Spotted a number of cunters admitting that they reside within the purlieus of Brighton and thus generating a fools paradise of interest. Allow me to mark some cards. Have had connections in Brighton for many a year. Have seen it evolve from Poof’s Paradise (which it still is me darlings) to a multi-gender-multi-cultural Greens/Labour cesspit. Along the way the classically (allegedly) dodgy council is obsessed with obliterating its delightfully seedy Vicky/Edwardian seaside heritage. After allowing the wonderful West Pier to burn and rot and replacing it with a glass doughnut viewing ring riding up and down on a phallus that grinds to a halt mid air whenever punters are aboard, next move in “regeneration” is stripping out all the remaining genuine heritage. Replacements? Endless booze joints stinking of stale beer and “clubs” thumping out mega loud bass.
The greasers in The Council have trousered a vast quantity of Heritage, Lottery and EU Regeneration cashola. Natural next step? Use that money (though not all of it apparently, allegations of diversions into private slush funds, council bribery and corruption ect ect) to fuck over that for which it was intended ie The Heritage in favour of a weird pastiche of concrete and aluminium (in place of cast iron and brick) reminiscent of Ostend on speed. You can view this EU Remainers paradise from the new Zip Wire dear hearts.
Fancy a walk on the wild side? An evening stroll skipping over spilt booze, used syringes, dosser turds and sharps safes (plastic boxes for used needles cunts) ? Watching a couple of dykes tongue fucking is sure to melt the hardest of hearts. The moon is out, is that a shooting star? (could it be Elizabeth Hurley or one of the slappers from Strictley?) Take a seat in a Magic Booth, one of the few remaining seaside shelters (avoid if possible unless they remind you of home, the ones with dosser cardboard that stinks of human piss and any with blood on the seats) . Your drugs of choice will be brought to you, Also avoid, unless that way inclined, the attentions of the dosser prossies, occasionally genuine refugees but mostly Rumanian skanks. Gotta be hard core to shag one of those. Respect if you can.
So much to do, so much to see. A trip down Marine Drive to watch Dyke Beach Volleyball (avoid needles in the sand) is recommended if the cunter appreciates boy shaped fillies arses (fat arsed variety can’t hack it). Down towards the Marina the discerning cunter may view Pikeys on holiday, caravans nicely parked up in a public car park right on the sea. Heavenly. Opposite on the grass a benefits “refugee” camp of our young male muslim friends . Feeling so loved up now.
Cunters with young children are sure to want to visit and play that old game “Spot a White Face”. Main areas like Western Road and London Road not recommended to avoid disappointment. Frustration and tantrum counseling readily available in Brighton.
Also the Seagulls down here are mugging bastards (and I don’t just mean the football team).
Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.