Selfies

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The “Selfie” is a narcissistic obsession with taking as many photos of yourself and posting them on social media sites is typical of a generation who is obsessed with the idea that anyone actually gives a fuck about them.

From the fuckwits of celebs whose intimate selfies manage to “accidentally” get uploaded to the web (and who subsequently bleat about their humiliation), to the increasing horses of silly little teens whose careless selfies attract the attention of paedos like wasps to a jam jar, the whole ludicrous cult is just a symptom of a generation who no longer gives a toss about anything but their own selfish needs.

In moments of cynicism, I’m convinced that the internet will one day crash under the weight of social media spawned crap like this and the last thing we will see on our dying search engines is the grinning face of some spotty teen grinning at the camera with a banana stuffed up his rectum!

Nominated by: Lez

24 thoughts on “Selfies

    • I saw my first one of those last week.

      Four retarded student fuckwits sitting in a restaurant taking selfies with their food.

      They spent more time with their mobile on a stick and saying ‘like’ after every other word than they did eating lunch.

      Sad sad cunts.

    • Funny you should say that as I’ve just added it to Shitipedia over at mine. Should appear in the next day or two unless something more interesting pops up. Not much chance of that the way the election is going at the moment!

  1. Good one Lez. And well timed too. I was actually going to nominate selfies myself today. I recently got stuck at a set of traffic lights, behind an arsehole of a woman who thought that being sat at red light would be the perfect time to take not one, but FIVE selfies. I mean, why? Who the fuck is going to care that you’re sitting in a stationary vehicle, at a set of traffic lights that are on red? She was actually trying to take a sixth selfie when the lights changed. And I had to sound my car’s horn, because the thick bitch hadn’t noticed the green light.

  2. So today, I’m nominating an entire country. Turkey. Next Friday (24th April) will mark the 100th anniversary of one of the First World War’s worst atrocities. The genocide of over one million Armenians by the Turks, who back then were still the Ottoman Empire. The reason I’m nominating Turkey for a cunting is because instead of facing up to this crime and apologising for it, the Turks not only refuse to acknowledge their responsibility for some of the most heinous murders in history, they actually deny it even happened. Despite the eyewitness testimony and other evidence.

    The reason that the Ottomans gave for slaughtering the Armenians, was that there was a war on, and the Armenians were traitors. But, as various witnesses commented at the time, the villages in which the Armenians lived were nowhere any battlefield. The true reason for this genocide, is that the Armenians were devout Christians.

    One young girl, who survived the genocide told of hearing her father being tortured and murdered by Turkish “soldiers”, whilst she hid. When she came out of her hiding place, hours later. He’d had horseshoes nailed to his feet, his hands had been nailed horizontally to a wooden board with big iron spikes, he had been cut open from his abdomen to his chest, his genitals had been cut off, and he had been decapitated.

    In one village, the entire muslim population watched, and laughed, as Armenian women were forced to dance. Any who fell, or were too slow, were whipped, as were their children, who were forced to clap in rhythm. Eventually, they women were doused in kerosene and set alight. Other witnesses spoke of seeing the bodies of pregnant women who had had their abdomens cut open, and their unborn babies placed in their hands. One witness wrote about seeing peasants attacking Armenian men with scythes, saws and spades.

    There is so much documented evidence of this atrocity. Yet the Turkish government not only refuses to acknowledge that the genocide took place, they actually brought in a law, making it illegal to “insult Turkishness”. So strong is their desire to deny this atrocity, in the face of irrefutable evidence, that the Turkish government went into full victim mode earlier this week, Pope Francis described the atrocity as; ‘the first genocide of the 20th century’. The Turkish government slammed the ‘inflammatory’ remarks, and accuse the Holy Father of spreading ‘hatred and animosity’ with ‘unfounded allegations’. They also recalled their ambassador to the Vatican. They would prefer that we all shut the fuck up about it.

    The true reason that that Turks don’t want to admit that this atrocity occurred, is that if they did, they would inevitably face claims for reparations, and also demands for the return of land and wealth stolen while the genocide was taking place. To me, this is not only cowardly, it displays an appalling arrogance, as well as a being dishonest and spectacularly dishonourable. Had this been the other way around, and Christians had savagely tortured and murdered over one million muslims, the Turks, and muslims everywhere would be screaming for justice. And this is a country that has ambitions of joining the EU. A country whose government, intelligence and security services and police and military, MAY be sympathetic to the likes of ISIS.

    The fact is, most Turks, like most muslims, are an incredibly violent people who are also mentally and emotionally unstable. Until they face up to the fact that their ancestors committed one of the worst crimes of the twentieth century, they can expect any other nation to respect them. Also, they cannot claim to be a modern, civilised society. One more thing. The Turks traditionally hold a commemoration of Gallipoli on the 25th of April. This year, that commemoration is being held on the 24th.

    • Couple of typing errors, as usual. Turkey, CAN’T expect any other nation to respect them.

      One day, I will learn to type. Today is not that day.

      • Deported from Istanbul in 1994 for basically doing fuck alll…
        I remember Galatassaray. I rember the coffin inside the stadium.
        I remember ‘Welcome To Hell!’ I remember the Turkish police.
        Fuck them all! Turkish cunts!

      • Fully support this cunting Quickdraw. An abomination that the perpertrators of the 20th C first genocide refuse to admit it even happened, let alone apologise for it. If that wasn’t bad enough, they’re all bummers.

  3. Why is it that Islam, the so called faith of peace, is at the root of some of the worst atrocities?
    Not defending Christianity, that particular faith carried out enough religious crimes of its own (and still does)

    • As I was typing that nomination, it suddenly occurred me that the atrocities committed a hundred years ago, are exactly the same as the atrocities being carried out by ISIS and other muslim groups today. And I’ll bet if you did the research, you’ll the same atrocities were carried out 500 years ago.

      • Good point QD. Ironic that our Black Brothers have taken to Islam as a religion and way orf life that will free them from their white oppressors. Muslim traders have for hundreds of years practised the slave trade with a ferocious intensity and total disregard for what we would consider basic human values. Tends to be forgotten in the history orf slavery.

  4. It isn’t just the Armenians who have suffered at the hands of the turks. Bulgarians, Cypriots and greeks have all been victims of atrocities such as genocides and mass rapes- All of which Turkey tries to similarly brush under one of their over rated rugs.

    • Proof positive Sir Stoke, that the SNP are such cunts, they’d even use a selfie of Nicola Sturgeons fat arse to carry out their election campaign in the sky

  5. What bends my head is these cabbage headed celebrities who take these so-called selfies of themselves in the billy bolocks, and then go blubbing to all and sundry about ‘Privacy’ and bringing in the FBI … What these cunt trumpets should realise is if you don’t actually do any of these selfies in the buff, then they won’t be able to be found or hacked… It’s simple enough even for the dizziest Hollywood airhead to understand…

    Then again, another annoying aspect is these tightarsed movie bastatds must really have crap phones… Because the naughty selfies are always such poor quality… Thus thwarting any chance of a real eyefull…..

    • That deserves a cunting all on its own. Celebrities that take pictures of them semselves nude in Mirrors, or lose a secret porn tape, then crying in their beer when a geek cracks the Cloud and puts it online.

      What also gets me is why is it that A So many Celebs keep nude pics of them selves and B They all seemed to be kept on I Cloud?

      Probably just another stunt for these cunts to keep their face, and other parts they hope people to see, but then dont, when its all cracked.

      • Thats cause those “secret” sex tapes aren’t secret, they plan to sell their video ahead of time its attention whoring at its finest. Also some of those pics are touched up on which is more proof they were intentionally leaked.

  6. Falcao is a cunt… He couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo… He couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a Sherman Tank…

  7. Iain Duncan Smith is ripe for a fresh cunting over his latest notion of rebranding the term “zero hours contracts”.
    It would appear that the (failed) fuckwit cannot grasp the concept that dressing up what is in effect, a retrograde employment strategy and prone to abuses by employers who do not have to offer the security of employment to workers. Calling it “flexible working” or, as that vile hag Esther Mc Vey termed it “Enabling hours contracts”, is like polishing a turd.
    What this useless waste of space appears not to understand, is that anyone on a zero hours contract will find it very difficult to get a mortgage, a loan or any other facility that requires a secure job.
    Redolent of the days of piece work, but there again, a return to the workhouses has always been the dream of the Tory party

    • I don’t understand where the ‘zero hours contract’ blew up from. With the modern employment world these days proliferated with recruitment company cunts, it was inevitable that this would happen. Half the building trade back in 2002-2003 were employed by agencies anyway, who knows what the figure is today!

      I used to moonlight as an agency driver when I was on leave back in ’97 and ’98, sometimes you got called 3 times a day, sometimes you did not hear from them for weeks. I fail to understand why its being dressed up as anything other than temp or seasonal labour.

      It seems to me that some cunt has just hung a new name on the age old ‘non permanent’ or ‘relief staff’ position.

      Why can’t they just call a cunt, a cunt?

      • For me its a complete pain in the arse. Hours wasted recruiting good members of staff with the skills to deliver a subject, only to lose them after a term because our place will not give them a part time contract. I spend more time ringing up our part time pool staff to cover lessons and the good ones get pissed off with zero hours arrangements and go elsewhere because they have families to consider.

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