Lynton Crosby

What a fuck up this Tory manifesto is. So much for this Lynton Crosby cunt, the so-called campaign manager, who couldn’t manage to put the fucking cat out. The Tory cunts could do all those things without putting them in the manifesto. But this wanker “expert” knows best. I seem to remember another marketing cunt, hired by Cameron, who made a complete fuck up of the referendum campaign. In the world of marketing you have a couple of successes and you walk on water………until you are exposed as the chancer you really are. In the words of the late, great Bill Hicks…….”If you’re in marketing kill yourself………no, seriously……kill yourself.”

Nominated by Freddie The Frog

178 thoughts on “Lynton Crosby

  1. Hey I work in marketing! 🙂

    Only small businesses though so no overpriced, overrated, cuntitude on the level of this twat though.

    If I had to give Teresa may any marketing advice it would be this:
    Shut the fuck up.
    You’ve won.
    You couldn’t lose to these twats unless you murdered babys and fucked animals.
    …even then it’d still be close.
    Let them talk and fire the odd broadside, but on the whole just SHUT THE FUCK UP!

    ..and don’t promise anything coz it’ll fuck you later.

    Well cunted Freddie, this guy is a cunt.

  2. Bloody Convict.

    Talking of which, I see Rolf Harris is free after less than three years. God’s tits, what is the point of a Justice system? Fucking depressing.

    • During that Olympic level paedo hunt a few years back, I’m surprised that the police didn’t interview bungle, zippy, Geoffrey and George about their “twanger”.

    • Rolf Harris may be free for the moment, but he’s spending his first day of “freedom” in Court where he’s on trial for more sexual assaults on young girls. Hopefully the pedo cunt will be back behind bars before too long.

      • The Beardy bellend should have had his rolfaroo sterilised. ‘Can you guess what it is yet’? Hopefully a 10 stretch cunt.

      • There is an inJustice here in that Rolf was only the tip of the iceberg. All the facilitators have escaped justice so far except Max Clifford who was a pimp to the stars. The swamp is massive.

    • Harris is a bit unlucky,if he’d been called Mohammed he’d never have been prosecuted. Chasing after a bunch of geriatric “celebs”,while STILL turning a blind eye to the endemic paedophilia of the muslim and Establishment perverts.

      • Stoat-the-baw cunt.

        I always knew he was a cunt. He made a series about great painters and one of them was some Spanish cunt who loved painting bull fights so there was Rolf saying what a wonderful spectacle bull fighting is. I wrote to his production company and the BBC complaining that it was a bit rich of the cunt to be praising a cruel blood sport while making dosh presenting that vet show. Never got a reply. Cunt.

      • Spot on. If he said he had converted to the peaceful religion before he went before the beak, wore a long shirt, sandals and got a deep tan from a uv light in his cell then none of this unpleasantness would have been bestowed upon the old nonce.
        He obviously had no advice on how to fuck the system from mo and Abdul on the peaceful wing.

      • With you on that one DF, bang up a couple of elderly nonces just to look like your doing something so you can carry on ignoring the fuckfest that is islam and its treatment of young white girls. Anyway Ramadam soon can’t wait.

  3. never trust a cunt with the first name Lynton
    or Rolf for that matter
    cunts the pair of em

  4. Smart man. He advises both sides in any campaign , and sometimes even at the same time. Example, recent campaign activities showed that Crosby was offering advice and consultancy to both Labour and Conservative. He’s not picky, anyone with cash will do. His most recent failure was managing the campaign for the Conservatives in the London Mayoral election. The Labour candidate ( Citizen Khan ) won.! Crosby is a typical product of todays political scene. A locust mentality to exploit thick arsed politicians, and advise them on how to WIN an election. Clever when you advise BOTH sides. The man is a cunt, a clever cunt, so fucking clever in fact, that he could advise these thick cunts to run off a pier and they would.! So why the fuck doesn’t he ? And give us all some peace ? Ahh! its the favourite noise that he likes to hear….KERRRCHINGGGG!

    • PS. That cunt Jonathan Batley of the Green Party who happened to be on question time last night is a fucking useless cock sucking sanctimonious shite of ginormous proportions…apologising on behalf of this country. that we ONLY spend 0.7% of GDP on Overseas Bung and Graft Money, and he wishes it were more! And fuck me…the NORFOLK audience applauded and loved it!!
      He is a cunt….but also the fucking audience are cunts..whoever let them out of their bottles last night should be fucking sacked…Cunts

      • Most leftie arseholes who quote 0.7%GDP deliberately portray this as a miniscule figure.

        What the pricks cannot see through their miasma of munificence is that taking a proportion of GDP is pretty much irrelevant when the country is 4 trillion pounds in debt and we are running an annual deficit of several billion.

        For every pound we lovingly splurge on these fly blown countries, where the inhabitants communicate with no more than clicks and whistles, we have to borrow two pounds. This increases our national debt and has more of these Marxist fuckers vowing to ‘soak the rich’ with yet more fucking taxes.

        Political insanity and it is only Jacob Rees Mogg who has the cojones to speak common sense on this matter. We do not pay politicians to confiscate our earnings to spend on pet aid projects abroad. If people like Michael Sheen want to give to such causes then they can do this by charitable donations.

        If I hear yet another leftie cocksucker whinge on that 0.7% GDP is an insignificant amount of aid and we could afford more, I will lob a brick at the TV.

        • Good cunting…. politicians are fuckin slippery cunts, some worse than others but slippery they are, massaging the figures and as you correctly say the 0.7% is still a lot of money, my pet hate is the misdirection regarding our bulging population… The liberal Cunts and lovers of mass uncontrolled immigrantion will always use the Uk land mass for the equation knowing full well it’s England bearing the brunt…
          Britain land mass is 209, 000 Km/2 population 65 million this put us somewhere in the top ten most densely populated group 1 European countries, the figures they never mention are
          Scotland 80,000 km/2 … 5 million …. empty
          And the killer
          England 130,000 km ….. 55 million people!… rammed….
          No wonder we are feeling it, that puts us at NO1 by someway, a jaw dropped 423 people per sq km!!! Holland trailing behind with 405….
          The lefties and liberal Cunts hate those dirty figures……
          it’s a human tsunami on all services , roads, hospitals etc etc and no Cunt knows how to fund it!!! Other than MORE TAX !!

          • Good point. Overpopulation is the elephant in the room .No fucker wants to talk about what is so fucking obvious in this country. David Attenborough is the patron for the optimum population trust and he says another 50 years of this and we’re going to be fucked , it’s just not sustainable.
            Peacefuls and Polaks breed like rabbits , a fucking virus on the planet.

          • Socialisim and its forerunner Fabianism always advocated culling the human race. You can fuck right off with that shit.

      • Any overseas budget should be reduced to zero. What the fuck are we doing making expenditure cuts in our country, and still paying out tens of millions in overseas aid. The concept of “charity begins at home” seems to have been lost here.

        • Exactly!

          As soon as we have a surplus then, and only then, should we consider being generous to the rest of the world, and, those parts of the world which deserve to be helped.

          A few years back Nepal was hit with a 7.8 earthquake which killed thousands and left tens of thousands homeless. It was reported at the time – for about a week or so – and Cameron chucked a token few million of aid over and that was it.

          The area most severely affected is still fucked, with people there still living in temporary accommodation (tents) and during all kinds of freezing weather yet you hear fuck all about that. Why?

          Because while Nepal is very far from being a rich country its people are noble, get on with it and don’t expect handouts from the rest of the world!

          Rather than piss money away on lost causes in Africa run by despotic leaders who annex said aid, we should give it to folk like the Nepalese who won’t piss it up the wall, who’s leaders would use it for the greater good and who wouldn’t continually be holding out their begging bowls like the African nations after 40yrs and billion after billion after billion of aid (its obviously not working and so we should pack it in and direct monies to countries who will use it appropriately).

          • To put it in perspective, 0.7% of GDP is 1/3 of what we spend on defence. Do we really think giving money away to wogs is 1/3 as important as defence of the realm? Really?

          • very good post lad. also the gurkhas join our forces and serve our country, with pride and honour. served side by side with them. loyal as fuck and they don’t expect fuck all from no-one.

  5. I’m sick to the back teeth of the “Political Class”. I wouldn’t trust or believe a single one of them. I plan to go and vote,but only to write “bunch of cunts”across the entire list. I’m sure that people will say “Oh,you must vote”. Why? I’ve been voting for years,and it makes Fuck-All difference, Every politician and party makes endless promises which they fail to honour. No other business or occupation could continually get away with lying and treating their employers with such utter contempt and disregard.

    I have no idea who really makes the big decisions which direct this country,but I don’t think that it’s that bunch of second-rate political windbags. The country is overrun with weak,pathetic natives and thieving migrants As far as I’m concerned,the country is past the point of recovery,and I’m just glad that I’m,hopefully,old enough not to have to live with the final consequences of our “development”. Fuck them all,they can live in the shithole that our generation has created. The next generation can “enjoy” living in the touchy-feely,multi-cultural Utopia that seems to be the final destination.

    • And then Shariah law the generation after that!

      Let’s see how touchy-feely they are then under the Westminster caliphate run by Ayatollah Kahn!

    • Indeed Dick, which is why i voted with my feet, I am simply not going to contribute any more to a system that regards me as only a cash cow to milk.

      I am grateful to the UK for allowing me to be able to do this, but staying there when I don’t have to is just madness with all the corruption, lies and professional political class only looking out for themselves, crackpot socialist policies and them turning their greedy eyes on what I have to fund their election promises. No thanks.

      Perhaps i should have paid more attention at school and joined them!

      • Me too. I got out after 3 years of Tony Blair’s open door immigration policy. I could see the writing on the wall way back then. In fact I didn’t just check out of UK, I checked out of society anywhere because its a load of shit as far as I can see where ever you go.

        • Where did you end up to be able to check out of society?

          We are in Bulgaria for now, but as soon as online enterprises allow, maybe further afield.

          Mind you if Corbyn gets in, i’ll be on the first plane back with my hand out, ‘me no speaky inglish’.

          • I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you. 😉

            Psst. Google “fiscal nomad”.

          • Oh shit, you must be Bulgarian mafia then!

            Fiscal nomad I wish, but with kids, dogs, cats and horses would be rather tricky.

            Sometimes I feel like fucking off to China and learn Kung Fu for a year, but hey ho.

            Well, if you are ever in BG give me a shout, however I don’t really want to stand in the airport with a name card that says ‘Skidmark Eggfart’ on it, people will think I’m a bigger cunt than I already am.

  6. The election line up is a smorgasbord of cunts, May should win but she was a remainer and as Home Secretary cunted us with ‘tens of thousand’ immigration jackanory bollocks. Close the boarders, send in the army top to bottom sweep of the country rounding up illegals, over stayers and foreign cunts clogging up the prisons.

    • I’m not convinced by May’s credentials on immigration. She says the right things but when asked how she will achieve the goal of 10s of thousands she prevaricates, but she is the only leading politician to even state that immigration is a problem and needs to be tackled. All the rest think immigration is not only a good thing but it is actually essential. Both are big fat shitty arsed lies.

      Some studies show immigration to be a net benefit while others don’t. The main discrepancy is with auditing the cost of children. Some studies say that the costs associated with a child produced in a union between an immigrant and a native Britain should be born exclusively by Britain. In other words it is seen as a British child and although born of an immigrant parent, the immigrant is not responsible for any costs associated with the child. Other studies disagree saying the immigrant should be liable for at lest half of the cost of the child where as others say the immigrant should be liable for all of those costs.

      But what all the studies agree on is that be it a net financial positive or a net financial negative, the resulting figure is very small, almost being financially neutral.

      When you dig down into the numbers, certain immigrants from certain countries do very well. The have well paid jobs and contribute to society. But many do not do so well and are a drain on society and these are people from Pakistan, Bangladesh and Africa. Indians, incidentally do very well.

      The brake even point for an immigrant is about £29,000 a year. Earn more than that and you are a net benefit, less and you are costing the state money. The minimum wage for a Tier 2 migrant entering the UK, the most common route for non EU migrants was £20,800 until Autumn 2016 when it was raised to £25,000 and it is due to rise again to £30,000 later this year.

      So at least the government do seem to be doing something positive about bringing down the figures and when they apply the same rules to EU immigrants this new rule alone should stop the free loaders coming in and ensure all that do will pay their way.

    • Also get the soldier boys to round up all the pakis, bogo-bogos, and iron curtain cunts who have been on easy street with benefits for years and refuse to speak English… Parasitic cunts….

  7. Crystal Palace manager Sam Allardyce says the Football Association’s decision to introduce retrospective bans for players who dive from next season is “utter rubbish”….

    Well, he would say that… The fat, corrupt, bent as a Zico free kick dodgy cunt….

    • When the fat fucker was England manager he was pushing for foreign players who had lived here for 5 years to be recognised as English and play for the national team. We are shit at tournaments but don’t need to be recruiting every bongo playing fucker.

    • No doubt about Fat Sam being a corrupt cunt,Norman,but he knows his job. Personally,I reckon that he was England’s best chance of ever winning anything. I see that other fucking crook,Harry Redknapp,has popped up again…now he really could teach Fat Sam a thing or two on dishonest dealings.

      • He would have been good at stopping England get relegated into the third tier of World Football. Yep, Sam would have kept you up in Division 2.

        • You’re right VCS, What a shame Gordon Strachan is otherwise occupied managing those Leviathans of world football…the mighty Scotland.

          • We know our place and have no illusions of granduer. Unlike England who seem to think think they arey are in the same league as Germany, Argentina,Brazil,Italy,France etc all of whom have won numerous World cups , Euros, S American championships. By such a comparison England are most definitely 2nd tier and apart from a three year period back in the 1960s always have been. Or do you disagree with this analysis?

      • Totally agree with your analysis,VCR….apart from the “We know our place and have no delusions of grandeur”. I have never met a Scotsman who knows his proper place,and a delusion of grandeur is a national characteristic.

        • Just to correct you on a couple of points, Mr. Verm:-

          France have won it once, just like England and Spain.

          Scotland, like the mighty Pharoe Islands, Wales and North Korea, have never won it. Hoots, mon.

    • Football is full of cunts.

      The players, managers, tit swingers, and the fans are all huge cunts who support this bloated, overrated and stupid thing.

      England are shite at it, always have been and always will be. Whatever manager is picked they will always score an epic fail.

      The skinny Swedish guy who fucked anything that moved, the one who said children pay for the sins of their father (cunt) the crooked one, the useless one, the crooked and useless one, the dago one…the list goes on.

      Fucking cunts.

  8. Can I make a late cunting for Pippa Middletons fucking wedding,all I see on the so called news is who,s invited, who isn’t invited, the public are invited, no the commoners cant come Harrys bit of snatch isn’t invited, yes she is, then anyone without a ring or better looking cant come ffs ,so I have decided Pippa Middleton must be a grade A its my day treble cunt with bells on and so are the desperate news wankers who keep putting this shit up…..who gives a flying fuck and while on the subject of bollocks nobody cares about Cheryl [add last name as changes every 3 months] coles fucking baby……get a life you twats

      • Pippa, Cheryl and a couple of litres of baby oil. Fucking red neck party …I like

    • Cross eyed Cheryl’s baby is apparently called Bear, as in Polar….
      Don’t know if this is down to her lowest of the low, thick as fuck chav past, or being a celebrity cunt who give children ridiculous names…
      Probably both….

      • Speaking of ridiculous names, who the fuck calls their kid Pippa? Stupid fucking name for rich cunts.

        • Short for Philippa. my mate’s missus is called Philippa and she’s not posh or rich.
          Cracking norks though…

          • Fuck me, I used to go out with a bird called Pippa who had great tits and definitely wasn’t posh. Could it be…..nah…..coincidence.

      • I love this trend of giving children ridiculous names. A couple introduced me to their 5 year old daughter, Pixie, the other day. Pixie!!…the little fucker was a tubby,plain pug of a child. Never seen anything that less resembled a Pixie. I had a hard job keeping a straight face as the fat little fucker waddled off. I did consider asking if the kid’s middle name was Nellie,as in Nellie the Elephant,but thought that it might not go down too well.

        • My mother gave us “strange” names.
          My sister is called Feather.
          When she came home from hospital for the first time, a feather landed on her.
          I am called Dusty.
          Same thing really. When i came home from the hospital, some dust landed on me.

          I don’t really remember much about Wardrobe.

          • An Indian (Native American) boy asked his Dad, “why do us Indians have such stupid names?”

            Dad says “well when a child is born they are named after the first thing their father sees when he leaves the tipi. That’s why your sister is called White Cloud and your brother is called Standing Pony. Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking?”

          • Something similar from my school days:

            Three little girls were sitting in school talking about how they got their names…

            The first little girl says “I got my name because when my mummy was expecting me, a Poppy landed on her tummy…that’s why I’m called Poppy”.

            The second little girl says “I got my name because when my mummy was expecting me, a Hazelnut landed on her tummy…that’s why I’m called Hazel”.

            The third little girl’s head was completely deformed, her right eye was higher than her left and her nose was twisted off to the side. She said “Well my name is Breeze Block”.

    • Well it’s much easier to report on Pippa Middleton’s wedding – and no doubt what her ass looks like in her dress – than having to report on minor rape or murder issues courtesy of our “peaceful” friends across the world.

      Having stomached the last 15mins of the libbo cuntfest of Nicky Campbell on R5L (the audience made up of snowflakes and teachers who are all voting Labour – surprise, surprise), the “big news” story following the 10am news was the “plight of young gay men addicted to ‘chems’ parties”.

      Ok what the fuck is a ‘chems’ party?
      Well – and this is am radio on El Beebistan 5 – it’s where a bunch of gay blokes turn up, take a cocktail of inhibition supressing drugs and then suck and fuck each other silly over a 2-3 day period!

      Ok so where is the “plight” in all this? Well…in the last 12 months a *WHOLE* 29 of the cunts have sucked, fucked and drugged themselves to death doing it!

      Er…am I supposed to feel sorry about this? Put it right up there with pancreatic cancer, childhood leukaemia and parkinsons disease??? Cos I’ll be honest, I truly couldn’t give a fuck!

      Whatever floats these cunt’s boat is fine by me but I don’t want to hear about your activities and I refuse to feel sorry for you if you kill yourself doing it!

      They had one bloke on, he sounded intelligent and was very articulate in his responses to the questions. He attended 100’s of these “chems” parties and detailed how they were organised and (sickeningly) what took place.

      Lo-and-behold he then went on to say he caught hepatitis and HIV during this time due to unprotected batty-boy sex.

      The depth of feeling and sorrow for this cunt from the presenter was palpable! I mean WTF did the cunt expect!

      He then went on to say that he didn’t know if he’d infected a bunch of others, i.e., consigned those cunts to an Arse Injected Death Sentence.

      Now if the cunt had been a drunk driver who had killed people in a drink related accident then – rightly – the cunt should be pilloried.

      I see no difference in this and aids boy passing on his incurable diseases but oh no, the ABBC think he should be pitied. Just like all “peacefuls” should be appeased!

      Fucking unnewsworthy ABBC cunts!

      • Chem party, thats fuck all. How about the “bug chasers”? They are batty boys who actively try to get aids and they will go to special parties where they are given the “gift”. Dirty fucking cunts.

        • Nicky Campbell has suckled from the BBS’s teat for three decades. What an oily, sanctimonious turd- sandwich of a man.

          • Campbell was also shite on Radio 1 and such a pretentious muscial snob…. A cunt…

  9. Our favourite snowfake (ie: fake snowflake) window licker is at it again… She tweeted this about someone taking the piss out of chavspeak on BBC’s This Week:

    ‘You can’t mock a whole social class like this on prime time TV and get away with it. Outrageous, pompous, ignorant…’

    What? Like mocking everyone who voted Brexit?…. Or mocking white men, by saying they were all rapists?…. And, naturally, she hasn’t even mentioned ‘Three Girls’…

    Anyway, I thought Lil The Spazmotron was ‘taking a break’ (if fucking only!)… Another whopping lie and publicity stunt, of course… This media whore mong will be pulling these sort of antics and attention seeking whrn she’s on her deathbed… C u n t !

  10. Have you seen the news about this fudge packing cunt who is has been given £1.5 million by his dad and is now tried to sue his dad for more cash….luckily for once the judge wasn’t pissed and saw the homo for what he is and told him to fuck off….sausage jockey cunt

  11. Swedish persecutors have dropped the rape charge against Julian Assange. I didn’t know he had converted to islime….

  12. Knife crime is at epidemic levels, Sky news informs us with about 10 billion knife attacks and 3 month old babies are carrying a blade to nursey school. I wonder if the areas effected are vibrant and diverse?

    • There have been 15 people stabbed to death in London in the last month and , I think, about 23 this year. As they are all in the street, late at night, in diverse areas and involve young diverse persons of dubious character nobody gives a fuck. When they start stabbing real people I might worry about it but, until then, they are doing the taxpayer a massive favour. Carry on gentlemen.

  13. Never heard of the cunt, he does look like a cunt though. All these elections are now managed and treated like a stage show, it’s all bollocks. Whoever get in (Tories obviously) nothing changes really, still over taxed and then we pay tax on everything we buy, ripped off with fuel, house prices, cigarettes, the roads are getting worse but the rich areas seem to resurface perfectly good roads every year, etc thank God I’m doing well as if I wasn’t I’d be more pissed off than I am.
    I’m voting for the monster raving looney party.

  14. Back to the Con servative (as we called them in my day) manifesto. Waiting for Dio’s take on this but the care fees fuckdoodle? Gov grabs all but 100 grand of a property to pay for care? Then releases that sweet little factoid and trys to bury it under an avalance orf “support May to get oit orf the EU” hoping that us old cunts will swallow the loss orf our hard earned in order to fuck the krauts.
    Mark my words, I said May was a dodgy old boiler. Alongside the Crosby cunt (never liked that crooning cunt) now setting the old against the young.
    Can hear Dio crooning sagely in me shell like. Fuck inheritance, fuck the relatives, flog it all orf and travel the world old man then return a pauper and let the state (ie you young cunts) pick up the tab. Gov policy. Must be right.

    • Well said Sir Limply you wise old bastard. “From the cradle to the grave” that was the deal. Now you are getting near the grave they want you to dig it yourself. Bunch of lying slippery cunts.

      • Personally I think all the geriatric twats moaning about who is going to pay for your care when you are 90 are cunts. I for one have no intention what so ever of living to that age and have delighted in spending every penny I ever earned on wine, wiminz and song. Who wants to live your life like a cunt, working hard and saving up for a long and slow death? Fuck that! It’s not a fucking rehearsal, you cunts!

  15. The fact that politicians need snakeoil salesmen and carpet baggers like this cunt to tell them how to communicate with people shows you how out of touch they are. Fuck me, how many courses have I been on where some wanker spends all day flitting between total bullshit and the bleeding obvious for 6/700 notes a day? Total fucking con artists stealing a living off a bunch of mugs. Motivational speakers?…..a load of fucking horseshit.

  16. A trifle late as ever but just looked up what the troll cunt doubleday has been up to orn the Ranting Penguin blog. Why did I bother? Curiosity killed the cunt. Wish I had’nt. The infantile psychotic cunt is clearly seriously disturbed. Let him toss himself orf in his sandbox. Am I bothered?

    • I am being watched through binoculars supposedly but no brave cunt has come to my door.

      I put underwear on and everything.

    • He’s totally lost the plot as far as I can see.
      He’s even pissing off other trolls like Bane, Dave and Patroller
      Assuming they’re not all the same guy of course…

  17. My cock is being held hostage by a zit, I can’t wank off because of its annoying presence…. How does one even get a pimple on ones cock is it stress? or maybe cause I’ve been off coffee and tea for the last 2 weeks? in a attempt to reduce my caffeine and sugar intake but Ahhhhhhhhh COCK ZIT What the fuck, Why God!…..

    Thats basically my current problem at the moment….. And how are you fine gentleman doing today

    • Pfffttttt, amateur.

      Nothing has ever held me back from abusing the wee man.
      Not even a hernia operation or the mosquito bite i got on my foreskin a couple of years ago.

      Tip: always wear underwear to bed, even if it is hot , coz they mozzies love a big massive humongous cock.

      • A hernia sounds like pure hell I hope I never have one the operation sure sounds like fun. My problem seems to be fading now that I had a bath and put this charcoal acne cream on, that seemed to do the trick

        Actually not wanking for 2 days has made me a bit more productive so its a blessing in disguise I guess I’ll have to make a note of that…. I usually wear underwear btw, maybe my bedsheets are dirty.

        It is brexits fault that I have a cock pimple but maybe its a sign of some sort of future disaster or warning maybe cause the deep state wants to kill Trump? because he fired Comey, assange is free from his ridiculous rape case. Something unforeseen is happening behind the scenes and I think my cock pimple could be related to this great happening that we about to see

        • Rub some Deep Heat into the bugger, T.S. That’ll take your mind off the problem.

    • just reading your comment titslapper and immediately i had a flashback to a time i thought i had a pimple on my door spring. but it turned out to be genital warts mate. so get yourself checked and dont fuck scouse birds while drunk and high on coke.

      • “dont fuck scouse birds while drunk and high on coke” I don’t screw whores, only women in good standing with the church

        @Dick fiddler Mentholated petroleum on my cock?! oh yeah what a great idea that is…. no thanks Dick I don’t want a burning cock I want a zitless cock! And I’m not squeezing my cock pimple good joke tho

  18. The old granny Pikey who sells the Big Issue in my town has a new companion. He’s a thirty years or so old Monga. I asked her minder who stands nearby,spitting and smoking, why his girlfriend/mother had brought their lovechild begging,but got no answer apart from the “Racist,Racist” that he shouts whenever I stop to ask him why they don’t fuck off back to Romania.

    I wonder how much this disgusting,sponging clan are claiming in benefits to augment their begging and undoubted thieving. They should all be rounded up and shipped East in cattle trucks to an establishment which can cater for their needs. A good shower would probably help with their personal hygiene needs too.

    • They’ve found the Land of Milk and Honey. They ain’t going nowhere except at the end of a bayonet…..and we all know that’s not gonna happen. The Roma scum are part of the scenery in London…….coming your way soon.

  19. Creepy Julian Assange has declared victory against the Swedish attempts to question him on allegations of rape. To me, victory would be facing up to the allegations, and having them proved wrong in a court of law. Tin foil hatters will argue that the NWO are out to get him, or the Feds, or some other order, but that doesn’t make him innocent of everything. Perhaps he didn’t do it, I mean, he doesn’t look like he has the strength to take the top of a jam jar, but he is a self serving slimy piece of shit, so who knows? Victory at what? Hide and seek?
    Oh, and he’s a cunt……

    • I’m just surprised that it was women involved,he looks more of a bum-bandit. Perhaps they were trannies..

    • Hold up in an embassy all this time, hiding from charges of Gilberting and the strange looking cunt pulls Pamela Anderson weeks before freedom.


      • He looks like a 65 year old, rapey Legolas.

        A girl comes home from school and says, “Mummy, Mummy, I’ve just been graped!”
        “Don’t you mean raped?” her Mum asks.
        “No,” she replies, “there was a bunch of them.”

        • No No No Julian is innocent you fools! That lying cunt ruined his life and is forced to live in the embassy on some dodgy stealthing charges. If he leaves the embassy FBI, CIA or MI5 could get him

          • Have you found Ranting Penguin Blog yet?
            Yer name is being sullied.

            October 26 2012
            Click replies on first comment and scroll down.

            Just thought I’d let ye know, but don’t worry , its utter gibberish.

    • Julian Assange has always protested his innocence of the charges, which are trumped up, and has always welcomed talking to the Swedish authorities about them. He just didn’t want to go to Sweden, where you can be imprisoned indefinitely without charge, for fear of being sent to USA and possibly facing the death penalty.

      This taken from wikipedia regarding the “offences”;

      On 20 August 2010, two women, a 26-year-old living in Enköping and a 31-year-old living in Stockholm, went together to the Swedish police not seeking to bring charges against Assange but in order to track him down and persuade him to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases after having separate sexual encounters with him.The police told them that they could not simply tell Assange to take a test, but that their statements would be passed to the prosecutor. Later that day, the duty prosecutor ordered the arrest of Julian Assange on the suspicion of rape and molestation.

      You see, even the “victims” didn’t claim they were raped. And for this he has lost 7 years of his life and still faces arrest should he leave the embassy he has been hold up in the last 5 years, Its a fucking disgrace.

      • Don’t believe everything you read on Wikedpeadia.

        The Yanks were never going to ‘kidnap’ him and shanghai him to the States. If he were truly innocent, he’d have flown to Sweden and cleared his name. Instead, the rapey weirdo hides at our cost.

        • I don’t believe everything I read, especially not on Wikipedia. But unless you can come up with something that proves he is a rapey cunt, like the victims actually saying he is, then I’d go with the wikipedia version.

          He was clearly being set up for extradition to US for publishing the Chelsea Manning leaks.

          • I can’t. Although I read one of the rapees/victims was terrified to discover that the charges have been dropped. Perhaps it is all fake. Allegations should be investigated and defended but it’s terribly convenient for him to have this paranoid kidnapping story.

            Assange is a cunt;
            Wikedpeadia is definitely a cunt;
            Yanks have also been known to be cunts.

            Maybe he’ll reimburse the cost. It was a lot, after all, more than Cameron spent on his EU arse-lick leaflets.

          • Furthermore, he could at least show some fucking gratitude for his safety. Instead he come out preaching, like he’s on the moral high ground. Arrogant, rapey, Australian weirdo cunt.

  20. i like to visit the Chris Spivey site just to see what he’s going to come up with next. been a bit quiet recently but now he has come up with a corker!. the Moors Murders never happened or something, i couldnt be arsed to actually read it because i know from experience after ploughing through mountains of text and 100s of photos you are none the wiser at the end of it. but anyway he knows the truth about the moors murders and its not what we’ve all been told for the last 50 years ( apparently).

    • If Spivey comes to Manchester, he’ll get the fuck kicked out of him…
      Hope the victims’ families lawyers and GMP get onto this sick fat cunt….
      He should have gone down for the grief he caused Lee Rigby’s family…
      Let’s hope this is a step too far and it destroys him….

    • I once asked Spivey why he didnt just summarise his articles with a few bullet points rather than reams and reams of verbage and photoshop. He blocked me. Of course he knows full well that the idiot mongs who follow him are impressed with the massive articles he produces as they confuse quantity with quality. He cant summarise because its all waffle.

  21. Lee Rigby’s unofficial memorial was vandalised last night, some cunts nicked the flags and photos. It could have been Camel Drivers but, sadly, much more likely to have been the average chav scum who live in that area. Whoever it was they are fucking doublecunt bastards.

  22. Pippa fucking Middleton, shut the fuck up and marry the posh twat.

    • Fantastic!!!!

      Its always Jon Brookes i hear over the rest of the band.

      My favourite piece of Jon Brookes is Then.
      It sounds like a loop but its not.

      Cheers Norman. 🙂

        • Love it.
          Perfect summer tune.

          Did ye see down the bottom of the YouTube list some buxom tart called Niclee Heston?
          I’m of to check images. 🙂

        • Talking of the Roses, i see Ian Brown has been giving evidence again in another Fred Talbot trial where Talbot is being tried for being a beast.
          Not many “stars” would do that.

          Good on ye Brownie.

    • I’ve just put Melting Pot on and the missus has come through to tell me to turn it down.

      What a cunt?????

    • Great blog post. I feel the same but the TwitBook masses lap this shit up like it was mana from heaven.

      Because they “follow” cunts like this, their (deluded) perception is that should they ever meet in person – which is itself as likely as a lottery win – said sleb would be their best mate/friend and they’d chat about life and maybe even grab a skinny latte…

      They fail to consider the fact that if they were to encounter said sleb cunt then are likely to be:

      a) Physically manhandled out of the way by security guards or police.

      b) Ignored with a thinly veiled layer of contempt.

      c) Told to “Fuck off! Can’t you see I’m busy!”

      d) All 3 above!

      That’s because this breed of TwitBook twats we’ve nurtured over the last 10yrs truly believe that *their* lives are the most important in the world to everyone – including the slebs who they follow.

      And can you convince these cunts that their lives are only important to *them*? Not a bit of it, they do what any good old TwitterMong would do and block/ignore/unfriend any dissenters or even folk who dare have a different view on things.

      This means that they only ever hear their views reflected back to them from their lickspittle toadies or like minded idiots.

      This is a very unhealthy situation because it means that these snowflakes and TwitterMongs literally cannot cope with anyone with a different point of view in the real world and this has necessitated the need for “safe spaces” and the like so that there is now a physical embargo on hearing a different point of view and this is why this particularly odious bunch of fuckwits cannot accept any decision which does not suit them.

      Unfortunately you can’t block/ignore/unfriend reality and the sooner these cunts realise it the better! Cunts!

      • It’s ironic that tools of mass communication have in actual fact closed off communication to the masses.

    • She is a pointless cunt at the best of times, a ready made pin up for the instagram vacuum. Looks like a twelve year old boy, so that’s the attraction for hedge fund cunt…..

  23. Talking of Chris Spivey this is from the horses mouth

    “I can also tell you that I have decided to call that report “A Bridge Too Far” and it currently stands at nearly 50,000 words with seemingly the same number of photographs”

    Fuck me !

    • What a prick. It saddens me to see how many retards comment on his site who swallow his utter drivel as real. Scum, pure and simple.

  24. May seems to be announcing a few policies such as the “Dementia” tax and doing away with Winter Heating payments apart from for Scotland…..anyone would think that she didn’t really want to win the massive majority which she says that she needs to enact a strong Brexit…..

    • Yes Mr. Fiddler….I suspect, like me, you have spent the last year wondering how these cunts are going to wriggle out of a referendum result they never expected in a million years. Personally, I’ll believe it when I see it .

    • She hasn’t scrapped the winter fuel allowance, she is only going to means test it so cunts like Allan Sugar and the Queen don’t get it.

      As for the “dementia tax”, she has protected £100,000 of assets, including property from the present £23,250. That’s got to be a huge step forward. All those old cunts worried they won’t be able to leave anything for their family will now know they will leave at least 4 times what they could have before.

      Of course, the lefty press, Guardian and Mirror are pushing the agenda that May is attacking old people, hence the term “Dementia tax”. But I think any of those old cunts who still have their marbles will know its all just more fake news.

      Personally I prefer the Soylent Green approach to elderly care.

      • It’s more that I’m surprised that she has announced anything controversial prior to the election. Normally we hear about anything that might cost a few votes after the buggers have been elected.

        • Fair point. All she has to do is keep her mouth shut and let the “opposition” do all the work.

      • Well they’d be tough as auld b’yutts by then. Soylent Greening the nice tender TwiiterMong snowflake generation and feeding them to the elderly would provide a daily meal for them and with the added bonus of restoring some semblance of accepting democratic decisions.

        There would have to be a vetting process: anyone claiming their pronouns are “they, them and their” –
        straight into the pot. Any cunt with more than one social meejah account – straight into the pot. Any cunt who has ever used the terms “safe space”, “gender neutral”, “member of planet earth”, “no life is illegal”, etc., straight into the pot!

        Cunts! If they make it to their 30’s they’ll probably be safe as by then they’ll realise what cunts they’ve been and they will vote Tory as their parents Tarquin and Jemima do…

      • I think that’s pretty much summarised my view on the matter as well…
        ..except the last bit (I’m getting on)

        I do believe in being allowed to end my life at a time of my choosing tho’ so that’s a bit like the euthanasia farms in the film. Ironically, Edward G. died shortly after that was made.

        • Just downloaded it of t’internet. That will be for my viewing pleasure this evening.

  25. Donald Trump is an mandarin faced ginger orangutan of a cunt for going to Saudi Arabia to kiss the arse of king whoever.

    That would be the same Saudi Arabia that is sponsoring ISIS and other salafist forces. The same Saudi Arabia which is refusing to take any refugees they themselves are creating. The same Saudi Arabia who are murdering women and children in Yemen. The same Saudi Arabia that stones women to death for being raped. The same Saudi Arabia that beheaded an 18 year old girl for witchcraft. I could go on all day….

    Saudi Arabia is a medieval non-entity of a country which just so happens to have huge oil reserves. The best way to deal with these backward fuckers is not to kiss their arse but with the pointy end of a few ICBMs. Cunts to a man.

  26. The problem with Rickie the troll cunt is that he is so boring. Same shit all the time, yawn. That wasn’t my name, Anna raccoon is a cunt, Dio is a cunt, copy and paste bollocks. No one cares, just go and choke on a bellend.

    • The problem with Rickie the troll cunt is that he’s a danger to society.

      Well, if he left his house he’d be a danger to society.

      The bonus with Rickie the troll cunt is that he’s a stranger to society.

      • I’d maybe be worried if I had small children, but I think it’s because he is physically harmless, a pathetic weakling runt, he is of little danger, unless he might bore you to death with his lies childish attempts at trolling. One of your budgies would probably do him😀

    • Just took another quick squint over at the Penguin.
      That address might have gone off ISAC but somebody’s pasted it all over The Penguin and as Rickie keeps telling us, it can’t be deleted over there.
      And before you ask NO! It wasn’t me but I wish I’d thought of it.
      Congrats to whoever it was tho’ – there’s plenty of candidates that he’s pissed off.

      Hoist on his own petard! Serves him right. I love it…

      • The cheeky cunt is slagging my “sapnish”
        I never claimed to speak “sapnish”

        I cant see any mistakes in my “Spanish” though, but if i did, well, me no speekee de spaaneesh.

        Well done for the address, whoever you are.

          • I cant get by the robot proof picture puzzle.
            I can solve the puzzle but the “verify” button disappears.

            The address.
            Is that what they call “karma”? 🙂

          • Nice one Asimplearsehole.

            Calling out a plumber at three in the morning cant be that pricey.
            Can it? 🙂

          • FOR THE RECORD I’d like to make it absolutely clear that what you’re suggesting has absolutely nothing to do with me.
            Not my idea
            Not condoning it
            Not involved

            I’ve had enough of the little shit for one year!

  27. Peter Sutherland is the United Nations Special Representative of the Secretary-General (SRSG) for International Migration. He is also a weapons grade cunt. The ex Goldman Sachs banker, chairman of BP and repeat guest at the secretive Bilderberg Group said in a hearing to the House of Lords that the The European Union should “do its best to undermine” the “homogeneity” of its member states. He is an open borders cunt with billions to make by importing cheap labour to replace the ageing European population. He also said that migration is a “crucial dynamic for economic growth” and that this is the case “however difficult it may be to explain… to the citizens of those states”. Cunt first class, I think you will agree.

    • Very much agree with you. Sutherland was in the past, a special commissioner for Catholic Migration. He approved retrospectively the Catholic Churches transportation of Children to various locations , including Australia, and has vigorously defended the Churches position despite overwhelming evidence of abuses. He is, as you say, a weapons grade cunt.

  28. This cunt here is priceless…
    The woman who married herself…
    A woman has told BBC (what a surprise!) she married herself to celebrate being single….
    Sophie Tanner said she had no regrets about tying the knot with herself and is currently celebrating her second wedding anniversary….

    So, ‘celebrating a wedding anniversary’ when you’re on your own?!… This smacks of desperation and a craving for attention… Tying the knot with yourself?! This daft bitch needs locking up… No surprise though… No man on earth will obviously have this pathetic sad cunt… I defy anyone not to look at this video and think ‘Where are IS when you fucking need them?’…. The woman needs a slap…

    • I wonder where she is going to take herself for her honeymoon? Is she going to fuck herself? Is she going to call herself Mr. Or Mrs? What happens if she wants a divorce? So many intruiging questions that nobody gives a flying fuck about.

      • The fact that the ABBC has interviewed this sad cunt and actually put it out as ‘news’ shows sadly, where this country is at….

        • Don’t tell the missus , but I’ve been having an affair with myself for years.
          In fact, I’ve got a date with myself tonight.

      • She’ll sign herself Mrs Mr Mrs obviously. If she feels more in touch with her male self she’ll use Mr Mr Mrs. Simples.

    • Dopey cow. Another one who will end up running a donkey sanctuary.

    • You need to get your eyes tested Sir Limply. What the fuck are you doing looking at a LibDem poster you doddery old bugger?

    • Someone should of pointed out the irony of that poster. Vote LibDimocrat and have no say in who is going to PM.

      Fuck I despise the LibDims more than I despise than I despise Labour and that’s a lot. Tim Farron actually makes me want to puke, preferably over Tim Farron the horrible spineless anti Brit two faced cunt.

  29. Women are strange creatures, sometimes there’s no pleasing them however hard you try.

    A few weeks ago my lot were playing in the FA Cup semi final live on TV in a couple of hours.
    Had the house to myself, plenty of beers and looking forward to the match.
    Suddenly the phone rings, it’s the wife calling from the hospital in a right state.

    “My mum’s taken a turn for the worse, you’d better get up here.”

    I said “For fuck sake the game kicks off soon”

    She went ballistic and screamed
    “This is my mum we’re talking about, she’s dying, you’re so fucking selfish….cant you just record it and watch it later” then hung up.

    There was a couple of hours before the kick off so I thought I’d better get up to the hospital and make an effort for once.
    I tried to do what she wanted, I really did, but apparently a camera tripod on the ward is a health and safety issue…

  30. I hope Princess Pippa had a nice day. What a thrill for us commoners to be able to celebrate another Royal wedding,it’s well seen that Pippa has blue-blood,class and breeding shine through.

    Roll on,Prince Harry’s nuptials.

    • Used to live near the Middletons. Nice couple until their daughter married Prince William.
      Now they seem to regard themselves as royalty and are a bit too far up their own backsides for my liking.

      Thankfully, I moved away years back but I do feel for the poor buggers in Bucklebury who must have been driven to distraction by all the shit of the past few weeks. They must be thinking “Thank Christ that’s over! Roll on next week…”

      • They’ve certainly done well to marry their two bonny,but unspectacular,daughters off to an heir to the throne and a billionaire. Think they might struggle to persuade the son,James,to marry a female. Still,two out of three ain’t bad.

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