Average Speed Cameras

Average speed cameras are in need of a cunting.

They’re everywhere, there’s no beating the fuckers. Why the fuck do I have to slow down from 90mph to 50mph on the motorway when there is nothing going on?

I got caught by one a while ago I was doing an average of 49mph in a 40mph zone, I’ve had to pay almost £80 to go on a Speed Awareness course (no doubt run by a load of ex Coppers) who will tell me that going faster than the speed limit is…going to fast. My other option was to pay £100 and get three points on my license.

They are taking all the fun out of driving.

What a moneymaking scam, the cunts.

Nominated by Black and White Cunt.

100 thoughts on “Average Speed Cameras

  1. To true Mike I’ve thought the same there are HD cameras available for little money small and discrete with crystal clear images. However our wonderful councils and authorities use massive boxes with what appears to be a one pixel camera. Be better to employ hundreds of artists drawing in fucking charcoal would be representative of the average cunt criminal. And on the subject of speed awareness courses I went on one for pretty much the same reason as the OP average speed camera at 7.30 on a Sunday morning but I did make everyone laugh at the course when asked why I speed the answer shouldn’t be “cos it’s fun”

  2. Local man was done for 33 in a 30 zone for Christ’s sake. Nowhere near a school, seven thirty am on a Saturday morning ,almost no traffic.
    It’s just another cash crop to the greedy fuckpigs that spunk our money on immigrant benefits, fucking stupid trains to save 20 minutes to some shithole oop north and a white elephant aircraft carrier.

    • I was done for 33mph on an empty country road in Norfolk which I genuinely thought was 40. Apparently I should have known from the ‘regular pattern of street lights’

      I found this out when I did the £80 speed awareness course in lieu of £100 fine and 3 points.

      Bit sneaky and officious I thought…

      • I done a traffic offence in said fair cunty, as was unemployed at the time, I insisted on paying the £20- over four months…
        Keeps some bean-counter employed, can’t have them roaming the streets… Gawd knows wot might ‘appen.
        Apparently it wasn’t my car that triggered the camera, it was the bus (ie public service vehicle) in next lane.
        Fewer implications if you nail joe public said the copper, as he wheeled his chair RIGHT up close to me, thinking I was concentrating on the video…
        Shame I wasn’t his sort (never have been), he seemed quite a nice boy in blue.
        I still go for the mounted wpos… Cardiff has some seriously fit ones.

  3. I regularly do 80 on the motorway. I did an advanced driving course in the Army, so I reckon I’m pretty safe to do that. That aside though, modern cars, and experienced drivers should have no problem in doing 80 on the motorway. Logically, to me at least, the speed limit for m-ways should be raised to at least 80. Stupidly though, the government is thinking the opposite. Because of this bullshit called climate change, they reckon we should be doing 60. Which would be a massive step backwards.

    • Isnt it strange QD when the same government sees u fit and trains you to drive into the enemy but then fucks you and calls u stupid once your home on a normal road and not let you do the extra few miles What about the cunt Plod speeding off to get his pork pie at lunch time?

      Perhaps they should put that cameras to better use and tune in on cunts that are about to take a load of children out of a concert or cut the throats of people leading a normal life. Cunts.

      • The 70mph motorway limit was fixed back when we all drove Ford Anglias, Hillman minx’s and Austin A40s and servo assisted brakes were regarded as a luxury…

  4. I was recently ‘ done ‘ twice in the same place for doing 33 and 37 in a 30 zone. I honestly thought it was a 40 zone. Luckily it wasn’t the police but a local ‘ neighbourhood watch’ scheme, so just a warning. But they obviously have access to the PNC. I use that route everyday and try as I mightI have yet to spot them.sneaky fuckers must be hiding in the bushes.
    On another matter, not sure if this is a joke or not but some nutters it appears are demanding the removal of Nelson from his column because he was a ‘white racist’! It’ll never happen . Will it?

    • If Nelson or Wellington or Bodicea or anyone genuine English hero statues are even contemplated being removed it’s time for action. Fucking snowflake upset with everything cast iron cunts.

      • Bodicea wasn’t English she was Queen of the Iceni a British tribe, she died hundreds of years before the Saxons and Angles where the “English” come from, got here.!!

    • Im afraid that Nelson was indeed “White” Richard. And there is evidence that he was racist. It is recorded that he drank his tea with MILK thus proving his preference for “white” tea, and not Black tea.

      His column is due for demolition in the near future and will be replaced by a Statue of Nelson. Mandela and the lions will be replaced with figures of 1 Sir Bob Geldof, 2 Lily ( mong) Allen 3 Karl Junker and last but not least 4 Angela Merkel
      The Monument to Bomber Command will now be dedicated to the survivors of the Grenfell Massacre, and “Banana Gob” will replace Bomber Harris..

      Its all good news isn’t it ?

      • You give these cunts and inch and they’ll take a mile. Do they want to rename Trafalgar Square and Waterloo Station in case the French and Spanish get their panties in a knot?

        • What they could do is pull down the column, and rebuild Grenfell tower on the site and then charge the cunts none rent to live there and hand out £1000 a week income fucking support.

    • Cromwell was a nasty piece of work.
      Alfred the Great was opposed to immigration from Europe.
      Richard Lionheart was anti Moslem.
      Henry V was an anti French cunt.
      Victoria was an imperialist.
      Lloyd George knew my father.
      Churchill was a colonialist.
      Richard III owes millions in car parking fees.
      Henry VIII was an anti feminist.
      Isaac Newton would not have approved gay marriage (probably)
      Darwin put forward a theory that neatly explains why Africa is a shithole, the racist cunt.
      Einstein was a Jew.
      Wellington had a big nose.
      I could go on but the theme that develops is that all these cunts were white. Remove the statues and put up statues to the real heroes – Bonio, soap dodger Bob, Brucie, Princess Died, Dianne Abbot, Blair the liberator of Iraq, Yasser Arafat, Jean Claude Drunker and many, many more who are far worthier than the capitalist, Zionist, slave owners listed above.

      • Statue of St Gary of Lineker in the middle of Leicester holding a bag of Walkers cheese and onion aloft in one hand and tweeting his pearls of wisdom in the other. A true prick of our time.

        • I think you are on to something LL. We could crowd fund the fucker. St Gary donated by ISAC on behalf of a grateful nation. It would be the only time the cunt comes near the inhabitants he thinks so much about.

        • As the Private Eye Christmas floppy had it MANY years ago, “When you join the Common Market, stick an onion up yer bum”
          Someone should shove a whole sackful up that jug-eared twat Lineker’s. Freshly deep-fried. Then batter and deep-fry him, the CUNT.
          Saw that crisp ad the other pm, god it is bloody annoying.

      • I doubt Nelson was a racist. Although he may have supported colonialism he also had black Sailors in his crew. Probably shagged a few black birds in Jamaica back in the day and had a few black and white cunts.

        • I always thought Lord Nelson was gay! Kiss me Hardy is a good indication!
          In The book, Sins on the Open Sea- the Erotic History of Christian Voyages, it is stated that Lord Nelson, resorted to homosexuality.
          So any indication of the removal of this late great poof from his column will no doubt have thousands of similar people headed by Elton John and Peter Tatchell marching on 10 Downing street.

          • Issac Newton was almost certainly gay and by the way he treated Hooke, probably one of those really vicious little bitches.

          • When I lived in Narge, the rather nasty barracks-cum-knocking-shop red-brick monstrosity of a hotel opp. the station was called the
            “Swallow Nelson” I kid you not.

            I oft wondered if that was Hardy’s reply to the demand for a kiss ?

      • Give londistan what it wants!!
        Suckdick khunt should be crowned king and the abbotpotumus queen….
        Buckingham palace should be dismantled and moved to hackney!!
        Anything remotely associated with British history should be destroyed!! And all road names should be in Arabic!!
        I seriously hope some cunt doesn’t offer london a referendum?? The Cunts would probably say yes!!! 😂😂

        • Not while i have blood in my veins and breath to cunt . The south of London will rise again and put a stop to that bollocks if its ever tried .
          Different breed this side of the river mate , not like those yuppie north and west Londoners, And the Islamic east end shit hole.

          but have to admit there are to many fuckers here though of any colour or nationality every where and every place is fucking always rammed with people . Fucking nightmare trying to get anywhere unless it s 4 am on a Tuesday..

  5. What I want to know is why HGV’s are oblivious to these cameras, you’re in your car sticking to 50 or just above and some fat cunt in a lorry is up your arse like you are driving at 50 for the shit n giggles.

    • Don’t know if this will help B+W but two people I know who’ve been on this course were shown a video about perception.

      They both said at some point in the video a bloke in a monkey suit walks through the scene but nobody saw it at the time as they are concentrating on other things in the video.

      Watch out for the monkey….

      • I did one too, over four hours of patronising bollocks presented by two obviously well paid smug cunts of the highest order.
        I retreated into my Hannibal Lecter style memory palace…

      • Yeah, why should the insurance companies get all the cash, the filth want a piece of the action

        • The fee for mine went to the council.

          The insurance companies actually lose out because you don’t get prosecuted and get points on your license. So you don’t get your premiums hiked next renewal…

  6. More from those ‘wacky’ cunts at Manchester ‘Ciddy’… Their new ‘fans in the tunnel’ scheme is laughable… But will the Bitter Berties be actually gullible and daft enouth to pay to go in there? Of course they bloody will… Imagine paying 200 quid to watch a 20 year old lad ignore you as he walks past on his phone…. Absolute freaks…. Easily the biggest cunts in the game today… Just look at that picture… It’s a Smörgåsbord of mongs….


    • What a bunch of mugs, paying to be ignored so they can put a picture on their Twatter and Cuntbook profiles. At best they may get a smile (because the players have been asked to smile at them). What next? Pay to stand in goal and get the ball blasted at you. I shall be enjoying the football free of charge online.

      • Wonder if all those Bertie Blue mongs will be queuing up when Ciddy end up with cock all and Pep gets the sack?… Their new goalie is almost as much of a buffoon as Clownio Bravo… Mekon Kompany will conk out, Augero (admittedly good) will be over-relied on, and Bambi Stones will be rumbled against top opposition…

    • Football clubs are some of the most cynical business Cunts you will ever meet!!
      Religiously milking their fans for every penny they can squeeze them for, from £70.00 polyester shirts that change every 5 minutes to pushing ticket prices thru the roof!!, the fans are treated with utter contempt!!

  7. Thought it was a joke but no, the calls to remove Nelson from his column are real.
    Suprise, suprise it’s on The Grauniad’s website.
    Coming soon, HMS Victory being towed out to sea and scuttled followed by the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight being sent to the scrapyard, probably all live on the BB-fucking-C.

    • Amusingly, the Guardian’s website states that “more people than ever are reading it, yet advertising revenue is falling”
      Felt like I was being tapped up for a couple of quid….

      • The Grauniad will be dead in a couple of years (I hope)…. But some sort of war has to be declared on the PC and snowflake brigade at some point… Because if we don’t everything and anything will be be destroyed… We’ll end up with gender neutral goldfish, history will be wiped (ABBC archive style), and everyone will have a Mao style book: telling what to and what not to say… And if the great Geoff Boycott is now kow-towing to the ‘offended by everything’ PC mob, things really are bad…

          • He really came to prominence with his video, last September, criticizing the Canadian bill C 16 with makes it law to use transgender pronouns under hate speech laws and his opposition to the element of compelled speech within that (where will it end?) and SJW fuckwittery being instantiated into law.

            Then you stay on his channel for the rest of his stuff, fucking amazing thinker.

            Given that his Patreon account now has $60,000 pledged monthly, I think many people agree with him.

        • Grauniad is begging for money on its website.
          Why t f pay ?

          You can scrape shite off the pavement for owt…

          • I’d enjoy seeing Owen Jones and that Toynbee bint being scraped off the pavement after one of their peaceful chums introduced himself…

            by detonating…

      • The guardian was actually asking for donations recently?? I would be amazed if their figures have been rising, hopefully they will soon be history!!
        A paper written by Cunts and read (if it’s possible) by even bigger ones!!!

  8. If ever a person needed naming on this site it is Ms Jan Ditheridge chief executive of Shropshire Community Health NHS Trust. She has just refused a charity donation because the fund raisers were a group of burly men dressed up as nurses pushing a bed around the town. Ms Ditheridge said: “The presentation of men dressed as female nurses in a highly-sexualised and demeaning way is wrong, very outdated and insulting to the profession.”

    The bed-push fundraiser had taken place every summer for decades involving men from the local community and was “light-hearted”. The proceeds from this year’s event had been earmarked to provide ECG machines.

    Ms Jan Ditheridge has refused the £2,500 donation so should be publicly named and shamed on this site.

    • …then stuck in the stocks and pelted with dog shit.
      A candidate for Cunt of the Year if ever there was one…

      • If it was a bunch of transbender gender fluid pygmy Nigerian muslims in a burka it would be ok. These cunts should thank their lucky stars for every penny they get but its probably going to be spunked up the wall looking after freeloading health tourists anyway.

      • Fucking right. Heard about this shit on the radio this afternoon.
        My piss has been boiling ever since.
        I hope the thoroughly decent chaps who did the bed push tell her to stuff it.

    • How about a load of REAL nurses, but wearing skin-tight, saucy rubber nurses uniforms??

      That’ll get Ms Lather all dithered up.

      But she’s some dungaree-wearing rug muncher.

        • I hereby and formally nominate “Ms” Divvyridge as Cunt of the Year.
          Gotta be a winner, what a stupid humourless cunt…

    • According to Jan Ditheridge then,the protection of snowflake sensibilities is more important than life saving hospital equipment. What a nasty old mingebag cunt she must be. Hopefully the cunt will have an accident one day and spend hours on Casualty,preferably on a Saturday night with all the pissheads .

  9. I agrre with all that’s been said here about the average speed cameras.

    I nominate Cyclists for a cunting.

    Fucking hell they’re everywhere.
    Mainly middle aged men in rididulous luminous lycra riding expensive pushbikes and wobbling three abreast in the way of other traffic.
    Cunts all seem to think they’re in the Tour de France. Remarkable how a lot of the bikes have the name ‘Carrera’ on them. It’s probably what attracts the dickheads to those particular bikes in the first place…. wankers more than likely think they’ve got some sort of Porsche.
    In my day, you had a pushbike because you were:
    a/ A kid
    b/ A kid and not old enough for a motorbike
    c/ Poor.
    d/ All of the above.
    I hate these cunts. Please don’t tell me how environmentally friendly and healthy cycling is because I don’t give a flying one, I’ll carry on driving my old diesel 4×4 and riding a motorbike ( preferably 2 stroke) occasionally.

    • Hahahaha

      Can’t believe this cunting has come up.
      I was debating mentioning this or not as i don’t want cunters to think that i always get into fights, but i punched a cyclist only an hour ago.
      Him and his Lycra clad prick of a mate cut me off at a roundabout. I was on the roundabout and they cut in right in front of me.
      Fuck you cunts. Over took them skidded to a halt, got of my bike and asked the cunts “wtf?”.
      Some arguing ensued and i warned the cunt three times to stop prodding my chest.
      Three times and bash ya cunt.
      His mate tried to flag down some help as i got on my bike and fucked off.

      As some cunters know, i cycle practically every day but I’m doing it to bulk up for the fight back.
      I hate these Lycra helmeted cunts with a passion. Out in their multi colored cliques with there arses in the air thinking they’re slick.
      I have a cheap mountain bike, wear shorts, T-shirt, running shoes and a windbreaker in winter.

      If you see some cunt like that, he,like me, is probably doing it for his own fitness. If they are Lycra and helmet clad, attack the cunts.

      PS. I got the helmeted cunt on the chin. I bet he thought that wearing a helmet made him invincible.

      • Good on yer, Birdman. The last time someone jabbed me in the chest I didn’t warn him.When he went for the second jab I grabbed his finger ,broke it and nutted the cunt right on the bridge of his interfering nose….I got into a bit of bother with the law over that one,but I still think it was worth it. I hate people getting right up in my face.

        Sometimes violence is the only answer.

      • Too right. I’ve never had a problem with the pushbike itself and have even restored a couple of pre war Raleigh roadsters, but the cunts on the expensive racers with all the colourful gear and wrap around sunshades are a breed apart.
        Arrogant, know everything, middle class (mostly) and usually have a Range Rover Sport or Black Audi parked in their garden at home.

    • ….. and don’t give me the ‘green angle’, good for keeping down pollution etc. Bollocks …. round the country lanes here, you can guarantee there will be some would be Eddy Merckx cunt huffing and puffing his way up a twisty (slight) gradient …. and at least a dozen cars down into second or first gear chomping at the bit to get past the Cunt …. for miles at a stretch.

      • And what are bikes made of? Steel, alloy, plastic, rubber, in effect the same set of materials as the car, that still have to be produced, which is where the environmental impact comes from.
        The exhaust emissions from using the finished motor vehicle are negligible by comparison.
        And that last volcano that blew it’s top probably produced more “greenhouse gases” in half an hour than mankind has managed since the Industrial Revolution….


      If I drove a car on the pavements at the speed they cycle on them, I’d be put through the shredder, and rightly so (or 12 of the best from one of those mounted Cardiff WPOs…)

      Cycling on pavements is for real toddlers, not SJWs and VSs…


        • Also, the cyclists that don’t used the bloody cycle lanes which have been provided for them…usually created by nicking road width, and then the bell ends ride on the main carriageway. AAAARGH!

  10. So Gary Linekar, lily Allen, Benedict cumberbach, Jude law etc,etc,etc, what are your views on Afghan refugees and Eritrean refugees battling it out in Calais?

    I’ve been scratching my head trying to figure out how you can lay the blame at my door, but I’m stumped.

    What evil deeds could we have done to cause these children to turn on each other with weapons and also attack the police who were trying to save them from killing each other?

    I’m being sarcastic, obviously, but i wouldn’t put it past the cunts to blame us.

  11. Don’t forget they’re all National Treasures.

    No, sorry, a bunch of self serving cunts. Whale sized cunts.

  12. Funny how they had the hijab wearing Channel 4 fake newsreader to cover the trafalgar debate with that stuck up bitch from the guardian who brought this up and a Conservative commentator.2 against 1 nice!

  13. Even by their low standards the NOT SO Independent scrapped the barrel yesterday….. The headline??? It feels so embarrassing to be a brit abroad since brexit!!!
    Well here’s an idea Cunt move to your beloved EU and stop fucking bleating!!! unbelievable bollocks!!!

  14. There is a lot of cuntishness in the world, we all know that. A lot of it inspired by the media and all intended to to flog you something, we are flooded with bullshit. What’s really getting to me at the moment is selfie after selfie after selfie of funy enough self obsessed vacuous cunts. Pout, filter snap oh look another picture of some cunt who thinks Kim Kharpussycunt is the ultimate fucking role model. Sociall media is full of self obsessed cunts taking pictures of themselves and posting online where other self obsessed cunts will never see them because they all only care about looking at themselves the narcissist cunt gunges

  15. I want to nominate – NewSpeak no. 1: “Vulnerable” – for a cunting.

    Dictionary definitions – 1. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. 1.1 (of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.

    Cunt definitions – 1. A person or persons who, while ostensibly the subject of caring left-wingers, remain for the most part a resource for certain left-wing activities, or ammunition for a political agenda. 1.1 An adjective used to categorise a person or persons for further use in achieving a left-wing political goal.

    Examples –

    “These homeless people are vulnerable, let’s help them for one day to make us feel good about ourselves, then forget about them for the rest of the year.”

    “But the cyclist is vulnerable, so it can’t have possibly been their fault.”

    Cunting details –

    First of all of course there are vulnerable people (as in definition 1.) who require and duly receive help, from all people. This is good, and not the subject of this cunting. However, the nature of help that a certain type of lefty cuntbag – without enough self-awareness to see any kind of picture bigger than their own ego – likes to engage in, results in far less assistance for those that need it deserve, as their needs are absorbed into the whirlwind of ego-plumping, virtue signalling, and agenda bashing associated with such “help”.

    To wit, (and here is my primary example), in a moment of “Brave New World” shock, I heard the term “hierarchy of vulnerability” used by a lady (who’s intentions were obviously bad to anyone other than herself) regarding the subject of road safety. The idea was that a persons responsibility for road safety was inversely proportional to that persons vulnerability. So, no matter what the circumstances, a pedestrian was less responsible than a cyclist, who was less responsible than a car driver etc.

    To her, and possibly to many other cuntfaces, this makes perfect sense. “Yes”, they would say, “let’s make sure those horrid car drivers keep clear of the precious cyclists who can do no wrong. Oh won’t somebody think of the children!”

    But of course this only would make any sense if everyone was exactly the same – but they aren’t are they you stupid fuckin cunts. Everyone is different, and there are a lot of stupid and dangerous cyclists and pedestrians on the road, while there are a lot of sensible ones too. Just like there are likewise drivers and pedestrians.

    By unnecessarily classifying people as “vulnerable”, the result is that rather than their being a brave new world of safety and happiness for everyone (they are just trying to save lives remember), what actually happens is that those identified as vulnerable feel a undeserved and disproportionate sense of empowerment, and consequently act with less care, and more arrogance.

    This literally results in a reversal of the natural order – and this isn’t a coincidence. The humanist and vapid ideology behind liberal thinking can only gain traction if it is seen to be working towards something better than what we had before. Unlike religion, liberal humanism doesn’t have the power of the fear of the collapse of civilisation behind it that religion does – it has to invent its own, so its power is the fear of a lack of perceived (yet non-existent) “equality”, which activists (cunts) are required to continually gossip publicly about until the state (god) is required to intervene.

    So this is what vulnerability is mostly (there are exceptions) about for these bastard cunts. It’s about showing that this new utopia that they are creating is caring and appeals to the sympathetic urge in the short term. It doesn’t matter what the long term effects are, it doesn’t matter that cyclists run over red lights or undercut articulated lorries with impunity, paying for their life-taking risks with the entitlement afforded them by feel good bullshit propaganda. It doesn’t matter that school children walk in the middle of the road drunk on arrogance and ignorance while cars queue up behind them. No. As long as somebody feels that somebody cares about a victim group more than a perceived Victorian caricature, then someone (a cunt) can feel progressively more that there is some point to rewriting all the rules.

    How about homeless people, are they vulnerable? Are they bollocks. They’re fucking tough as shit to be able to not only put up with the weather, lack of food and security, and the chance of being vomited on by a group of Marxist Society students (it should be the other way around) – not to mention the sympathetic looks from experts in pretending to give a shit. Of course you could easily be under the impression that almost all homeless people are just down on their luck, and couldn’t help it, but only a deluded self-satisfied cunt would think that. People are different, some like the chaos, some aren’t capable of living with others, some are just twats. The point is, most of them probably don’t deserve our sympathy, and none of them fucking want it.

    But they are vulnerable, and so that means that hoards of do gooding twats will be up in arms anytime another sympathy slot comes up on BBC Breakfast (8.10am usually), a journalist needs something to do at the Guardian, or the Joseph Rowntree foundation needs to meet its monthly targets. Reality doesn’t matter – what matters is that there is a river of sentimentality flowing through the valley of homeless cyclists into the quango-mire of sympathy for more intervention by the state and state funded charities.

    As stated at the beginning, yes there are vulnerable people who really need help – so go fucking help them you cunts and stop going on about it. Oh and FYI helping them doesn’t include giving money to charities who spend almost all of their money on high street shops, huge offices, and advertising campaigns. It doesn’t mean making them feel like the world owes them a favour. It doesn’t mean using them for political gain. And it cunting well doesn’t mean liking anything on facebook or retweeting something.

    Fucking stop redefining language to make it suit your political agenda you ignorant, self-aggrandising cunts!

  16. Brilliant cunting. Once again it’s the old “fuck motorists in the arse” mantra. Much like anything else, the honest man gets shafted for going a few mph over the limit and has to pay through the dick for it. This really is a scrutiny-state where everyone is on camera everyday, unless they adopt a Bourne Ultimatum style way of thinking and manage to avoid the fuckers altogether.

    I got screwed for going 46mph in a 40mph limit….coming off a dual carriageway at 70mph, and the bastard camera was at the bottom of the hill on the exit-slip? Insult to injury, a few months later they took the cunt down? Fuck that.

    It frosts my piss how these anti-speeding superheroes constantly whine about “speed being the sole cause of accidents”. Fucking bollocks in a bargain bucket on that. The biggest cause of accidents is bad driving.

    Usually it’s either a doddering old giffer who passed their test in 1860, Johnny Foreigner who bought their licence in a back alley somewhere, fucking psychoville white-van-man who hasn’t got time to live, or the fucking mumsnetter in her old chap’s SUV cock extension on her way to a cunt Parents Association bitchfest. “My personalised place is C0 CK”. “I bet it is…because you fit all cunts”. What a load of autumnal wankery that needs to be pissed on.

    • Once, in a taxi nr Narge station, driver yelled out to some inbred – maybe even someone well known to us –
      “Get your license out of a cornflake packet ?? CUUUUNT !”

  17. Q. What’s the difference between a mobile speed camera and cunnilingus ?
    A. When you go down on yer missus, at least you get to see the cunt behind the bush….

  18. I would like leave to post a shorthand cunting for Chris Paton. More to follow. Just putting it out there.

    • Naz Shah,MP for Bradford West needs a cunting,the smug evil cunt. She has ‘liked’and then shared a post on Twitter which is apparently ironic and says that the Rotherham rape gang victims should shut up,for the sake of diversity. She now claims this was a mistake and that she has an unblemished track record challenging racism and discrimination (except the cunt has got previous for being anti-semitic). How do we get rid of these cunts? Yet Geoff Boycott is piloried.for suggesting,albeit crudely,that ethnic minorities are over represented in receiving awards.

  19. Fuck it, I did 147 MPH down the M180 last week , got stuck in traffic on the M1, so it averaged out to 70mph overall

  20. I had to attend one if those speeding semen-ars several years ago.

    Cost me £100 to avoid 3 points. As a penance, I had to listen to a couple of crusty old, retired ex-traffic cops pontificate like some unfunny Cannon and Ball double act on how purely evil it was to drive several mph over the limit. I was caught at 34mph in a 30mph limit early one Sunday morning and in unfamiliar territory.

    Unfortunately it was a day out of my life that I could not get back. Towards the end, the lead cunter invited questions from the participants. I seized my moment: “Could you explain to the participants of this seminar why the content of the seminar is seemingly preoccupied with speed as a key factor in RTAs when only 3% of RTAs in the UK involve excessive speed? Surely shouldn’t seminars such as these be seeking to address the bigger picture of the 97%”.

    Well, the old cunt coughed, spluttered and turned a slightly disturbing shade of crimson as he tried to explain that speed remains a significant killer.

    Silly old fucking cocksucking gibbon. Jobs for the boys – my £100 notes probably just about covered his steak noshup that evening. Spunkbubble D’Or.

      • Same here Dioclese 80 quid no points learnt a bit of stuff that’s been introduced since I passed had a good Q&A where most people took part the two running the course are driving instructors both of whom also ride motorbikes so understand that sometimes we speed. I understand some people hate them with a vengeance but you have two alternatives don’t get caught using BETTER OBSERVATION which is learnt on the course, or don’t do the course get a fine and points and higher insurance premiums. Simple.

  21. Determined not to be outdone in the race for the heights of technology, die Fuhrerin has just announced that the Master-Race is releasing a special edition of the Trabant: an electric version, called the Elektra.
    Batteries not included.

  22. I was racially abused by a fuzzy haired lady the other week, the cunt was doing 10 mile a fucking hour and stuck in the middle of the road so I couldn’t get past her, i’m sure our lords and masters give these cunts, who can’t drive a licence and car as soon as they get off the banana boat, the cunt called me a white bastard for putting my hands up and mouthing “what the flippin’ ‘eck lady”
    Ok, so she had a point, i’m white and i’m a bastard, but I was devastated, I really was. i’ll never call Paul Ince black cunt again, now I’ve been on the receiving end of vicious racism

  23. if it makes you all feel better i got a 380 dollar fine for an illegal u turn whilst parking to pick myself a kebab
    the kebab cost 10 bucks
    that is a cunt

  24. Just watching Daniel Hannan on BBC Hardtalk.The BBC presenter reckons he can outwit him but conceded he had been doing this a long time.

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