Dead Pool [41]

shimonperes

Congratulations to King Cunt! who picked one of our favourite perennial coffin-dodgers Shimon Perez

So we wipe the slate and move on to Dead Pool 41…

A reminder of the rules (especially the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

To completely unfairly put the boot in to Dioclese who is currently on holiday, TheEye is going to blatantly steal his famous five :
Herman Wouk, Kirk Douglas, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Olivia de Havilland, Billy Graham

So nominations are now open. Off you go and good luck

Electric Cars

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Electric cars are a scam to avoid road tax, and are fuck all use for anything else apart from making the cunts who own them feel smug.

There is nothing more guaranteed to piss me off than being stuck behind some cunting piece of shit shopping car with “zero emissions” written on the back. Zero emissions my arse; where do you think the leccy comes from you cunts? Just because the fucking car doesn’t have an exhaust pipe, do people really think the fucking power stations don’t either? Cunts.

Just for good measure they put the charging stations in the closest parking bays to the shops just so I have to walk past the cunts. At least have the decency to put the charging points where they belong: In a corner of the car park that reeks of piss and has a long walk (hopefully in the rain) to the shops.

Nominated by: Cuntypops

Invisible Walkman

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I wish to cunt the “invisible walkman”

The invisible walkman is a condition that effects many cunts, they normally have an upright stance an a bemused expression on their face as they go through day to day life totally oblivious to their surroundings.

Prime example one of my neighbours who came home last night and reverse parked accross the back of my car which is in a parking space.

This is going to involve me having to pay them a visit and ask the embarrassed hubby to move the abandoned vehicle much to which he will comply yet again, and apologise.

Where as it would be a lot simpler to slap her round the head with a cricket bat and shout “wake up!”

Sad, but she is not the only one, I find them standing in shop doors looking inwards blocking the entrance, stationary in front of supermarket shelves, driving at you on the wrong side of the road and its not just women.

What is going on?

Nominated by: Lord Benny

Katie Derham

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Katie Derham is a cunt.

Once upon a time she used to be an innocuous presenter on Classic FM. She was then recruited by the cunts at the BBC to present the Proms, amongst other “highbrow” programs (none of which spring to mind). Thereafter it was downhill all the way. She was then made a “Star” by joining

Strictly Cunt Dancing (with Carol Cuntwood, Susannah Cunt, Anita pakiCunt and Naga Cuntchetty, to name a few). All these BBC Luvme cunts are now convinced they are “Stars”, but they are merely a bunch of cunts.

For the doleful performance on the Proms last night, Katie, and all your BBC cunting about before that, you are hereby awarded the title of “BBC luvme Cunt”

Nominated by: Big Al