American history

Washington crossing Delaware

According to Tom Hanks of Saving Ryan’s Privates fame, “There were only the Americans at Normandy” Of course they were AFTER so many got bloody massacred including my great great uncle. The Wanks arrived After the massacre to plop their flag in the sand fucking bellends.

When americunts get involved in a war they automatically get all the thanks and rewards even though they fuck everything up. Americunts are braggy little cunts claiming they did all the work when in reality they had a small part,they exaggerate like madmen.

Nominated by: TitSlapper

Ever read “Made in America” by Bill Bryson? Debunks every fucking claim the Americans ever made about their history and how great they are.

Classic example : Went to Boston where Paul Revere made his famous ride. Only he didn’t because he made it about a mile before being caught and his two companions did the actual ride. They weren’t rich and influential. Guess who got the credit.

When the Brits were sighted they raised two brass lanterns in the tower of the old North Church. I actually saw one of them in a museum. Shame the tower they were hauled up in wasn’t built until two years later.

Yep, the Yanks are full of bullshit and fond of blowing their own trumpet. The Ministry of Truth is alive and well and living in Washington DC. Bunch of overstuffed cunts!

Nominated by: Dioclese

11 thoughts on “American history

  1. Eddie Izzard is a cunt he also claims to be transgender but he’s transvestite. He doesn’t have boobs just likes wearing womens clothes. Izzard is a unfunny gift to the Brexit crowd, rightfully so with his stupid pink beret and red lipstick routine.

    If Remain really wanted a bigtime comedian to persuade the masses. Then they should have persuaded someone like Michael MacIntyre. The masses like him, he sells out O2 and his comedy is bland enough not to offend anybody. Play it safe, isn’t that after all Remains main message?

    (After looking at Izzard’s horrible pink beret and fugly mug I think some proper eye bleach is in order). Here is Kate Bush in a revealing leotard or unitard? its some type of tard alright! and probably the closest you’ll get to a seminude of her besides those horrible photoshops. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UGd58t3oIrI/Tr62r5dwIII/AAAAAAAAApk/SOlQU8AOs7Y/s1600/kate_bush_leotard.jpg

  2. The failure of the yanks, or the reason for their massive casualties was quite simply their refusal to use the specialised armour developed by the British and offered to them, a lot of time and thought was put into the development of machines that could tackle the obsticles and bunkers lined up against us, but no they just chose to throw waves of meat agaist reinforced concrete! dick heads!

  3. Americans are liars as far as history is concerned and inventions too, they literally believe they invented everything in the world.

    Its like columbus’s claim that he discovered america first when in reality native americans and a bunch of european explorers already discovered it numerous times before him. Obviously natives discovered it first but plop a flag and it somehow it authenticates the discovery.

    • Sure I read somewhere that a bunch of Vikings found the place first but couldn’t be arsed sticking around.

      • You know its horrible how vikings are stereotyped.

        In every show or film I watched vikings were always portrayed as violent stupid and heartless rape pillaging brutes.

        When in reality they were no where near that bad not even close
        #StopViking Stereotypes
        Your right though they just went there for a hunting trip

        • If you can find it online or on disc there is an old film called The Norsemen starring none other than Lee “Six Million Dollar Man” Majors which has a Longboat-load of Vikings finding America and fighting it out with the Native Americans. Typical 1970s cheese but does portray the Norsemen as fairly noble and intrepid. I saw it as a kid and enjoyed it.

  4. When they get too uppity I like to remind them of the War of 1812, not as the septics claim “the Second War of Independence”, but their attempted land grab of Canada in which they got seven shades of &%$t beaten out of them. A couple of easy victories at sea at first (when we Brits still could not believe they were so stupid as to start a war) and a legend is born. By the way, how many ships in the US navy have been called “President” other than the one we captured and whose namesake is a stone frigate on the Thames? Very flammable place El Presidente’s gaff as well, could go up at the drop of a match, know what we mean Mr Septic?

  5. Americans, thought they gained independence in 1776 – hahahaha, the only thing that changed was they went from overt military control to covert democratic control.
    That’s why democracy has been exported to every country in the British Empire and the US and seemingly now the middle east, is it just a few countries who do not have democracy? North Korea etc.

    Americans are so fucking dumb, they believe all that patriotic bullshit, worship Franklin & Washington, do some research on them, they were not colonists, they were royalists

  6. History is written by the victor, history can be a powerful tool for propaganda, some history is beyond question. Never believe anything just because it is “HISTORY”.

  7. Problem for the yanks is they have very little real history and what they do have is mostly fantasy. Had occasion to visit Santa Barbara and was told must visit Solvang, real historical Danish village. Fuck all else to do except look at the dying palm trees so motored oit there. Got there to find loads orf tour buses and nippo tourists gawping at some sort orf Danish Disneyland. Like LegoLand withoit the joints.
    This passes for History in yankland. Looked the cunt hole up later and found it was founded in 1911. Bugger me, me lawn mower is older than that. Also made the mistake orf eating there. Everything was super yank sweet – the cawfee, cakes – had even put sugar all over the salad. Refused to pay for the shite. Told them in no uncertain terms that that was why they were all so fucking fat. At least enjoyed the last five minutes orf me visit.

    • wow-I wont bother visiting America then-you have reported it like a brit would -on telly they never say that sort of stuff do they?it has never appealed to me and I already knew half of their history is fantasy – but now the rest of it sounds really crap also .
      were there anything good things about the good ol u.s. of a ?

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