Mime

Le_the__atre_de_la_pluie_by_UniqueNudes

Had occasion to spend a couple orf days in Berlin on business. First to admit I cannot stand the krauts but do like to get slaughtered on a spot orf weiss bier. A simple enough pleasure at my age you may think but not a bit orf it. As soon as the fraulein deposited me tankard orf Goering’s finest I am surrounded by a commando orf mime cunts. White flat caps, white gloves, white face, the whole fucking schmeer.

Bastard kraut cunt shoves his fissog into mine and gives me the old garlic sausage breath so I give him the old double Churchill straight in the mush “Fuck orf cunt”. Problem is, and this will mark your card, the krauts think this kind orf caper is “funnee”. Some fat bint with black buttons on her tits gives me a leaflet. Apparently the whole orf the EU is hosting a festival orf mime, universal language bollocks and crap.

Cunters, stay out orf Europe for your own sanity until these mime cunts crawl up their own arseholes and vanish in a puff orf fart.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

16 thoughts on “Mime

  1. Those weird looking fuckers all whited up and on stilts get on my knackers… As do those miming cunts who give you a lollipop then expect some money for it… Then there are the 80s robotic ‘Tik & Tok (remember those cunts?)’ tossers…. And most of them are (as Sir Limply says) Krauts and from the behind the iron curtain and all that… There’s enough of them speaking (not English) all over town these days, we don’t fucking want it filled with annoying non-speaking ones as well…

  2. The last time I put on Afro wig & got blacked up I was called a racist cunt.So why is it ok to get whited up?Double fucking standards.

  3. In the summer months these so called “Mime Artists” infest the main shopping square precincts of affluent university towns and cities. Most of these mime-jerks are really unemployed university graduates of rich parents. They solicit passers by to give some small change in return for some daft theatrical mime art entertainment. They all slap on heavy make-up (usually white colour and full face) and dress up in funny clothes depicting (usually) historical characters.

    When they perform they look like funny 3D people characters in a cartoon about mysterious invisible objects blocking the way forward or sideways. Mum or dad feel guilty not to give the mime artist beggar a minimum 50p if their little kiddies in tow love the show and clap.

    Some of these mime beggars can’t even mime, so they try the statue routine. Sprayed from head to foot in gold or silver paint, they stand rigid still without moving any body parts for as long as possible. These type of university mime twerps don’t make much money acting the statue because, unlike ignoring the real town statues, nobody is fooled by the statue mime and ignores them too.

    • “Some of these mime beggars can’t even mime, so they try the statue routine. Sprayed from head to foot in gold or silver paint, they stand rigid still without moving any body parts for as long as possible”

      Well said, Entopy, the statue cunts are possibly even more offensive than the fifth-rate Marcel Marceau imitators. Don’t give them money, just punch the cunts.

      • I agree instead play a mime yourself take out a farthing or a penny hand it too him but drop instead then start kicking it and kicking it and bonus points if the mime trys to pick it up kick him in the balls or cunt punt her then everybods happy . Shite Mimes could be traced back to greek times and died down after the fall of Rome it was picked up by French performance art cunts , heroin addicts and drunks who need extra cash who don’t mind being humiliated.

      • I was in Galway one afternoon, and a drunk says to me, “I’ll make him move, watch”…so I did.
        He walked up to the statue and gave him a boot in the bollocks.
        Well worth €1, I thought, as I threw it in the cap.

    • It’s those Peruvian cunts that boil my piss. All they fucking do is mime to their latest pre recorded CD which they flog at a price commensurate with an original lost Beatles album. Having said that they operate a massive well oiled machine all over the country with a ruthlessness which one can only admire.

  4. Once upon a time myself and a friend from the valley’s were in New York. On route to get the ferry to liberty island my mate asked me to take a holiday snap of him with the big green french statue in the backdrop. As any good mate would do I obliged, then and only then did we see the cunt dressed as the statue of liberty woop and demand ! yes fucking demand $10 dollars for taking a photograph on his patch.Well I guess you might be ahead of me already on this one my welsh chum weighed in at about 19 stones and told him in Welsh first to fuck right off then for the benefit of the whole city to fuck off back to Mexico . Then the cunt could not speak english , spanish let alone welsh he descended in to mime pretending to cry by rubbing his eyes. Another nano second in my welsh friends firing line the cunt would have had something to cry about.

  5. To be honest I’m ambivalent about mime, like most “street theatre” is seems too silly to get annoyed about. However, I like fat birds and that photo gives me the horn like you would not believe.

    • “I like fat birds and that photo gives me the horn like you would not believe”

      There’s a joke in there somewhere about being trapped in her glass box…

      • The bird in that picture looks like some strange Adele meets Leo Sayer tribute act…

  6. #ImInWorkJeremy – What, you want a medal for it you Doctor Cunts? Is £100K a year basic plus over time not enough for you, you bunch of whining martyr cunts?

    If you don’t like being an NHS Doctor, feel free to fuck off elsewhere. See how much you get paid elsewhere in the developed world, because it won’t be any where near what you get from the NHS.

    Whats that? Liability insurance? What, you mean I actually have to insure myself against malpractice elsewhere in the world? No, didn’t think so you puss filled whinge bag cunts. Continue to work in the NHS, safe in the knowledge that you can dispatch all manner of taxpayers with your negligence and almost never have to face the consequences of your action.

    Oh, how I would love to live in the gilded cage that NHS Doctors do. I don’t see many of them going of to work in say, America, do you? Or even France? What about the Far east? You see, they won’t have the fuckers on account of the massive ego and entitlement these cunts have, with little ability to function and above all perform in the real world.

    NHS Doctors: CUNTS.

    In fact they are such cunts, they make Harold Shipman look professional. He actually set out to kill folk and was good at it.

  7. There are far more irritating cunts in the world right now.

    Like the pair of Roma pikeys dressed up as what is meant to look like Mickey and Minnie rat (the costumes are that shit) outside Piccadilly circus station.

    The clueless cunts don’t seem to get the fact that there is no relevance of a pair of Disney characters loitering outside the Nespresso shop.

    Probably why they go back to their park bench skint.

    The cunts

  8. They should all be rounded up, suspended in a dungeon by their ankles and the helpful advice painted on the opposite wall… “LEARN THE WORDS!”

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