Red Bull Flugtag

It’s that time of year for the Red Bull Flugtag. This year it is coming from Pittsburgh USA on 5th August. It all started back in 1971 in Selsey, West Sussex until Red Bull took it over in 1991.

Anyway, enough history, what actually happens is that all kinds of mad cunts enter into a competition in an attempt to fly with some wacky contraptions. It is a cross between the Wacky Racers meets Dastardly and Mutley. In all the years it has been running, without fail, none of the contestants have got far. The flight record is only 258 feet.

If the likes of James Dyson, Boeing, Airbus or NASA entered, they would walk it, or should I say fly it. Since they don’t, it’s just the same old shit, year after year, as cunt after cunt jumps off a pier and crash lands into the water below.

Now, if that daredevil Silver Beardy Branson was to enter I would watch it, just to see him crash spectacularly in an undignified heap or better still jettison himself into space, to be seen last hurtling towards the Sun. We do live in hope, eh?

However, things maybe about to change, as in not many years from now we may well be watching a livelier, err…deadlier version, namely, the Sharia Flying Pig Challenge sponsored by Mecca (not the Bingo). In this new version, they substitute the volunteer nutters jumping off piers in their flying machines, with conscripted gay men – totally wingless so no cheating allowed – being assisted off the White Cliffs of Dover, with only the rocks below. The judges won’t be so much measuring flying distance, but more so the net result, as they will be selected from the Sharia Courts. Extra points will be awarded for the rate of descent and the force with which the ‘contestants’ are pushed. Flailing arms and loud screams will also add to their final scores. Clearly, the casualty rate will go up, as intended, but so will the viewing figures among the propogating peaceful hordes. The winner is at the judges discretion, although, unfortunately he will have to be awarded his prize posthumously.

I think it  maybe time to update those classic Vera Lynn wartime lyrics to….. “They’ll be homos over the White Cliffs of Dover, just you wait and see”

Nominated by Mike Oxard.

59 thoughts on “Red Bull Flugtag

  1. Bought a bunch of movies last week had nothing better to do considering my internet was out from last thursday to wednesday. I love thrift shops used items at the cheap, perfect for frugal bastards like yours truly. Picked up A view to Kill, blade runner directors cut, some japanese slasher flick called battle royale, few old disney films, some seedy looking exploitation film called big bird cage with pam grier, and the full boxset of wallace & gromit (I’m a sucker for clay animation) All for less then a pack of fags not bad if I don’t say so myself

    • How good is Battle Royal? If only we could send generation snowflake to a remote island to battle each other to the death.

      • It was surprisingly good, some parts I was laughing my arse at. The teacher in it looks and kinda reminds me of Filipino President Duterte he would totally do that too if kids acted up, in a way hes doing that for the drug problems in philippines at the moment

        I don’t want to overhype it but it was enjoyable and I would watch it again. Definitively better then any sorry excuse for a film thats been released from hollywood (hollywank) in the last 10 or 20 years

    • Go on m8 go on what are your true feelings, we already know that Sir Mohamed Muktar Jama Farah (4 names) is definitively a cunt and outrunning the Police isn’t a bloody sport its a fucking felony!

      Fastest runner? bollocks he was the best bike theft in his bongo days . Probably on some form of undetectable steroids that MI5 produces for him the mongy little gimp

    • A money-grabbing,dope-test-dodging,tax-avoiding,ugly woman loving,pretend British, weapons-grade Cunt,to give him his correct title.

    • The doped-up cheating cunt is a knight of the realm, yet doesn’t even know the words ‘his’ national anthem, one of the shortest verses of any in the world.

      Assured that he was definitely part of the Salazar long-distance doping regime. And to top it off, he brings his feral mulattos onto the fucking track, shitting up the event.

      Otherwise, great British victory for Somalian-born, American-based Mohamed Muktar Jama Farah.

  2. On the subject of Great British sporting heroes, that Amir Khan is a cunt.
    I think he is more proud of his Pakistani heritage than his country, and I’m sick of seeing his dumb face in the ‘news’ about his marriage break up with the strange Michael Jackson looking wife. A tacky couple, who gives a shit?

  3. Pooves and Muzzies are two sides of the same coin. Both believe that their “rights” trump all. They are both convinced that any criticism,no matter how mild, must be screamed down and drowned out. They take priority,everyone must accept their equally perverted view of what is acceptable. Pooves are no less virulent than muslims. They both preach perversion. Muslims condone sex with children. Pooves believe that anal sex with another man is “natural”…Well,it isn’t. It’s fucking unnatural or unnatural fucking,if you’d rather.
    I yearn for the days when “normal” behaviour was not sneered at and treated with contempt. I have no wish to live in a country that allows a murderous religion to take precedence,nor do I want to live in a country that celebrates sexual perversion.

    Muslims or Queers? I wouldn’t trust either to look after any child of mine.

    (I would enjoy seeing Tom Daley forced to dive off the high-board into an empty swimming pool.)

    • Both Poofs and Muslims exhibit cult like dedication, behavior and will turn on you like crazy if you criticise them. The only difference is muslims want to blow you up and Poofs want to blow you..

  4. Took the mrs to see that Valarian (her idea), and what a steaming pile of fucking cunt it is… It’s so shite it makes Battle Beyond The Stars look like 2001: A Space Odyssey… And that Rugmunching media whore Delevigne? A dog turd has more acting talent and screen presence, and she’s about as attractive as a bad egg… She looks like a Hitler Youth member in drag… This poker faced dyke is on shop displays, on the TV, in the papers, and now she’s on the fucking cinema… How did somebody so dull and charisma-free get to be everywhere? Could be to do with her parents being very rich, and also a lot to do with Cara licking out more buckets than Diane Abbott on a trip to KFC….

    • Well gee the film only had the biggest cast of cunts ever Norm. Clive Owen looks literally the same in every film hes in why is that?, Cara the Dyke, what the fuck is rihanna doing in this? and herbie hancock the jazz musician? why what the fuck for?

      The only actor I respect in it is Rutger Hauer who was brilliant in blade runner btw see list of films I recently bought €197 million was the budget?! wow thats fucking crazy even a massive sized budget couldn’t even save this failure of afilm

  5. I have seen clips of the redbull nonsense and its nonsense.
    A bit like the regattas I used to watch on the river leven as a kid.
    It was our chance to rub shoulders with the great and the good. The great and the good was the entire cast of Take The Highroad, or simply Highroad for younger viewers.
    Utter shite and would have been totally pointless if it wasnt for watching STV slebs nearly drown, after their makeshift vessels fell apart.

    Got the entire Dumbarton FC team autograph once though, on my arm and hand.

    Wow wow wee wee.

      • I mentioned my problems yesterday, but realised later that some cunt grassed me in.
        Some cunt took time out to go on a site, look at comments about terrorists planning to kill us and take offence at my name calling of they “muslimey cunts”.
        What sick cunt would do that?
        A traitor, that’s who.

      • Joined fuckbook three weeks ago for the first time to follow some interests.
        Since then I’ve been able to get into all sorts arguments with snowflakes and cuckolded cunts.
        I’ve been polite but vicious and have suffered abuse for my patriotic views.

        It should be noted that i have never sought anybody out for my own private cunting, no, they have found me and it was they who drew first blood.

        I just wish the grass would have informed me about any offence i caused as well as dobbing me in, but no these cowards don’t operate like that.

          • I hope the dirty grass gets outed, birdman… And the cunt who did it should remember one thing….
            Snitches means stitches…. Say no more…

          • Libtards are indeed tomorrow’s fascists; they DO love the idea of killing off freedom of speech (except their own…)

  6. I doubt the “white cliffs of Dover” is still allowed.

    Well before that it’ll be “bluebirds over the multi cultural, multi faith, all inclusive, non gender specific, tolerant, lgbqrtw rights aware, cliffs (or any other rocks) – can’t discriminate against rocks – of any community (to mention Dover is to mention England and Englishness and, as we all know, that’s racist).

    • Shit I just realised.

      Bluebirds.

      I didn’t mention blackbirds, swallows and the vibrant multi ethnicity of birds.

      How racist of me.

      …luckily birds can’t read but just in case someone gets offended on their behalf …

      • White cliffs of Dover is hardcore 1488 white supremacy and vera lynn is too and I fully support her

        “Why is this cliff white? is it racist? by the powers cunted to me by Jeremy Kurt corbain I hereby make the cliffs black by forcing them to rockmix with charcoal to destroy racism” -Diane Fatbutt

  7. “International poove rogering by large African animals”, a bit unwieldy as a name for a competition but you get my drift. ” And now Dumbo is getting well stuck into Julian who is signalling enough, oh bad luck there Julian, elephants don’t speak Mince, just another two feet and you’ve won .

  8. A cunting for Saturday:

    Leo Veradka

    The new Irish Teashop is a woofta, oh so multi-racial (son orf an Indian immigrant), rabidly pro-EU, in its late thirties and hates Blighty. A perfect pc match for modern Europe now dedicated to making life as difficult for Great Britain as possible in the Brexit negotiations. Been here before with the Irish Republicans dedicated to backstabbing us during the First and the Second World Wars.

    Only bright side is he now has to deal with the DUP and the likes orf Arlene Foster so every chance orf a re-booted Armed Struggle which we can leave to the new European Army to sort oit for a few decades. Whichever way it goes we can rely on our Irish friends to hoover in obscene amounts orf cash from the Yanks, the EU and alas poor Blighty.

    • It certainly shows how fuck up these time are when a shirtlifter becomes leader of a prominently Catholic country.

      • He may well be singing the Irish entry in the European Song Contest…
        “Oh bummy boy the cocks the cocks are calling,
        From men to men and down the mountain side…”

        • Come on, DF !! A little more self-confidence…

          This would be a GREAT business opportunity: I can already see throngs of hipsters and man-buns queueing round the block for this health-giving beverage.

          All you need do is find a suitably oirish spelling for “Wank” (something like oaimgh ??) and you’re minted.

          O’ Dreary will want to sell it on his metal-birds…

  9. I would like to give another well deserved cunting to the ABBC for this pile of cunt I just saw advertised. No More Boys And Girls: Can Our Kids Go Gender Free? Apparently they are showing some uber libtard shite where they try to make them gender neutral. Fucking hell this country really is fucked if this is the shit they are broadcasting. Sure all the rainbow flag waving migrant hug a muslime will be celebrating another nail in the coffin of normality. I fucking despair I really do I hate to think of the world my grandkids will inherit if we can’t stop this madness.

    • Too right Goodwoodone, It’s incredible.
      Just when you think it can’t get any more sick, twisted and generally wrong, sorry I mean politically correct then even more of this kind of shite appears.
      It really is so sad that we should come to this.

    • Experimenting on kids?! That’s the sort of shit Mengele used to do…. These BBC cunts really are sick… Men and women make the human race and the earth what it is… Kill that and the human race will end… We will end up like Daleks: genderless blobs in casing… The ABBC is evil and they basically want everyone on earth to be queer or muslim….

  10. Kind of pleased Bolt just lost. His ego makes him a real cunt.

    I’m no fan of Gatlin, but he’s practically reduced the entire Al-BBC to tears, such is their vomit inducing sycophancy. That makes him ok in my book.

    Unlucky, you fucking bludklart Jamaican cunt.

    • Bolt is an arrogant sambo cunt and as mad as a lorry load of baboons on crack… And aren’t the Black Broadcasting Corporation gutted that their little pet has lost?….. Lovely stuff…

  11. Mike’s post may have a mirthful slant but it’s bang on the money sentiment wise.

    This country will be “peaceful” in 20yrs time with their breeding ratio of 8:2.

    We need to stop importing the cunts for a start and then we need to stop paying the fuckers for having – on average – 6 to 8 little bomb-makers that *we* pay for.

    Simplest thing would be to cap child bens to 2 kids. After that you pay yourself.

    The only cunts that would affect would be “peaceful” cunts and Jeremy Kyle chav cunts – both groups of which are parasitic at best.

    Any catholic cunts out there got a problem with that then get your fucking church to pay for the > 2 kids. Last time I checked the Vatican was minted so fuck off!

  12. Back to those ABBC cunt trumpets again…. Yesterday I watched the classic Doctor Who story ‘The Brain Of Morbius’…. In it shows several faces of The Doctor that were supposed to be him before his first onscreen incarnation (William Hartnell)… And guess what? There wasn’t a single woman amongst them…. Proof that a ‘female Doctor’ was never, ever part of the continuity and this new one is just a PC and Femstapo puppet….

    Wonder if Whittaker will get a saucy story though?… They could done called ‘Masturbation Of The Daleks’…

    • Ah, The Brain of Morbius, remember it well. Gruesome Frankenstein inspired stuff that got lots of complaints due to violence and gore.
      Naturally, we kids loved it…

  13. Verminhofstadt is kicking off again, demanding, threatening…about freedom of movement.
    It is so very difficult to choose a Cunt of the Century, but I think this truckle of Belgian knobcheese must be it. No surprise that Agatha Christie based Poirot on an odious, pompous little Belgian prat whom she loathed.
    On the plus side, the Poles are giving the eu grief, and in a few days time they’re going to present gute alte Deutschland with the reparations bill for WWII.
    It would be funny if Tusk got severely d/w in his homeland, but I suspect the littlebollox coward lives permanently in a heavily protected compound in Brussels.
    Serves him right, as it’s a UNESCO World Heritage shitehole

    On a sad note, RIP Hywel Bennett, who was superb as Ricki Tarr in Le Carre’s Tinker Tailor. From the days when BBC could do something decent.
    Hope mention of that Christian name doesn’t block up the system

  14. I’m back! Keeping me head down in a factory doing Agency work, starting a permanent job in September. Can’t say where as my life is like 007’s. I’ve layed low for a while, storing all my anger and cuntness up:

    Sick of the BBCs overkil of gayness, BBC 2 is bending over backwards to tick boxes. I couldn’t give a shit about it all, live and let live, but I do wonder in 20 years time will beastiality. Paedophilia and necrophillia be accepted as a sexual orientation and celebrated on the BBC? Will we be celebrating shagging dogs? What next?

    Next subject, moped cowardly criminal cunts. Get the anti terrorist police on the streets to shoot them, pcsos are powerless, anyone see the Pcso get slapped by a moped twat in the sun? When the fuck will the police sack all police community support officers and get real police on the streets instead of soppy pcsos? Pcsos are a unacceptable form of policing and need rid of! Criminal cunts and teenagers have wised up that Pcsos are the second class stamp of the police.

    Next!! Celebrity Big Brother, what a load of shit. Only be interesting if anthrax was spread about the Big Brother house. Barry from Eastenders could maybe block the bog?

    Next! Ugly BBC presenters, munters and lesbian haircuts on BBC breakfast and freak male presenters. Don’t know any of there names but it hurts my eyes to watch them at 6am. I’m a ugly cunt but I like less manly than Steph McGowan.

    Next! Audi drivers, Audi cars have now become the chav car symbol along with owning a pinball terrier. People who drive these cars driver insanely. If they are not getting pulled along by a horse, the next step is a Audi on finance.

    Petrol! Thats next! Why has petrol prices not gone down?

    • Hey Harry Balls.
      Thank fuck yer still around and its brilliant yer moving forward.
      Excellent.

      And what a return post.
      Boom, cunted, boom, cunted, boom, cunted.

      Nice one Harry Balls. 🙂

  15. And emergency cunting, hearse in Sunderland Echo newspaper driving around in with a vinyl rainbow wrap on it! Why!!!! If that’s the case I want my hearse vynal wrapped in Hobgoblin beer pictures!

    • How is Hobgoblin beer any good? haven’t been able to have drink for awhile. Gallbladder and possible thyroid problem at the moment been drink free for 39 days and counting

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