Dale Carnegie

how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people

Alas this is the way of things. The cunts at our gaff go on them and one course is £3,000 a pop (I shit you not), this Dale Carnegie shite where they learn to be more confident about themselves and give them confidence to chair meetings, give talks, speeches, etc.

They come back brimming with confidence and within 5mins I have the cunts in a pool of dribbling mess. What a waste of money!

As a contractor I am exempt from such bullshit but if the cunts were to send me on one I’d have Carnegie himself reaching for the valium & vodka solution within 10mins!

Hey cunts, ever heard of “common sense”? Works for me every time and for whatever shit life throws at me. Maybe you should have gone on the Dale Carnegie course for the hard of understanding, you cunts!

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

12 thoughts on “Dale Carnegie

  1. Perhaps it’s not Dale Carnegie that needs a cunting but the cunts who cough up and go on these “courses”. I thought snake oil salesmen were only in western films. Apparently not.
    I used to have to suffer this sort of bollocks when I was in work. Some cunt would come in to talk to a group of uninterested people who had been press ganged into attending. No cunt took notice although I suspect the speaker didn’t give a fuck as he was trousering a nice fat fee for talking shit.
    Common sense is a dying commodity which doesn’t seem to be regarded by employers these days. They will pay the price ultimately. Cunts.

    • Agree, you can’t teach ‘smart’ or common sense or priorities. If you have employed a cunt, he will always be a cunt.You can dress him,feed him tell him things and he will then be a well dressed ,well fed knowledgeable cunt but he must never be left to make any real decisions because he will fuck you over.
      Not because he wants to but because he cannot stop being a cunt.

  2. Common sense and self reliance are being deliberately removed from the masses during the years spent in government programming centres that are sometimes called schools in common parlance.

    Schools don’t accidently turn out droids, if the government wasn’t getting exactly what it wanted from schools it would raise merry hell until it did.

    The government makes sure it get what it wants from the money it spends, try not giving the government money it says you owe it and it will pursue you to thell and back until it gets what it wants.

    We now have entire generations of people who refuse to think for themselves.

    We are being fucked on purpose.

    • A nation of lobotomised, “progressive” minded, compliant drones, hardwired with a hatred of genuine personal freedom will be so much easier to govern.
      “we don’t need your vote, we’ve got your children…”

  3. During a long career in management I have been sent on every course there is. The ‘management’ ones (as opposed to technical) are utter shite without exception. They do add bullshit buzzwords to the lexicon though which makes for a decent (surreptitious) game of bullshit bingo to while away the hours at yet another pointless meeting.

    • I agree, Cunstable… People are either management material or they’re not and no amount of ‘training’ bullshit will change that…… I recall Tommy Docherty was once told what to do by some stuffy old director cunt while he was manager of Man United… The Doc just looked at the old relic with contempt and said, ‘With all due respect, when I want your advice, I’ll give it to you…’

      • ….. I’ve been on many (technical) courses, Oil field related, and the companies running the courses seem to have brainwashed the big oil companies that these courses need refresher courses … a never ending source of income for these Cunts … and undoubtedly a tax relief for the oil companies.
        Inevitably, those on these courses are reluctant to be there, with the ink hardly being dry on the ‘certificate’ from the last time they were on the same said course ….

        The guy taking the course introduces himself, points out the muster point should there be a fire alarm, cracks a couple of jokes then asks … ‘Any questions ?’ …. to which he inevitably gets a chorus of … ‘What time do we finish ?’

  4. I met three fellas in the pub a few years ago who had been sent on a management training event which was held at an outdoor centre a few miles away. Their firm had paid thousands for them to compete in this challenge which was supposed to teach problem-solving and teamwork. As one of them said to me,they were three middle-aged,unfit office managers and they had no intention of killing themselves building bridges,tackling assault courses and camping out under plastic sheets.
    They’d fucked it off and got a lift to the pub where they booked rooms,ordered dinner and got pissed. Good on them,and I suppose at least they’d learnt to work as a team concocting a tale to tell their boss when they got back home.

  5. I suffer from insomnia, but every course i have been on i have crashed out straight away.
    Don’t know what it is, but put me in a bed and i just TOSS and turn all night , but put me on a course in a shitty little chair and I’m out of it until the sound of every cunt leaving wakes me up.
    It was the same with theory classes in college.
    I don’t know what it is coz i ain’t lazy, but it happens every time…..

    Insomnia is a cunt……….

  6. The cunts who ‘walk over hot coals’ need a cunting. Stupid cunts. Also remember ‘Investors in people’? What a pile of wank but a nice little earner for the savy cunt who came up with it.

    • Cunts who keep banging on about the moon need a cunting also.

      Supermoon my arse….not a cape in sight……

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