Have I Got News For You. (HIGNFY)

I would like to nominate Al-BBC staple Have I Got News for You for a cunt-therapy session. Therapy for my benefit of course, not fucking theirs.

Not only has this satirical cuntfest gone well past its sell-by date, it has fermented into an unrecognisable, putrid mass in the fridge crisper. Choice vegetables of course in this salad o’shite being Ian Hislop, Paul Merton and whichever liberal elite comedians happen to be out-cunting themselves each week as the ‘guest’ hosts.

Confession time – back in the 90s, I used like this show. I remember Paula Yates and Piers Morgan on respective episodes getting a good old cunting. That Bruce Forsyth terrorist card game was funny. The William Shatner one wasn’t bad. But the show is now just a sorry fucking self-parody tribute act. What is worse, is that like anything from the Al-BBC post 2008, it has been infested with divisive neo-lib rhetoric and goes hand-in-hand with the very fucking worst dregs you find nodding sagely to Polly Toynbee columns in the Guardian.

The political agenda is barely concealed – all parties might be mocked but it is evident where the bread is buttered by noting who gets a real kicking. Unsurprisingly, plenty of pro-EU/anti-Trump/pro-immigration bollocks can be heard within each episode; topped off with the crowd of blue-haired quinola-scoffing hemp-wanking fucktards in the audience, who have taken to cheering anything pro-EU.

I no longer watch this shitfest, but in a moment of ill-judged stupidity I tuned in for the 2017 post-election special. What a fucking monumental mistake that was. Leading the charge as host was Jo Brand: a perfect fucking encapsulation for what the corporation champions as a box-ticking ‘comedian’ and amazingly, not even the most unfunny cunt with that surname. Ian Hislop as ever doing his indignant lectures that were once cutting and revealing, but are now just dull rambling speeches into cuntdom, delivered with a constantly bemused face which is so delightfully punchable – his head is increasingly resembling a cancerous potato. Central to the shit-mix is Paul Merton, who once upon a time at least had irreverent timing and wit, now reduced to a randomly barking shitheel whose outbursts are neither funny nor indeed fucking relevant. Guests this episode were Alan Johnson – a fucking member right down to his own surname – and Ross Noble, a truly unfunny rambling fucker whose head and sigmoid colon make a perfect geometric fit.

To be fair, HIGNFY is far from the only show that has been politicised beyond any humour; but it is one of the worst and most dramatic examples of right-on hijacking that I can think of. Plus, the ‘guest’ host list could be worthy of a cunting all on its own. A special place in cunting hell is reserved for the likes of Victoria Coren-Mitchell, her chinless fucking husband David, Alexander Armstrong, Miranda Hart and fucking Eddie ‘Top Cunt’ Izzard. Every single one of these bastards boils my piss into supercritical steam.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.

221 thoughts on “Have I Got News For You. (HIGNFY)

  1. I WOULD LIKE TO NOMINATE PROTESTERS for a thorough and merciless CUNTING.

    Seeing hordes of these socialist shitkickers on the ITV News last night, protesting about the Grenfell tragedy with their political slogans on their banners ‘end government austerity’.

    I tell you what, you soapdodging, beany hat wearing, rag wearing, blue haired, arsehole acrobats, why don’t you get a job instead of trying to be activists? They interviewed one cunt on there who was clearly not the full turnip; he described himself as an ‘activist’ and ranted on about how Kensington Council had failed everyone. Then he promptly broke down in tears.

    Years ago, loops like this would have been tranquillised and would have been resident in a nice padded room. Most of these nut bars are attracted to pied piper Corbyn’s tune for promises of more money, courtesy of taxes on the ‘rich’.

    If cunts like this got off their arses and concentrated on making themselves a living instead of their ambition stretching to one of self appointed community mouthpiece, then perhaps this country might see an change in fortune.

    • Seconded. These animals wander from one disaster site to the next, protest against anything that represents normal or traditional values, and actually have no purpose in their otherwise meaningless lives.

      Appropriate time to cunt these Bastards!

  2. Michael Mansfield (the human rights lawyer) was speaking at public Grenfell Tower meeting. KERCHING!

    • Michael Mansfield’s cv comprises a litany of wronguns who he has defended during his career.

      Michael Barrymore and James Hanratty are two prime examples of the indefensible.

      Silly old cunt.

      • Remember John and Yoko’s ‘Justice For Hanratty’ campaign?….
        It was almost as bad as their IRA arselicking, and sucking up to Rachman enforcer and murderer, Michael X… Fucking pair of cunts…

      • I was only just born when john lennon was killed outside his multi-million dollar flaty thing. I remember my Mum mentioned him about five or six years later, and saying what a pig he was to his first wife. (my Mums words)

        I looked his wife up a few years later, she was gorgeous, and read that the drunken, drugged up cunt was always knocking her about. Why he left her for ugly, ugly, ugly old yoko is beyond me, but I bet she was glad to be shot of the cunt. The cunt.

        If john lennon is not on here, he should be… the scarse cunt.

    • That thoroughly egregious Brexit denying cunt Jolyon Maugham QC (in his case that means Quality Cunt) has also offered his services for free.

      A total cunt with a infinitely punchable boat race.

      • Jolyon Maugham QC is another 24 carat cunt!! That’s the prick who tried to use the orish courts to thwart brexit!! The expression a picture paints a 1000 words Has never been more appropriate , take a look at him and instantly you think ABSOLUTE CUNT !!

      • His day job is helping movie stars avoid paying tax, just about the most cunty job going. I wonder if he represents Lily the musical mong or her cunt of a father?

        His legal challenge is based on the principle that we have all made a huge mistake and we should have the chance to reverse it. Presumably that means another referendum. And presumably if we make the same mistake yet again we would have another, and another and another until we vote the correct way and agree with him and his rich clients.

        What is it about democracy that these cunts do not get?

  3. Diane Abbott is back…………HURRAH, one of the great political icons of the 21st century.

    Cunt!

  4. I have no doubt at all that at this very second there are dozens of peacefulls plotting to indiscriminately slaughter the people of a country which has taken them in and given them a decent home and a future for their kids and that hundreds more know about their plots but will not report them because they all believe in the same sky fairy.

  5. The counter terrorism services have to after the mosques, imams and hate preachers and cut the head off the snake. This is easier said than done with every piece of legislation put forward is fought by cunts like Corbyn crying about victimisation and human rights, any cunt who bite the hand that feeds them, very generously, has no rights.

    There are no ‘moderate’ peacefuls just less extreme and better at hiding their true colours, they would incorporate Sharia Law, superseding our democratic values in a heartbeat.

  6. Lily Allen is stuck on permanent retard mode, after the mosque attack she twatted ‘ radicalised by the British Media # Finsbury Park.’ Yes of course you stupid cunt its Richard Littlejohn and The Daily Mails fault. A truly ignorant, ugly slug of shite.

  7. Lilly the musical mega mong has opened her fucking mouth again….does this retarded cunt never learn,surely she must have an adviser who,s job it is to stop her from making a total cunt of herself, if she hasn’t she fucking needs one….
    Do us all a favour you muppet I’m sure you can afford to retire and fuck off to sunnier climes….like the sun.

    • fruit flies quite bright, and have good taste in booze.

      Years ago, was sitting in the garden with a glass of Maker’s Mark, saw a FF floating around in it. I helped it out on my finger, and it sat on the rim of the glass. I was wondering how such a small thing could survive swimming in a bath of alcohol when… it hopped back in again, consumed its own weight, and flew off quite happily…

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