Dead Pool [27]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Sir Limply Stoke for winning the 26th dead pool by predicting that 96 year old Helmut Schmidt, former Fuhrer Chancellor of the Fourth Reich Germany would be the next cunt to pop his clogs.

This makes Sir Limply a 4 time winner – a rare achievement indeed! So well done Dear Boy…

So come on all you cunters! The slate is been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 27. They’re still dropping like flies this time of year so there’s never been a better time to get your name on the slate!

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

157 thoughts on “Dead Pool [27]”

  1. Ah, I missed failing another Pool. I’m so used to getting nowhere that the despair of losing just washes over me now.

    Whatever I had last time *sigh*

    Dick Van Dyke
    Helmut Kohl
    John Noakes
    Mel Brooks
    Val Kilmer

    And if Jihadi John is dead I’m going to monumentally fucked off as I dropped him a few Pools ago.

  2. Did anybody have Warren Mitchell?
    I doubt the knicker wetters at the BBC will put on any Alf Garnett as a tribute to the old boy…

  3. Dioclese – you omitted from the epic DP list all my noms (left after the congrats on the previous pool)!

    And I had Warren Mitchell who has just died today!

  4. I see Dead Pool 26 has gone from the archive – I left all my noms there after congratulating Sir L – and Warren Mitchell was included!! Maybe we need to clarify where noms are made? On any thread as soon as a death is announced – or in the “We Have A Winner” thread?

    For the next pool:

    Clive James
    Denis Norden
    Liz Smith
    Sir George Martin
    Doris Day

    • You certainly did have Alf so congrats.

      Ps if you want to find DP26 just tap it in to the search bar 😉

      My noms….

      Kerry Kuntona
      Woody Allen
      Joan Collins
      Ian Brady
      Cliff (Clit) Richard (coz he’s a bit of a cunt)

    • Hi Fred.
      Dead Pool 26 is still in the archive – I just checked.
      As for Warren Mitchell, you did have him but Schmidt died first. 10th before 14th.
      I don’t have you down as Mitchell for pool 27. If I missed it I apologise. I did publish a list and ask for people to check it a few days ago.

      Anyhow, I have four of the above now logged against you for pool 27. Clive James is already bagged.

      To clarify, I pick up the noms from the admin list of comments so it doesn’t matter where you post them. I am, of course, not infallible which is why I published the list. As I type this, I have 7 more pages of 20 comments to go through tonight!

      • Yeah, I was either the first or second person to post congrats to Sir Limply after Schmidt died and included my usual 5 noms too (as many people have said they remember seeing).

        If Clive James is already bagged, I’d like to cunt the person who did so, and also have these in the pool –

        Denis Norden
        Liz Smith
        Sir George Martin
        Doris Day
        Jean Alexander

        Can we make it a firm rule that new noms ONLY go in once the Pool page has been re-set? And can you confirm receipt of these name? Cheers!

      • Confirmed. You did nominate Sue Perkins earlier, so Alexander substituted for her.

        Yeah, only nominating in the current pool would help. I do try – but everybody jumps in and frankly it can be a bit of a nightmare sorting it out. That’s why I published that long list in the comments and asked people to check it.

        Thanks for the support, Fred. Seems a sensible rule although I should pick them all up sometimes the comments run into literally hundreds a day…

  5. Well played, Fred…
    Mine are the same as last time…

    Tommy Docherty
    Geoffrey Bayldon
    Charles Manson
    Sidney Poitier
    Jimmy Hill

  6. Well done Fred. Same thing happened to me and I know you had Warren Mitchell as a running DC.

    My noms please:

    Muhammed Ali
    Leslie Phillips
    Ken Dodd
    Olivia DeHavilland
    Jerry Lewis

    • I normally post my noms in all the threads, but last time I was about to re-post them and then saw Dio’s comment to another set of duplicated noms: “Already picked these up on your previous comment. I don’t miss too many!” and decided to trust the old boy!

  8. Here is my entry for Deadpool 28:

    Zsa Zsa Gabor
    Billy Graham
    João Havelange
    Vera Lynn
    Douglas Slocome

  9. Pending an official announcement:
    Nº28.

    David Rockefeller
    Boutros Boutros-Ghali
    John Glenn
    Henry Kissinger
    Mark Thatcher

    Ta muchly.

  10. Any one of several Frenchist death metal fans currently residing in a Parisian intensive care unit.

  12. Late to the table but here goes. Bruce Forsyth, Len Goodman, Bill Roach, Barbera knox, Michael Aspel.

  13. Blimey Charlie, off we go again,

    Dead cunts walking this time around;

    Windsor Davies
    Brian Cant
    Melvyn Hayes
    Frank Bough
    Derek Hatton

  15. 1 George Soros (migrant spreading cunt)
    2 Pope Frances (Peado Cunt)
    3 Roman Polanski (Cunt Cunt)
    4 Ginger Baker (Greatest Drummer,But Cunt of a Father)
    5 Benjamin Netanyahu (kid killing cunt and immigrant spreading cunt)
    removed barck obama added george soros thanks

      • Calm down, calm down and besides I can’t watch your lips I can read your text however. I originally brought up the question about why other cunters were posting new noms in the old forum(26) and I was personally against it. Because people could cheat by cunting someones cunt. You should clarify the rules in the next post(pool) about new noms in the new deadpool only, to avoid confusion and to make your life easier.

      • Fred suggested that rule and I agree it’s a good idea. I’ll implement it on pool 28 when we get there!

        I wasn’t really getting out of my pram but I was getting a bit tired of repeating myself!

  17. You were right, Dio… They’re dropping quicker than Francis Lee used to do when he dived for a penalty…

    Anybody have Cynthia Payne? The grand old madam has popped it….

    • king cunt already has Prince Philip so you’ll need to re-pick there.
      Nanny Pat from TOWIE is a fresh face and at 80 has potential.

      • I am the winner Nanny Pat has croaked

        Richard Debo Debson on November 16, 2015 at 3:46 pm said:
        prince philip
        the queen
        harper lee
        nanny pat
        peter sallis

        Vote 0 likes

        Reply ↓

        TheEye
        on November 16, 2015 at 3:52 pm said:
        king cunt already has Prince Philip so you’ll need to re-pick there.
        Nanny Pat from TOWIE is a fresh face and at 80 has potential.

      • Richard Debo Debson on November 16, 2015 at 3:46 pm said:
        prince philip
        the queen
        harper lee
        nanny pat
        peter sallis

        Vote 0 likes

        Reply ↓

        TheEye
        on November 16, 2015 at 3:52 pm said:
        king cunt already has Prince Philip so you’ll need to re-pick there.
        Nanny Pat from TOWIE is a fresh face and at 80 has potential.

  19. Bugger missed Saeed Jaffrey (for many years almost the only Indian actor seen orn screen). Has dropped dead at 86 isn’tit and I knew the old cunt from me India Days. Me pet vulture Gristle is particularly pissed orf as he was looking forward to a spot orf home cooking.

  20. Didn’t his Mrs used to have a cookery show on BBC2 (before it became a celebrity hobby/cuntfest)?

    Jona Lomu has gone too… I remember in his day he was hyped up by the media like that fat cunt who played for the Chicago Bears… The Fridge or whatever he was called… Except Lomu was pretty handy to have on your side in a rugby game…

  21. If you would be so kind:

    Lord Brian Rixs
    Sir Peter Hall
    Fenella Fielding
    Gerard Depardieu
    Giscard d’Estaing

  22. May I commend for eternal damnation…

    Iain Duncan Smith (looks like the Roswell alien on a bad hair day)
    Kirstie Allsopp
    Dawn French
    Joanna Lumley
    Nigella Lawson (sperm of Satan)

  23. Amending my choice;

    1. Everyone in Turkey
    2. Everyone in Syria
    3. Everyone in Gaza
    4. Everyone in Lebanon
    5. Everyone else.

  24. Nobody’s got Sinead O’Connor?

    She survived an overdose today and my first thought was to check back here and find out if we we’d almost had a winner. Then wondered if I should change one of my picks.

    I’m probably going to hell for that.

    • Survived an overdose…. yeah right… That demented Fenian tart has done this for the same reason she does everything else: to get attention and noticed… Haven’t had a hit in years? Can’t do the ‘rip up The Pope’ stunt again? Can’t sing the praises of the (now dormant) IRA any more? I know, an overdose, which you’ll ‘survive’ because you want to see the headlines and lap up the sympathy… O’ Connor is a cunt…

  26. Anyone have that lad from Velvet Revolver? He shuffled off the other day…
    Shame it wasn’t that little cunt from Guns ‘N’ Roses… The ferret in a kilt….

  27. Can I have Prunella Scales as well as she isnt looking to clever on her boat and cant open the locks for that cunt of a husband of hers Timothy West… Can I have him as well?

  28. I was awaked in my dreams by such a fearful flame and a rushing of comets. Terrible signs and portents indeed. A ginger haired man fried to a crisp. The heavens hath spoken. I bespoke me the ginger haired cunt about to leave this world never to return: the grinning astronaut cunt Major Tim Peake.

  29. I am the winner Nanny Pat has croaked

    Richard Debo Debson on November 16, 2015 at 3:46 pm said:
    prince philip
    the queen
    harper lee
    nanny pat
    peter sallis

    Vote 0 likes

    Reply ↓

    TheEye
    on November 16, 2015 at 3:52 pm said:
    king cunt already has Prince Philip so you’ll need to re-pick there.
    Nanny Pat from TOWIE is a fresh face and at 80 has potential.

    • Well done Richard Debo Dobson!Well picked .never watched TOWIE but saw a couple of interviews of her and she seemed a nice funny old bird!Am I right in thinking we aren`t posting Deadpool 28 entries until the Deadpool 28 is posted by The Eye?

      • I will post my entries here but will as I always do copy them over when the announcement becomes official .Feel free to give me a bollocking if this is no longer how we do this:

        Zsa Zsa Gabor
        Billy Graham
        João Havelange
        Douglas Slocombe
        Vera Lynn

        I was going to take Olivia de Havilland back but decided to leaver her for Sir Limpy Stoke.Maybe it is because I am in a generous spirit due to it being the festive season!

    • You are correct Sir! Well done. I’ve just got home so give me a while to reset the pool please, lads!?!?!?

      Please don’t post any noms until the pool is reset…

  30. My noms for DP28

    Kerry Kuntona
    Woody Allen
    Joan Collins
    Ian Brady
    Cliff (Clit) Richard (coz he’s a bit of a cunt)

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