. Along the way the classically (allegedly) dodgy council is obsessed with obliterating its delightfully seedy Vicky/Edwardian seaside heritage. After allowing the wonderful West Pier to burn and rot and replacing it with a glass doughnut viewing ring riding up and down on a phallus that grinds to a halt mid air whenever punters are aboard, next move in “regeneration” is stripping out all the remaining genuine heritage. Replacements? Endless booze joints stinking of stale beer and “clubs” thumping out mega loud bass.
The greasers in The Council have trousered a vast quantity of Heritage, Lottery and EU Regeneration cashola. Natural next step? Use that money (though not all of it apparently, allegations of diversions into private slush funds, council bribery and corruption ect ect) to fuck over that for which it was intended ie The Heritage in favour of a weird pastiche of concrete and aluminium (in place of cast iron and brick) reminiscent of Ostend on speed. You can view this EU Remainers paradise from the new Zip Wire dear hearts.

Fancy a walk on the wild side? An evening stroll skipping over spilt booze, used syringes, dosser turds and sharps safes (plastic boxes for used needles cunts) ? Watching a couple of dykes tongue fucking is sure to melt the hardest of hearts. The moon is out, is that a shooting star? (could it be Elizabeth Hurley or one of the slappers from Strictley?) Take a seat in a Magic Booth, one of the few remaining seaside shelters (avoid if possible unless they remind you of home, the ones with dosser cardboard that stinks of human piss and any with blood on the seats) . Your drugs of choice will be brought to you, Also avoid, unless that way inclined, the attentions of the dosser prossies, occasionally genuine refugees but mostly Rumanian skanks. Gotta be hard core to shag one of those. Respect if you can.

So much to do, so much to see. A trip down Marine Drive to watch Dyke Beach Volleyball (avoid needles in the sand) is recommended if the cunter appreciates boy shaped fillies arses (fat arsed variety can’t hack it). Down towards the Marina the discerning cunter may view Pikeys on holiday, caravans nicely parked up in a public car park right on the sea. Heavenly. Opposite on the grass a benefits “refugee” camp of our young male muslim friends . Feeling so loved up now.
Cunters with young children are sure to want to visit and play that old game “Spot a White Face”. Main areas like Western Road and London Road not recommended to avoid disappointment. Frustration and tantrum counseling readily available in Brighton.

Also the Seagulls down here are mugging bastards (and I don’t just mean the football team).

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

117 thoughts on “Brighton, East Sussex

  1. Drug’s is a cunt,
    I must be getting old, the Class A’s aren’t working for me anymore. Lack of sleep, twisted head and all the damage I’m doing to my body is a cunt, let alone the money they cost. Gotta slow down the rocking and rolling, doesn’t help when some of your mates are dealers. It’s Tony Blair’s fault, the cunt.

    • Send yer drugs to birdman, Spain.
      My foot is fucked and I’m out of hash.
      Can’t even get a shoe or flipflop on to get a taxi.
      The irony is i stayed here to look after the dog but can’t even take him out. I crawl up the stairs and he does his business up there on the patio.
      The neighbours will be most pleased.

  2. As the BBC has been cunted regularly and entirely justifiably on ISAC, I shan’t bother with a new cunting. I do wonder though, with the Beeb being anti-English treasonous cunts through and through, just what is their fascination with those utter parasitic cunts, the Royal Family. They can’t get enough of the blue-blood spongers. And it can’t just be lickspittle buttkisser Nicholas Witchell. There has to be more to it. What do fellow cunters think?

    • Well if lefties are happy to lick moosies asses and their numerous offspring and pander to lazy, chav parasites and their numerous equally vacuous offspring, then why not posh super parasites and their numerous equally vacuous super extravagant offspring??

    • A “Witchell” sounds like something that might turn malignant, ought to have it removed surgically.

  3. Growing up in Brighton in the 60’s & 70’s was a great period , fags and trannies kept a low profile, great music and shaging birds was top priority. There was a spit and sawdust pub near west street where you could by their homemade brew called cloudy for 12 pence a pint in 1973. Fuck me you were on your arse after 5 pints. A great night out for £2.50 . Now your lucky to get a pint in Brighton under £5 a pint.
    Their were great music venues like The Big Apple at clock tower where the stones performed ,Emerson lake and palmer , King Crimson etc, I saw the very first performance of DSOTM by Pink Floyd at the Dome in 1972. If you were into prog/ rock in those days Brighton was a Mecca, well it’s an even bigger Mecca now but for all the wrong reasons and a degrading shit hole.

    • Yeah. I was at the Dark Side of the Moon gig. Also Bowie and Led Zeppelin 1973. Zeppelin tickets were £1 and they encored with Christmas songs. Having to queue for 9 hours fo a ticket was a bit cunty.

  4. Football should be binned as our National sport. We never win fuck-all,it’s a breeding ground for utter Cunts and it allows Ian Wright and Gary Lineker to imagine that people give a flying-fuck about their opinions. I’d as soon watch some inbreds roll a wheel of cheese down Coopers Hill.

    • Its as if the BBC holds meetings every now and again to vote on what ex-footballers are the most hated annoyingly cunty voiced cunts and should we hire them?

      There’s no explanation as to why they hire cunts who would get a right kicking if they spouted their shite in a bar.
      We hated these cunts as players and by Jove do we hate these cunts as pundits.
      Pat Nevin excluded.

      I had to listen to Phil Fuckin Neville tonight, STRAIGHT!!!!!!

      • It used to be that retired footballers bought a pub or a sweet shop,gambled it away,became alcoholics and died young. They knew their place in those days.No farting about thinking that people were interested in their opinions or lives. It’s a shame that modern footballers don’t have the same decency and regard for the Great British Public. Selfish wankers.

      • Even joe pasquale at a push!!
        Phil gargoyle Neville is as easy on the eye as he is the ear!! 😡😡

  5. I moved to Brighton in 2000 when it was riding high on all that Fatboy Slim rave crap. It was a friendly, upbeat sort of place for a while, but it became more druggy and grimy and it all turned to shit pretty quick. Hipster try-hards & all the liberal cultural marxists still think it’s the city of cool. It is not. It is a city divided between the genuinely desperate and deluded middle class people who think they are part of some great fucking liberal revolution and hang around looking ‘street’ or uber-cool at when in fact they either have their parents as paymasters or they have some disgusting office job in London to support their massive mortgage or rent. It’s a fake town.
    I know people in the council and I know there are good people who work for the council who genuinely want to help the desperate and support residents except for many years it stank of a mafia of senior managers (two have been dismissed in recent years for alleged fraud), who ganged up on chief executives who rarely stayed more than 3 years (and are only using the job as a career stepping-stone anyway) and thwarted any progress. It stands a better chance now that much of the old guard have either been sacked or have retired.
    It’s a town that could have been great, but is now just a fucking mess and getting worse. I did the best thing and moved along the coast and far away from that churning shithole.

    • I’v lived in Brighton n Hove all my life but I no longer go into Brighton unless strictly necessary.
      1 it’s full of sexual deviants and lefties openly pedaling their destructive, nauseating, utopic delusions and
      2 I am afraid some bum fuck hating peaceful cunts will inadvertently blow me into a thousand little pieces. .

  6. What if Public Enquiries, aka Whitewashing, were a sport ?

    So many under false starter’s orders, general cock-ups, blurred photo-finishes…

    The French pulled a blinder on the Alma Tunnel job.

    • The Cunts That Be, when they want to hit a problem into the long grass, hold a Public Enquiry. Is that cricket? Is it a sport?

  7. A fly-by cunting for the insufferable, eye-gougingly and ear-bleedingly infuriating ‘England band’, who follow the football team to every fucking match and trot out the same headspinningly repetitive shite from their arsehole-blown trumpets, tubas and cunting trombones.

    I irreversibly lost most interest in following England after the 2010 World Cup debacle. But the few times I’ve got behind them since, this bunch of brass blowing bastard cuntlords truly make my shit hang sideways.

  8. I personally think football is totally vacuous and total Bollocks. Blokes running about kicking a ball.
    Well that’s the beginning and end of it as far as I can see.
    Some twits with small head get so excited when there teem hits the ball into a net more times than the other twits in different shirts do, and in reality these twits can’t see that nothing whatsoever has changed around them, everything is still the bloody same as it was before.
    I recon that if the media etc spent as much time ranting and raving about tiddlywinks as they do this kids playground pass-time game you’d see the same Burks behaving in just the same fashion as they do now with this vacuum of a dead end pursuit.
    Its literally become a religion with its elders, saints, heroes and sacred places etc.
    You’d complain if the Jehovah’s whiteness forced there way into your home and force fed you with their religion every time you watched the news and had to put up with them suddenly appearing as you change the channels. how’d you feel if you had to listen to muggs enthusing about their peaceful religion in the cafe, waiting for the bus,train or where ever.
    Well I’m not falling for it and you should see through this utter contempt and insult to public intelligence hype too , Bloody wast of time and fucking irritating.
    LOL. 🙂

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