Dead Pool [39]

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Congratulations to frst time winner, JR Cuntley, for correctly forecasting the demise of young Frankenstein and Willy Wonker – Gene Wilder.

So we wipe the slate and move on to Dead Pool 39…

A reminder of the rules (especially the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

I’ve received a couple of emails and some comments at my place informing me that the site was down earlier this evening and you couldn’t post. This seems to have been resolved.

In the meantime the following nominations were received by email and other psychic means (all as last time around) :

Dioclese (me!) :
Herman Wouk, Kirk Douglas, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Olivia de Havilland, Billy Graham

Fred West :
Clive James, Denis Norden, Leslie Phillips, John Hurt, Liz Smith

Sir Limply Stoke :
Ken Dodd, Robert Mugabe, Doris Day, Giscard d’Estaing, Brunhilde Pomsel

So nominations are now open. Off you go and good luck

Fleas

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Delights orf a little heatwave in rural England. Time for the fucking fleas to hatch oit and swarm up a chap’s troisser legs and this year brave hearts they are enormous and in quantities prodigeous. A few fleas usually never bother Yours Truly but the other night as the girl was giving me me good night kiss she complained aboit fleas in me foreskin. Suckus interruptus.

Mind you she has a point. The buggers do seem larger than ever and thriving orn most known poisons. Walking acrorss me land I get accustomed to armies orf ’em running up and doine the crack orf me arse but the tender sensibilities orf the fairer sex…There was a time when all I needed to sweep a filly orf her feet was a dab orf Aramis. Now all I can look forward to is a spot orf sheep dip and bed.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Nicola Sturgeon [9]

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I’m allergic to a certain Scotish politician. I would name her but even typing out her name brings me out in a nasty rash. Seeing her bulldog liking piss off a nettle face makes me projectile vomit and even short exposure to her whine of a voice could put me in a comma. I’m only greatfull I’m unlikely to have to smell it as that would mean instant death.

Sky news need to be cunted on two counts. Firstly for giving the poisonous little cunt so much coverage. Anyone would think it is an influential world figure, it is not! It actually represents fewer people than the mayor of London. Secondly they need to warn viewers when they are going to show it onscreen like they do when there is something potentially upsetting or flash photgraphy. This is a serious medical condition and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has to struggle through life under such a burden.

Nominated by: Skidmark Eggfart

Angelina Jolie [2]

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Angelina Jolie is a real cunt. Ambassador of the UN my arse – she keeps buying these african babies so she can say how holy she is for having moral fibre .

Its phoney celebrity cunts like this I can’t stand. I just really hate people like her, and Brangelina (godzilla hybrid maybe?) saying they aren’t going marry until gay marriage is legalised. Fuck off Jolie you dumb attention whore! No-one cares.

Nominated by: Titslapper