Can I nominate for a royal cunting Weatherspoons?
I have been told they are the reason for a few of my favourite locals being put out of action.
I refused to be drawn to such a mighty symbol of the globalist elite, putting hard working grubby locals out of business.
Problem is I went into one of the culprits yesterday and found Doombar to be £2 a pint, a bowl chips topped with goodness at £3 a bowl, the atmosphere was terrific and the décor superb.
This throws me quite the conundrum. One of my favourite moans is that it is impossible to go out on £20 and pubs have lost their atmosphere. I am now faced with choice between getting stung at my local or capitulating to the den of commercialism. For that dilemma weatherspoons are complete and utter cunts.
Also having re-read the above and realising that I am becoming a middle class yuppy makes them even bigger cunts on a personal level than before.
Nominated by bandwagoncunter.
It’s the piss-head’s favourite but a least they do carry decent “proper” beer alongside pig’s swill like John Smiths.
If you can get to the bar that is. Last Weatherspoon’s I went into, walking on the carpet was like walking on velcro wearing velcro shoes! I had to moonwalk out of the place!
7
The super rich are cunts. When they are not whining about how much tax they have to pay on their ill-gotten gains, they are polluting the atmosphere with their private jets. Or paying $22,000 for a fidget spinner.
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2017/07/09/the-22000-fidget-spinner/
3
What the fuck is the point of a fidget spinner? If someone is amused by one of those overpriced, useless little, shitspinners, then they have the IQ of a bottle of fairy liquid. Apparently, you even get them as an APP now. WHY? Because having a real one doesn’t make enough of a dumb cunt?
5
winner winner fidget spinner http://i.imgur.com/wjeVN3h.jpg
3
Save money on expensive fidget spinners by rooting through the bins at your local garage or motorbike shop for old wheel bearings.
(Viz style “Top Tip”)
4
Nothing wrong with a good Spoons. If you want fancy food and fancy prices fuck off up the Cafe Royal you posh fucking cunt. Not a cunt i say.
10
I was standing at the bar when an oriental gentlemen came in, stood right next to me and started drinking.
I looked at him and said “Do you do kung fu?”
He said “No”..
“How about taekwondo?”
Again he said “No”…
“Karate? Judo? any martial arts at all?..
He replied “No, none, are you asking just because I’m Chinese?”
“No, I’m asking because you’ve just drunk my pint”…
29
Fuck Wetherspoons.
I was persuaded once,against my better judgement,to “Gan te Spoony’s,it’ll be canny.”…It fucking wasn’t canny,it was a shitehole. First thing I saw as we went in was a gang of motorised Lard-Arses circling a low table groaning under plates of burgers and chips. Circling their prey like Indians round a wagon train,they seemed to be using their cripple chariots to barge a group of gummy pensioners off the next table,presumably to make room for more buckets of swill.
Having got past the coffin-dodgers and the salad dodgers we then entered what I still believe to be an extension to the benefits office. Moon-face, tattooed,pierced,slovenly women sat at one end of the room with their double-prams and squalling brats on reins staring at their mobile phones while their equally tattooed,pierced and slovenly boyfriends and “Baby-Daddies” all stopping talking to each when we walked up to the bar. “Yer ok Lads, we haven’t come to offer you a job” I bellowed at them in an attempt to be friendly. They didn’t seem to appreciate my ice-breaker,but it may just have been the sight of men in work gear that silenced them.
“Five pints of Snecklifter” I barked at the poofter with purple hair behind the bar,still got no idea if it was male or female. It replied with something about there being a queue…. “Bollocks to that Ducky, I’m paying with real cash,not dole tokens..bet you don’t see much of that in here,eh?” seemed to do the trick and to mutterings from the claimants clan,we were served.
We went and sat at a table only for the real problem to arise. Just across from us was a group of office looking types who’d ordered some poncy toasted-sandwich,which they called “bagette”(pretentious arseholes) with chips. Fuck me if the bastards didn’t drench their chips in vinegar!!! Well,as any drinker knows,nothing wipes the head off a pint quicker than the smell of vinegar. “Fucks Sake, Penfold,there’s a chippy down the street,why don’t you fuck off there if you want chips,this is meant to be an ale-house” I demanded of one four-eyed strip of piss… No answer..but one hard-faced old bag shot off to find the manager. The manager turned out to be a slip of a lassy who looked to be about 12 years old.. Clever move…It’s far harder to tell someone like that to fuck off. She spoke to one of the lads,not me,and asked him to get the “foul-mouthed,old bigot” out of the place. Well, I was gob-smacked at this example of poor customer service and told her that she could stick her beer up her fucking minge…Rude woman.
We downed our pints and went to leave,but happily I managed to grab a “bagette” off the office parties table as the lads shuffled me out, I was quite peckish by that time,and as I said to the porky lass whose toasty it was, she’d had a few too many sarnies in her life already.
Never been back,they’ll have to improve their attitude towards customers before I’ll darken their doors again.
20
Sat in a Wetherspoon now availing myself of the festival ciders. It is full of cunts, but it’s cheap and that makes me a cunt as well.
5
It’s quite a conundrum. My spoons takes ages to order as they insist on having four members of staff behind the bar, one serving and three arranging glasses. Their cider festival is quite good. The conclusion being able to vomit in various fruity flavours.
5
Ah yes, ginger puke. Steer well clear of the added fruit based ciders, I don’t do cocktails in a Spoons.
3
TBH at least you know what you’re gonna get in spoons, food and booze are cheap and generally alright, of course the low prices attract a disproportionate amount of Cunts but I’ve had the odd night in them without complaint….
Certainly would never make one my local thou, prefer old boozers with atmosphere……
7
….and there’s no fucklng “music” in a Spoons. If you want to listen to some Yank spade bragging about shooting some copper fuck off to Yankieland and fucking stay there you arsehole.
5
Fuck all wrong with Wetherspoons. Good beer and prices. Food not great but you get what you pay for. Beats paying 1£ pint more in my local for ale that is often off and usually cloudy. (I drink cask beer)
And isn’t the Wetherspoons boss a staunch Leaver?
It is the Pub Cos that are killing local pubs with overpriced supplies and restrictions to trade. Wetherspoons have seen the gap and it benefits the consumer. The cunts.
8
I don’t go to pubs at all, because I can’t stand pissheads. But having said that Wetherspoon boss Tim Martin is a Brexiteer, so long may his business flourish.
14
There are three of them in the centre of Manchester. The one near Piccadilly is full of foreign cunts who have no clue how to behave in a civilised manner. And that’s while they’re sober. The one near Deansgate is full of chavs and the third has pretentions of being an upmarket bar, which is usually full of lefty, Manchester City Council arseholes, who spend most of their time fretting about the plight of “asylum seekers”. It’s a shame really, because they could all be really nice watering holes.
9
The Paramount isn’t too bad. The moon under water is full of cheap slags and cunts in my opinion.
2
And Citeh fans – which makes it all the less tolerable. I was shooting the breeze with a bouncer next door at the Living Room who told me there is a kick off in the moon under water EVERY weekend, usually involving spades and the Cheetham Hill gang settling scores from the previous week. At that point and almost by magic the huge front doors of the MUW exploded outwards followed by a gang of pissed up Asians / slopes / locals trading punches with the bouncers looking on in sheer terror. Into the middle of Deansgate and stopping the traffic in both directions. Top scrap – but what a fucking dive. There is one in Preston, quite a few in at 09.00 drinking cider, Stella and Guinness. Even as an ex matelot I cant get my head round boozing at 9am.
2
My Dad went to the one on Salford Quays and said it was one of the best steaks he’d ever had.
Low standards, that man.
4
Serious question: Is Weatherspoons a relatively new thing? I ask because I left the UK in 2001 and I don’t remember these pubs being around then. I only know the name because Mike Parry keeps banging on about them on The Two Mikes show on Talksport.
Pubs are one of the things I miss most. It’s all wanky ‘sports bars’ here, with blaring shite music, way too many huge screen TVs showing utter bollocks that Americans think is sport and of course the Yanks themselves, yelling at each other because conversation is a competitive sport over here. You can’t get decent crisps either in any of these places. There’s nothing like a decent pint, bag of cheese & onion, corner table and some peace and quiet.
11
Hey Imitation Yank, long time.
I don’t know them either, even though i do come back every now and then.
I don’t drink but do venture in pubs with acquaintances and all i see here are two types.
One full of posers who are all engaged in pissing contests and the others are full of expats with shaven heads engaged in pissing contests.
As i said about pubs the other week, it’s just an adult version of a school playground.
Have a nice day, Imitation Yank. 🙂
1
Hey birdman! Yea, long time. Been tres busy and have missed some corkers of cuntings. Ah well, they’ll come round again I’m sure.
Got a trip home booked for September and we’re staying in a ……pub! How convenient is that? We’ve stayed there before and it does get busy particularly on weekends and does tend to attract knobends. I’ll fit right in then! 🙂
Decent beer, proper crisps, sausage rolls, Hula Hoops, English chocolate, Rich Tea biscuits, tea made with English milk (English tea made with Yank milk is a poor substitute), steak & ale pie, proper bacon, Anchor butter and no American accents (apart from the wife). Ahhh, the list goes on. I’m training hard to drop a few so I can put them all back on again when I’m back. 🙂
I’ll do my best to have a nice day – you too. Cheers – I.Y.
4
Allegedly Weatherspoons buy up a lot of their beer at knock down prices from the big breweries because it’s near it’s sell buy date.
That probably accounts for the guts ache I get when I drink their ale.
3
Not true . It might have been at the start up but definitely not now. A friend knows one of the bosses and put that rumour to him, he said that their buying power now is enormous and they get the best prices for any beer ; who wouldn’t want to sell to them?
Two of our local Spoons are very good ,the beer is silly money compared and the breakfast is excellent.
It shows what a thieving bunch of greedy fuckpigs the big companies that own most pubs have become. They deserve a supercunting for the prices they charge and the vicious terms tenants have to work under..
It’s a monopoly for most drinkers who only have a local , cunts all.
1
My local Weatherspoons clientele is made up of Chavs, Pikeys and very old men with piss stained trousers, theirs even one cunt who keeps his personal tankard behind the bar , I thought that cuntish practice went out in the early 80’s, he is king of the local Pikeys so the young staff who all look about 15 don’t argue with him
2
That’s not piss stains on my trousers you cunt. It’s organic dhal from my wholefood deli.
6
Just joined Facebook so i can follow Tommy Robinson.
I have never done Facebook before.
I befriended the missus and then all of a sudden i was inundated with all her friends and family wanting to befriend me.
I don’t think i’ll last long on this. I already feel vulnerable, what with me being paranoid and that.
I don’t want to know anything about anybody that doesn’t usually talk to me in the real world, but now I’m on Facebook, they all want me to tot up their number of ‘friends’.
I told her that I’m befriending them all and she ain’t happy as its rude, but effing hell fire, it doesn’t stop.
Message after message of nothing.
Wait till i bore them about my budgies.
Anybody looking to tot up their numbers. 🙂
6
Never done Facebook, never would. Not because I’m a technophobe but because the random spastic postings of media fed, narcissists is not something I have the stomach for.
However, I hear it’s the only way of getting laid since real live socialising has been made a thing of the past.
6
Its a tightrope.
I pressed like on a couple of EDL posts and the ‘befriended’ all got to hear about it.
I’m sure they’ll unfriend me soon enough.
On a brighter note, my nephew enjoys his soup.
Yep, i was informed my nephew enjoyed his soup. Complete with photo.
I despair.
8
I joined it because I was told that you could look people up without them knowing. I’ve never posted anything,but I do enjoy looking up people from the past and seeing how badly most of them have done. I found one who I was actually engaged to for a while…Fuck me, I had a lucky escape there,she looked about 100 years old. However,on a more positive note, a lot of people of about my age seem to have daughters in their twenties,and if you can be bothered to wade through the happy family pictures,there are occasionally a few bikini snaps worth looking at.
7
Their lives have ultimately been worthwhile if its product is good wank material.
3
At fuckin last somebody has found a positive use for Facebook….. 😂
4
I have a made up Facebook name so I can comment on a rugby site which only accepts comments from facebookedcunts.. I have no ‘friends’ nor do I want any but fuck me some cunt in America wants to be my friend. I don’t fucking exist and the name should be a giveaway. What the fuck is going on?
2
Mrs Fistula got me to join up with Facebook a couple of years ago. I closed the account after a couple of months being bombarded by idiots telling me what shoes they just bought and will i be their friend.
I could not stand the exposure i put my self under, the lack of privacy, it seems to be for people seeking attention.
And now you really have to be careful what comments you make on there, being pissed one night and sending the wrong opinion could quite easily result in loosing your job or landing your self in Chokey.
As fellow cunters on IAC have some strong opinions i would stay well away from Facebook Birdman. That late night drunken comment could cause a lot of misery.
See this, its been posted before on here
https://sussex.police.uk/news/shoreham-man-jailed-for-stirring-up-religious-hatred-in-facebook-posts/
4
Fuck me, I wonder if he’s a contributor to this site. If not,he should be. I’d be keen to hear his views…looks like a likely type to go for a pint with too.
2
I was removed from the facebook 007 movie page for giving honest opinions (with no foul language whatsoever) of Daniel Craig and Barbara Broccoli, along with their efforts at making 007 filums.
I subsequently removed myself from facebook altogether after finding out that most of my “friends” were braindead, liberal celeb-worshipping, believe any old shit if it’s on a screen, fairy dust and unicorn merchants and hopeless cunts.
My REAL friends are a phone call or short drive away anyway.
Fuck facebook.
Oh and wetherspoons are bland corporate plastic refuges for chavs and pensioners, but the prices are good and the food acceptable. I have lunch with me old dad there now and then…
4
Daniel Craig is a whinging, miserable, face like a snacked arse dwarf cunt…
2
Can guarantee that he was dobbed in, not by muzzers, but by his own Facebook friends, or at least somebody wanting to settle an old score.
Big Brother is watching you on Facebook alright, in the form of an ex-mate.
1
Where it says ‘comment’, my first thought was to cunt every Facebook user.
Hours later, and that’s still all I’ve come up with.
3
That’s what happens when you call yourself Julian. They call them rugger buggers for a reason.
2
I admit I am one of the cunts that drink in Weatherspoons. But if you live in Brighton & Hove it’s either that or going to some trendy hipster pub where you pay between £5 and £7 a pint for slop that tastes like it’s been resting in a bucket for a week.
These Pubs are full of liberal bearded lefties all pontificating about the over priced beer and making smug digs at Donald Trump.
So when it comes to choice I would choose Weatherspoons where the booze is cheap, the food is ok and plenty of racist homophobic Islamophobic sexist banter.
9
That sounds like my kind of pub Fenton !
2
Horseflies are cunts….
As we live in front of a field with horses these cunts appear in the summer… As I was walking to the shops down our public footpath/lane I felt a sting on my left arm… One of those brown ugly little fuckers had attached itself… I slapped fuck out of it and squashed the bastard, but the vicious little cunt had bitten and drew blood… Put a bit of TCP on it but I got the shivers and I felt like shit this morning… Horseflies really are fucking evil cunts…
8
For some reason I’m a draw for beetles when at the beach.
These little things seem to bite me and only me.
I read somewhere that beetles are attracted to dead bodies.
That’s got me worried.
As for a horsefly, i truly don’t know what one is or looks like.
I bet their saddles are tiny. 🙂
4
Wasps too, just weaponised bluebottles. Little flying bastards…
2
I do know what a horsefly is, but i know it as a ‘CLEG’.
Yeah Norman, Cleg(g) is a cunt.
2
So the wigheaded whoremongering one has gone… No doubt we’ll have endless ‘Dream move’ and ‘My Boyhood club’ bullshit from Wazza… Not unlike Fanny Lineker’s ‘love’ and ‘loyalty’ to Leicester… But back to Rooney: Staff at Lymm McDonalds have now been threatened with the sack if they speak about Rooney’s regular nugget orders… Be sure not to mention it…. Still, nuggets are lot cheaper than takeaway he that dwarf cunt Owen ordered during preseason in Far East in 2009… Numerous, er, dishes ordered in especially…
Lock up your grandmothers… Wayne’s back in town….
1
Its even better than yer prediction, Norman, it’s pyjamas.
Thirteen years wearing Everton pyjamas.
Jeezo bambino, that will take some beating.
Pyjamas ffs. 🙂
1
Once a granny-interfering, overweight twat revelling in mediocrity, always a granny-interfering, overweight twat revelling in mediocrity,
The England fans rightfully booed you, because you were rubbish, you millionaire pikey.
3
Being something of a cunt myself I know what to look for in an utter cunt and the last time I frequented a Wetherspoons is was choc-a-fucking-block full of cunts like me. I’ll have nothing to do with a boozer that lets cunts like me through the front doors so, on that tentative basis, I declare Wetherspoons to be direly in need of a proper good cunting … for not implementing a no-cunt-policy, if nothing else.
7
A Cunting for Guy Opperman MP.
I’ve followed this devious little spunk-bubble’s career since the start. He managed to get himself wormed in to a safe tory seat,and obviously is destined for big things in the Conservative party. He has been made a minister in the DWP,where he announced that he understood about zero hours contracts because he’d once worked as a £250 per hour barrister,where work couldn’t be guaranteed every day. Oh,the hardship…don’t know how he managed to survive.
The prick’s latest announcement trumps his thoughts on zero hours contracts. He has suggested that women in their 50s and 60s who have had their pensions put back should consider taking up an apprenticeship and retrain for a new career! I wonder who he thinks is going to train a bunch of middle aged women in a new trade? Perhaps he imagines a whole new battalion of blue-rinse brickies and chippies taking on the task of building new luxury pads for the “poor refugees” that his party continues to let flood in.
Mark my words, Opperman is destined for the top. He has Cuntitude in abundance to really make a top politician. He also recently married his “girlfriend”,which stopped the totally unfounded rumours regarding his preferences. This was particularly important in this rural constituency which still complains about a previous tory MP, Alan Amos,who had to stand down after a particularly distasteful episode at somewhere on Hampstead Heath known as “The Gobbler’s Gulch.”
I want to get the first Cunting in at Amos,but I reckon,over the years to come,it certainly wont be the last….. Oh,and the cunt also reports every abusive e-mail to the local police…
3
So the C of E have decided to “accept” the trannie benders. So whatever happened to THE WORD OF GOD? If you believe in a fairy story you can’t keep changing it just to attract more dimmos. The Church of England, up to their necks in the slave trade and still one of the biggest landowners in the country. Er…..i think i want to nominate this bunch of hypocritical fucking bastard cunts.
7
I is a Jewish poof but this hard left anti Christian agenda has to stop. If you want to change sex that is not an issue. Just get on with it and stop trying to force people to embrace it. The CofE has it’s beliefs so if you do not agree with it:stay away.
2
Vince Canle is a fucking cunt. He is predicting Brexit won’t happen. I predict he won’t be PM.
But he will remain a top remainer cunt.
Creepy cunt
6
Vince cable always looks like he’s got an awful smell under his nose.
1
He looks like a middle-class vampire. Are they into double figures yet? Still, the World’s greatest misnomer – The Liberal Democrats.
1
A Romanian friend of mine has a shrine to Nigel Farage.What a top lass!
9
To change topic completely…
What is it with the American obsession of using the word ‘super’ to modify an adjective!! “It’s super fast. It’s super clean. It’s super great.”
I can’t watch a single video on Youtube without hearing it at least once every 5 minutes. It drives me nuts!
Americans. A bunch of super cunts.
3
Super dupa mega hyper choca bloca aisles.
Whats with ‘toast’ ?
“He’s toast”, “she’s toast”, “it’s toast”.
Football pundits use it a lot, and I’m not sure what it means when a player is toast.
I like toast, so maybe it means ‘good’.
I’m sure ‘toast’ from America.
Utter shite.
2
Super post M8 death to america!
3
Too right Birdman;and what”s this bollocks “crashed out”,when someone loses or is knocked out of a competition? Cunts these commentators are.Oh,and what the fuck is an “assist” in football?It”s a PASS.for cuntybollocks sake…………..Cunts………………Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah(c)
4
Yes and the first thing a yank says on a YouTube video is Hey guys what’s up ???
3
Fuck, yes! Drives me nuts. Then you can guarantee within two minutes flat he will be using the term “literally” and referring to the collective of EVERYTHING as “bunches.”
0
never been in a weatherspoons so cant comment but surely any juicer that sells cheap piss regardless of clientele is a good thing no?
facebook on the other hand is a massive super cunt as are all its users sad sorry cunts
2
High volume low margin. Usually full of old people pissing up their pensions…
1
Wetherspoons are alright. Yes, they’ve all got that farty odour, yes you can feel chip fat in the air, yes you have to wade through swathes of chunky-monkeys and yes, the punters aren’t the most articulate charmers using a salad of lexical prowess, but the ale is cheap.
Good for a warm-up at the very least and, as has been said earlier, the owner fought on the correct side in the Great Referendum victory of 2016.
1