Gap Year


Its the gap yah cunts that piss me off.

Mummeh and Daddeh pay a small fortune for their irritating and clueless offspring to fuck off on an extended holiday. Said student arseholes then like to regale anyone who will listen about the ‘special’ time they had and the locals they ‘bonded’ with while living in a traditional mud and dung hut.

Right, lets get a couple of things straight.

First, the locals fucking hate you, you middle class irritating fucktard.
The Masai aren’t there to entertain you with their ‘traditional’ songs and pogo sessions.
It has been documented that what they are actually singing is “Give us your money and fuck off whitey”.

The animals are all largely fucking dangerous, this is why they are called ‘wild animals’. Only a complete fucking retard would actually want to go anywhere within clawing, biting or stomping distance of them. This is why the locals carry guns.

Third up is the exotic diseases that you’re going to come home with.

Shagging the local war chief’s daughter isn’t a mark of respect, she has AIDS. They want you to die.
You will also be bitten by at least one of the following: Tsetse fly (sleeping sickness, but to be honest nobody will notice for months because students normally sleep for 16 hours of the day).
Mosquito (malaria. Again nobody will really notice because the jaundiced look goes with all the chronic you spend Mummeh and Daddeh’s cash on).
Other parasitic infections (no, not other students) of the type that will see things bursting out of your skin.

Frankly, anyone who pays money to go anywhere near a shithole like Africa deserves all of the above….and a dose of Ebola as a warning to others.


Nominated by: Odin’s Balls

27 thoughts on “Gap Year

  1. Quality cunting there Odin’s Balls. Can’t add anything regarding students, although I also can’t stand normal adults who blather on and on about “travelling”. OK, they’re probably paying for it themselves, but please, there’s a reason showing people holiday snaps has become a long-standing joke. It’s not fucking interesting.

    • Agree with GH, superb cunting. I can add one thing regarding students and that is that ART students are absolutely the worst kind of student.

      As evidence, here is a photograph:

      What do you think it shows? A mess in an abandoned workshop? No. That, fellow cunters, is an “art installation” submitted as an exam piece by an art student. I rest my case.

      What a fucking CUNT!

      • If I’d tried that at school it would have been detentions and a stern letter to my parents.

      • As regards “installation art”, “conceptual (??) art”, &c., IM not so very HO, “art” is a four-letter word – the F is silent, of course. A most excellent little vade-mecum on this subject is “We go to the gallery”, publ. Dung Beetle Press (a good piss-take of Ladybird Books). Laugh, I nearly shat…Haven’t laughed so much since Aunt Mabel got her left tit stuck in the mangle….

  2. They should spend a gap ‘yar’ fucking grafting, meanwhile learning about basic ablutions, decent banter and buying a round.

    • I did exactly that. My gap year consisted of three different jobs over 14 months to save money so I didn’t have to live like a beggar at uni…!

  3. Yes he is. An arrogant, cock nosed, multicultural supporting cunt, who lives in non multicultural Devon. I know I’ve mentioned that before, but it’s worth repeating.

      • Probably fucked his kids as well, like Arthur (I have no idea if Bragg has kids and can’t be bothered to look it up. So for any lawyers reading, these are possibly hypothetical kids. You greedy, greedy cunts).

  4. Lets hope Nick Grimshaw goes on a gap year and catches ebola off the end of a zulu warriors 10 inch helmet….he can then come back and pass on too Simon Cowell,id say Cheryl Mancini too but looking at the state of her I think shes already contracted it

  5. Steady on Norman that’s an insult to Arthur Mullard, who can forget his classic duet with Hylda Baker of ‘You’re the one that I want’ priceless.

    • Yeah, comparing Arhtur to Bragg is a bit unfair…. On Arthur…
      Billy Brag actually sounds like Bernard Bresslaw doing ‘Mad Passionate Love…’

  6. I still remember the student cunt waiving his student loan payback petition under my nose at the entrance/exit to a shopping mall as I was trying to leave, no thanks I said, if you take the loan and make something of yourself then pay it back!

    What if I don’t succeed he said. I said then you’re a useless job shy freeloading cunt putting the tax payer under even more burden! Under my nose the petition went again as he said with a cheeky grin ‘sign it anyway, what do you care’, as I grabbed the smug cunt by his trench coat lapel with one hand (I had shopping in the other) and looked him in the eye and said ‘run for your life’, the smug grin slowly vanished and he put his lazy life of riley sponging student ass into turbo and fucked off quicker than shit through a goose.

    Great cunting OB, the only real gap most of these lazy student cunts have is between their ears! Cunts!

  7. Brilliant cunting sir… nice to get the nearest tramp to hurl some white lightning vomit with bits of greggs steak bake in student cunts man bag,then to pour contents of man bag over the dirty whiney student cunts head,hes prob got hair like that cunt Prick Grimshaw too,little curly quif and retro national health glasses…..

  8. Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez Versini Geordie Slag is a cunt…
    According to that X-Factor shite Cheryl is now ‘mentoring’ two black lads…
    Not the first time that she’s done that, eh?

    Apart from her being a totally unpleasant cunt (relatives in the north east have told me what a nasty little cunt she was, even as a kid), she is also an ugly cunt.. Bloody hell, I’ve seen more meat in a KFC box….

    • Ahhh, the nations sweetheart….

      Her name is/was Cheryl Tweedy. No matter how much football player pole she smokes of no matter what ethnicity, she is still a geordie tunnel cunt who beats up black toilet attendants.

  9. Simon Mignolet is a useless Cunt, West Brom are hoof ball cunts, Klopp will clear out a load of cunts. Some of those cunts should not be wearing the Liverpool shirt. The cunts.

    • I don’t know to this day why Pepe Reina was replaced by that clown Mignolet… And all sides managed by Tony Pulis are negative, long ball -proto-Wimbledon, kick and rush cunts… Klopp should have nodded Pulis one…

      • Agreed Norman, Rodgers decided Reina was past it I reckon. We definitely need a new Keeper.

  10. How about a gap year in the military? they get to learn about personal hygene, getting out of bed, shutting up and listening.
    They would get free world travel, medical care, meet other cultures with very different values and ways of thinking (Issil).
    who knows it might make for better leaders in the future?
    Didnt do Hitler any harm did it?

  11. A sad little secret of these gap-year cunts is that they go to foreign countries to hang out together in protected hostels and protected bars. They know if they mingle with real foreigners they will be raped and stabbed.

    Having said that, it’s not uncommon for low middle class slags to have sex with 20 blacks a day.

  12. I live in Cardiff,and that means I fucking hate students and have earned the right to say this as I have had to put up with them for year,heres why I feel this way this is my opinion on the student career…
    [1] they arrive in a new town with no parents and a student loan,so they go on the piss,the first 3 months is spent not handling their drink,jumping on cars,throwing up,pissing and shitting in the street,being total knobs and expecting special treatmant for making a general cunt of themselves usually with several visits to A&E or the clap clinic,they lose their bond at the end of the year so they havnt got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of,year two a repeat of year one pretty much except they run out money sooner as they now have 2 years worth of debts the cunt,year 3 the remember there was a reason the came to Cardiff apart from to avoid getting a fucking job for a couple of years,so now mega debt,realise its time to make an effort so they run around whinging about how stressed out they are,so in the end they scrape though and only just get a degree,so then they decide to take a gap year so get over the 3 months work of work they have done which gets them a worthless qualification,so then they spend a year travelling,pissing it up,make a general cunt of themselves,crying about having no money and the huge student loan they are going to be paying back for the 20 years due to being a shoe stacker at superbowl albeit with a degree in sociology…. so I hope you enjoy your gap year CUNTS!!!!!

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