“Phone in” radio

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Radio phone-ins should be cunted. It’s the cheapest form of radio to make and there’s no quality control at all – so long as the time is filled with the worthless opinions of cunts, everyone’s happy.

Many years ago, a friend and I used to regularly phone in to these shows to make mischief, knowing that there was little doubt that we would be put through to the presenter live on air. I once hijacked almost an entire show on the subject of ‘Nostalgia’ by phoning in and claiming to be one of the actors who had been inside the Bungle costume on the children’s TV show ‘Rainbow’.

The idiot local radio presenter cunt couldn’t get enough of my fabricated stories: “Wasn’t it hot inside the costume?” he asked. Yes, I said, that’s why I rarely wore anything but a tiny pair of red Speedos underneath. “You could never see the join or the zips in the costume,” he said. I know, I replied, there had been complaints from parents that the early costume looked like a crappy fancy dress outfit, so I was actually sewn into the later costumes. This made loo breaks impossible, I continued, so they fitted me with the same kind of ‘bottle’ that astronauts use. So next time you see old re-runs of ‘Rainbow’, just imagine Bungle with a bottle of warm urine strapped to his inside leg…

But my friend topped this by getting through to Jeremy Vine. The subject of the show was something like ‘Confessions’ and my friend called in saying that he’d been stealing coats and jackets out of pubs – two a week for almost ten years – and was unable to help himself. Vine expressed concern and actually invited him back the following week to speak to a psychiatric counsellor where my friend gladly elaborated the story: when he had first moved to London, he’d had his own rather expensive jacket stolen from a pub, so he assumed his compulsion must be a kind of revenge stealing. “Do you actually want to stop?” asked the counsellor in hushed tones. “Of course I do,” said my friend, “I keep them all in a lock-up and the rent is crippling me…”

There’s an amusing postscript to the Jeremy Vine hoax. About eighteen months later, a so-called ‘conceptual artist’ (translation: cunt) by the name of Mike Ballard announced his next ‘exhibition’ – a gallery space hung with jackets and coats he claimed to have been stealing out of pubs for almost ten years (“two a week… in revenge for having my own jacket stolen from a pub when I first moved to London”). In reality it was clear that the lazy cunt had simply heard my friend hoax Jeremy Vine and then thought he’d just pinch the idea for a bit of conceptual art – which just serves to demonstrate what indolent, work-shy cunts modern artists are. He was probably pissing away his grant and decided to nick someone else’s idea off the radio at the last minute because it was easier than having to think up something original.

Nominated by: Fred West

Ken Livingstone [4]

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It’s hard to think of a more offensive, repulsive, evil creature that inhabits British politics than that newt molesting tub of donkey semen Ken Livingstone. Actually, it’s impossible. Even Galloway seems like a saint, which just shows how utterly unworthy of the gift of life Livingstone is. After losing the Mayoral election to Boris, Livingstone announced his retirement from politics. We should have known that would be a lie, because not long after Corbyn became party leader he gave his good mate a prominent shadow defence role. Considering Livingstone’s love of the IRA, utter hatred of the UK, especially the British armed forces, it’s quite insulting.

And over the past 48 hours, Livingstone has once again shown the world why he is unfit to do anything but clean the walls of a sewer. This time, he tried to defend Nazi Naz Shah after her own, despicable, anti-Semitic comments on social media. Livingstone even went as far as to make the bizarre claim that Hitler was a Zionist before the holocaust. No he wasn’t. It’s true that the Nazi’s were deporting Jews before they decided to commit mass murder. But Hitler never had any intention of helping Jews to create the nation they had dreamed of for so long. He wanted them out of Germany because he fucking despised them, and blamed them for all of Germany’s problems.

Today, we have numerous Labour MP’s criticising Corbyn for acting too slowly, and demanding that Shah and Livingstone be kicked out of the party. The reason that Corbyn acted so slowly, is because he thought they could just ride out the anger. He was wrong. As I said in a previous post, there has been a distinct rise in anti-Semitism since Corbyn became leader. I don’t know if Corbyn himself is an anti-Semite, but his reluctance to act against those who are, suggests that he does condone it. His reluctance is understandable in Livingstone’s case, because their close friendship goes back at least to the early 80’s, with McDonnell included in that.

They’re all cut from the same cloth. Anti British, Pro IRA, Pro Hamas/Hezbollah, Anti nuke, and certainly in Livingstone’s case, Anti Semitic. It says a lot about Corbyn’s Labour that instead of criticising Shah and Livingstone for their disgraceful comments, the Chief Whip instead chose to criticise Labour MP John Mann, for daring to confront Livingstone over his views. Mann has been consistent in confronting Livingstone over his anti Jewish views (which kind of makes me wonder why’s he a Labour MP). The same cannot be said of the MP’s now criticising Corbyn for not acting quickly enough. They’ve all been very quiet during Livingstone’s past excursions into the realms of Jew hating, such as when he compared a Jewish journalist to a Nazi concentration camp guard. So are why are they getting noisy now? Surely it’s nothing to do with the local elections next Thursday?

Anyway, back to Livingstone. He should be kicked out of the Labour party once and for all. He’s a smug, arrogant, nasal voiced little cunt, with a perpetual smirk on his face, who is evil to the core. Give it a couple of months, and Livingstone will be back in the fold. All sins forgiven as far Corbyn’s Labour is concerned. Whether he makes an apology is questionable. I doubt that he will. He’s always refused to apologise for disgraceful comments in the past, so I think we can assume that none will be forthcoming for his latest scandal. It would be pretty pointless anyway, because we all know that, like Livingstone himself, it would be meaningless.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Holly Brockwell

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Holly Brockwell deserves an almighty cunting.

Who? you may be asking, well this stupid cunt is on TV right now moaning because at the age of 30 her doctor won’t grant her a sterilization operation.
GOOD!

Why the fuck should we (well the NHS) fund this cunts surgery?

Ever heard of taking responsibility for your own actions you stupid cunt?

If you don’t want kids then don’t get pregnant, it really is that fucking simple, there is this thing called the Pill, also condoms, coils and even not letting your boyfriend shoot his muck inside you.
Jesus fucking Christ, if she does get this operation then what happens in 15 years time when she realises she now wants kids.

Another NHS operation to undo the sterilization by reconnecting the Falopian tubes? (and yes, it is possible)

Talk about a fucking narcissistic, self-absorbed, wants to get on TV and gain exposure, irresponsible, Grade A – CUNT

Nominated by: Boaby