The Ministry of Defence

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In honour of Cpl Stewart McLaughlin, and the 1,000 Para’s who marched in London yesterday, I’m nominating the Ministry of Defence, and the Government, for an intergalactic cunting.

For those who don’t know, Cpl McLaughlin was an NCO with B Company 3 Para. He was killed in the Battle of Mount Longdon, during the Falklands war, but not before carrying out several acts of spectacular bravery whilst leading several assaults on the Argentine position, one of which involved him shouting the immortal line, “follow me lads, I’m bulletproof”. His actions provided a much needed morale boost to the men in his company, and they pressed on with their attack. Unfortunately, he was killed later in the battle by artillery fire whilst being helped to an aid station, having been seriously wounded in a mortar attack.

The mortar inflicted wound that Cpl McLaughlin suffered, was received whilst taking part in an attack on Argentine position, that was lead by Sgt Ian McKay of 3 Para. During the attack, Sgt McKay and a private were killed. Sgt McKay was later awarded a posthumous VC.

After the battle, his CO wrote a citation, but due to the fact there was only one typewriter available, and a time imposed for typing up citations, Cpl McLaughlin’s was never typed out and therefore not accepted. In September of 2013, General Sir Hew Pike, who was the commander of 3 Para in the Falklands wrote a new citation that placed Cpl McLaughlin’s actions “firmly in the vicinity of a VC”. That’s right, his actions on that night were so instrumental to his Company that they were considered worthy of our nation’s highest award for valour.

The MOD and the Government, however, disagree. For 33 years successive pen pushing arseholes have continuously refused to even consider ending this injustice, and awarding the medal he not only deserves, but has more than earned. A recent ‘investigation’ has allegedly found that there was no evidence that a citation was even written. The problem is, a number of men who served and fought with Cpl McLaughlin, and witnessed his actions that nigh, have said that nobody from the Army or the MOD has ever spoken to them. That includes his former CO. Basically, the MOD carried out a bullshit investigation that only ever intended to justify their decision to refuse an award, because they didn’t want to admit that they were wrong.

On the 3rd of July 2015, around 1,000 Paras, their families, and supporters marched through London to Downing St, where Cpl McLaughlin’s son delivered a petition to Cameron. I have no doubt that the second Cpl McLaughlin’s son was out the door, posh twat threw the petition in the shredder. He’s spent the past five years destroying our military, why would he give a single fuck about a far better man than Cameron could dream of being, who died whilst serving his country? Likewise, those fat fuckers at the top of the MOD. All THEY care about is themselves. Their main preoccupation is ensuring that they have as big a pension as possible, whilst working out how much expenses money they can get away with fiddling.

None of them have ever done anything remotely deserving of an award, yet the MOD is filled with Sirs, Dames, OBE’s, MBE’s and CBE’s. Not one of those fuckers is fit to lick dog shit from the soles of Cpl McLaughlin’s boots. Yet they have the audacity to refuse to recognise a man who DOES deserve an award. They are cowards. They are scum. They and their ilk are the reason that this country has turned into a shithole. Because they’re the cunts who made it a shithole.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

20 thoughts on “The Ministry of Defence

  1. “due to the fact there was only one typewriter available, and a time imposed for typing up citations, Cpl McLaughlin’s was never typed out and therefore not accepted”

    That is the kind of spectacular cuntitude at which British bureaucracy excels.

    Well cunted, sir.

       8 likes

    • I think there’s some kind of Bureaucrat academy, which takes intelligent young men and women, and then somehow removes their intelligence. The MOD was useless and incompetent when I joined the army in ’89, and they were exactly the same when I left in 2007. Eight years on, nothing has changed.

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  2. I have the dubious honour of being one of the few British squadies who were sent to the Falklands war and never got to see the Islands, close up, let alone setting foot on them. I was requisitioned into the Welsh Guards, by the Catering Corps and was expecting to do my bit as field cook for them somewhere on the Islands. We sailed there on the QE2 with the Scots Guards and Gurkha Rifles. On arrival the troops, except our Catering Corps, were disembarked to the Islands or used the ship as standby base. The fucking navy commandeered me and my cookie squad to stay on board and help cook for the ships crew and/or help with expected incoming wounded. Although we stayed out of range of Argie aircraft, we were all shit scared of possible Argie subs and any Argie long range Island based exocet missiles.

    I quickly learned only the Para’s were doing the actual front line fighting with back up from the RAF airplanes. The 700 odd Para survivors travelled back to the UK with us on the QE2. With thanks I kept them Para’s happy, on their return journey, with double portions of steak and chips, which was the food they loved most.

    So with hindsight, I feel a right wanker being later awarded my “active service medal” for taking part in the Falklands campaign. Bit of an insult for the Para’s who had rightly deserved all their campaign medals.

       10 likes

    • Look at it another way mate, you SERVED this country. I used to engage in good natured piss taking with people from other Corps/Regiments, but I’ve always had the utmost respect for anyone who put on a military uniform.

      I’ve been in combat, and although you may feel that you missed out or didn’t do enough back in the Falklands, trust me, you’re job was every bit as essential an infantryman.

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      • They do say an army marches on it’s stomach.
        Just don’t serve our boys cous cous or fucking garlic bread!

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      • Appreciate your sentiments, QDM. To give you all a clue about my age, I also done 2 back to back “active service” tours of N.Ireland in the mid 70s. In regiments of the Royal Artillery.

        For reader entertainment and cunting of the IRA and the BBC scaremongering news, I give this anecdotal story about my time in the Army during the N.Ireland troubles.

        I earned my first promotion stripe “peace keeping” them ungrateful Irish catholic and IRA cunts in the Bogside of Derry. On nearly every street foot or mobile patrol we were assaulted by teenage yobs throwing stones and catapult pebbles or marbles at us. Then there were the riots, at least one a week. This was where I earned my troop reputation as “popgun cookie” (an army popgun is a single cartridge defense weapon that fires 3 inch long plastic bullets, effective and dangerous up to 100 yards range, and lethal within 5 yards). I could pick off a moving person target at 100 yards in the dark, and I shot scores of stone throwing and petrol-bottle-bomber fuckers during them troubles.

        In one particular violent street riot, when they fire bombed and destroyed the Derry Post Office Delivery and Sorting buildings, I accidently shot a media press cameraman. With all the confusion and excitement of the riot, and me high on adrenalin I recklessly aimed a 25 yard popgun shot at what I thought was a couple of rioting yobs. Saw my target go down in agony, and so did half the mates in my troop. My troop sergeant also witnessed what I had done and punching me hard in the chest said: “switch on you fucking cookie idiot”.

        To cut a longer story short, next day the regiment officers held an enquiry about the injured media cameraman. ‘One of our cameramen, filming yesterdays riots in Londonderry, was shot with a rubber bullet by a British soldier and sustained a serious groan injury’, was the BBC complaint. Our troop were all individually questioned and we all, including Sarge, swore we didn’t see, know or how the cameraman got injured. ‘He is mistaken to think a soldier shot him with a popgun’, we all explained ‘It was definitively them stone throwing rioters that caused his injury’ we suggested. And the officers believed us!

        From that day on I was nicknamed “Popgun Cookie” by my artillery army mates.

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  3. Great posts by QDM and Entopy….

    The Britain we live in now chooses to acknowledge and honour twats like James Corden and Lenny Henry before those who served in battle for their country….

    Men like Cpl Stewart McLaughlin will be overlooked, but you can bet your life that fucking England Women’s team will be lavished with OBE’s or something similar next New Year’s Eve… This is our country, ladies and gentlemen….

       10 likes

      • These cunts who think third place is something to shout about? That’s why no England team of this generation will ever win a tournament… Third place is success? Fuck me…

        The BBC (naturally) lap it up…. They will probably make the tuppence flickers XI BBC Sports Personality team of the year….

        So the “Lionesses” finished third and then celebrated… They actually partied after a failure…. One can imagine the scene: pissed on cider, WKD and sambuca, squawking ‘I Will Survive’ and ‘Angels (by that Robbie cunt)’ while stood on the tables and then crying in the bogs about an own goal….

        And if that bald cunt, Prince Willam gushes about the Lionesses once more, someone should put him in a cage with one that hasn’t been fed for a week…

           6 likes

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