Big Ben Bureaucrats


The krauts could not do it. The IRA could not do it. Commie cunts could not do it but the high viz brigade have pulled it orf. Big Ben, the sound orf the Nation and orf democracy across the free world, the heartbeat orf London, is to silenced for FOUR fucking years. Can anything be done? Oit orf our hands say the faceless bugger clones orf Parliament. Been signed orf by two Parliamentary Committees says Sir Roger Snifter orf the League orf Parliamentary Poofters while pulling his nose oit orf the arse orf his researcher.

Put on your high viz vests, hard hats and groin protectors dear hearts before reading further – oh and better have a mandatory risk assessment for health and safety. You see the Queen Elizabeth Tower (it houses the bells cunts) is to have a refurbishment and scaffolding erected aroinde it so this may be done (bells in fine fettle already). Fear orn the part orf the limp wristed ones is that Sergei or Ivan or Petrov might have their personal spaces violated if they are up orn the scaffolding when the bells go orf. Apparently a nice pair orf high viz ear defenders and hurt feelings counselling is not considered adequate for the poor darlings.

Also unfathomable reasons given for not doing the obvious ie turning the fucking things orf for the time that the workers are actually orn the job. Real reason is that would be a dead give away for how few hours the cunts were actually doing a week.

Your Truly very suspicious that if the bells are turned orf they will never be heard again. Detect a stitch-up by the LibWog Alliance to silence the distressing sound orf white democratic supremacy. Sir Limply’s suggestion? Employ a gang orf deaf (sorry “differently abled”) cunts. Job done.

In past times the old speaker, Sir Cuntly Manners was celebrated for shagging his wife once a month. He would bestir himself at the midnight hour, making his entry upon the first peal orf the bell and his withdrawal upon the second thus completing the half dozen. If that fire engine had not gone past he would still be alive today.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

60 thoughts on “Big Ben Bureaucrats

  1. It’s complete and utter bollocks and yet another victory for agenda driven stupidity over any kind of common sense ….. 😡

  2. Got to say I was disappointed by the chimes the last few times I was in London.
    Already sounded like it had been muted, probably to appeased those with a religion incompatible with this nation.
    But don’t worry, I’m sure this will give a chance to interview a nice Muzzein to take over once they discover that the bells are mysteriously damaged(or nicked)

  3. Don’t worry folks, news in from HM Government. In 2022 Big Ben will be back with the sound of the call to prayer blasted from a megaphone and loudspeakers, five times a day. Renamed “Big Mo’s Minaret”, the numerals on the dial will be changed from Roman to Arabic. The time will be sponsored by Emirates and Qatar Airways.

    • As crazy as that sounds it’s not beyond the realms of possibility……
      just saw the end of Vitoria Derbyshire as it was on in my mums care home, fucking hell they we’re all talking about grenfell tower, the show finished with some black guy playing a guitar and singing his tower ballad!! ( BUCKET PLEASE) …..

      • With the benefit of hindsight, “Can you tell what it is yet ?” as uttered by Rolf Harris has a bit of a sinister ring to it.

        • Lyrics for “Tie me kangaroo down, sport” decidedly iffy too
          Bondage, zoophilia, something about having his hide tanned when he’d carked…

          Room on my horse for two… ’nuff said.

  4. I live in Brighton but at least once a month would spend the weekend with friends in London. I don’t go there anymore. It’s like moving to fucking Poland, Romania and Pakistan all at the same time and having guided tours of the capitals famous mosques. My friends moved too.

    • Hi CNR ,
      I used to live on Essex border of London, I didn’t like what was happening 20 years ago, had a look around and moved to Brighton then hove, best move I ever made, virtually all of my mates have left London!! , some further out into Essex , but lots to the coast, from Brighton down to Cornwall , to a man they all love it……

        • Although not at present the peaceful people have been moving here in last 10 years!, over the park it’s mostly the muzzies playing football and there’s a centre on Portland road, also lots of muzzie shops in boundary road etc etc that’s all relatively new I wonder what it looks like in 20 years?? …
          Still an excellent place to live…👍

        • Yeah, that Brighton Pavilion isn’t odd looking in any way. Doesn’t invoke any thoughts of beardy goat shaggers wearing bomb vests. Just sayin’.

          Actually I like Brighton. Used to go there often to satisfy my record buying urges when I was a yoof. Hours spent going to HMV, Virgin Megastore, WH Smiths, Boots, Woolies maybe even an Our Price trying to find the best price on the album I wanted. Happy days.

      • Am considering somewhere either on railway between Newcastle – Carlisle, or Aberdeen – Inverness (home to the famous “Four and twenty”, so presumably of zero interest to goat buggerers and baby rapists)

        • Inverness is getting more and more popular with folk looking for a civilised way of life … (if you get my drift) .. get in there while the prices are realistic. My Dad always says it’s too cold and there’s too much work for …’them’ … to move up (proper) ‘North’.

          I remember walking up Oxford St. a couple of years back, and it wasn’t until I was just about two thirds the way up and I suddenly heard my first English voice … until then I hadn’t realised how fucked the place was.

          • Ta for that ! My clan seat isn’t far N of Inverness, although at some stage in early c20th, no male heir appeared, and it went via daughter & son-in-law to a major engineering family.
            Now a hotel, so I can visit, be a cunt and pretend to be the Laird…

            I don’t really feel the cold after Switzerland and Vienna, and there’s no shortage of good breakfast whiskies.

    • I have never lived in that London but used to enjoy visiting. But that was a long time ago when it was cosmopolitan. Now it is a typical 3rd world city and I pity the poor Londoners (of any colour) who have to live in it. Vast wealth( fucking Russian, Arab, corrupt African, Mickey Mouse celebs, MPs on ‘expenses’) alongside extreme poverty. ie the poor cunts who have to try and live there on low wages to keep the fucking shithole afloat.
      Fuck London, Crossrail, HS2 and all the rest of the funds we throw at it.

    • I have to also agree on Brighton, and surrounding areas.

      A high concentration of shirtlifters of course in Brighton, but provided they make the effort to speak English and don’t drive Bedford vans into crowds of innocents, I could not care less what they do with their back passages.

      • Was a time when I was young that “back passage” had a different meaning. You scrubbed it out twice weekly. after you put the bins out.

  5. No chimes of Big Ben when we leave the EU then.
    Oh but of course, we’re not actually leaving though, are we…?
    At the risk of crossing the fine line between vigilance and paranoia, I smell a rat…

    • Now my favourite shop has closed its doors and gone entirely on line, no b reason whatsoever to visit, save for the Gay Hussar, but there’s also The Goulash in Aberdeen. Less of a chance of meeting the designer suicide-belt brigade.

      Foyle’s is crap now it’s moved down the road. Admittedly, the old place had its faults re lack of visible escape routes in case of bombing and fires, also a forgotten lift-shaft that would have made a good air intake for an inferno, but the new place…

      Like a feckin IKEA or flooring showroom…
      DO come and admire our lovely eco-wood bookcases and laminate flooring.
      Books ?? Hmmm, we might have a few tucked away somewhere.
      Did The Christine really have anything to do with the “transformation”?? Hard to believe.

    • On leaving the EU, just a MASSIVE round-up, and a fat-hog roast bonfire of all the Brussels Coudenhove-Kalergi globalist wankstains.

  6. lol. some bloke just said he wishes Nawaz could take over permanently from O’briern. said he normally switches of at 10 am.

  7. Has anyone noticed that rather than being seen as delivering late all deadlines for this type of stuff are now ludicrously long. This means whoever’s doing it can happily fuck around half the time putting low skilled labour on it or pulling them onto other jobs and still finish on time.

  8. I smell a big fat smelly rat here, Sir Limply…. I reckon that the likes of Sad-Dick Khan are trying to replace Big Ben’s chimes with some multiculti, genderbendi, muzzie prayers siren that will appease all the sandwogs, all the white wogs, all the doughnut punchers and bulldykes, all the transbender freaks, and all the snowflake libmongs…

  9. Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor are monumental cunts….
    These clowns/whores have dragged boxing into the gutter with their glorified sideshow tent freak show… And, of course, anyone who actually pays to watch these two wankers is a complete and utter mong…. Like football and cricket, boxing has now been ruined by rapacious cunts and parasites like Sky TV…. And there will always be knobends like Mayweather and McGregor ready to bare their arses to the money men for a dirty pay day…. Talking of which, It was announced the winner of a bout (many in boxing have rightly rubbished) will receive a one-off belt from the World Boxing Council called ‘The Money Belt’…. It contains 3,360 diamonds, 600 sapphires, 300 emeralds and 1.5kg of solid gold, mounted on alligator leather…. What a disgusting load of shit and what a pair of disgusting cunts… Ant chance that they could kill each other?…. Hope so…

    • I remember seeing the Eubank/Watson fight live on TV when Watson collapsed and went on to suffer that awful brain damage.

      I would never have dreamed of wishing that on another boxer… until Floyd ‘Cunt Me If You Can’ Mayweather came along. This fucker is beyond insufferable. Endless tacky, noveau-riche boasting and flaunting in the way that only the black ghetto-tier cuntfucks can manage. This cunt is one of the biggest frauds in boxing history. His style is anti-boxing. He is to boxing what Mark Selby is in snooker – a dull fucker who engages in a war of attrition that is utter fucking wank to watch.

      As mentioned yesterday, I was suckered into his fight vs. Pacman, having been desperate to see that for about ten fucking years. I should have known better – Mayweather, a first-pressing cunt but a shrewd cunt, knew Pacquiao was not half the fighter he once was. the spectacle that fight should have been in 2007 was a dreadful fucking affair that made me want to thrust my numb-fucking-skull straight into the TV screen.

      My only hope for the unduly overhyped shit-circus featuring the almost equally cuntish McGregor is for a freakish double-KO that involves both being reduced to dribbling ironside vegetables forevermore.

      Mind you, I have to say that boxing for some time has been on the wane. The omni-belts and the Klitschcunts ruined the heavyweight division. Boxing needs a major fucking overhaul, preferably starting with enforced defence of belts against a ranked system of opponents within a certain time frame.

  10. A place in the sun home or away is a right cunt. All the people who come on it have no intention of buying anything cos they haven’t got a pot to piss in and just want a free holiday. I wouldn’t mind it if anyone actually bought something occasionally, but all they say is they’ll think about it and then it’s the end of the show and you never hear from them again! Absolute Cunts!

    • In truth I find all these property programmes wrist-slashingly dull. The hosts are usually homebrewed cunts like that shouty-pushy cunt on the Homes under the Hammer prog.

      The people they find though are so fucking insipid it makes my eyes bleed. And you are right, the few times I ever leave these sorts of thing on as background noise, it all ends up being one long tour-de-cunt wankathon on how indecisive and useless these relocating cunts are.

      I mean, moving home is a big decision and no mistake, but why bother showing 30mins of a bunch of fuckers who end up not moving, or are too fucking picky to select any of the homes they view?

      These programmes are in the same sort of stable as all the DIY/cowboy builder shitfests; and with cunts from the elite corps hosting those types of shows – like Nick Knowles and Dominic Littlewood – it’s hard to see anything beyond a solid foundation of cuntitude.

      • Yeah all those cunts who host it are just as big of cunts with there false teeth and smiles trying to persuade a load of fuckwits to buy properties they can afford or won’t buy. That cunt off cowboy builders who always seems to get a load of free shit to decorate the houses with is debatable the biggest cunt of the lot. If she came to a shop I was working at and asked for free stuff, I’d tell the slutty tart to fuck right off. All scripted to fool narrowed minded cuntards

      • Channel 5 is a cunt. A non ending tsunami of zelbs in therapy, Big Brother cunts, fat ugly pierced botoxed orange chavs who have escaped from the Jeremy Kyle Show or the freak shows with some poor fucker from a Third World country with a tumour the size of a basketball.

        • I went to Paignton in Devon a while back, and I described it as ‘like watching one of those channel five benefits programmes on a VR headset’.

      • Some hipster cunts on Location Location (well, the hosts deserved them) turned down a very ok place somewhere in W / N-W London because…

        It was two tube stops away from their twatfriends, and they were afwaid that their “social” life would suffer.

        Beggars belief to the point of, well…buggery

  11. Wayne Rooney has announced he is to retire from international football.

    Although still no comment on his continued involvement with the Shrek franchise….

    • Grannyfucker Wayne announced calling it day for England yesterday…
      When five years ago he called it a day at United… Still collected his wages, mind… Fucking fat wighead cunt…

    • Oh, is that all ??

      Judging by all the fuss on the magic rectangle, I thought he’d gone to meet his 72 Grannies in rubber…

  12. Never mind just silencing the Bell, I think that we should knock the whole Clock Tower down. It is obviously an example of Phallic architecture , designed to intimidate women. Even the name of the bell(end?) …Big Ben,indeed. Nothing more than another reference to the male appendage.
    Won’t someone please think of how great a struggle the Sisterhood have to endure every day in this male dominated society. Just as the Septic- tanks are ditching those horrible racist statues,we should trump them and tear down anything that smacks of a male dominated society,and I can’t think of a better place to start than “Big Ben.”
    The monstrous regiment of women are on the march, Cunters, and we emasculated modern men are on the retreat….still,give it twenty years or so and men’ll be back in charge. Oh,yes..Mohammed’ll take no shit off the split-arses. Hope I’m still around to see the last glorious Battle Royal between the army of crop-haired,dungaree-wearing munters against MightyMo’s toddler-touchers.
    The future’s bright,the future’s….possibly a bit uncertain for the likes of me.

    • I like a few quality tattoos on a bird but she is rough as fuck. What the fuck will she look like when she’s 60 all shrivelled up, the daft cunt.

      • Ugly as fuck too, mate… Jemma Lucy looks like Sandra Bernhard after two hundred pizzas and liposuction that’s gone wrong… And Bernhard is an ugly cunt as it is…

  13. BT Open reach are cunts,
    Because the cunts own all the phone lines I have to to get the cunts round to install the fibre broadband even though I’m getting through another company.
    Anyways I was told the cunt will turn up between 8am and 1pm. Got into town late last night as I picked up some Colombian friends on the way home. So I left the car outside you have to be careful as the Africunt parking attendants can ticket you from half 8 in the morning. Didn’t go to bed till about 5am as my Colombian powder was a bit strong. So I get up at 8ish and knew if I moved/parked the car properly the cunt from Open reach would turn up and fuck off when there was no answer at the door, so I spend all morning till 1pm looking out the window to check I wasn’t getting a ticket and thinking the cunt would turn up any minute.
    1pm comes round and I ring the cunts (Vodafone) and they tell me the cunt isn’t even on his way to me and probably won’t be today.
    Speak I spend the day on a come down, looking like a cunt looking out the window all day, for nothing.
    Open reach are absolute useless cunts, to not even call me to let me know in this day and age is out of order. The next time I see one if their vans I’ll…
    Im getting all charges refunded by Vodafone so I’ll get free installation etc but it time wasted for nothing.
    The cunts.

    • Cunts keep trying to sign me up for fibre optic broadband when THEY KNOW FUCKING WELL that my street ain’t wired for it.

      How do they know this? BECAUSE THEY’RE THE CUNTS THAT DO THE WIRING!!!!

      Boils my fucking piss…!

  14. You could only be classed a proper Cockney if you’re born within earshot of Big Ben in Westminster.

    Fear not, would be pearly Kings and Queens, all is not lost…

    Now to be classed as a proper Cockney you merely have to live within a bomb blast of Westminster (courtesy of “Just fucking live with it – infidel cunts!” Khan).

    Don’t worry you can still wear all the bling as before – just tuck in any sleeves or trouser legs where your limbs are missing. That’s the spirit!

    • Hate to be a smart arse, Rebel Without a Cunt!, me old China, but it was the Bow Bells.

      Dick Van Dyke was born just out of earshot, so doesn’t qualify as a true Cockney.

        • Oh and I love the rhetoric on dealing with “peaceful” cunts in shit hole central such as Afghanistan (the Don, et. al.)

          Hey fuck SomewhereIDONTGIVEASHITABOUTSTAN! How’s about dealing with the cunts in our own back yards first?

          I wouldn’t care, YOU HAVE A FUCKING LIST FFS!

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