Ellie Goulding

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Ellie Goulding is a cunt…

Apparently this poor love is so overworked that she (in her own words) can’t find the time to have something to eat… I am sure that there are those in full time and totally knackering jobs who feel so sorry for her… Everyone else seems to manage it, so what makes this silly cow so different? My old man worked 12 hour shifts fixing lorries, but he still got his dinner…

But one musn’t be nasty, must we? The poor petal mustn’t despair, because I’ve thought of a solution to her terrible starvation problem…. Elllie can spend less time squawking tuneless crap, posing for pictures like a trollop, and talking shit… Then she might find the time to learn how to use a sandwich toaster…. Simple, really….

Nominated by: Norman

37 thoughts on “Ellie Goulding

  1. Another rich celebrity blubbing about how hard life is for them…. my heart bleeds purple piss. She’s clearly got plenty of time to go on Twatter and bleat to everyone. Pathetic.

  2. well said nickleby,im so sick of these talentless, air head,song and lyric copying cunts spouting any bollocks to try and get their mollycoddled face on the paper and try to keep people interested in them…..the anti cunt sniper is required again

  3. Sport Relief is ripe for a good cunting..

    Yet another BBC license fee payer charity telethon in which the over-paid ‘stars’ of TV are wheeled out to walk, run, swim, cycle, row, or whatever all for an extortionate fee to dupe the very license payers who fund this crap to ‘give to charity’. (they do say charity begins at home) – cunts.

    Lets not forget half of the money raised sits dormant in accounts for years, and a good percentage goes to the companies who provide the text donation services.
    Even though they state ‘100% of your donation goes to Sport Relief’ they sneakily omit to tell you that a certain percentage goes towards the ‘running costs’.
    100% of your donation goes to Sport Relief, but we will subtract 10% for administration purposes.

    What a fucking load of shit, the only ‘relief’ I am interested in is oral or hand.

    • And they’ve got Michael Crawford doddering around as a 74 year old Frank Spencer with that Bradley Wiggins cunt… That’s worse than the Del Boy meets Beckham shite they did… I wonder which well past it comedy star and sporting cunt they will use next year? A decrepit Basil Fawlty with Lionel Messi as Manuel? ‘I know notheeng… I am from Barcelona…’

      • Ha ha, Nice one Norman!
        You can bet your bottom dollar it won’t be Paul Daniels wheeled out next year, unless they do an illusion where they saw his coffin in half 😀

  4. Fucki hate this shit zeleb ego trip each year,if any cunt waves a bucket at me today I shall bite their fucking nose off,watched fatty john sergent lookalike last night jo brand cos of east yorkshire stuff but soon as the chugging came on with a spearchucker with a dish on her head i turned off plus that dreadful smackhead fame junkie davina mccall was grinning her minge off,gabby tax dodger logan was also flashing her piss flaps off in tight trackies,Lee Mack was ok and fair play to Brand for a tough challenge,I think she is one of the few genuine ones…..

    • Here we go again. Rich cunts asking poor cunts to dig deep once again.
      I’ve given up giving. Not to all, but all of the tv cuntathons. Wicked witch of the west face Davina and fat moose Jo Bland won’t persuade me otherwise.
      Wether these cunts are on wages for this I don’t know but the expenses and networking make it a viable option to get their boat on the screen and look concerned.
      Most charities are fucking imposters.
      Fine tuning the art of masquerading.
      Check out the salaries of some charities board members, you won’t fucking believe it.
      Simple business model, find some near rent free high st property, get your stock for nothing, chuck in some free labour. Six figure salary. Wish I’d thought of it.

  5. Ooh Ellie Goulding, Would seriously consider sticking my tongue up her asshole.

    • Anyone who is brave enough check out bestgore.com for some truly shocking real life videos. Looked at it now and again, some things are hard to get out of my head. You have been warned.

      • Sharing a web page with some cunters, whats wrong with that? Don’t call me a sick fucker either. Why do people say things online they wouldn’t to someones face eh. Say that to my face and I would….

      • Vermin Cunt Spotter you sound like a tough cunt. Don’t let me catch you in London or Bristol cunt. Now fuck off.

      • Have seen too many gory deaths for real mate, dont really see why someone should entertain themselves with watching this from the comfort if an armchair and then crow about it online. Pretty pathetic if you ask me.

      • Fair enough Vermin Cunt Spotter, I don’t actually watch it a lot. Some of it is disturbing and if you watched it too much it would fuck your head up. I have watched bits about Syria etc and its unusual for a website to show the real graphic goings on. Anyways lets get on with naming the cunts, plenty of them about.

      • My brother got a pretty messy death when he was hit by a car… That’s probably why it’s not really my thing…

      • Sorry to hear that Norman, its not really my cup of tea either. Its that curios weird not wanting to watch something but watch it anyways.

    • But obviously not seconds after that photo was taken.
      Looks like she’s just dropped one.
      Gotta be a bad one if you can’t take your own.

      • Ooh Ellie Goulding, Would seriously consider sticking my tongue up her asshole.

  6. Can’t find time to eat but she’s found time for a tit job and lip enhancement and she still looks crap.

    • Maybe she just too busy sucking all that cock. Perhaps that is her main source of protien, as it is surely how she closes each recording contract.

  7. Goulding is an inconsequential cunt. Her music has no merit whatsoever being completely and utterly inconsequential. No one can remember a single song of hers its that fucking unremarkable. Just another posh bird with connections.

  8. Yes but raaarhly gentleman. Simple solution to the filly’s nutritional dilemma. A nice tablespoon orf warm sperm for brekkers, tea and suppah followed by two up the arse at night will give her her five a day.

  9. The Sir Limpy Stoke diet-plan, sure beats weight-watchers and guaranteed results.
    With weight-watchers the only weight you loose is the £8 a week from your bank account

  10. Maybe I wouldn’t mind giving her one…she looked pretty hot on the front of some mag the other day, wearing a trenchcoat (if indeed it was her…). However, after a bottle of supermarket red plonk, reduced-price pate (possibly past its best), and a few glasses of cherry brandy..oh christ, i think I’ve shat meself…

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