Darts scorers


Cunts who “can’t chalk” a game of darts in a pub really piss me off.

It’s not that they have an allergy to chalk, they’re just too fucking lazy or ignorant to do some really basic arithmetic – you know, add up 3 1 or 2-digit numbers in your head and subtract the total from another number thats already in front of you. It’s hardly fucking rocket science, although if they buy a drink and get the wrong change they immediately turn into mathematical geniuses.

They see a game on and in true Yosser Hughes fashion think “I can do that – gizza game”.

Have they got their own darts – have they fuck, they’ll “borrow yours”, like fuck they will.

And when you go out of your way to accommodate them, e.g. sort them out a set of pub darts and say that you’ll tell them the scores and remainders to write down, they bounce around by the chalking board like fucking Zebedee or a nodding donkey or yammering in your fucking ear when you’re throwing.

I’m not a fucking social worker; I don’t go to the pub to teach remedial arithmetic or darting etiquette. It’s got to the point where I just fuck off to another pub and they can have the board to themselves.

Nominated by: Frottom

14 thoughts on “Darts scorers

  1. Darts is it really a sport? seems more about luck then skill , not saying their isn’t skill just seems more of a past time game for drunks. These cunts should bring a calculator or a pad and pencil the lazy cunts.

    • Prize winnings in the last 12 months….

      Rank Player Country Prize
      1 Michael van Gerwen Netherlands £1,691,559
      2 Gary Anderson Scotland £970,870
      3 Phil Taylor England £929,348
      4 Adrian Lewis England £600,027
      5 Peter Wright Scotland £591,207
      6 Raymond van Barneveld Netherlands £539,518
      7 James Wade England £508,518
      8 Dave Chisnall England £459,158
      9 Robert Thornton Scotland £456,000
      10 Stephen Bunting England £382,805

      There must be a huge element of skill or they’re fucking lucky alright.

    • Got a oche at home And a dartboard
      MENTAL ARITHMATIC for working class idiots
      plus,minus,times and i am still shite but gives nothing better than adding up,taking away and timesing it 26 as always and my arthuritus plays up ffs

  2. I love playing darks and pool in pubs, and these cunts annoy me too, always pissed and couldn’t hit a barn door at five paces. Another thing that fucks me off about darts is Tony fucking Green. Being forced to watch Bullseye on a Sunday when I was a kid would have been fine if it had not been for this cunt telling them what scores they needed and “take ya time, come on now,” jabbering on and mooing at the camera. They were darts players, they could work the score out for themselves, and I think there was a fucking great big scoreboard as well. I can’t understand how the fat cunt survived as long as he has without someone shoving three darts up his big fucking nose. Perhaps it was just me being pissed off as a kid.

  3. Could be worse them electronic darts with the plastic tips and you put money in a machine DIABOLICAL

    • the equavillent of throwing a floppy dildo at whore with her legs wide open across the street and hitting the mickey ds window

  4. ‘Cunts who “can’t chalk” a game of darts in a pub really piss me off.’

    Maybe you should learn to be a bit more tolerant, adding and subtracting at the speed of light may come naturally to seasoned darts playing cunts but might not to someone who’s just ‘having a go’. I’m old school, can add, subtract, multiply and divide in my head but not fucking instantly, takes me more than a couple of milliseconds you know.

    • The “chalking” of a game of a game of darts (in order to play the winner in the next game) is akin to putting your 50p or £1 so you play the next game of pool. People who “can’t chalk” expect you to chalk for them. I’ve got no problem with people who chalk a bit more slowly than I do or make a few mistakes (which I still manage occasionally, possibly due to the amount of ale supped).
      Practice makes adequate and they generally get the hang of it fairly quickly.
      I suspect a lot of the problem is that they think they’ll embarrass themselves in front of their mates.
      Perhaps the pubs could have some beginners’ dart boards, no pesky doubles or trebles.

      • In my mind the smokey drinkey boozers are finished and we are left with a bunch of drug addled halfwits

  5. On the flight to my honeymoon in Cancun, I had the misfortune of sharing Business Class with Tony ‘Bullseye Cunt’ Green and his cunty kids. The whole brood were fucking ignorant, noisy, gobby cunts. Not once did he attempt to rein in the fucktards so in the end I had to give the cunts both barrels. The twat just sat there looking like explosive decompression would have solved the problem of his chav progeny. Annoyingly the twats were on the return flight too. Cunts!

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