Prince’s death

2033

I saw some Sky News in the Pub last night, from 7pm-8pm, the whole hour was arse-licking and mourning for fucking Prince’s Death with the headline “breaking news” and the same clips, tweets and VT’s recycled over and over again.

I turn on the TV this morning, flick on to Sky news to be greeted with the same “breaking news” headline and same fucking bullshit.

Prince was a cunt and now he’s a dead cunt.

But instead of reporting news they tear the arse out of this story for over 16 hours. FUCK OFF.
God help us when the Queen finally dies, I think the BBC will just put up a testcard with a picture of the Queen and the National Anthem for 6 months solid on BBC1, BBC2, BBC4, BBC News & the Red Button.

So Prince is dead, fine report it now fucking move-on you grief jacking, lazy fucking sad excuse for journalist cunts!

Nominated by: Boaby

And now we’ll see nothing but Prince albums, remixes, compilations, out takes and fuck know what else dominating the charts for the next month. Just like the Bowie cunt only much, much worse ‘cos he’s a yank.

Seriously thinking of faking my own death just to push my sales up on iTunes!

Nominated by: Chas C

23 thoughts on “Prince’s death

  1. When I read a few days ago about someone not being a very well Prince, I had hoped that Camillah’s human tampon was about to be finally flushed away. Oh well…

    Devon & Cornwall Ploddery deserve kardashicunting for even trying to meddle in somebody’s self-Exit. If only in the name of common sense and human decency (sadly in alarmingly short supply), can’t we just depart in our own sweet way?

    • Sorry HH you can’t have your own sweet way; you are an asset on the United Kingdom Limited ( Company Nº: 03778332 ) balance sheet and as such you have no say in the matter, that’s why they can take your kids, as they can take your car………..etc. Welcome to the Orwellian dystopian ‘society’ where there’s no place for human decency.

      • I’m an asset!! Oh, my, I’m glad to hear it!! Nicest thing anyone’s said to me all day, apart from the woman on the till at Iceland calling me “darling”. At least she didn’t do it in a Joanna Plastic-Bumley accent…

  2. In the great scheme of things: Who gives a fuck? One porch monkey more or less makes no difference to me.

    Everything is a cunt today.

  3. “Seriously thinking of faking my own death just to push my sales up on iTunes!” Not a bad idea actually once a musician is dead sales always increase even if slightly, you know the saying more famous dead then alive.

  4. “The Artist that was formally known as Prince” Remember all that bollocks? The grovelling media fuck frenzy about his continuing reinvention. Well he has done it again. Now he has transformed once more into “The Artist that was formally known as a Live Cunt”.
    What will he turn up as next?

  5. Don’t think faking your own death would do it for you Chas. Go for the truth my boy. Top yourself on a live video link to your website. Unrobed. Edgy. Still don’t think it will get you any extra sales but I am sure Dioclese would give you a fond valedictory few lines orn this august blog. Remind us who you were ect ect.

  6. Didn’t mind the little fella, wasn’t a media slut like most of the no talent shiteaters that pass for “artists” these days. Coverage though has been annoying, especially when they kept referring to the little cunt as a celebrity, when we all know that this word has been downgraded to apply to any old wankstain. Shame the headlines weren’t for one of my dead pool candidates instead.

      • Reputedly one of the horniest individuals ever to walk the earth. Jammy little cunt…

        • A poof masquerading as a serial womaniser . Oldest trick in the showbiz book.

    • I’m with you, Gutstick. I’m not much of a fan, but he was incredibly talented. Could sing, write, play and produce. Not a bad skill set. It’s a great shame that the lad won’t get to enjoy the fruits of his labours into old age. Such a waste for someone so gifted.

      Fred had it spot on. The world loses Prince but fucking Bonio continues to live and prosper. Conclusive evidence, if any were needed, that there is no god. If there is then it’s a cunt.

  7. The truth is a little cheesy.

    Prince is 5’2″ tall (drug/booze baby?) and has always worn high-heel boots on stage to try to appear less dwarfish. Unfortunately dancing around wildly in high-heels fucked up his hips to such an extent that a double hip replacement was urgently recommended in 2005.

    Unfortunately double plus, Prince became a Jehovah Witness in early 2004 and blood transfusions are not allowed.

    Without the operation the pain increased and little Prince took to using the anaesthetic Propofol (IV) to sleep (the shit that killed Jacko) and heroin during the day (suppository), to ease the pain.

    So it’s all a bit sordid – fucked-up hips because of vanity + loony religion because of gullibility + heavy drugs = death in an elevator.

    • Funny cause I found no mention of Prince using propofol or heroin, You talking outta your ass mate? but prince did take percocet a minor opioid doubt that killed him though. I mean I doubt he’s even dead, don’t worry I’m sure Spivey will sort this out soon enough .

      Personally I couldn’t really give a shite though always disliked Prince’s music anyway. Aside from maybe a song or two from the batman soundtrack. He has a large discography but its mostly shite sex songs and funk

      • Prince’s music was stuck in the 1980’s he never really developed his sound in the way that say Bowie did. His ‘sexuality’ was cringe worthy. I always thought he looked a right wanker and Im not going to change my mind because he’s dead. Oh and fuck you Obama.

        • “Prince’s music was stuck in the 1980’s he never really developed his sound in the way that say Bowie did.”

          Hmm funny you say that, cause I find so many similarities with Prince and Bowie its unbelievably striking. I think of Prince as a black bowie but obviously more funk/r n’b inspired.
          Lets see they both pushed that whole gender bender thing, they are both bi-sexual which baffles me on Prince’s end because he’s a jehovah’s witness(creepy christian sect). Both had decent songs but uneven albums, both had failed marriages.

          Both had multiple persona’s (eg Ziggy Stardust and Thin White Duke, Camille and Joey Coco. Both were also business savy as fuck some would even argue they were better businessmen then musicians just a thought. Also Prince talked about sex like way too much and purple rain sounds like a gay shirtlifting anthem

          • Its a cunts World I have mutiple persona’s and all I get is fucking sectioned. Something stinks. Bowie and Prince good business persons. Obama is a cunt.

    • Death in an elevator. I feel a tune coming on. Yep yep got it and maybe Aerosmith could record it.

    • Nice one, I think that was banned for years so I’m glad to see it again.

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