27 thoughts on “Nicolas Cage

  1. Nicholas Cage’s “Stolen” “National Treasure” is “Gone in 60 Seconds” as he hands it back to Mongolia. The star denied any skullduggery…

    • He was Wild at Heart when he bought it and now feels like an Outcast and says he wishes it was Left Behind! The whole incident has left him in a Rage and Seeking Vengeance to Kick Ass and now he even tends to Drive Angry, his final word on the matter is if it could happen to him It Could Happen to You!

      • Nice nicholas cage film in words homage, Wild at heart is my favorite nicholas cage movie even weirder then blue velvet but blue velvet had better one liners.
        “lets hit the fucking road” “One thing I can’t fucking stand is warm beer, makes me fucking puke”, “Suave, man. You’re so fuckin’ suave. [punches Jeffrey in the face, forcing him to toast Ben” “Be polite!” Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

        • Not technically a one-liner but this scene from Wild at Heart is quite memorable
          “What are you fuckin’ faggots lookin’ at?” to a gang of scumbags.
          5 or 10 minutes later when he wakes up after they’ve beat the shit out him.
          “I’d like to apologise to you gentlemen for referring to you as homosexuals”.

          • That was priceless line your right it actually did have some tasty quotes. Great character development and story in that film everyone did a splendid job of acting the crazy run away daughter , the psychotic mother, the hitman , william dafoes character as a porn director of the fattest women in texas and scumbag, the voodoo queen, police chief it was actually more thrilling and entertaining then blue velve but they are both great movies definitely lynch’s best. Eraserhead was just too weird for my taste but it had some great parts in it.

  2. The man surely is one sandwich short of a picnic, obssessed by Elvis he played him in a film then went on to marry Presleys daughter Lisa Marie, even claiming to be Presley reincarnated, although the daft bastard must have been a teenager when Elvis died.

    • He played a great elvis in wild at heart though but yeah the whole marry lisa marie thing was a bit strange but all celeb cunts have a huge ego

  3. One empty headed skull buys another empty headed skull, oh the irony, he actually outbid Leonardo di Caprio for it.

  4. David Cameron is (again) a monumental cunt…
    The Etonian Pigfucker is at it again: now he is saying that people who are let out of prisons will get ‘special care’ and that ‘those who make mistakes shall get a second chance….’
    Crime is not a ‘mistake’, it is committing a crime, simple as that… And you can bet your life this ‘care’ won’t be for those who have fallen onto the wrong side of the tracks or those who have been done for something minor… This will be mollycoddling of rapists, murderers, nonces etc… Just like those two sadistic murdering Scouse bastards, Venables and Thompson, have the life of fucking riley… Or maybe these ex-cons will get a home form home ‘cell’, a university degree and a pet poodle, like that piece of scum, Myra Hindley… While the unemployed, mentally ill, elderly and underprivileged actually get treated lie criminals…. Cameron is from Satan’s arse and he is a cunt!

    • To be fair I would be open to the idea of sending less people to prison with the proviso that offenders are giving an absolute kicking on conviction, a right proper thrashing mind you. Murders of course would be strung up. Yes Mr Cameron you may be onto something just a few tweeks to your policy and Im in.

  5. I can feel you anger Norman and totally agree, services for mental health and elderly care are being cut to the bone, leaving the most vulnerable of our society left adrift, maybe humanities wasn’t high on the curriculm at Eton.

    • Unless you count fagging in the dorm, lots of huMANities in those friendly Etonian tussles, fnar’ fnar’.

    • It gets worse… Pigshagger Dave has now said that ex-cons will be able to conceal their ‘past’ in order to get better jobs… So some cunt who has committed GBH or attempted murder should be put on the same footing as an ordinary, decent person for a job application? Where will it end? Will rapists be able to work with women? Nonces with schoolkids? Has Cameron ever heard of Ian Huntley? This cunt will do anything to see employment figures go down…. Cameron might like working with scum, but the rest of us don’t…

      • Conceal their past? I thought the whole point of a pardon was so you know the convicts past history. Hameron has proven to be worse or at least just as bad as thatcher ,actually alot worse then thatcher though thatcher was still a cunt who viewed herself as the messiah. Hameron destroyed NHS with privatisation, lied about how many migrants are coming to uk. he’s told so many lies its hard to keep track of them all. Hameron is lower then dog shite

  6. although i feel the nomination may be justified……for the genius that is ‘leaving las vegas’ i cannot help but feel that Nicholas has earned himself a cunt absolution

    • Would that count as papal bull? Leaving LV happened to be on last night and I ended up watching it whilst the moggy threw up nearby, they know a cunt when they see one. Moving little epic though. Maybe the skull was some sort of Catholic relic, I’m all for that voodoo shit but it does seem a bit expensive for a miracle cure.

  7. Ellie Goulding is a cunt…
    Apparently this poor love is so overworked that she (in her own words) can’t find the time to have something to eat… I am sure that there are those in full time and totally knackering jobs who feel so sorry for her… Everyone else seems to manage it, so what makes this silly cow so different? My old man worked 12 hour shifts fixing lorries, but he still got his dinner… But one musn’t be nasty, must we? The poor petal mustn’t despair, because I’ve thought of a solution to her terrible starvation problem…. Elllie can spend less time squawking tuneless crap, posing for pictures like a trollop, and talking shit… Then she might find the time to learn how to use a sandwich toaster…. Simple, really….

    • Ellie Goulding and her music is completely inconsequential. She is utterly pointless.

      • Joke is if the silly bitch wanted anything to eat, it would get made for her by some lackey or servant or whoever…The daft bint probably doesn’t even wipe her own arse…

  8. I thought she would be worth having a crack at, until I found out she was getting nobbed by some cunt in a boy band. Totally put me off that did, and a sure sign of lacking artistic credibility. Certainly no musical prodigy that one!

  9. Knowing: one of my favourite films because the white kids and the white bunnies get saved and everyone else, including the god botherers and banksters, dies, where’s me 47 virgins I died a martyr, “Fuck off you were nuked hiding in the bog.”

    Win win win win win win to infinity and beyond

    Fx: *Woosh*

    But he’s still a CUNT!

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