BBC Weather Forecasts


BBC Weather deserves a thorough cunting.

Just watched the post 10pm BBC PC Fest weather (formerly known as the news) and in a 3min slot the cunts basically told us the weather we’d already had today for 2mins (which they got wrong yesterday, i.e., no rain but windy where I live when in fact it was pretty still but pissed it down), followed by tomorrow’s guess of “bright but cloudy, dry but with some showers, and calm with the occasional hurricane.”

And to add insult to injury they now want soft cunts to ring/text/tweet/Facebook what the weather is like where they live now. Why? To cross check it against the lies their brand new £100m “Super Computer” states (remember that, the cunts were creaming themselves about that in January and it’s been about as accurate as flipping a coin, or a couple of pine cones ever since) – so they can “update as necessary”!

Bet the purchase order was for a refurbished ZX81 and the top met office brass divvied up the remaining £99,999,990 between themselves.

I wouldn’t let the cunts predict their own birthdays! Cunts!

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

40 thoughts on “BBC Weather Forecasts

  1. I am going to cunt recruitment agency’s

    Firstly when you go on any job search you will find loads of adverts for jobs that don’t actually exist they are “non existent, we are hoping to have a suitable candidate in our portfolio should a client approach us with a job position that needs filling”
    Annoyingly they are also allowed to advertise these “non existent” jobs in the pits of misery we refer too as “job centres”. I had the misfortune to “qualify” for “job club” once, a place where you are herded into a classroom and spoken down too by some space cadet.
    Our space cadet unfortunately bit off a it more than she could chew after lecturing us on the “wealth” of jobs they had to offer and the fact we were not trying. Unfortunately one of the other chaps on detention with me was the former husband of the local Reeds recruitment agency, he put the space cadet right in here place and explained portfolios of agency’s and the fact that as a good 80% of the jobs offered in the centre did not exist, which is actually rather annoying
    Now my second part, I like to believe in internal progression in a business, it encourages staff and gives them hopes and aspirations thinking that one day that they too may get the company car and a decent wage.
    And then comes along the Agency with the perfect qualifications, snips the job and you then start to discover that despite being very affable they are totally unprepared, untrained and actually have very little idea what they are supposed to be doing.
    A manager is their to get people to do their job, not do it for them but the minimum qualification is that they know what the employee should be doing and steer them in the right direction…………….Not try and do it their way and fuck up the whole system!

  2. What gets me is it’s the same cunts who can’t tell us what the weather will do in the next 12 to 24 hours, but are absolutely certain mankind is killing the planet and we’ll all drown in the next 100 years due to the ice caps melting. Funny how the planet had ice ages and heating up periods before the internal combustion engine was invented. But hey, some people need to spend £100m before they realise they are in fact, cunts.

    • It really piise me off all these scientists claiming whatever it’s called today fact . every programme ,news report, advert ,its always the same . never mention it’s their theory ,its “fact” . i like watching archeological and geology programmes and all the evidence is there that the earths climate has always changed naturally,they used to have vineyards in Chester ffs. Again it’s just another thing i have to reeducate my daughter about …..have your theories all you want but don’t get the media and every and i mean every shitty sleb spouting shit ……

      • It is very true that the climate of the earth has changed over time, heating and cooling in a cyclical fashion. The problem is we should be on a cooling part of the cycle at the moment, but we are not, the planet is becoming warmer. Its an anomaly. The greenhouse effect is a scientific fact. Atmospheric CO2 concentrations are closely linked to climate throughout geologic time. It is also a demonstrable fact that CO2 concentrations are increasing at the moment and we know that mankind’s activities over the last 200 years have been responsible for this increase, at least in part. Put all the known facts together and it isn’t difficult to conclude that the current climate oscillation anomaly is man made. But it is still only a theory, but it is a theory which fits the facts. You are welcome to come up with another theory if you wish.

          • Gobal Warming Hoax is a huge load of shite the same governments who are calling for this.

            Are the same cunts who get payed off big bucks to look the other way when companies want to start fracking or dump mercury in a community pond.

            Piss off you Al gore clones! This global warming shit its a money making scheme pure and simple.

  3. Sorry, seeing the weather forecast and Carole Kirkwood’s tits has precluded me from adding anything sensible to this debate other than to fantasise about the weather being scorchio with golden showers later………..

    • Clare Nasir or Lucy Verasamy for me. Tucked up between those two, I wouldn’t give a shit if the New Ice Age struck. Let the future archaeologists work out why I died with a dick worn to a nub,and a tongue 12 inches long.

  4. Couldn’t give two fucks about the weather or the climate.
    More concerned about the imminent war on the streets with the tea towel heads.
    Andy C where d’ya get these revolvers?

  5. Sky news, the cunts who keep on giving. Today we have a twat wondering round the cuntservative cuntfest in Birminhamistan with a fake check for 350 million quid trying to get brexitiers to sign it.

    Apparently the leave camp made a “pledge” to spend 350 million quid a week on the NHS. Like fuck did they! What is wrong with these cunts, are they really morons or are they just being willfully thick?

    It was a sugestion, not a pledge, this is what we COULD do with the money once it was back in the control of a democraticaly elected british government instead of a bunch of unelected cunts in the islamic republic of brussels. What is it that these remoaners don’t get about this quite simple fact? Cunts.

      • They will need 350 Million a week in Birminhamistan alone just to service the cunts over from Islamabad sponging off it.

    • Willful ignorance of the facts is what these remoan cunts are all about. It was perfectly clear at the time and afterwards that it was a suggestion. The leave campaign could not make a pledge as they were not the government.
      These cunts will try anything to try and stop the exit. It’s not going to work you daft cunts so save your breath. You are getting more and more desperate and all for nothing. Fuck off, be quiet and accept the result.

  6. I would like my own personal weather report from Carol. It would go something like: The weather Black and White cunt? I don’t have a fucking clue, now put your knob between my Tits and when you have built up a storm you can shower all over my face. Oh and fuck my Ass when everything has settled.

      • I forgot to mention that she would have to confirm that there was a very small chance of gusts of wind beforehand but then again they usually get the forecast wrong.

        • I hope you’re a squirter B&W because rumour has it that Ms Kirkwood likes her face coated like someone’s dangled a set of basketball laces in front of her face.

          She keeps her eyes open too, she loves a bit of pink eye!

  7. Skiddy,don”t forget deforestation on a global scale is more to blame than man”s pollution………baaaaaaaaaah

    • All part of the same clusterfuck, Ms. Arse. Deforestation has reduced the global capacity to recycle CO2 and thus the concentration of CO2 in the atmosphere increases. In turn this causes acid rain leading to acidification of the seas and the death of phytoplankton, themselves responsible for the recycling of CO2 from the atmosphere. Hence more CO2 again and more greenhouse effect.

  8. Weather reports are cunty enough, what with the weather being cunty as it is, and then they go and remind me how cunty it is while I’m inside, having fucking well forgotten how shit it is outside by drinking a crapload of beer.

    The thing which I fine even more cunty is that cunt Kanye West. Yes, that’s right, the talentless git whose only saving grace is that when his cunt of a girlfriend (or wife or whatever she is) got robbed at least he stopped ‘performing’ the cunty drivel he calls music. What a fucking cunt.

  9. I regret that sexual banter about Ms Kirkwood has besmirched this fine gentlemans’ forum but since we are on the subject I would like to shaft that until she squealed like a piggy.
    I have nothing but ordure for those overpaid tosspots in the weather services that have the bollocks to TELL us what will happen instead of saying that this or that is most likely. .
    They do not know and employing women who are eminently suited to service my mortadella does not make their predictions any more believable.
    In other words , cunts.

  10. I can’t hold it any longer…
    I’m cunting black American culture.
    I have to.

    I have spent the last 24 hours trying to figure out why:
    Kim kardashian got robbed in Paris.
    Which is good.
    Kim then got a private jet back to nyc and had a 12 strong armoured limousine motorcade whisk her to the penthouse at the plaza.
    Where she was guarded by 125 armed guards.
    The motorcade was given a clear run by the New York police dept who stopped traffic for her.
    I can understand the mega cunt renting the cars but for the police to go along with the lunacy?!!

    Has no one realised she isn’t Jackie Kennedy?!

    What they are-
    The black royalty of America.
    Simple as.
    And under Obama., black royalty, IS royalty.
    They worship money and conspicuous wealth, regardless of whether the money comes from anything constructive or meaningful.

    It isn’t just Americans, as I have lots of American friends who can’t understand it.

    All those sisters get together with sports and rapper blacks.
    For blacks, having hot white women is the ultimate.

    That makes them royalty.
    The govt and media fall in behind in an effort to please the useless cunts.

  11. How come none of these famous sisters is BLACK black (Venus sisters excluded ) ? ,they always seem to be cocoa coloured as if there is some cast system . Could it be that the famous black man is racist against BLACK black bints.? . all you seem to see is Black and White (cunt) bints….

    • Venus sisters ? , meant the Williams sisters . i don’t which one ,but one of them would get it…

    • Yes
      There is always a cast system with any kind of ethnic.
      Whiter is better for them.

  12. The BBC has millions of pounds worth of equipment to help them forecast the weather, but what good does it do them? Try looking at their five-day forecast. Over the following four days, the forecast alters every single day. Happens every time.
    I could say that it’ll be cold wet and windy every day, and on average my forecast would be more accurate than theirs.

  13. Weather is becoming more chaotic because the climate is changing. Everywhere I go in the world I hear the same thing; freaky weather is becoming more common.

    • The world is getting smaller due to air travel, internet, and cameras everywhere so maybe we just see more of the earths NATURAL tragedies.
      If the tsunami had happened years earlier not a lot of cunts would have filmed it ….

    • Not bad, Norman, but I’d like the tits to be a bit bigger. Still, any port in a storm and all that….

  14. There is a reason most female weather presenters are hot…

    It’s because they couldn’t predict the weather if they looked out of the window.

  15. BBC News – as we know – are complete cunts…
    Going with the love migrants and believe Kardashian was actually robbed card… Get to fucking fuck with your bullshit, you cunts…

  16. And those ‘disabled’ Maltesers ads need cunting…

    They irritate the damn shite out of me, truth be told… And they haven’t been made because they are good actors or to even promote the product… These adverts have been done in the name of ‘diversity’ ‘political correctness’ and because (the cunts think) it is ‘the right thing to do…’ It’s fucking chocolate for fuck’s sake! Why the frig should their be ‘diversity’ when advertising bloody sweeties? Jesus Horatio Hornblower Christ….. What the fuck is next? ‘A mong a day helps you work rest and play’?….

    • Fucking Milky Bars will be given the ‘Jon Holmes’ treatment because they’re white next…. And what price Polo Mints being blacked up?…..

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