These flea ridden parasites have become the chav’s teddy bear… Pricks actually watch these things in their own ‘Meerkat Soap’ (Meerkat Manor, for fuck’s sake!) and think they’re all cute because they squeak and stand up on two legs… If these little bastards were here in Blighty, people would hate them and be calling out Rentokill… The anthropomorphising of these vermin is also cuntery of the highest order…

There’s those dreadful adverts featuring Russian Meerkats (Jesus wept!)… A fucking talking Meerkat in a dressing gown and cravat (and I’d flush that baby one down the bog!)… And the shops and market stalls full of ornaments of these things dressed as Grenadier Guards, Napoleon, Elvis, you fucking name it… Anyone who has a dressed up Meerkat in their window is a complete cunt…

And anyone who says ‘Simples’ should have their cakehole filled with cement…

Nominated by: Norman