Angela Eagle [3]

angela-eagle-labour-party

Fuck me what a day for British Politics. Well it is the 13th. Lucky for some.

Corbyn is unelectable so what should poor old Labour do? Well, the Eagle has landed. Here comes Angela riding to the rescue on her white charger.

So why is Angela standing for Labour leader? Well, according to her it’s because Labour is the party of equality and the Tories have just elected their second female PM, so she reckons Labour must have a woman in the top job. Straight talking, that’s our Angela…

Except that’s an oxymoron for our Ang. Straight talking from a rug muncher? Shurely not!

Yep, that’s definitely what Labour needs – a gay woman in the top job. Should bring in a few LGBT votes not to mention the odd brick through a window or two.

Calm down, dear – then fuck off!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Theresa May [3]

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So they’re changing the guard at Buckingham Palace as one cunt leaves and dear old Queenie swears in a new one.

Lots of cunt shuffling going on later as the new cunt moves all the old cunts about a bit. Got to look like we’re actually doing something. Brexit means Brexit-lite and all that. Appearances are everything and appearances can be deceptive.

What to do with the Brexiteer bastards? What to do with toxic Osborne? What the fuck to do full stop…

Saint Theresa the saviour of the party has arrived. We will unite behind her or she’ll chop our bollocks off. The new iron lady is in number 10.

Out with the old cunt, in with the new cunt. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Gawd help us!

There’s something of the night about her…

Nominated by: Dioclese

David Cameron [20]

David Cameron's last cabinet meeting

So the man with a van is in and Cameron fucks orf for the last time today.

Traditional to play the white man at times like this and wish him well after his six years orf stewardship orf dear Old Blighty. Indeed some Tory creatures are blubbing a few crocodile tears for “his great contribution” ect ect. Not yours truly. Always sniffed a smell orf fish aboit the man which as we married men know is a sure sign orf a cunt. Talking orf fish, Theresa May has the whiff orf a bum boat in Grimsby.

So what has Cave in Dave achieved? Bottled it against his mates the bankers, lorst a bollock in the jocko referendum, lorst the other one in the EU “renegotiation” and taken it up the arse in the EU Referendum. Stirring stuff what? Nice plum job waiting in the EU, Dave?

On the subject orf the “Quiet Word” have delivered it a goodly few times in me career and received it once so know orf what I speak. Bugger me, has been positively deafening over the last few weeks. Boris Johnson, Gove, Leadsom, Corbyn (but the old trot is too deaf to hear). Blood an’ gonads all over the shop.

Much talk orf a “new politics” arising from the carnage. End orf the two party system, end orf Labour, end orf Tories (certainly end orf pathetic LibDem tossers) ect ect. Time for a new party, time to strike, time to have a Quiet Word. Vote for Dioclese and get a real cunt in Parliament. Rally behind the stone faced one. Support and vote CUNT (Citizens Under No Tyranny).

Fuck orf “Call me Cunt” Cameron!

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Matthew Syed

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Matthew Syed is a boring, opinionated cunt. Simple. Famous for being the best table-tennis player in Britain?! What the fuck is that all about? Does not deserve to act all intellectual and preachy.

Fuck off Matt, you look like an uglier version of The Kurgan from Highlander.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto