Childrens’ TV

Childrens’ TV is a cunt.

Every show, the kids have more power and money than their parents.

They never seem to be ten pence short for a pizza and their parents would probably need therapy if their poor darling were.

They also teach the kids that the word “no” doesn’t exist, which is just setting the slick little fuckers up for a great fall………….

Nominated by: Birdman

90 thoughts on “Childrens’ TV

  1. It’s also infected with scotch cunts, every fucking programme full of jocks.

    Don’t get me started on all the PC bollocks these days, frankly some of the programmes from a even just a few years ago simply would not be made today as they would not be deemed PC enough, as in a family with two white kids with two white parents, not a half breed, Asian or spastic in sight simply would not get made today.

    Every programme that has a group of kids has to hot ‘quota’ totally unrepresentitive of the UK population as a whole (sadly not for much longer with the peaceful folk entering the UK by their millions and breeding like rats), there has to be a wheelchair/physical disability, mong, black kid, brown asian, oriental asian, a white girl (but not blond), as least one half and half brown/white or black/white kid and a ginger white boy. Soon there will have to transgender kid too I’m sure of it.

    Load of old bollocks, teaching kids that abnormal is normal is child abuse and these liberal cunt programme makers are the last people we need near our kids and should be locked up.

    • And let’s not forget they (the ABBC) knew what Savile was up to and were more than happy to turn a blind eye cos it suited their ratings! Cunts!

  2. I barely watch any of the terrestrial channels these days and so have no litmus for the kids programming we might make but the shit on Sky is this sugary sweet “everyone’s a friend” yank shite which bares no resemblance to reality, not even to the most liberal/diverse of US cities.

    The beeb will no doubt be producing PC liberal brainwashing tomes with a rainbow cast from every continent, a couple of raspberries, and boy pretending to be a girl alongside a girl pretending to be a boy to ensure the LGBT quota is also met.

    When I was a kid you had the 1970’s version of Grange Hill where you had the nasty cunt bully Gripper Stebson, the “bit of a character” Tucker Jenkins (who avoided getting ploated by Stebson on a regular basis through guile, wit and having a fuck off big mate Alan who did Judo). The girls had their own cliques and were generally bitches to any other girl not part of that clique, or any former member of that clique who’d fallen out of favour.

    By the time I was due to go into high school at the start of the ’80s I was absolutely bricking it because I thought Grange Hill was real and that everyone was a nasty cunt and to be well on my guard for the “Stebson factor”.

    It turned out that it wasn’t as bad as it was portrayed on Grange Hill but that was a welcome relief and I did feel somewhat prepared. You still got the cunts there, the characters, and the girls were definitely bitches of the highest order to one another (boys would scrap but the girls could be pure evil at times).

    Contrast this with my daughter’s best friend’s 1st day at high school having been spoon fed the “everyone’s a friend” liberalist mantra in junior school. This is the school nearest to us, about 1/2mile away, which fortunately my kids don’t go to (they get the bus to a decent school a few miles away). My kids don’t go to this nearest school because it’s basically a (sports) “Academy” for no-hoper thick cunts who’ll only need to know how to sign on when they leave at 15 (and are probably pregnant if of the female persuasion).

    Her friend walked through the gates, eyes wide as saucers (armed with a heavy dose of liberalism) makes eye contact with another pupil (no malice or harm intended – just curiosity) and promptly gets twatted in the face! First day at high school, and didn’t even make it to the classroom!

    My first day at high school involved me looking at my shoes a lot and avoiding bigger kids. I survived and actually went on to enjoy my time at school.

    I was grateful for the honesty of the kids dramas of the time including Auntie Beeb’s programming. Since the socio-libero agenda took hold in 1997, courtesy of Tony Blair’s reign of terror (with the ABBC more than willing to accommodate), it’s all gone to pot, propagating generation snowflake. Cunts!

    • If I was making a new kids sit com these days, say based in the Gorbals in Glasgow, I’d just cast one kid as black with curly ginger hair and slinty eyes in a wheel chair and a hole where his ball sac used to be going blind and wearing a suicide vest. Spose you could put a yiddish skull cap on the crown of its head aswell but that would look fucking stoopid.

      • The Gorbals used to be the Yiddish skull cap capital of Scotland.
        The last i stayed overnight in the Gorbals, was years ago, and it was a Pakistani workmate that put me up.
        His girlfriend was white and they had a baby.
        This was in the early nineties, so your programme suggestion might already be up and running.

    • Talking of Gripper Stebbson in my year we had one of the most inoffensive, pleasant and intelligent lads in our year getting called Gripper Griffiths after a completely warranted group school bag attack on a social inadequate.
      He was in tears when he was “Bertied” ( size 10 plimsol) across the arse by the pe teacher.
      Didn’t help his mum was a teacher at our school either.
      And he hated getting called Gripper too.
      Ah memories!

      • We used to have a lad at school, who was a complete cunt, and bullied everyone, including me. As I was quite small at the time I was a bit scared of him until he went too far and I ended up twatting him over the head with one of the school desk chairs. He promptly turned into a big girl’s blouse and burst into tears. He never tried to bully me again, and I have seen him after I left school, and he hasn’t grown. I have, and am bigger than him now, so he can fuck right off, the bullying cunt!!!!!

    • Pregnant females! Don’t try to oppress ME you ethno-phallic fascist blah blah blah 😉

    • So you were afraid of the Stebson effect? You were built like that Grange Hill character Rollie were you?

      • No but I did have a “Black and White” best mate who’s brother preceded us and who was harder than a bag of nine inch nails dipped in titanium with diamond tips.

        The closest I ever came to the “Stebson Effect” was being asked: “You XYZ’s brother’s mate?”


        They would walk along. Pretty lucky really seeing how I was fucking coward!

        The only time I really bricked myself properly was when a few oiks cornered me on an estate in Cumbernauld when I was visiting my Auntie. Luckily me Uncle Billy cottened on and came out armed with a Pinseeker 7 iron.

        He always said it was the best club in his bag!

    • I remember that black girl in Grange Hill that tried to help Roland. “Ro-land!” She was great actually, because she wasn’t shoehorned into the series with the typical cuntish liberal pc bleeding heart rubbish. She was just a normal kid from a normal family going to school, and as far as I remember none of the other kids could give a fuck that she was black. Nowadays she’d be the target of “systematic racism” at every turn thanks to all the white male schoolkids and teachers, and her Mum and Dad would be highly intelligent and successful black professionals, struggling to realize their liberal ideals, battling against the system that’s always putting blacks down.

      • Agree, Fiddy.

        Grange Hill was true to what would have actually been the demographic of the day in a North London school. A mix of black and white kids with the odd Asian added in.

        If GH was made today (maybe it still is, I don’t know) it’d be full of kids in wheelchairs, eastern Europeans and a token white kid plus one with Downs or some sort of inclusion bollocks. Story lines would consist of how hard it is for the immigrant children to integrate due to racism, blah blah blah and how hard their struggle would have been getting into the country via the underneath of a lorry or something. The only difference in this and real life, though, would be said immigrant would actually be played by a thirteen year old and not a 25 year old.

        Oh, and the BBC went left wing earlier than 1997 as Rebel says above – although I agree it went nuclear in the Bliar (sic) days. Pigeon Street way back in the early 80’s started it all. I fucking hated it even as a ten year old. I could see what was happening even at that age. Who the fuck lives on a street like that in real life? Fucking no-one, that’s who.

  3. Liberal leftards who drink deep at the cesspit of pc are one of the most damaging elements our society is facing. I totally agree with your comments re the brainwashing of children via kids tv. Sometime ago I “watched” some programs at the request of my 6 year old granddaughter. Well, one puts on a brave face in such situations so I watched; fuck me Goebbles (German spelling not my strong point) would have been very proud. At one stage of the process I asked granddaughter if someone had given her a strange dvd and was she playing said dvd I even checked the player no, CBBC. How the hell does one go about explaning to a young bright kid that the World can be pretty shitty without scaring her to death. Your friends daughter should not have to learn that the world is full of arseholes on her first day at a new school. I suppose we fight the good fight and pray someone with some clout notices (lol)

  4. When my kids come and stay the only channel they watch is Cartoon Network.
    No fluffiness there. In fact there’s some down right weird and disturbing stuff on that.( Adventure Time and Regular Show) which I actually enjoy too. Because it’s weird and disturbing.
    But the gem is the Amazing world of Gumball.
    Yes it is for kids but it pushes some themes that wouldn’t be out of place on South Park.
    All I’ll say is a Banana watching Orange porn. Complete with a box of tissues!

    • Fucking hell, by coincidence I have just watched the first two episodes of the regular show, funny as fuck and no way a kids only cartoon.

      • Ren & Stimpy was great when it started… Funny shit and lots of British crew involved… That’s why they had music from Terry & June, News At Ten, and The Two Ronnies… But, of course, the Yanks ruined it and turned it into an ‘adult’ (ie: queer) cartoon: where Ren and Stimpy arsefuck each other….

    • Regular show and adventure time are brilliant.
      The whole lot has got to be written on mushrooms.

  5. My daughter love’s Top Cat,She’s 19,Sometimes i call the with hong kong fuey ,Because when i do something in the house she takes the credit for it so i feel like the cat,I fucking hated Pipkins the hare looked like road kill or some sort of zombie animal ,It scared the shit out of me,I still love miss piggys cheeks ??.

  6. Well I suppose in these cunting PC times we now live in,I”ll have to stick with “Watch With Buddha”…….Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  7. Zippy was a nasty cunt at times!

    Poor George’s arsehole must’ve been like a hosses collar!

    • The famed rude episode is real. Just it was made for cast and crew.
      “Have you seen Bungles Twanger?”

  8. I used to like Paperplay… It had two spiders, called Itsy and Bitsy…
    It also had Susan Stranks, who had great tits….

    • I’m currently paying too much to watch TV in all its forms and won’t pay any more.
      So was particularly disappointed to hear that the world origami championships would only be available on paper view…..

    • Weren’t itsy and bitsy just gloves worn by a guy blacked up? They used to rearrange letters on her t shirt, which even as a kid looked like he was just giving those fine boobs a jiggle. Still, more entertaining than the screeching drivel the dustbin lids watch today.

  9. Bod was a cunt, and a forerunnrer for all this PC trannybender diversity shite (is it a boy or a girl? And all that bollocks)… The Derek Griffiths jazz ‘Doo-Dek-A-Doo’ soundtrack also grated… And the frog with the milkshake?! What the fuck was all that about?!…

  10. Bananas in pyjamas was bloody ace tho, You know the best thing about bananas in pyjamas is? they’re in pyjamas and they are bananas you silly cunt! lol but seriously there was no lesson to be learned from that show

    In fact the bananas always made a huge fucking mess of everything constantly screwing up the simplest of tasks but despite that they would still get awarded for their mistakes and fuckups The show went to shite though, when it went from live action to animated… yes the live action was that good Heres a small taste it was made in Oz I believe

    • That Ooglies show is funny… Household objects and food with goggly eyes… Best ones are the boiled eggs doing an ‘Evil Kneivel’ over an egg slicer, and an evil blender that lures all the fruit in and mashes them…

    • Only because the grief jacking mongs forgot he died but this death anniversary stuff is bollocks. Its typical he is so famous now, in the 90’s through til 2015 his popularity was very much lacking and rightfully so because he was coming out with really oddball shite like Outside, Reality and Heathen

    • Gave my mate in work (Bowie fan) a home made ‘happy first anniversary of David Bowie dying’ card, after getting fed up about hearing that cunt Vine going on and on about it. I’m sure you will be able to buy them next year…..

  11. The other day Mary Hinge cunted Hayden Cross, Britain’s “first pregnant man”.
    I’m reading yesterdays Mirror and it is in it again.
    The cunt is unemployed,gets free housing, gets free sex change and is now having a baby.
    How is this something to celebrate.
    The cunt has already cost the tax payer £29,000 for its NHS gender reassignment process, add onto that his dole and rent.
    And now its under the care of NHS maternity services.
    How much has this unemployed freak paid into the system ?
    A liitle bit of tax from its free dole, and no more.
    I thank the lizards everyday that I’m a bitter cunt, coz fuck having a character that buys into this shite.

    Piss is boiling, and I’m off for a doob to calm down.

    • To think my granddad, and thousands like him, fought a war so this circus freak abomination of a leeching cunt could have it large…

    • Any baby that the nasty little freak produces should be taken off it immediately. The kid has no chance of growing up normal with that as a parent.

      The likes of hayden cross, and that other revolting creature Lauren Harries should be sent for electric shock treatment or a lobotomy.

      Bring back freak-bashing.

      • For fucks sake Men do not have baby’s women have baby’s. All the cunt is is a women who looks like a man. Fucking papers will be the death of me, she is a women thus able to give birth using bits that men do not have. Thank whatever God is having a good laugh for you brave, fearless cunters you keep me hanging on.

    • If it’s a bloke, can i knock it the fuck out ?
      The cunt looks smug as fuck, coz it knows its taking the piss.
      Lets get a pool going to guess the name of the baby.

      If it’s a girl = Stuart
      If its a boy = Kimberly Sue

    • Fucking circus act, freak show cunts like this should be put down and not humanely either.
      This cunt is one of the biggest piss takers ever to be in the papers and/or cunted on this prestigious site.
      It has come to the point where any pervert can have thousands spent on it at our expense just because they fancy a change.
      Pay for it yourselves you cunts.
      You are either a male of female. End of.
      Furthermore have a thought about what sort of life the kid will have with a freaky cunt as a parent.
      Fucking, cunting perverts.

    • I’d like to be a fly on the wall when this cunt tries to explain the facts of life to his kid.

    • I knew there’d be more about this peculiar freeloading cunt Birdman,I didn’t read it because am thinking about me blood pressure!

    • Isn’t that physically impossible or did he/she have all the lady parts as well (i.e. hermaphrodite)?

      I read a weird fucking Dean Koontz book in the 80’s where some hermaphrodite man-woman jizzed up her own front bottom at various intervals and cast 4 weirdo kids: a nutter who had 4 nuts but no dick to knock one owt, two creepy telepathic twin girls, and some 1/2 normal bloke who could mysteriously transport himself to some strange planet with crab creatures and rubies lying around all over.

      Nowadays this is just a regular episode of Dr Who.

  12. Fuck children’s t.v.

    A lot of parents just plonk their kid in front of a telly and let them vegetate. Kids today are fat,soft and lazy,in the main,and would be better off getting away from endless tv,phone and computer screens.

    Fair enough a bit of telly,but the obese little sods that seem the norm these days are obsessed with staring at one screen or another constantly. No wonder they all have allergies or made up diseases like ADHD. The weak little fuckers spend too much time goggling at fucking screens.

    • I used to have murderous thoughts watching all them smiley dancing kids singing “there’s somebody at the door, there’s somebody at the door”.

      They are probably the reason I’m a fucking psycho that needs to self medicate.

      PS. Black and White Cunt, no way you are going to win the league . 🙂

      • Good old Grotbags eh Birdman, we are looking well placed I’ve got to say. Only concern is the defence, Klopp has to reinforce because this year is our best chance as both Man U and City and Chelski and even those tight cunts Arsenal will all spend a ton next season to win it. Been too long since the mighty Liverpool won the league. What the fucks going on with Leicester? I think that Mahrez will be off in the. Summer.

        • Talking of self medicating I’m being a lazy cunt today, got a nice bit of mellow weed, time for a film or two and turn the phone off.

          • If mahrez goes, it’ll be for a lot less than what we could have got pre season.
            He’s probably still gobsmacked from winning last seasons title, i am.
            Can you imagine what its like to be a shitty little club and then win a major trophy ?
            Honestly, i still pinch myself.

            Enjoy the weed.

          • I always thought that fat cheating Man City cunt, Francis Lee (Chinese name: Lee Won Pen)
            invented diving in the British game…

    • Emu’s Broadcasting Company was funny… The Emu of the 70s was a psychotic bastard and they took the piss out of the BBC every week…

      Then came the 80s, the pink windmill and all those little cunts…

      • I don’t know if this is right but someone told me years ago that Bill and Ben the Flowerpot men,who were known for saying “ob flob a dob” etc, were actually saying “bloody bugger bum” but speeded up so it wasn’t obvious . They were always going on about Weed as well, the pair of pothead stoner cunts.

  13. I’ve just heard BBC radio 4 giving a list of Ballsack Obummers failures during his eight years playing god.
    Totally took me by surprise, finishing off with “what would the Nobel committee think of him now ?”

    BBC radio 4 FFS.

    • I’m surprised that the ABBC would do a list like that of one of their sacred cows.

      What next, criticizing the Guardian?

  14. I don’t mind our kids watching Ben and Holly’s little kingdom on the nowtv. Plenty of adult humour hidden in there and nanny plum sounds like a dirty bitch.
    The rest is utter pc shit although I’ve heard it’s a cut throat industry for the adults on there, full of bitching and infighting. If you look closely behind the fake smiles it makes it all slightly more bareable 👍

  15. I don’t mind our kids watching Ben and Holly’s little kingdom on the nowtv. Plenty of adult humour hidden in there and nanny plum sounds like a dirty bitch.
    The rest is utter pc shit although I’ve heard it’s a cut throat industry for the adults on there, full of bitching and infighting. If you look closely behind the fake smiles it makes it all slightly more bareable 👍

  16. A bit off piste, but…Can I fuck read any article of news on line because of the constant “freezes” caused by fucking advertising. Waiting several fucking minutes for “Cache” “pubads” and all the other useless fucking shite that makes reading a newspaper a near impossibility! Ive tried adblock ( fucking useless ) and have tried the Daily Mail ( worst offender ) but fuck all! I’m going back to buying a daily paper, at least I can ignore all the toe curling crap adverts for noncy,boring gibberish shite in the advertising, and at the same time I will have something of tangible use when I have finished reading ( arse wipes-and chippy holder ) All advertising that does not portray a decent pair of tits is absolute shite, and all advertising agencies are cock sucking twats and a bunch of cunts!

  17. my kids watch Clarence on Cartoon Network which i thoroughly enjoy
    though Carence is American so he’s a cunt

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