Shappi Khorsandi


Another ‘comedienne’ worthy of mention is Shappi Khorsandi. Look her up and marvel at how the fuck she gets paid for what she does.

Utterly shite. No stage presence, She only survives at venues such as the Apollo where the audience is made up of middle class tossers that wouldn’t say boo to a goose let alone heckle. Get her down to a low-key gig with a predominently stag and hen audience, that’s where you find out if you can cut it. She’d be eaten alive and the bones spat out before she’d got past her first cheerless tale of being exiled from Iran.

Silly bint.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

27 thoughts on “Shappi Khorsandi

  1. Well Cunted Sir.

    A low key gig you say? How about sending her back in time to a Yorkshire workingman’s club. An opinionated gobby wog female who thinks she’s funny; what could possibly go wrong? That picture ↑↑ would be her initial pose as the crumpled bingo cards were thrown at her followed by: empty glasses, chairs, tables and the concert secretary complete with his dais ( platform t’workinclass). Or, just send her back in time. I thought of including a t00b video of the wheeltappers and shunters, but y’can find your own. Lazy Cunts.

  2. Yep, send her back to Iran. Along with that other, unfunny Iranian cunt, Omid Djalili. First though, they should be reported to trading standards. And then taken to a Sea Life centre and thrown into the shark tank. So, really, we should their remains back to Iran.

  3. Shitty Handshandy or whatever her name is, totally fucking unfunny, makes Jo Brand & Sarah Millican look funny.
    I saw the cunt on live at the apollo, she was saved by the edit on TV, she was fucking shite

  4. I would like to see this unfunny right-on cunt trumpet at Manning’s Embassy Club in the 70s or 80s… The silly tart would crap herself… I would then feed her to Bernard… She is all ‘Did you know I was a bird from Iran? Hey, I’m an Iranian woman, Me…’ A one trick pony, with a very shite trick at that… Not unlike that talent-free dwarf cunt, Jack Carroll and his neverending ‘jokes’ about disability…

  5. Saw an ad for that Spectre film today… Daniel Craig just does not even look right as James Bond… He looks like some Nazi movie villain from Raiders Of The Lost Ark… All that’s missing is the scar and the monocle… I hope this is his last outing as 007… He’s turned the world’s greatest spy into a dour, tantruming vengeful dwarf… I agree that Lewis Collins and Clive Owen should have been given a chance… But another was Ian Ogilvy… When he was doing Return Of The Saint he was considered, but Roger Moore decided to stay on ((for the dreadful run from For Your Eyes Only to A View To A Kill)…

    Only good bit about the Spectre trailer? Monica Bellucci… Fucking hell, I’d wear myself out with that… As old Clint Eastwood would say, Every which way but loose…

      • That’d work, he certainly looks the part of an evil megalomaniac. Two birds, one stone chance here: have him sat stroking Shappi Khorsandis’ pussy as he expects Mr Bond to die, or if he does go gay: tie dye. Just an evil thought.

    • Liam Neeson was offered Bond before Pierce Brosnan and would have walked straight in but Natasha Richardson, being one of those lefty Redgraves, had a strop and threatened to leave him if he took the part. Ever since her demise in a skiing accident (very 007!) Neeson has dropped out of doing “serious” films and just makes endless action movies, the first Taken movie being the best. I’ve been thinking long and hard about nominating Craig for a cunting plus Barbara Broccoli for the Dead Pool. Perhaps we could sacrifice her to Satan in a deal to get her Dad back…..

      • Liam Neeson is too old to play bond he is 63 , a proper bond should be anywhere from aged 28-39. Craig shouldn’t be bond either he is 47 for fuck sake they are pulling from the bottom of the barrel of Ian Fleming shite novels, end the franchise for once and for all but these money grabbing cunts knows people are stupid enough to shell out the dough. They should do a new movie adventures of poofter goatse

    • I don’t like Daniel Craig as James Bond, the guy’s too short and so ugly! I don’t understand why so many women fancy him. He looks like a Thunderbird’s puppet, ugh. I’ve been watching some episodes of ‘The Persuaders’ starring Roger Moore and Tony Curtis on youtube lately (anyone else remember that?) it has a brilliant theme tune by John Barry – what a genius that guy was! It reminded me that Roger Moore was rather a good Bond, he had wit, was tall and good looking.

      • Yeah, The Persuaders had a terrific theme tune, but it always reminds me how dire Roger Moore was as Bond. Those safari suits, those high-waisted flared trousers, that knitwear…

  6. The all New Gay Bond to star in the following remakes.

    The Spy who rimmed me
    Golden Japseye
    On Her Majesties Secret Predilections

  7. I have to agree reluctantly that she’s not funny, but she’s an atheist, not a muslim which is a definite point in her favour in my opinion.

  8. I used to work with this talentless Iranian cunt (Shappi Khorsandi) years ago, back in 1997 at Pell and Bales. She was arrogant, rude and thought she was some kind of movie star. Apparently, she shared a flat with some colleagues at Pell and Bales and fucked off without paying a penny in rent. A nasty bit of work, who got her break a comedy night at the now defunct Madam JoJos and that was due to a lot of wooly, middle class, politically correct wankers, with their lower middle class guilt conscious thought she should have been given a break due to her ethnicity. I remember back in 1979, when the Shah of Iran was deposed and Ayatollah Khomeni was installed in power. The Iranian middle classes were leaving in their droves, claimed ‘asylum’, mainly with the gullible UK. They were fine, just wanted to leave because the Ayatollah wanted to tax them all. Every Iranian I’ve met has been scum! More to come with so called ‘asylum’ seekers from Syria, get used to it!

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