I have heard on the grapevine ISAC Cunt of the Year nominee Tony B.Liar was disappointed to have been pipped to the post by Timmy Far-rong. His Mon Cherie was hoping he would have received at least one award for 2016. In the absence of being included in the New Year’s Honours List and not receiving a Nobel Peace Prize – despite the fact his chum Obummer got one years ago – he is feeling down in the dumps.
So he wanted us at ISAC to be the first to hear of his latest charity venture. We have been given a sneak preview of a speech from the B.Liars on their latest charity venture, as follows:
“As I am sure you are aware, I am devoting more time to charitable causes in 2017 (got to get a gong somehow) having wound down my consultancy work. This has nothing to do with the outcome of the Chilcot report as some unkind commentators have suggested.
My wife holds human rights dearly and in her legal practice has been an advocate of refugee rights. In 1997, I too opened up the doors of Britain to the world’s ‘needy’ and they have proved to be model citizens, ok, apart from a few who have joined ISIS, some who grope young women and those others who shoplift and rob old ladies. The rest contribute greatly to our society, keeping civil servants, housing office and local government staff in employment, processing various claims and applications.
I am aware some of you are unhappy that the country feels a bit overcrowded: the hospital waiting lists a bit longer, you have a little delay to get an appointment to see the GP and sometimes your kiddies only get their fourth choice school. However, just remember, even Mary and Joseph found there was no room at the inn but still managed to give birth to the baby Jesus in a stable, so if we all move down the bus, I am sure we can all fit in.
With the ongoing refugee crisis we felt we should help the poor child refugees. Mon Cherie will be providing pro-bono legal advice to the children, costing them nothing at all. Of course, there will be some expenses and other overheads she will incur, which will be kindly met by HM Government through the Legal Aid system.
In addition, we will also be raising funds through donations from generous people such as yourselves in order to pay for certain essentials.
Most of the refugees are young boys – but are very mature looking for their ages – so we urgently need to buy Philishaves and pay for dental treatment for the removal of wisdom teeth, before they are assessed by the Home Office.
So please donate to this worthy cause, named simply Children Are Safe Here (C.A.S.H).
Unfortunately, we are unable to accept credit card donations at this time but you can make cheques out to C.A.S.H. Rest assured, we will certainly put your money to good use. We hope to roll in, sorry, roll out CASH across Europe assisting young refugees make a better life in Europe (for them, not you).
Thank you all for your kind support.”
Nominated by Mike Oxard.