I’d like the local council to explain their reasons for planning road repairs and extensions / “improvements”.

Firstly they spend at least 2 weeks cordoning off and putting diversions into place, which causes mayem with rush hour traffic. (Steveie Wonder could plan these diversions better, as if they don’t necessitate you detouring at least 20 miles, they route you through the roughest council estates, giving the local “migrant workers” the opportunity to steal your tyres as you drive through.

Road works “planned time” is material for a comedy sketch. I’ve learned that you calculate the actual time of disruption by a formula which involves multiplying the actua planned weeks by a factor of 5 then adding on a day for each “white hat” on the job. Factor in two weeks for “inclement weather”, where they cannot do the job and add on 10% for lost time on Fridays, when they all bugger off early.
(Don’t be fooled by them working at weekends.. this is not work, its a religious festival of the church of the road digger, where they drink coffee in the portakbin, read dirty mags and smoke fags.

THEN, just as they can procrastinate no longer, and the work is complete, you can guarantee that they will leave all the contraflows, diversions and bollards in place for at least another two weeks. Not because they need to, but because its too much trouble to remove them.

Lazy cunts!

Nominated by: Lez

I would like to cunt roadworks the council or whichever other cunt is associated with the whole fucking process.

For weeks if not months I have had to travel for half an hour longer each time I want to get on the motorway. I wouldn’t mind if there was a noticeable difference to the road either, but each time I drive past nothing has fucking changed apart from where the overpaid high visibility “workers” are standing. I almost missed a flight today because some twat decided rush hour the day after schools break up is a good time to start a road widening scheme.

I am no expert on architecture, engineering or swiping public coffers but even I can see that was a fucking stupid thing to do. The iceing on the cake of cuntishness is that my tax payer pound sterling is paying for all this.

I really hate this country at times.

Nominated by: Cuntocracy