The krauts could not do it. The IRA could not do it. Commie cunts could not do it but the high viz brigade have pulled it orf. Big Ben, the sound orf the Nation and orf democracy across the free world, the heartbeat orf London, is to silenced for FOUR fucking years. Can anything be done? Oit orf our hands say the faceless bugger clones orf Parliament. Been signed orf by two Parliamentary Committees says Sir Roger Snifter orf the League orf Parliamentary Poofters while pulling his nose oit orf the arse orf his researcher.
Put on your high viz vests, hard hats and groin protectors dear hearts before reading further – oh and better have a mandatory risk assessment for health and safety. You see the Queen Elizabeth Tower (it houses the bells cunts) is to have a refurbishment and scaffolding erected aroinde it so this may be done (bells in fine fettle already). Fear orn the part orf the limp wristed ones is that Sergei or Ivan or Petrov might have their personal spaces violated if they are up orn the scaffolding when the bells go orf. Apparently a nice pair orf high viz ear defenders and hurt feelings counselling is not considered adequate for the poor darlings.
Also unfathomable reasons given for not doing the obvious ie turning the fucking things orf for the time that the workers are actually orn the job. Real reason is that would be a dead give away for how few hours the cunts were actually doing a week.
Your Truly very suspicious that if the bells are turned orf they will never be heard again. Detect a stitch-up by the LibWog Alliance to silence the distressing sound orf white democratic supremacy. Sir Limply’s suggestion? Employ a gang orf deaf (sorry “differently abled”) cunts. Job done.
In past times the old speaker, Sir Cuntly Manners was celebrated for shagging his wife once a month. He would bestir himself at the midnight hour, making his entry upon the first peal orf the bell and his withdrawal upon the second thus completing the half dozen. If that fire engine had not gone past he would still be alive today.
Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke