Christmas stockings

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Yes tonight’s the night when that old cunt Santa comes down the chimney to fill the kiddies’ stockings!

I mean, what’s the fucking point of that. It’s the 21st century! Where’s the fucking chimney and how does he avoid fucking up the solar panels with his fucking reindeer? And those Christmas stockings; how are you supposed to get little Johnny’s new bike and X-box into one of those fuckers. They’re too bloody small for anything half decent.

Fuck Christmas stockings. Just tell Santa to leave the fucking sack.

And I ate the old cunt’s mince pies so he’s right put of luck!

Yes, Christmas stocking are useless cunts. Get real!!!

Nominated by: Santa Cunts

18 thoughts on “Christmas stockings

  1. Well you cunters are a bunch of bloody Ba’hum bugging cunts! 6 christmas cuntings! what will the the 7th day of christmas cunting’s bring us. Nobody bothered to cunt kwanza, Eid ul Fitr or hanukkah. No wonder people on here think this site is run by zionists. “those Christmas stockings; how are you supposed to get little Johnny’s new bike and X-box into one of those fuckers.” well considering its for small items eg: gift cards, small toys, cd’s and knick knacks you’d assume you could fit a horse, you liverpudlian bastard HA!
    Also why is santa always running after kids promising kids stuff he can’t afford he’s like jimmy saville Santa will fix it, fuck he will! you’re parents are gonna have to buy those presents. Hey Santa leave those kids alone!All in all you’re just another noncey cunt in the chimney!

    • You want to cunt kwanza, Eid ul Fitr or hanukkah or Divali for that matter? You write ’em and we’ll publish ’em

      We don’t do it for you…

      • I would cunt kwanza and the other two if I knew what the fuck they were . Cunts anyway.

      • Calm down I was only half joking but maybe I will, I would cunt Eid ul Fitr but we would probably get a email from the bbc for islamophobia (whatever that means) I would cunt kwanza again racism(whatever that means) and I would cunt hanukkah but I’m sure cunt’s mate would get his yarmulke bent out of shape for muh anti-semtimism (again whatever the fuck that means). No No No cunting ones culturally western defined holiday is very un-pc this is great.

      • Have to admit, I’ve never heard of Kwanza. Sounds like some weird kind of bread that a fucking leftie vegan would eat.

      • Kwanza is a made up holiday to make African Americans believe they had some kind of culture before being sold to YT by their fellow countrymen.

        Obviously they didn’t and still don’t.

    • “…think this site is…”? T.S. this is a honey trap for anti Semitic historical revisionists, but who gives a fuck. I’m most probably on some radar from my school day rantings.

  2. I blame god and jebus, if it wasn’t for them Santa wouldn’t of been crucified and died for our grins!

  3. Fortunately, I no longer have any children young enough to believe in Santa, so we don’t have to bother with putting out stockings, or mince pies. Or a glass of MY Jack fucking Daniels. Or even tell them that I’ve had a battery of anti-aircraft missiles positioned on the roof. Well I thought it was funny.

  4. I find it hard to believe, given she will be on at least one film at this time of year, that Julie Walters has failed to be Cunted.
    I recall first coming across Walters in the 80’s when by some miracle she gained the lead in a couple of movies during the British Film revival. Due to not being spectacularly shite, though I could have smacked her in the face during “Educating Rita”, she seems to have become “National Treasure”.
    There is nothing, from Victoria Wood, through Adrian Mole, to the Harry Potter franchise, that Julie Walters hasn’t made worse by her presence. Her overacting, screechy voice, hunched mannerisms make any scene she appears in painful to watch.
    Julie Walters is proof positive that once you’re in with the in crowd in the nepotistic puddle that is British acting talent, you are made for life.
    And who picked her to play Cynthia Payne, if you turned up at a brothel and Julie was on offer, you’d have a tug at home instead.

      • “Car Trouble” I believe is the title. Some 1980s crap British film about a husband who gives his classic car more attention than his missus (understandable if it’s Julie Fucking Walters).

  5. Can’t argue with that… And that Scouse accent in Educating Rita doesn’t help either… I think Wayne Rooney might be interested in Walters at a knocking shop… He’s rather partial to northern grannies…

  6. Oh my is this the liverpudlian bastard himself?, what a treat it is to be talked down to by a thieving flaming full blown poof. I was never bullied anywhere I was liked quite well at school might I add.

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