Easter (2)

I would like to get an early cunting in for Easter. It is my contention it’s only kept going by commercial interests. I think most people would be quite happy to ignore the whole stupid fucking thing but the constant messages about celebrating ‘ your Easter’ create a certain pressure to ‘conform’ which the gullible fall for. fuck Easter.

Nominated by richard1.

Easter is on a par with Valentines – utter bullshit! I fucking hate chocolate too!

It is supposed to be the most holy of the Christian “holy-days” and yet if you were to ask kids who we are celebrating they’re just as likely to say Nestlé or Cadbury as they are Jesus.

And how the fuck does the clergy know that Jesus died at Easter? I mean it was 2,000yrs ago?? If he did then he’s the most unlucky cunt in the world, what with his birthday being on Christmas day too!

Nominated by a Rebel without a Cunt!

200 thoughts on “Easter (2)

  1. A time of the year when holiday prices go astronomic as parents take their little darlings away for a holiday. Airports will be packed to fuck of little shits with those roller shoes sliding over vast areas of the concourse. Kids wailing and screaming, irritated parents looking for strays.and the ques at the restaurants will be fucking miles long.Yeah…happy fucking easter!

       10 likes

  2. Who remembers when, over Easter, football teams used to play on Friday, Saturday and Tuesday or Saturday, Monday and Tuesday? Can you imagine fat poofs like Rooney getting off their lazy cunting arses to do that these days? Fucking Jesus died for nothing the silly cunt.

       9 likes

  3. It’s a few days off because of a conjurer who did some magic tricks a couple of thousand years ago to satisfy the voices in his head. Why does God only talk to epileptics and schizophrenics? I look forward to the day when we can be rid of this poisonous nonsense but it probably shan’t be in my lifetime.

       10 likes

    • Nonsense… Now drink his blood! and eat his flesh you damn filthy heretic! it isn’t zombie worship ok…. it just oddly resembles zombie worship symbolically tho

         11 likes

      • I hope we never have zombies. Can you imagine the outcry from generation snowflake when normal folk put a Bowie knife through their skulls (Walking Dead style).

        “We should try to love and understand the zombies. It’s all too easy to say they’re all bad and all want to eat us, well I’m sorry that’s just not a country I want to be part of anymore.”

        Meanwhile Adele and Lily Allen are shouting through their gated residences not to kill the zombies that are laying waste to ordinary folks’ lives and residences.

        Sound familiar? Well if you just change zombie for Mus…

           10 likes

  4. As far as worshiping imaginary friends goes why does chocolate fest aka Easter fall on a different date every year. The dress wearing loons who pray to their imaginary friend in the sky cannot even muster any consistency over the bloody calendar.

       12 likes

  5. Nestle and Cadbury’s forbid Easter to be abolished.. The bastards make a fortune from flogging eggs made with the smallest amount of chocolate you could get away with. As a kid, our eggs were made with thick chocolate. Now, its so fucking thin its almost transparent. Thieving multinational fucking food giant bastards.

       14 likes

    • Cadbury (now Kraft) have effectively banned Easter. They are only interested in selling chocolate eggs not Easter eggs. They changed the name of the Easter Egg hunt by dropping Easter from the name to just Egg Hunt (picture in heading).

      Ludicrous decision to appease who I wonder? Three guesses!

      Will Christmas go the same way? To just become a “holiday”. The Americans just say “Happy Holidays”

      Nature abhors a vacuum. So as Christianity goes into decline because it lacks many believers in the UK and those who don’t believe in religion will not ban all religions or promote secularism only, then another will fill the vacuum.

      Bye bye Christianity, hello…..(fill in the blanks)…..

         12 likes

      • I used to pass through Eltham in South London several years ago and publicity material in the high street referred to something called ‘the late winter festival’. Probably a combination of Christmas and the Diwali bollocks.

           3 likes

        • Cadburys founder John Cadbury was a Quaker christian, he wouldn’t be pleased with this diversity change and removal of easter. Good friday is the central doctrine of christianity FFS!

             5 likes

      • Anyone who says, “Happy Holidays” is a hateful, politically-correct, Guardian-reading, mongol snowflake who deeply loathes themself.

        All religions are nonsense but Christmas (here long before the Devil Dodgers nicked it) must stay.

           5 likes

        • Agree. Went to Co-Op today, and lo !! “Easter Eggs”, NOT Holiday Eggs or some other toss.

          Admittedly, the jury’s still out on the bigger picture of religion, but as other esteemed cunters have reported, Mother nature abhors a vacuum (and a Mother’s always right, say the feminazis…), and if Christianity (however Sunday-only and slightly bogus it might well be) disappears, something else will fill the void…

          There must have been a very wide open space between Lily the Mong’s ears, now filled with all that crap drivelling out…

             5 likes

    • The Terry’s chocolate eggs were thick as fuck when I was a lad… Better than the piss-poor and extortionate shite that’s around now… And we were happy with one off mum and dad and one of nana and granddad… Now brats want one off every cunt in their family…

      Which reminds me: saw some white w@g Iron Curtain cunt in the supermarket, and as she was at the checkout, her two gyppo brats (sat in the fucking trolley!) were eating fucking Easter Eggs… This was last Friday, and the brats were dropping the shite all over the floor… Checkout girl looked disgusted, I said they were cunts. Gyppo tart didn’t give a fuck… Didn’t pick up the litter, kids covered in chocolate, and the tightarsed bitch didn’t even pay for carrier bags (everything was loose)… Eight in the fucking morning, and kids are eating chocolate eggs for breakfast, while Mama Lazarou blows her benefits…. Cunts…

         11 likes

      • My Mum wants some Heston Bloomingtwat egg from Waitrose, twenty fucking quid! As much ad I love my Num she can stick that up her chuff.

           2 likes

  6. Not just easter but shite like halloween and valentines and mother and fathers day are all a load of cunt, their only purpose is to make money for some 4×2 cunt who doesn’t even believe in the shite.

       13 likes

    • Quite right. We should boycott this turd laden trap to relieve us of our cash. I’d love to see the fuckers in the boardroom howling at the loss of profits! Cunts!

         7 likes

    • I think a few years ago commercial interests tried to get ‘Grandparents day ‘ off the ground. Happily it seems to have failed miserably.

         5 likes

    • The card companies are already starting to advertise cards in mothers and fathers day in the same sex sense, just business cunts trying to hijack the PC express, mainstream being a freak and make a few quid on the side. I’m Sure there’s a gender fluid, non binary happy transitioning day card in the works.

         6 likes

      • How about Happy W@g Day! A special day, not only to celebrate the benefits the golly community has brought to the country, but also to spend loads of money on jam.

           12 likes

          • And if the latest snowflake craze does get killed off after one series of Doctor Who, she can always do Robertson’s jam and marmalade commercials…

            “See You At Tea Time”

               6 likes

          • I used to collect the Robertson’s gollies. What the fuck was the problem with that?

            When I was a tiny lad, I had a goolie toy. I took it to bed with me every night and loved it to bits.

            I suppose the modern equivalent would be Jeremy Corbyn?

               9 likes

  7. I want to nominate HM Customs for a cunting.

    Now if this lot were to stop drugs, weapons and terrorists from entering the country, I’d be singing their praises. But they don’t, and in any case it’s the sniffer dogs that do all the work.

    No sir, their entire preoccupation is taking money off people who have found their goods cheaper abroad and paid for them with money they’ve already paid income tax on.

    Free trade with Europe? Don’t make me laugh. Try bringing a van of booze and ciggies back from France and see how far you get. Even if the stuff was manufactured in the UK in the first place.

    Cunts all. (Except for the dogs. The only employees doing a decent days work).

       24 likes

    • If booking people for booze and fags was the extent of HMRC’s crimes against humanity then they would be getting off lightly. They ensure they bleed the every day bloke dry but then cut sweetheart deals with the likes of google and amazon. The greedy cunts.

         11 likes

      • Oh God yes on this one, I collect a certain series of trading cards that are only generally available from Japan. brought a 16 pack booster set a few weeks back, got done on customs, got another set for £38 and the bastards have hit me up again. Utter cunts.

        Also got some rare ones shipped from a seller in the US, cost enough as it was…. so naturally the HMRC wankers hit me with a £47 custom charge on top.

        Thanks for that. Cunts.

           4 likes

  8. Newsflash !! It had to happen. Guess what ? the Westminster terrorist attack was a false flag. I know that must be true. Because a certain Mr Chris SPivey says it is. He is threatening a massive ‘ exposure’ of the event where everything will become clear. Not sure if he’s going to claim No one died but wouldn’t Put it past him. All this will do is add another one to the list of his ‘ investigations’ which turned out to be 100% cast iron bollocks. Of course sensible people knew that right away but even after subsequent inquests explain precisely whaT happened his demented followers still cling to the delusion. Does he ever apologise and own up to being wrong ? Does he fuck, I’ve just written to his site saying more or less the same as here , knowing Full well it will be binned but hey ho that’s how the numpties operate.

       12 likes

    • Spivey does the perfect job of discrediting ALL conspiracy theories and false flags since he is so stupid and outlandish in his accusations.

      If I was a member of the Deep State or certain elements within government, I would pay him to keep pumping out his drivel. It would serve my purpose for him to turn everything into a false flag and therefore a joke. Thereby, leaving the real business of dodgy underhand treasonous acts to continue unquestioned.

      He causes the public NOT believe in ANY conspiracies. Job done.

         12 likes

    • They are making money by creating false needs, which is something quite different to making money providing for actual needs.

         4 likes

      • True! But it’s still a business albeit a shite one, makes them a fortune too, look at Halloween?? Trick or treat!!, another crafty con trick..

           3 likes

  9. Easter has fuck all to do with JC and all that jazz… Me and the mrs were in Morrisons on New Years Eve morning: and the cunts had the creme eggs and rip-off mini eggs already on sale, while the Christmas stuff was still on the shelves… I suppose Easter could be seen as a type of chocolate pimping… But what I also hate is libmongs who object to the term ‘Easter’ in case it ‘offends’ any illiterate. kebab stinking, ‘peaceful’ cunts… Was on a job in Bury the other day, and it was great to see the word ‘Easter’ in massive letters in the window of WH Smiths, and right next to it, in the HMV window, a vinyl copy of the Pistols’ ‘Never Mind The Bollocks’ (with the bollocks openly on display)… Hope both were put up as a massive v-sign to snowflakes and muzzielickers….

       11 likes

  10. And everyone knows Cadbury’s has gone down the shitpan since it got consumed by Kraft(werk)….. Dairy Milks from Poland?!…. Picnics (still their greatest creation) halved in size (but the same price!)?!…. As the great Zappa said, ‘America scarfs up the world and shits on it…’ The cunts do the same to British institutions and all…

       7 likes

    • And what’s all this shite they keep churning out now?… Chocolate with jelly inside it?! Oreo (whatever that fucking is!) filling?… Fucking jelly beans!? (Why are septics so vulgar?)….And no cunt is fooled by their ‘chopped’ Fruit and Nut’… Those Krafty kunts just put less fruit and nut in the fucker…

      In grumpy old(er) cunt mode today… So, here’s a few old classics, from when British choccy was the very best:

      https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/85/50/38/8550385825ab4ebf976eebe27badc163.jpg

         5 likes

      • Don’t bring kraftwerk into this norm, Trans europe express and Computerworld are my favorite albums…. Oh you mean kraft products yeah that company is shit they pride themselves on buying out companies and destroying former companies products

        Nostalgia overdrive with that pic I remember those old wrappers I totally forgot about curly wurly bastards now I want one!

           4 likes

        • My first ever single I bought TitSlapper was Autobahn by Kraftwerk. I still listen to it and it still sounds as good now as it it did then. Oh the memories….

             0 likes

      • Norman, just buy Sainsbury chocolate instead; it’s cheaper and it’s British. It was a sad day when Cadbury’s was flogged to the Yanks.

           6 likes

    • Kraft bought the company in 2010 and hacked back jobs since 2012 when their pledge to retain manufacturing jobs expired. Krafty cunts.

      Successive British governments have allowed everything and anything to be sold off to foreign interests. Only cuntry in the world which has sold the shirt off it’s own back to the highest bidder. Even America, the bastion of capitalism, does more to protect it’s national interests and industries.

      Most UK household manufacturing names, transport, utility and infrastructure companies are owned by foreign companies or have foreign major shareholdings.

      Most of privatisations, Thatcher onwards, have disappeared to foreign ownership. Germans, French, US, Spanish, Chinese, Arabs and Russians.

      It’s impossible to keep up with who owns what these days.

         7 likes

      • Kraft are cunts on a personal level for me. I had a nice 12 month jolly lined up getting Cadbury factories going in Swaziland and Botswana. Went to their factory in Port Elizabeth and got as far as my unreasonable demands for remuneration when Kraft bought them out and everything went out the window. Yankee Doodle Kunts.

           5 likes

        • Let’s not forget that the chocolate also got smaller while the price went up naturally.

             2 likes

  11. Bureaucracy is a cunt. It suppresses the populous and stifles innovation and development. Bureaucracy is pro the status quo, the reason dictatorships love it so much. Every dictatorship in history, from the Romans to the Nazis had huge bureaucracies to regulate and stifle change.

    Spain is no exception. Until the death of Franco in 1975 Spain was a fascist dictatorship and true to form had a huge and complex bureaucracy which persists to this day. It is not just official government bodies which are bureaucratic, but private organisations and companies have hugely complicated internal systems too. A private housing estate of 200 houses and flats has a president, a vice president and 3 deputy presidents. Why?

    I’m currently selling a motorbike in Spain. In UK a simple task to change ownership of a vehicle, just fill in the log book and send it off to DVLA and within a week new papers will be issued. Costs you the price of a stamp and an envelope. Not is Spain however. I can’t even describe the process for transferring a vehicle in Spain, it is so complicated. Not only that but costly, I have to pay tax on the selling price, the buyer has to take a day off work to visit the traffic department in person and pay a fee to have new documents made in his name. Most people, including the Spaniards themselves, employ a professional to do it for them, a kind of paralegal called a Gestor, more expense.

    On top of that cancelling the insurance is no simple task either. You must inform the insurance company, in writing on the correct form that you no longer wish to renew the insurance at least a month before the renewal date and if this is due to sale of the vehicle official documents to prove the sale must be provided. Failure to comply with the letter of these requirements will result in them charging you the full premium by direct debit which you cannot stop, every year, FOREVER!!! And there is not a fucking thing you can do about it!

    It’s a fucking Kafkaesque nightmare of a place. By all means visit Spain on holiday, enjoy the sunshine and cheap booze, but never ever contemplate living there.

    Not only does bureaucracy stifle innovation and growth, it actively encourages corruption. The more complex the rules, the more likely people are to circumvent them. Is it any wonder that highly bureaucratic places have poor economies and high corruption? Not only this, it is expensive to maintain all those cunts doing mindless paperwork, that is why taxes are high in large bureaucracies, prime example the EU which spends £130 million a year just to allow the European Parliament to decamp from Belgium to France every month, because it is in the rules that they should do so.

    And those working in bureaucracies are cunts and all, dictatorial jobs worth twats who know full well they are in a job for life so long as they continue to enforce the same repressive procedures. Bureaucracies are full of people doing their job but precious few actually working. Cunts!!!

       11 likes

    • Most councils in the UK are like that now… I once did my whole front and back gardens: and I filled the brown recycle bin with the appropriate crap (leaves, grass etc)… Unbeknownst to me, some cunt dropped a coke can in my bin overnight… So the cunts didn’t empty the thing… I went apeshit… I phoned the council cunts and some daft bitch went on about the bin being ‘contaminated’, a ‘rogue item’ and all this over a solitary drinks can which I didn’t even put in the fucking thing… Said bitch then went on about ‘the rules’… To which I replied, so one demented jumped up cunt (probably a woman) decides that one light as a feather tin can stops a whole bin being emptied, and thousands of people suffer because of some Liltte Hitler’s insane whims?!… She then spouted the ‘we don’t tolerate insults, abuse, blah de fucking blah’ so I told her to fuck off and hung up…

      Of course, that meant war… Trying to cooperate with these jumped up turds is a a thankless task… So now I fill my recycle bins with any old crap and put a layer of the ‘appropriate’ rubbish on the top… Fuck them…

         15 likes

      • Wait until ye have to renew yer passport.

        Who’s big fuckin idea was it to make BELFAST the only passport office ?
        Who can understand a BELFAST accent over a phone.
        ?
        I fuckin can’t.

        The reason i bring it up, is Norman mentioning the council not tolerating insulting language.

        After a few phonecalls, and still getting nowhere with these passport cunts, i went on a rant about every fucking camel jockey under the sun can get easy access to blighty, yet I was being refused one.
        The reason i was refused a new one was that my old one was damaged after being in my pocket for nine years and through the wash a couple of times.
        These cunts thought i was trying to pull a fast one.
        What for, i don’t know.
        The cunts received letters from my employers and lawyer, and finally gave me one(after six weeks) when I sent them my OPTICIANS details. WTF????

        Anyway, if anybody needs to deal with Belfast passport offices, be nice and don’t accuse them of being Cafflick republicans, like i did

        For the six weeks without a passport, i was given a paper pass to cross the frontier, and that was scrutinized every fuckin time.

           9 likes

        • Just renewed mine online.Pretty simple and painless provided the photonyou download is acceptable. All done within 2 weeks.
          Bonus is not having to speak to Paddy or Scouse.

             2 likes

    • JUNTA URGENTE

      Presidentes are up their own arse cunts.
      I lived in a block where it was a female presidenta and that was how she was to be addressed.

      Saying that, i wasn’t a propritario, so the bitch would ignore me, but listening to the arguments at their meetings, I’m fucking glad.

      The missus is of to Malaga next week for an overnight stay so she can get a police check for work.

      She’s employed by the Gibraltarian government but as she lives in Spain, needs a police check.
      She has tried twice to get one done in La Linea, but guess what, that would be too easy.
      It never got sorted, so she has to go to Malaga on her own time and money, and try again.
      The reason she’s going to stay overnight is, well you know, its still probably going to take the cunts a couple of days to sort it.

      Que viva España ???????.

         5 likes

      • The last passport I got was issued in Liverpool. Went and collected it myself. Both of them. The trick is not to tell the cunts you don’t live in UK.

        I’d be surprised if you get anything done in Malaga next week, its Easter remember?

           1 likes

        • I was refused entry into Spain, my passport was that bad.
          So I wasn’t getting anywhere near Britain to change it personally.
          I was also refused a Gibraltar passport coz i don’t live there.
          I pay taxes though.

          My daughter was also refused a Gibraltar passport even though she was born there.

          Its next Wednesday the missus is off to Malaga, so the lazy cunts might have recovered from their religious coma by then.

             1 likes

  12. The angels rolled the stone away
    The angels rolled the stone away

    Easters fuckin great.

    Easter means spring, holidays, warmer weather, chocolate and good telly.

    The angels rolled the stone away
    The angels rolled the stone away

    Boycott any company that offends easter lovers and buy a cheaper, nicer brand.

    The angels rolled the stone away
    The angels rolled the stone away

    Have a day or two outdoors with no scarf and gloves and listen to the songbirds.

    The angels rolled the stone away
    The angels rolled the stone away

    Happy Easter, ya chocolaty cunters. 🙂

    The angels rolled the stone away
    The angels rolled the stone away

    To not celebrate is another victory for our Muslim cousins.

    The angels rol………

       12 likes

    • Have you been on the Jamaican woodbines again? Mind you, I could probably do with monging out a bit. If I have to stay in thsi fucking country another year I swear I’ll either have a nervous breakdown or a heart attack. Probably both.

         3 likes

      • I’m always on the Jamaican woodbines, i just really, really love spring, and summer.

        Autumn and winter, even a Spanish one, is shite.
        I’m not one of those seasonal depression cunts, i just truly hate that time of year.

        This afternoon was spent in the park, sunning my face and watching the birds.
        I watched the pigeons too.

        Little darlin’
        Its been a long cold
        And lonely winter
        Little darlin’
        Its been a long cold
        And lonely winter

        Here comes the sun
        And I say
        Its al-fuckin-right

        🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

           5 likes

  13. There’s a tradition in my area at Easter of “Egg-jarping”, Everyone in the pub on Sunday lunchtime is given a hard-boiled egg,and you hold your egg upright and bang it against your opponents,a bit like conkers. Last year I was drawn, after a couple of rounds,against a spoilt 8 year old brat who everyone in previous rounds had let win….not me…. I twatted the little bastard’s egg with all the force that a 6 foot,14 stone manual worker could muster. I’d held my egg so that it was actually my fist that made contact,knocked the brat’s egg flying in a thousand pieces… Victory was mine!!
    Now you’d think that I’d have been cheered as I picked up my prize of a large chocolate egg….not a fucking bit of it. The kid’s crying and the parents’ moaning drowned out my victory speech,selfish bastards. Never mind,I’ll be there again on Sunday.

       10 likes

    • Theres no reason for you to let that 8 yr old win at games DK you did the right & honorable thing challenge will only make him try harder next time but couldn’t you have shared the prize or something?!

         2 likes

      • No,the kid was fat and whiny,and the parents were the same…served the fuckers right for being in a Public Bar anyhow.

           6 likes

        • Hahaha Lol it would just rot his teeth servered the fat tubby kid right then Kids in bars what a bloody shame you know there was a time where women weren’t allowed in pubs seemed to go smoothly too no bar fights or territorial behavior without them around….

          Just because pubs serve food it shouldn’t be implied as a families PG rated eating area especially not with the very young ones

             4 likes

          • DickFiddler and Titslapper discuss being an Eggsmasher.

               2 likes

  14. an honourable tradition in Russia also, I think…and not one for the faint-of-arse, as I discovered as a teenager doing A-Level Russkie many decades ago !

    But the vodkas help…

       3 likes

  15. Fear Not – Easter is breeding out anyway.

    The National Trust has banned the word Easter from the Kids Easter Egg Hunt, to just Egg Hunt to please the peacemongers.

    So cunters careful what you wish for, till it swings to Eid Mubarak.

       1 likes

    • All EASTER eggs, should contain a christian cross and a slice of bacon. This would ensure that non of our “peaceful ones” would be included in Easter. Fuck em all!

         6 likes

  16. The whole greetings card \ seasonal celebration business is a fucking cash generating cunt.

    All the false holidays like Mothers Day, Proms, Heroin Junkies Day and now (so I’m told by my missus) there’s some Yank imported chav mong thing about celebrating getting pregnant. Just an excuse to get pissed and stagger around the streets…..probably why she’s going.

    I actually saw cards like to my husband on Mothers Day. What kind of fucktard buys such anal discharge?

       6 likes

    • In the land of the snowflake everybody is special. Only some are more special than others and the very least special are those missing an X chromosome who are also short on melanin. That is science so you can’t argue with it.

         3 likes

  17. Some cunt above hates chocolate. Fucking hard luck son. What the fuck has that got to do with it? .Easter is a holiday for people who actually go to work, remember that?
    Who fucking cares what it means, it’s few days off. Unbelievably hopeless attempt at cunting,Sack the cunt.

       3 likes

    • Yes I just saw that as breaking news on the ABBC.

      Three (yes three) explosions went off near Borrussia Dortmund’s team bus injuring Spaniard Marc Bartra in the process.

      It won’t be by a “peaceful” cunt or anyone or anything to do with the religion of “peace” will it.

      No, by tonight the ABBC will no doubt describe it as a confused football fan who didn’t agree with a 4-4-2 formation and who didn’t like chorizo.

      Why? Because the ABBC are cunts! Pure and simple CUNTS!

         8 likes

  18. Germany’s minister of Justice has thanked Dortmund for their handling of the situation, adding

    “You’ll never walk alone”

    Fuck of you snowflake, cuckolded CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!

    Where is the anger??????

    Where is the need for revenge??????

    You’ll never walk alone, lets all DIE together.

    Doss cunts.

    Have any of you noticed that the Muslim in the street always has his head held high ?
    Smug cunts the lot of them.

    If every, and i mean every terrorist attack was committed by a handsome Brit, I’d be worried about my surroundings in case i was being grouped with them, but no, not these Allah is great cunts.

    I’ve been trying to end this post politely, but i cant.

    Kill the cunts until the rest fuck off to wherever the cunts came from.
    Better still, stick them in a shitty sandy cuntry that hates the cunts

       7 likes

    • Never going to happen, the only way is to go somewhere there are no peaceful cunts and help make sure it stays that fucking way. Most of Europe is fucked, including UK. There are a few places in Eastern Europe who have the right idea, maybe go there. Or else maybe USA, although they are being infiltrated with the full complicity of the NWO deep state. Maybe South America?

         5 likes

    • Football hooligans throwing firecrackers, have caused a little irritation to locals in Dortmund this evening. Earlier suggestions that a disturbance had been caused by our most honoured and respectable guests,( who as you may well know, are peaceful and fully integrated into our wonderful fantasy of liberal society) is wholly unfounded.

      We sincerely apologise to our guests , that we, a miserable and bigoted race of puerile white people may have been discourteous in some way towards your most illustrious and civilised personage.

      Please be at liberty to engage in whatever pursuits you may feel necessary, and once again my sincere apologies.

      Yours Faithfully

      A gutless, clueless libtard, a traitor to my fucking race, a cunt of huge dimensions, a prick and a self serving twat.

      The Justice Minister.

         9 likes

    • Left to the “peaceful” cunts it will be: “You’ll never walk again!”

      Fucking cunts! Why isn’t the world pillioring these “peaceful” cunts???

      What’s the fucking angle here???

      Do they realise that as far as the “peaceful” cunts are concerned that a dead infidel is a dead infidel whether said infidel calls them out to be the cunts they are, or, if they attempt to appease them!

      When will the fucking sheep realise that the “peaceful” cunts hate us all equally and sucking up to the fuckers will only delay the beheading not cancel it!

      “Peaceful” cunts are cunts.

      “Peaceful” appeasing cunts are double cunts!

         6 likes

      • How many more heads of state or whoever do we have to listen to after a bombing, lorry murder etc saying words to the effect that “they will not win, we must stand together etc”
        The peaceful types don’t give a shit. As long as they take a few infidels out then job done.
        The only way to stop this murder spree is getting rid of the cunts. That’s not going to happen as it’s too late as the doors have been open for more than 5 minutes and the hordes keep coming.
        A start would be to shut the doors NOW and a bit of humble pie being eaten by the various governments around Europe.
        Also (fat chance of this either) the libtardvwankers actually opened their eyes and saw what was going on in the real world and not in their idealised version of it.
        Cunts.

           3 likes

    • I’ve just realized that it was a “famous” footballer that got injured.

      This could go two ways.
      1. Slebs and their ilk could see this as a wakeup call and get a clue.
      Or
      2. The injured footballer becomes a symbol of forgive and forget.

      My monopoly money’s on choice 2.

         8 likes

      • That could be it.
        And the burka/veil is so their tarts cant smell the stinky cunts.

        My peaceful neighbour stinks to fuck.

           6 likes

  19. When will people wake up to this?

    If you welcome loads of people into your country who want to kill you, guess what, they will try to kill you.

    Saying that, it was football cunts who deserve to die because football is penile discharge for cunts who like playing with dog turds.

       10 likes

  20. The only decent thing about Easter for me is getting the Friday and the Monday off. Apart from that, it’s a load of cunt. I’ll never buy Easter eggs as it’s a massive box surrounding a tiny egg and an even smaller bag of sweets. What a cunting rip off. I bought two big boxes of the Nestles Dairy Box chocs for 7 quid a box, so for 14 quid, I had 160 chocs. Better value than an egg I reckon. These weren’t for me though, as too much chocolate gives me the shits.

    Chocolate today tastes like blandwank. It’s not anywhere near as good as it used to be.

       7 likes

  21. Will Choi is a cunt… His ‘Whitewashing’ T-Shirt has now gone ‘viral’ with loads of snowflakes and chippy workers… His shirt features the names of four acters and actresses who are white, but were chosen for roles that should have apparently been ‘given’ to Asians… They say ‘Asians’ because we can’t even fucking say ‘Oriental’ now without some thin skinned mardarse like Choi taking offence.. Now, whether these movie stars and their films are actually good or bad isn’t the point… It’s more PC entitlement, racism against white actors, using the race card to get work, and total hypocrisy… Would Choi and all the knobs who endorse this shirt bat an eyelid if an ‘Asian’ was chosen to play a white part?… Oh no, that would be ‘diversity’, wouldn’t it?…. Fuck snowflake anti-white cunts…

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/item/6ef3cec4-cd49-417c-baaa-17fe4e70b1b0

       5 likes

    • Send human a T-shirt with Lucy wouldlovetofuckbirdman Liu on it.
      An Asian female playing Watson.

      I’m not complaining, but if he wants to be a cunt about it.

         6 likes

      • Send HIM a t-shirt.

        I fuckin hate making spelling mistakes, especially when I’m trying to be witty.

        I check, double check, triple check, find a mistake, correct mistake, check again then press ‘post comment’.

        Read back…… Fuuuuuuuck……

           5 likes

        • It’s the hypocrisy of snowflakes and the ‘diversity’ mob that I despise (OK, I despise them anyway)… All this fuss and whining about ‘whitewashing’ and Scarlett Thingy playing a chinky character (and another excuse to see her arse in a tight costume!)… Yet I heard no snowy cunt complain when Emma Watsername’s Harry Potter character was ‘made black’ and those BBC cunts held ‘Black (and queer and horse) actresses only’ auditions for Doctor Who…. Everything is one way with these cunts: Their way…..

             5 likes

      • Wonder if I can start a campaign about no white people being employed in chinese chippys, and accuse them of ‘yellow washing’?…

           7 likes

        • I have family in Oldham and Bolton, and when I’ve been and went to the chippy, it was always Chinese owned.
          In Scotland they are mostly, if not always Italian owned.
          In Northampton they are mostly owned by Pakistanis.

          I don’t think I’ve ever been in a British chippy.

             4 likes

          • The next time I’m back in beautiful Northampton, i think I’ll go into a Caribbean restaurant and ask for a job.

            That would be funny as fuck, so i might get someone to record it. 🙂

            Caribbean food is minging.

            Who the fuck wants a steak with banana and mango ??????

               3 likes

          • Not sure about the rest of the Caribbean Birdman, but Jamaican food is lovely. Never heard of steak with banana? Although you get Plantain which looks like a big banana but has a different flavour (not so sweet) they serve it for breakfast or as a small side with savouries. I’m giving up meat for a month soon, gonna eat mostly vegetarian and a bit of fish.

               1 likes

          • I’ve never heard if it either, i was just saying that there’s a lot of meat being served with fruit.

            I also can’t get my head around a curry having apple and sultanas in it and then add mango chutney.

            Eeeuuuuurrrrrgggghhhh

            As I’ve mentioned, contrary to popular belief, Quorn and Linda McCartney do some convincing fake meat, especially Linda McCartney’s mozzarella quarter pounders.

            Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

            I’d wish ye luck with it, but it’s actually quite easy to give up meat when there’s loads of tasty vegetarian food out there and ye think of the horrid conditions they poor animals go through as they wait to be murdered.

            Sssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddd

            Also, processed meat is fuckin, eh, fuck knows what processed meat is.
            I know it contains eyelids, lips, arselips, and anything else that looks unappetizing, but I’m sure it contains some more disgusting surprises.
            Stay clear of hot dogs.

               2 likes

    • Yeah but that is *big* news as far as the ABBC is concerned especially when today’s “peaceful” terrorist attack needs to be avoided (“They’re daily now, so live with it!” as quoted by “peaceful” London Mayor Khan)! Fucking ABBC cunts!

      “And today’s top story: a woman posts a letter with the stamp upside down. We head over to senior Royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell.”

      “Thank you George. Yes here is the letter and as you can see the Queen’s head is definitely upside down. We tracked the letter from Shepton Mallet where Ben Ando continues the story…”

      25mins later…

      “And finally 30 people dead and dozens more injured in a bit of a misunderstanding in Stockholm.”

      Cunts!

         5 likes

    • Remember if we went to their ching chong country and complained about human rights or mircoagressions we would be laughed at then shot with no trial and if we were fortunate enough to make it to trial probably rot away for 10 or 20 years in a rat infested no mattress cell

      Funny thing bout anime Norm is alot of it is huwhite asian males with annoying foofoo girls screaming like white californian suburbanite princesses so whos whitewashing who again?! fucking hollyweird should concentrate on making good movies rather then this anti-white race baiting campaigns…. Not that hollyweird knows how to make good films anymore haven’t for fucking years

         6 likes

      • And they would send an invoice for the cost of the bullet to your family.

        Yes the Chinese actually do this. But hey Hollywood gives a make believe role of one of those godawful minga cartoons to a big Hollywood star (surprise, surprise) and it’s *this* which causes the outrage to these faux hurt virtue signalling cunts.

        Do you know what would happen to these cunts in China if they kicked off like this? Well, if they were lucky, they’d be exiled. If they were unlucky then their family would now have to foot the bill for the cost of a bullet or face prosecution themselves.

        Cunts should just realise how fucking lucky they are!

        Oh and by the way faux hurt cunts, no one batted an eyelid when Halle Berry picked up the roles of both Catwoman – from the DC Comics franchise – and X-Men’s Storm – from the Marvel Comics franchise – in those movies did they?

        Now colour me simple, colour me stupid but from the limited number of those comics I bought as a kid, from what I remember both characters were paler than freshly drawn milk!

        No outcry there, and why? Because no one give a fuck, Halle Berry was as hot as hell and she was still box office at the time! That’s because Hollywood is in the business of making money and they do that by putting the biggest bang-for-their-buck star in as they can afford.

        So stop being ass-hurts you virtue signalling cunts, it’s just business for fuck’s sake!

           5 likes

  22. Personally, I’m looking forward to Easter this year. I shall spend Good Friday sitting on a beach in Namibia. Then on Easter Sunday I shall be travelling north on Rovos Rail before disembarking to spend Easter Monday at a game lodge in the Etosha national park

    With a bit of luck there won’t be a fucking chocolate egg in sight…

    Bollocks to it.

       7 likes

    • Ye may not see an easter egg, but if ye ask a guide nicely he’ll be able to show ye a few fly infested lookalikes being cradled in their mama’s arms. 🙂

         6 likes

  23. Every Christian event gets slated on here yet everyone moans about Muslims. It’s usually people who whinge about Muslims who say ‘this is a Christian country’ yet they slate Christianity. It’s no wonder Islam is the fastest growing religion here.
    Fellow cunters, ask yourself this when your dead are you going to have a church service? Did you get married in a church? And finally are you happy to abandon the principle this country was founded on?
    God bless you all.
    Now fuck off.

       10 likes

    • Is the coke that bad ?

      I’ve never been married and I’m never gonna unless i jump in a time machine to the sixties and bag Julie Christie .

      As for a church funeral, nah, Coop for me then the crematorium.

      Enjoy yer holidays, Black and White Cunt. 🙂

         5 likes

      • Easter has fuck all to do with Christianity, Mr B&WC.

        Eostre was an ancient pagan dawn goddess, rabbits and eggs are fertility symbols for celebrating Spring.

        All the positive aspects of Christianity were nicked from Neo-Platonists trying to make the monster of the Old Testament more acceptable to the civilized Greeks of the eastern Roman Empire.

        Christianity itself is a syncretic religion that combines several ideas – virgin birth, 12 followers, resurrection, etc – that were common in the ancient Middle East.

        Hating Christianity and Islam is perfectly acceptable as, along with Judaism, they are the same religion with different emphases.

        Happy Easter cunts. I hope the chocolate rots your teeth.

           2 likes

          • You obviously know more about the origins of Easter than me. Although the ‘this is a Christian country’ whingers argument I am right about.

               1 likes

        • I’m sorry, CMC but saying Easter has nothing to do with Christianity is like saying jihad has nothing to do with islam.

          So what if early Christians appropriated elements of pagan traditions while converting Northern Europe, a perfectly sensible thing to do. The themes of death and rebirth are inherent in the human condition and in nature itself and so it expected that they should be at the heart of most religions.

          B&WC; Sorry you have the holiday blues but you do not have to relinquish the fact that this is a Christian country even if you are not a Christian or that you slag off Christianity. UK is build on Judeo-Christian values in an ethical (rather than theological or liturgical) sense and one can admire and adhere to those ethical constructs without being either Christian or Jewish. However, islam does not share in those ethical values, something which is plain to see as every place islam finds a hold violence, rape and paedophilia are never far behind.

             4 likes

        • Shit feeling innit?

          It hits me when on the way home i start recognizing local streets.

          Three miles ago it was still holiday time, but then the local neighborhood comes into view and its holiday over. 🙁

             5 likes

    • All religions are make believe until proven otherwise.

      Please understand that “faith” is not the same as proof and – as Russell states – the burden of proof is on the believer not the denier, i.e., it is not up to me to disprove there is no supreme being or deity, it is up to them to prove that their is one (Russell’s Teapot).

      I have no problem with other people’s religious beliefs until they start to impinge on everyday life.

      I have never had any misgivings or run ins with Christians, Jews, Hindus or Sikhs because they’re not planning to blow the fuck out of people, or run them over, or attempt to cut their heads off as they leave an army barracks, etc., in *this* country.

      However there is one religion that does do this in this country, the religion of “peace” and hence why they deserve a continual cunting because it’s something that the press won’t do (even though they should).

         8 likes

      • Agreed. All religions are man-made, superstitious nonsense that fester on people’s hope and fear. Supernatural bollocks with a reward and punishment scheme.

           6 likes

      • That whole Youtube channel is fucking brilliant. And going by it’s name the uploader appears to be a woman which hopefully will boil some PC piss.
        Gives me some hope for the future…

           0 likes

        • Blokes with no tops on dancing about and hugging one another are heterosexual? Are you sure?

             0 likes

  24. Anybody see the fire at a refugee camp in Dunkirk ?

    The cunts were fighting each other and then set fire to the place.

    Even though they behaved like scumbags, the tensions are being blamed on refugees becoming angry at not being able to join their families in the UK.

    So its our fault.

    One cunt interviewed was named Ismael, no surname or nationality, just Ismael.
    He had short back and sides, black cotton bomber jacket (excuse the pun) t-shirt and black skinny jeans.
    He wouldn’t have looked out of place on Geordie Shore.

    The play swings were untouched by the fire, praise be to Allah the Cunt.

    Fuck em, fuck em, fuck em.

       14 likes

  25. The French Government ( and the Germans ) are not making much of anything at th.e moment. They are terrified that recent events will give further support to Marine Le Penn in the upcoming elections. Neither of the events mentioned has received the press it deserved, and any reference to “migrant populations” is being airbrushed over by politico speak ( fucking lies and shite peddaling )

    I hope the fuck that recent events do influence the upcoming election, and I do hope that Marine Le Penn sweeps all the other fake fuckers into the shite bin where all politico’s belong.

       12 likes

  26. In a recent speech ” mama” merkel launched into the recent spate of terrorism and the attacks on women by the peaceful ones, but according to her the problems don’t stem from her decision to let in a million plus virtually unchecked muslims? Oh no!! , apparently her government have been let down by local authorities and the police , she laid the blame of the 2015 cologne New Years sexual assaults, the Xmas market attack firmly at the door of local authorities , this has happened as “they” failed to intergrate the tsunami of peaceful people?? North Rhine – Westphalia have according to merkel “take the blame”!! , well I’m glad she’s cleared that up!, because I’ve always thought these problems we are hearing about all over Europe had something to do with her inviting millions of Muslims to flood into Europe!!!
    What a 24 carat cunt ……

       14 likes

    • Merkel needs an urgent referral to the ” Don” for inclusion on his ” To Do List “this week. Im sure that in his present state of mind he would not mind too much in sending a Tommahawk missile appropriately programmed for Merkels cunt.

      Its a big enough target!

         5 likes

  27. Howard Jacobson cunt. He has just written a book, supposedly a satire on the Trump administration called “Pussy” and has just been on Sky news pushing his very own brand of hate speech “Trump voters were uneducated” “Brexit voters were thick”. Well, you big nosed cunt, if you want to know why people voted for Brexit or Trump just look in the fucking mirror for you are the very exemplar of all things the people voted against in those two historic democratic events. A smarmy fully paid up member of the liberal metropolitan elite whose idea of a of a hard days work is venting your spleen at a word processor because your side lost in a democratic vote and you are too childish to accept it. Cunt!

       13 likes

    • Sky are absolute cunts!!, they continually give a platform for that kind of rubbish!!
      It’s an insidious campaign to try and change the publics perception of everything Brexit…..
      unfortunately it will work to some extent as a lot of the population don’t think further than the next biased negative piece of shite being spoon fed to them by Cunts like sky and the BBC!!

         11 likes

      • Personally, I think the hook nosed Jacobson and his pals are preaching to the choir on this one. Most people had the good sense not to listen to his shit pre Brexit and I think many remainers have now changed their minds when the project fear has turned out to be lies. Still, he has done something positive by writing a book about it, kerching!

           7 likes

  28. The US army are a bunch of useless fucking cunts. Why? Some yank cunt wants to buy my motorbike but is incapable of finding his way to me, a journey of less than 100 miles, and he says he did 30 years in the US army! Fucks sake! If this is the calibre of people the US military produces its little wonder Putin isn’t scared of them. Cunts!

       9 likes

    • North Korea v USA…….remember Vietnam? NK would make Khmer Rouge look like a bunch of pansies…they’re absolutely fucking mental.

      In the news this morning, the American fleet are steaming into the South China Sea.. The Pork Ball Muncher has said that if the Yanks come further, he’ll take out Seoul.
      China has mobilised 150k to the border, Sales of popcorn for the final showdown are massively up and tickets for ringside seats are in very short supply.

         7 likes

      • If you can get fucked over by Vietnamese farmers and towel heads with Stanley knives, I’d suggest they leave the fighting to absolutely anyone else….

           9 likes

        • Whatever Trump will do next, the Russians now know that he is unrealiable and weak and that his word cannot be trusted. At best he is a reluctant puppet so far american military generals like Mathis are massive liars

             5 likes

          • I think you will find the opposite is true. Putin now knows he cant encourage Assad to gas Syrian children without the possibility of a shitstorm. Trump might be a cunt but the Russian Mafia have been given pause for thought.

               5 likes

          • You actually believe that shit, Cuntstable? Until an independent enquiry is held into the alleged gassing it is entirely possible it never took place and was yet another propaganda event staged by the white helmets. And even if it was Assad, the blame must fall squarely on the West and others ( I’m looking at you, Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Israel ) for funding and equipping the insurgency in the first place and for ignoring the peace plan brokered in 2012 by the Russians which would have seen Assad removed from power.

            In fact, if you want to go back far enough it was Britain and France who carved up the middle East between them after WW1.

            When are we going to learn? Fucking with the Middle East always has bad results for all concerned. Leave them the fuck alone.

               5 likes

          • Skid. It has been found that the pilot of the Syrian plane dropped a conventional bomb on a warehouse used by ISIS for munitions. It also contained chemicals.

            This is fucking miles away from the initial frenzied hysterical report, that Assad dropped Sarin .

            Turkey provide the original evidence, and they just LOve Assad Don’t they. ?

            Trump fucked up. The Ruskies know that, and he’s held in the same regard as fuckwit Kim

               1 likes

  29. ……………..And that Richard Keys is still a top notch cunt of the first order……………cunt…………….Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah

       4 likes

  30. I’m boycotting religion this Easter as it it’s all bollocks.

    Happy Easter fellow cunters, I’m off for a nice toasted hot plus bun.

       7 likes

  31. A special early easter cunting for Germany’s SDP general secretary katarina bailey, according to this sack of German shite the UK should have another vote after the terms of Brexit are confirmed?, apparently nobody in the UK either public or political class knew what Brexit was about??
    Listen up kraut!! We all knew enough to vote to leave the anti democratic German dominated festering pile of liberal shit you call the EU..
    so go and fuckin do one!! Cunt!!!

       8 likes

    • What a surprise. Another German who doesn’t like the magnificent EU referendum result. Sorry, does it interfere with your latest take-over of Europe?

      Sanctimonious, sausage-eating, sour kraut künt.

         8 likes

    • Why in fuck these people are given a platform to gob off this shite is beyond me. The cunt is a kraut, what decisions we reach, and how we come to that decision has fuck all to do with a bunch of festering fucking toady krauts who are destined to fuck up all of Europe , as they carve out the emerging 4th Reich. Fuck them all!

         8 likes

  32. Germany is welcome to be the major player in the EU, Greece is bankrupt, Portugal, Spain, Italy economic basket cases with massive youth unemployment. If one of these economies fails the Euro and Eurozone are fucked, would be a laugh to give the jocks their frrrreeeedom and watch Wee Jimmy Krankie come crawling back when it all goes tits up.

       8 likes

  33. The Leicester City fans causing trouble ahead of their champions league quarter final are a bunch of moronical, yes moronical cunts.

    This should be a good time, and should be enjoyed by everyone supporting the world famous Foxes.
    Yet, we got the usual idiots trying to recreate the battle of Trafalgar.

    “spanish bastards, gibraltar is ours”

    I could understand it, if it was banter between them and Atletico fans, but against the riot police ?
    Thats fuckin stupid.
    24 hrs before the game, and eight have already been atrested.

    We’re not Millwall or Sevco, so get a grip and COYB.

    Cue new cunting…… 🙂

       4 likes

  34. Another 29 Peaceful people up in court next month charged with child-trafficing,rape and sexual abuse of young girls,some of them under 11 years old. What a novelty. Although they are filth,just how weak and ineffectual must the police and social services be,to let these things happen for so long. Being accused of “Racism” seems to be a bigger consideration than the care and protection of the vulnerable.

    I detest muzzie paedos,but I find the craven cowardness displayed by the “Authorities” to be equally repulsive. They should be charged with Aiding and Abetting.

       14 likes

    • Quite agree. It seems all authorities bury their head in their hands when it comes to dealing with camel cunts. This must stop!. The fact that these cunts are allowed to form ghettos and hide within their community disgusts me, and the fact that they have infiltrated every level of authority, including Social Services is a fucking disgrace. No Muslim will grass on another.
      It is a disgrace that these cunts were ever allowed into the country, and the political class are the bastards who waved the twats in.

         8 likes

    • These anti-british judges who give lenient sentences piss me off even more. If I was judge I would have these scumbags fingernails ripped off with plyers there time in prison would be a living hell…. depending of the severity of the crime of course. But even worse then the judges are the brainless open border pro rapeugee pro-islam politicians like May, Corbyn, Flabbott, Blair, Wee krankie

      No pity for whores tho, Poland is the most Christian, conservative and anti-multiculturalist country in Europe, and this dumb slag bitch goes to London and all the sudden she’s not only screwing the kebab shop worker but blowing his Paki friend on the side. absolutely disgusting cunt hope you enjoyed clingwrap death you whore! http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/obsessed-ex-boyfriend-murdered-young-10178907

         4 likes

      • One day, our political class will be called to account for all of the shite, that has been rammed down our throats ( without our consent ) and there will be a day of reckoning. It will of course be far too late by that time, but I would like to think that some angry whiteman will get the chance to rip the balls off all surviving fucking politicians, and thrust them deeply up their arseholes. Cunts

           6 likes

        • Can we start a competition to devise the most painful and appropriate punishment for politicians and other festering cunts?

             5 likes

          • Red-hot pokers up arses, red-hot knitting needles in ears, acid in ears, suffocation by The Flabbott face-sitting, broken snooker cues rammed up snout into brain (what brain ?, I hear you ask), boiling Nitromors up arse…

            Am now working on Bliar, Camp-bell-end and Mandelbumfiddler…

               1 likes

      • Fuckin hell that girls got a head the size of a pumpkin!!!
        He must have needed at least 2 rolls of cling film for that alone….

           3 likes

    • It’s a good job you mentioned that Dick because – courtesy of the mainstream media – the rest of us would never have known.

      Had they not been “peaceful” types then it would have been news for weeks! Anyone remember the Redcar/Cleveland child abuse scandal? That was the top story on most channels for over a month!

      This and the Redcar case are deplorable and despicable but it would seem – in the eyes of the press – some are less deplorable and despicable than others.

      Especially if perpetrated by “peaceful” cunts!

      I neither know nor understand why the authorities and press pussyfoot around these “peaceful” cunts? There’s no advantage to it.

      Like I say, sucking up to and appeasing these cunts will not protect them from the cunt’s wrath, it’s merely a stay of execution – literally!

         3 likes

  35. Fuck Easter, fuck the rabbit and fuck Jesus.
    Fuck all holiday celebrations based or revolved on money, gifts, food and special items required for the special day .
    All they give me is extra work , and an opportunity to family cunts to get the drop on you and bore or fuckin nag you to death.

    I only wish Jesus was still alive to have to endure this shite like all of us do.

       3 likes

    • If Mohammed were alive today, he would probably fuck the rabbit, then the goat , then the….

         6 likes

    • That’s a little harsh don’t you think? Let’s not forget that the Son of God threw the moneylenders out of the temple. On the other hand, if he were around today, a fat brown envelope, free access to choirboys and a seat in the Lords would shut the cunt up. Hallelujah to the Lord Jesus!

         5 likes

    • As J R Cuntley pointed out YESTERDAY, easter is zombie worship.
      Maybe Shaun Of The Dead 69 has his hands full.

         5 likes

    • That’s only because there are no new cunts offered up. It’s like being stuck with the last girl on the dancefloor at the end of the night. That’s how Maggie met Dennis, Hilary met Bill and Flabbott got off with Jezzer. Never a good idea. Best to fuck off home and jerk yourself off. There’ll be better days.

         5 likes

  36. I shat in the hole on the fourth green of the local golf course while walking home one night after supping a belly-full of Dog’s Snout…a lethal mix of Guinness and Gin. I wouldn’t recommend either experience to fellow Cunters.

       6 likes

    • Guinness and gin?! yuck sounds like a nasty combination M8 I dunno maybe it tastes good tho Haven’t tried a whole lot gin cocktails I had a salty dog once, 4 parts grapefruit 2 parts gin mix w/ ice in a sea salt rimmed glass. It was bretty gud actually

      I’m actually thinking of buying some gin soon because I’ve never had a martini before (weird I know) and now that Trump is starting 3 different wars at the same time I can’t think of a better time to pick some up. I’ve don’t know what brand to pick up tho I was thinking gibsons or beefeater but I’m not sure I’m not well experienced with gins… Any suggestions punters?

         3 likes

      • Bombay Sapphire is a good gin,T.S.,but DONT under any circumstances mix it with Guinness ( Three measures of gin to every half-pint of Guinness) to make a Dog’s Snout. It tastes ok at the time,but the effect it had on me was appalling… what I took to be witty banter was,apparently, more like Chubby Brown at a Tourettes sufferer’s stag party. I lost all sense of decorum,inhibitions and, by the time I got home, underwear.

           5 likes

        • Bombay saphire is good but overpriced. Tanquari is just as good as is plymouth. I like a dirty martini with a shot of olive juice.

             2 likes

          • “Bombay saphire is good but overpriced” I’ve noticed that I don’t mind paying a bit extra but I might just get whatevers discounted or promoted Yeah a dirty martini sounds good got a few bottles of olives in the fridge just need the dry vermouth and gin.

            Also have a bottle of dubonnet handy (love that stuff) to make a nice dubonnet/gin cocktail also known as the queen mother thanks 4 the suggestions M8s funny story DK hope you found your underwear …

               3 likes

    • The fourth hole on my local course is my nemesis. A 198 yard par 3 over 170 yards of water.

      So last week as I addressed the ball on the tee, I looked skyward and said “God, if you do exist, let this one fly and land a foot from the hole.”

      Suddenly a voice bellowed from the sky and said “Use a new ball, they go further”.

      So I put a new ball on the tee.

      As I get ready to hit it the voice appears again and says “Take a couple of practice swings.”

      So I take a few practice swings and as I walk to ball, the voice bellows from the sky once again and says “Use the old ball”…

         3 likes

        • Sainsbury’s Blackfriars gin also well worth a try – made by Greenall’s, I believe.

          My slight worry, with all these bloody expensive “craft” versions turning up, can we still stick tonic water or ginger beer in ??

          I tried getting a pink gin a year or two back, the toddler behind the bar didn’t know what Angostura was…

          After all the explaining, I needed several large ones…

             2 likes

  37. Is this the best Easter joke ever:-

    Jesus is on the cross, and he sees Peter in the distance, crying. “Peter, come to me!”
    As Peter proceeds, a big Roman guard with a menacing sword steps in front of him, and slices off Peter’s right arm.

    “Peter, come to me!” says Jesus again, so Peter continues on his path to his saviour. Peter steps forward but the Roman soldier cuts off his left arm.

    “Peter, come to me!” Jesus urges.
    His body dripping with blood, his former shoulder squirting red from the wound, Peter steps forward but the Roman soldier steps forward and brutally stabs him in the stomach.
    “Peter, my son, come to me!” Jesus gasps, breathlessly. Beginning to feel faint, Peter rolls toward his Lord, finally using his mouth to bite the grass in front of him and continue dragging himself towards the son of God.

    Finally, Peter reaches his destination. “Yes my Lord, what do you request from me?”

    “Peter… ” says Christ, “Peter… I can see your house from here.”

       7 likes

    • Nice one Captain.

      I heard it with the punchline where Jesus says to Peter,
      “Save me an egg, I’ll be back on Monday”….

         6 likes

  38. …. can I throw in a ‘drive past’ Cunting to Pauline Cafferkey, the Glaswegian nurse with the Ebola virus. The Cunt is heading back to Sierra Leone to try and raise a bit of cash out there to help some local charities ….
    The Cunt was on the radio today , bumbling on about how she is feeling health wise, hoping she will be fit to travel, and hopefully be able to do her bit for the people of Sierra Leone.
    How about she raises some money in THIS FUCKING COUNTRY for the cost she has caused the NH fucking S !!!! It must have run into zillions of fucking pounds to look after her and ship her around in her fucking bubble, being treated by the UK’s finest and not forgetting the fact that she could have caused a major fucking epidemic in the UK … …. Now that does boil my piss !!

       8 likes

    • Now that’s a cunting, Boilsmypiss.

      That cunt endangered all our lives.
      She should be locked up for attempted mass murder, seeing as she knew she had it but travelled home by air anyway.

      After she’s completed her sentence, and is released, some hero should slit the evil bitches throat with a big fuck off knife.

      Or let her go to Sierra Leone and get Gilbert Graped by a machete.

      This cunt should have bagged herself a COTY for willingly putting us all in danger.

      Did the radio pull her up for being a cunt ?
      Or did they make her a hero ?

         6 likes

      • … In (semi) fairness to the interviewer, she did pussy foot around the issue of PC’s health, never saying how brave she was … alot of the conversation was by PC on how PC was feeling at the moment, health wise … however, I did feel the interviewer was holding back on … ‘Don’t you feel you are being an utter, utter Cunt … you were so close to popping your cloggs the last time … haven’t you learned your fucking lesson to stay out of that shit hole ?’ … but you just know that question would have been wasted.

           9 likes

      • Yea total cunt!

        Typical racist libtard!

        Fine to pass deadly diseases on to white people as long as she can cure some blacks in the process!

           3 likes

  39. Sod raising money for the poor of Sierra Leone, that’s what the foreign aid budget is for, minus the fuckwit celebs guilt tripping with appeals. Dortmund players are cunts too, wearing t-shirts with their team mates face on it ,who wait for it……had some cuts and a broken bone in his hand.

       7 likes

    • They must be grieve stricken!!
      I’m surprised they haven’t decided to hold a candlelit vigil to remember all the people that were hurt?? Maybe have a minutes silence before the game to remember all the suffering?? How about a memorial stone outside the ground??
      Given time maybe it will be mentioned in the same breath as the Munich?? The Dortmund bus fiasco!! Cunts……

         7 likes

  40. This pathetic attention seeking selfish bitch deserves a cunting all on her own. It’s a shame I can’t be arsed to do it myself but one of you lazy fuckers needs to step up to the plate. Hey…we’re a community aren’t we?

       5 likes

  41. Good news for those cunts, Manchester City, this morning….
    Striker, Jesus has returned to training….

    (checks calendar)
    A fucking miracle….

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  42. Charlton Athletic are not cunts…. Their simple but respectful tribute to the late PC Keith Palmer was both right and fitting… Paying their respects to a lifelong Addicks supporter, without all the usual griefjacking, bells and whistles, and mawkish Scouse-like self pity…. Also met some top Charlton fans when United played them in the Cup in 94 (Schmichel got sent off… The cunt)… Another plus point is their undying hatred of the diabolical Crystal Palace…

       4 likes

  43. Good morning everyone…… Hmmm I see we are on day 3 of cunting Easter.

    I see Pauline Cafferey is up to her fucking attention seeking shite again, as pointed out in boilmypiss’s well deserved rant.
    This stupid cunt cost the nation tens of millions because of her fucking crass stupidity and her reckless behaviour in falsifying her medical record upon re-entry to the UK.

    These fucking idiots who fuck off to shite ridden countries to” do their bit” should all be detained in isolation offshore upon return.( I strongly suggest somewhere like Ascension Island ) And they should be irradiated with Radio Active Iodine for good measure. Any surviving flesh can be bottled and stored in Lily Allens Bathroom. The green glow will provide adequate and subtle light to enhance Lily’s ablutions.

    Cafferey is a cunt, a stupid cunt, and we are all fucking cunts for letting cunts like this put all of our lives in danger, and we are monstrous cunts for our adulation of specimens of shite like her.

       5 likes

  44. Once a cunt, always a cunt…. I refer to Dog/Skeletor/Yoko/Posh Spice…

    Fashion designer?! Please pick me up off the fucking floor… There’s that for a start…
    But trademarking your kid’s name, that sounds like a toilet cleaner?! And also trademarking the other three little cunts at the same time?… Irritating as they all are, I’m sure it’s reassuring for the Beckham brats to know that they are all ‘brand names’ as opposed to human beings (albeit little cunts of human beings, of course)… I suspect the horrible tart is going to put a load of crap on the market… A sort of inferior and tacky version of Paul Newman’s salad dressing…. Brooklyn’s Baked Beans?…. Cruz Crisps?….Harper Six (or is it seven?) Sink Unblocker?…. Fucking hell… She’s like a female Fagin… ‘Make me money, my dears…’

    ‘Posh’ (again,more image bullshit) is an even bigger cunt than I thought…
    And I thought she was one of the biggest cunts on the planet to begin with…

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39586481/victoria-beckham-trademarks-her-daughter-harpers-name-in-britain-and-europe

       3 likes

    • Nice cunting and well deserved Norman!
      The fucking anorexia tribe are hawking their wares again and as you rightly point out , they’ve got the little runts potted and in grow bags ready to flourish.
      The cunt I hate the most is that skeletal VB, y’know, the xylophone ribbed bitch that married that useless squeaky cunt DB. Posh, Christ! She’s as common as the shit on a ragheads cock.
      It must be a fucking morbidly slow news day for those cunts to feature.
      Any updates on “Mines bigger than Yours!” ( Trump v Putin ) would be most welcome.

         2 likes

    • their next kid’s name will be “Aytill”… ‘coz the slag-mother gets knocked up in an “Eight til late”, bent over the frozen fish…

      More kunts that should just FO&D.

      I wonder if a well-known glossy magazine will take legal action…

         0 likes

  45. Easters been an absolute goldmine! It’s the thread that just keeps giving!! Can’t wait for that other commercial wankathon Xmas!! ” jingle bells jingle bells” FUCK OFF!!
    😂

       6 likes

    • Oh fuck…..you mentioned Xmas…. Cunt!

      Once easter is over and the eggs gone, we bring out the fucking xmas stuff in the shops….ohh fuck… Quislings….does that mean this thread is a perpetual continuum?

         4 likes

      • And all the old British traditions are gone because of greed… First they fucked the licensing laws: which killed off pubs and alehouses by the score and spread pissed up chavs in back gardens like a disease… Then half day Wednesdays went, now every fucker is open on Sunday (my local Spar and Co-Op are open Easter Sunday!)… Next thing to go will be Christmas Day closing. and then there’ll be nothing… Bank holidays will be abolished permanently (except w@g ones, of course) and one can imagine some poor cunt working a shop on Easter Sunday or Christmas… Some Little Hitler will be strutting around, barking that this ‘target’ or that ‘total’ needs to be reached that day, yet there is no fucker out on the streets…

           4 likes

      • We’ve got a little breathing space before the big push for Xmas!!, the next heist is 18th june( Father’s Day) a tsunami of advertising to remind us Cunts to open our wallets!, with begging season in full swing on TV it’s one relief appeal after another , before you know it your have little cunts banging on your door screeching ” trick or treat?” Not forgetting November the 5th!! As the last fireworks lit Tesco, Sainsbury’s and every other bastard will start the gruelling relentless march towards Xmas!! , and just when you think it couldn’t possibly get any worse a week later your hit by an avalanche of fake Bon ami and Scottish TV on New Year’s Eve!!, without doubt my least favourite night of the year!! Shoe horned into your local where the landlord shows the real spirit of the evening by asking you for an entrance fee, keen to join in this night of celebration the taxis double their rates!
        Easter is undoubtedly a cunt but Xmas is the daddy!!

           2 likes

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