Vinyl Collectors


Who cares if your extruded poly-vinyl mono 7″ sounds ‘warmer’ with a richer/bass’ than a dirty digital CD.

There has been a resurgence of wankers , mostly apple fan boys who now collect vinyl because it is ‘cool’, they collect vinyl like fucking Superman comics, the self important cunts that they are.

Who gives a shit if you have a mis-pressed 7″ at 78rpm instead of 45rpm with the labels on the wrong sides that is worth £50,000 because only 100 copies left the press before it was corrected.
The shit is only worth what some other sucker will pay for it.

It should be, always has been and is about the music, not collecting stuff because it’s cool to be retro. or act all superior because your vinyl is not thrown through a high pass filter when compressed to mp3 and thus will always sound superior on a decent system as opposed to fucking ipods and fucking phone mp3 players with £3 headphones!

Nominated by: Boaby

45 thoughts on “Vinyl Collectors

  1. Vinyl does have a certain particular sound but audiophiles piss me off sometimes. Do these cunts have extra ordinary power of hearing? give me a break,these cunts got bloody hearing of a fucking dolphin or something? My mp3’s flac,wmv,avi or not still sounds fucking great to me and my speakers aren’t even anything special.

    • I like my vinyl records, but top quality tapes also had a really great souind… What I don’t get is these people who will pay ridiculous money for a record when it isn’t even anything to do with listening to music… I recently sold an original mono version of ‘The Rolling Stones No.2’ on vinyl… A fine album, but somebody paid a daft amount for it simply because the back cover had some text by Andrew Loog Oldham about kicking a blind man that was deleted from later pressings… I’m glad they did pay through the nose for it, but I don’t know why… I also heard some pub bore knobend bragging about how he owned Led Zeppelin’s debut album on vinyl, but with the turquoise writing on it …. All well and good, but does it make the record sound any different? If not then why fucking bother?

      • For these people, it’s all about having a record that someone else doesn’t, which they think makes them better in some way. I recently got an audio cassette, one of only twenty five ever made, but if it was something I didn’t want to listen to, then there would be no point.

  2. Similar theme to foodies and wine bores – they all advanced senses to detect all the refinements that the rest of us peasants simply can’t appreciate. Well… I like chips and beer, and plenty of ’em.

    I think vinyl is a another self-fullfilling prophecy, in that if you spend a staggering amount on this stuff plus a top end sound system with valve amps, etc to go with it, then I reckon I’d convince myself that it definitely sounds better than everything else – otherwise I’d be crying about the money I just wasted!

    Each to their own I guess but all this stuff isn’t exactly portable, so I think I’ll stick with my trusty little mp3 player, cheapo headphones and as much Judas Priest as I can fit on the frigger…!

    • Wine bores. They should clone Vlad the Impaler just for wine bores. One of my mates encountered a wine bore at a posh party a couple of years back. Apparently, even the host hated the twat, but apparently the host wanted to build an extension to their house, and the wine bore was on the planning committee.

      He did the all the wine tasting shit that you see the likes of real experts like Jilly Goolden and Oz Clarke doing. And he was all;

      ‘yeeeessss….I’m getting hints of oak, cloaked in elderberry, with a hint of cinnamon”.

      He then turned to my mate, who was always a straight talking bloke, and asked;

      “What are you getting”?

      My mate smiled at him and replied;


  3. I wonder what Mozart would think if he came back today and listened to the dirty filthy low idiot black bing-bong crap – that the brain-dead sheep cunts listen to now.

    Worthless white trash should be burned like rats.

  4. To whom it may concern,
    I sincerely wish to nominate Jeremy ‘mudderfuggin’ Kyle ,that Utter Cock off of that Jeremy Kyle Show,you know,the one what looks like a retired second hand car dealer that’s staring down the headlights of an obligatory nonce stairwell bashing named ‘Operation Yewtree’.
    Now,don’t get me wrong,I’m certainly not slandering the good Mr.Kyle’s name,it’s just that he did touch my preteen penis in the 1970s.
    If you take a good look at his bitter, puckered-up paedo mouth,you may be a-tinkin’ dat he got dat look from smokin’ 20 Marlboros a day.
    Let me tell you,he didn’t.
    He likes young boys cock.
    Therefore,I think this more than qualifies him for being a CUNT.
    Sirs,I thank you for your time,

    • To clarify, there is no basis we know of for suggesting Kyle is a paedophile. We do however believe that he is a cunt…

      Please keep your comments non-slanderous in future.

  5. I prefer the sound of Vinyl, but there are many variables like were the source Instruments that make up the ‘Song’ Analogue Instruments? What the quality of your listening system is (record needle, CD player etc) Whether you prefer Vinyl or CD one thing is for sure MP3, AAC and all the other shit compressed formats are shit. In Proffessional studios most recordings are done in 24bit 96khz quality, they are sold in consumer (CD) format which is 16bit 44.1khz which has been the standard for decades. An Mp3 song is typically compressed to 10% of the size of the same song you would find on a CD. Where does all the data go? Thats why compressed formats sound hollow and its why most DJ’s would not use them to play on a loud system. I guess if your happy with the way MP3’s etc sound then thats fine but the real reason they are popular is because they take less time to download and you can fit more of them on a fucking iPod, iPad, or whatever device you play your cunty music on. Compressed music is not how the Artists want their music to be heard, and the sad thing is is that consumer music quality has become worse. The Cunts.

    • Nonsense Mp3’s sounds fine, vinyl also sounds fine I don’t think it sounds superior just the listening experience is different and a warmer sound especially if mono. I did a sound test with my vinyl ,avi mp3 and mp3 flac(played on my PS3) they were all the same album between the buttons because (its one of only 10 vinyl albums I have) that and I have a flac file of BTB by the stones. Listening through my 45 inch Lcd tv with average speakers nothing special. Guess what? not a huge difference, You could only make out small differences it the different formats.
      Anytime a person makes a claim about something sounding better than another thing, we need to be understand that the statement has no bearing on technical measurements but is based on personal perception and taste. “Compressed music is not how the Artists want their music to be heard” bloody nonsense the artist doesn’t want you to listen to compressed sound is mainly because of mp3 being practically free from mp3free sites and youtube,spotify etc. is because it’s stolen music.

      • “Nonsense Mp3’s sounds fine, vinyl also sounds fine”

        No. MP3s are compressed to fuck, which removes most of the dynamic range and a lot of musical information that *is* audible – to humans, not just to dogs and dolphins. MP3s only sound “fine” through the crappy headphones you get with iPods and the like – and that is all MP3s are designed for. MP3s are the portable version of the sound of a car radio. Now compare MP3s played through an iPod with either vinyl or CDs played through any halfway decent HiFi separates system (six hundred quid or so, not thousands) – MP3s will be exposed as distinctly ropey. Yes, they sound “fine” if you just want background music while you’re on the train. But a separates system will always sound much, much better (whether it’s vinyl or CD).

        This cunting should really have specified the “resurgence in vinyl collecting by hipster cunts with big beards, man buns, earlobe stretchers and skinny jeans” because these aren’t people who appreciate music, they’re not even record collectors, they’re just self-parodic, cock-juggling thundercunts who automatically venerate anything a little bit retro.

      • I’m not an expert on this subject, and I don’t know much about MP3, other than they’re music files. But I know what I like. MP3 is fine for listening to music at the gym or on a run. But at home, when not using crappy earphones, it has to be vinyl or CD for me. I have quite and expensive sound system, and my records and CD’s sound fantastic on it. Far superior to MP3, which I think sounds quite tinny. Then again, I’ve never got the hang of adjusting the sound on my MP3 player. Trust me, they are NOT idiot proof.

        I find it’s the same with video too. I have a huge DVD collection, which is duplicated on hard drives with AVI and MP4 files. The DVD’s just seem better at home. I only use the digital files on my tablet if I, or a family member have an appointment.

      • I have quite a few cassettes too. They’re still in good nick, but some of them are beginning to show their age. Shame really, because once they’re finally knackered, they’re gone forever.

      • Thanks for your explanation Fred, I am a sound engineer (recording) and I tend to get a bit techy when it comes to Audio, etc. ‘Thundercunts’ love that one, got to go in the cunters dictionary if it isn’t already.

      • Everbody has a preference and if something sounds good enough for you then thats fine. From a purely technical angle Vinyl and CD’s are much higher quality than MP3’s etc as they are an uncompressed format and are the highest quality consumer formats available which capture much more of the dynamic range and frequencies of the Studio/Live recordings.

      • Titslapper I stand by Artists not wanting their sound to be MP3 etc, as they don’t spend massive amounts of money on studio sessions with the best mic pre’s, mixing desks, etc etc and spend ages recording to get the perfect sound recorded (at super high quality frequencies, and bit rates), to then have it hollowed out to a fraction of its original data size so a load of cunts who only listen on their iPods or other tinny systems can download it quicker and store more of it on their devices.

      • “Guess it depends whether you want your music to sound “fine” or “wonderful”.” Oh for FS I meant fine as in its alright how it is, not in superiority. They are pro and cons to all formats but also vinyl ticks and pops eventually but yes there is a magic of popping the needle down and watching it spin while you listen.
        @blackwhite thats fine I’ve been out tech’d but It doesn’t really matter its preference not fact artists don’t like Mp3 because its stolen music.

      • @Titslapper, your right Artists don’t like MP3’s etc also because of the harm people downloading (for free) and sharing does to their sales. Where we are now with music sales, most Artists make their money touring and performing live as opposed to record sales which is a good and a bad thing.

      • Remastered a lot of the time to me is somebody making a perfectly good recording louder through limiting and wider (stereo imaging) with a few other tricks to make it sound modern. I was taught by a top sound engineer who has recorded the Red hot chilli peppers and Prince and more. A lot of people nowadays want their songs LOUD so they over process all the tracks. Over processing is necessary with dance music as you want the drugged up cunts to feel it, but there is no need with lets say more listening or band orientated music.

  6. I own quite a bit of vinyl. Not because of any hipster fad, or because its retro.

    The reason I own vinyl is because that was the only medium the music was available on at the time of release.

    I updated my collection to CDs when these became available.

    The reason I did this is because vinyl really doesn’t play that well in a moving vehicle. Which is the only chance I get to listen to music these days……and early Metallica, Iron Maiden and Megadeth scares the shit out of the wife and kids.

  7. You really can’t beat the convenience of MP3 in my opinion. Fair enough, its a stripped down format but unless you’re sat in a room with just a turntable, amp and speakers for company, you’re unlikely to tell the difference. I always thought it was much better to share good music with some mates and a few beers/spliffs/both and looking back it was always a pain in the fuckin ringpiece everytime you had to guide the needle onto the record when you were either pissed/stoned/both or otherwise. Now you wouldn’t want to be doing that with some piece of vinyl worth fuck knows how much when you’ve a head full of whatever would you ?? Much better to click a mouse button….if you’re still capable of reading whats on the screen !!!

  8. MP3 is handy, I agree… Also stops your records getting damaged when people are pissed at a party…

    I see Cunts ‘N’ Roses are getting back together… How nice for us all to see a redneck ferret in a kilt and a poodle with a top hat and a cigarette once again…

    • How nice for us all to see a redneck ferret in a kilt and a poodle with a top hat and a cigarette once again…

      I laughed so much I snorted out my coffee. 🙂

      • I used to be a college teacher, and it used to annoy me when snotty student types (you know the sort, the Tarquins of this world) thought that ‘Appetite For Destruction’ was ‘the’ rock/metal album… Their puzzled faces when I told them to listen to some Cream or Deep Purple…

  9. Me old shellac 78s are still going strong after all these years. Getting needles these days is a bit orf a bugger. Old ears are going a bit Mutt these days but agree nothing beats the dynamic range orf analogue vinyl played through a decent valve amp and some stonking speakers. CD is a compressive medium (although the least compressed) as is Mini Disc, MP3 ect ect. Cunts these days have probably never heard good full range audio.

    Bye the bye Fred West must have moved without letting the authorities know:

    • My missus bought me a bottle of that stuff last Christmas, instead of my usual Whiskey. Fucking awesome gear. My mates and I had a glass, along with a good Cuban cigar on New Year’s Eve in my man cave. The ladies took up residence in the kitchen and got pissed on one of my bottles of Jack Daniels White Rabbit. Fuckers.

      Still, it was a great night. We had our friends, great food, loads of booze, cigars and lots of piss taking of the Hootenanny. It’s a shite show, full of pretentious pricks who think they’re musical geniuses, and slebritees who take themselves way too seriously. But it’s actually hilarious if you watch it while tanked up on good hooch and communist tobacco.

      • Agreed QDM, I am feeling the effects today (63% alcohol). I tell you what if I was watching that weird cunt on Hootenay last night I would have pissed myself laughing.

  10. I have vinyl and cassettes. I’ve had them for years, decades in some cases. I’m not one of those pretentious cunts who reckons vinyl is superior to everything to else, I keep them because they have immense sentimental value, and have a lot of good memories. I keep them locked away in my man cave, in the backyard of Fort McGraw, because my brood have no fucking respect for things like that. Especially if belongs to me. I’ve always looked after them, so they still play well. Besides, 80’s music is far better than the shite you get today. Dustbin Beaver and No Direction.

    Vinyl collectors are almost as bad as those adult weirdo’s who buy certain toys and keep them in their packaging because they’ll be worth money in the future. Star Wars collectors are the worst for the that. Particularly those who have stuff from the original trilogy. I once encountered a knob who got angry when I told him that I played with my Star Wars toys back in the ’80’s. I was fucking ten years old when Return of the Jedi came out. Of course I played with my Star Wars toys, you fucking sixty year old virgin. They’re TOYS, they’re meant to played with. By children. Not collected by possible paedo’s like you.

    • Always remember that knob Clarkson stating that anyone who has a toy James Bond Aston Martin (with ejector seat etc) on his mantelpiece is an obvious peado. Cheeky cunt, I’ve got four of them, all original 1960’s releases. But the idiots buying the Skyfall/Spectre cash-in rerelease for nearly 40 quid, on the assumption that it’s an investment, are indeed cunts.

  11. I have to nominate the left wing and the Metropolitan police for a cunting. In the Daily Fail, they’ve have TWO stories of spectacular fuckwittery from officers of the Met. Now, I know that there are many, many decent cops in forces all over the country. Unfortunately, their good work is fucked up by the incompetent dog shit lickers who infest their ranks.

    Firstly, we read today that police have spent THREE WEEKS searching for Actress Sian Blake, her two sons, and her boyfriend, only to find the bodies of Miss Blake and her sons in the back garden of the house the police had ALREADY searched. They also found that her boyfriend, Arthur Simpson-Kent, had Foxtrot Oscared to Ghana a couple of weeks ago. Great police work their boys and girls. Every decent cop is sitting with their heads in their hands right now.

    The best one though, concerns the prime suspect for that Sand wog, Jihadi Jane’s replacement, Siddhartha Dhar. Now imaginatively named, “Jihadi Sid”. Also known as Abu Rumaysah, this piece of shit had been interviewed by Al BBC, and had been arrested by the Met on terror related offences SIX times before being detained in September 2014and placed on a terror watchlist for encouraging terrorism and supporting banned group Al-Muhajiroun. Within 24 hours, he’d fucked off to Paris on a coach with his wife and four children. From their they headed to Turkey, and then Syria.

    Apparently, he was arrested on the 26th of September and then bailed, on condition that he hand in his passport by October 3rd. He skipped bail almost immediately and fucked off abroad. Yet it wasn’t until NOVEMBER 7th that plod decided to write to Dhar to ask him to PHONE them and explain why he hadn’t handed in his passport. I kid you not. The Met allowed someone they KNEW was a terrorist to go free on bail, without putting any kind of surveillance in place. It’s just dumb luck that the cunt decided to fuck off out of the country, rather than commit an atrocity. Because he WOULD have succeeded.

    Apparently, officers did knock on his door a couple of times, but nobody seems to have thought to investigate further why someone facing such serious charges was not answering the door. Now, we all know that the authorities, plod included, have their heads shoved firmly up the arses of the adherents of the “Religion of Peace”. They do this because they’re terrified of offending the adherents of the “Religion of Peace” in case one of them gets angry and peacefully blows themselves, and many innocent people, to kingdom come. And that is the basis for the staggering incompetence on display in this case. Fear of offending muslims.

    What’s sorely needed, is a complete and brutal, top down reform of the police, the civil service and the government. All of the limp wristed, ignorant, bigoted, arrogant, anti-UK, far left parasites infesting those organisations, needed to be weeded out and removed. The UK is facing an unparalleled threat from muslims, and the left are not only hindering the efforts to counter that threat, their actions are actively helping muslims.

    It’s because of these left wing shitbags that we now live in a country where sharia courts are tolerated, where at least 1400 white girls were raped by muslim paedophiles, while the police and social services not only stood by and did nothing, but branded the victims liars and racists. That is a fucking disgrace. We also live in a country where, thanks to these left wing buffoons, a muslim can accuse someone of “islamophobia” without a shred of evidence and be believed by the police. A country where disrespectful muslim women are allowed to disguise themselves as bin bags, and enter places where someone wearing a hoodie, a motorbike helmet or even a baseball cap would have to remove said headgear. There is NO requirement in islam for a woman to completely cover herself. Even muslims have admitted that. It’s also a country where muslims have been allowed to nurture a sense of victimhood and oppression, when there is none. The younger are particularly prone to this.

    EVERYTHING wrong with this country right now, is a direct result of the treacherous left’s deliberate mismanagement. And a lot of our problems stem from the uncontrolled immigration that was started back in ’97 by that arch cunt, Tony Blair. Roads are congested because there are too many people driving. The NHS is at breaking point, because too many people want to use it. There’s a severe housing shortage, because there are too many people in the country. There’s a severe terrorist threat, because no fucker has any real clue who’s in the country, and there is no real enthusiasm for finding out. The UK is full, and yet STILL those thick fuckers on the left are calling on Cameron to allow MORE than 20,000 “refugees” into the UK.

    It’s beyond time that the left were stripped of their power. We cannot start improving the UK until the traitors have been removed.

    • Trouble is that the cunts are embedded everywhere in the media, the civil service, the police, schools, community centres, universities and colleges. They are all seething with hate and contempt, due to not getting that full Bolshevik revolution they expected after WW2. And they’re mostly fucking well paid snobby arrogant cunts too….

  12. Vinyl has always been a consumer product. Made from by products from another consumer product. The trend cycle is complete with hipsters. I find it , they buy it! The sound quality is a good example of what was made by a bunch of guys standing around a recording studio mixing what they think would sound cool on the radio. Pretty close to that tape they mixed down for the vinyl master.

  13. A tip for any iTunes using cunts who have a lot of hard drive space. If your importing your CD’s into iTunes select WAV, or AIFF as the import encoder. This is CD quality, but will take up more space. Someone buy me a pint of Cider for that tip then?

  14. Here’s my views on the vinyl / mp3 / digital debate as a recording artist ( sounds grander than it is ) :

    (1) Vinyl was great in it’s day. It hissed cracked and popped but that’s how we oldies remember it. The remastered CDs of vinyl just sound wrong to those of us that remember the originals. I have a Led Zed remastered CD that I don’t listen to because I have the unremastered version and it just sounds better. It’s as I remember it.

    (2) Tape was also fine in it’s day. We bought the vinyl and copied it to play in the car and then later on the Walkman. The trouble with tape is that the magnetic signal degrades and the tape stretches or breaks or gets mangled by the player. I never bought tapes – always the vinyl and then taped it. It works as a backup if you think about it

    (3) mp3 is fine if you’re an old fart like me because as we get older, the frequencies our ears can hear get narrower. We lose the extremes especially at the high end. No point in shelling out for something you can’t hear!

    As a musician with 11 albums on sale on iTunes, Spotify, Google, Amazon and several other sites, I like mp3 / aiff and the like. Because it’s digital, I can record using LogicPro without hiring a studio and l can mix it myself. I then distribute for minimal cost through the aforementioned sites to a worldwide audience that’s not available any other way without a recording contact with a major label.

    OK I get piratted. I have one album at the moment that’s being heavily piratted in Russia and India. I don’t like it, but it’s a market I wouldn’t have had access to any other way so WTF! At least people listen to it.

    ‘Musicians don’t like mp3’? Well I do for the reasons I’ve stated. And I avoid being tied into management contracts with cunts like Cowell or Stigwood and dictated to by the record labels. Vinyl is fine for the old stuff, but for new stuff it’s recorded digital and there’s no nondigital versions to compare it to.

    Digital works great and has many advantages for us small fry 😉

    • You’re right chas MP3 is a double edged sword , the fact of the matter is I would have never heard of a thousand different bands/artists if I had to buy it all. I would enjoy alot of this music on vinyl or cd but some of it is obscure and hasn’t been reissued or is really expensive to buy. Even though alot people steal music sometimes its the only way to get fans if 10 people steal your music I’m sure at least 2 people would end up buying if they like it enough.

  15. Fuck you I still love records !! been buying it for over 25 years from Japan since new when releases ( time allowing) were available :- you yourself must be a cunt because those who had “VINYL,” would call it a record for fucks sake, not VINYL .

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