Lance Armstrong

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Lance Armstrong Is A Cunt

Sliding out of the twat of a gullible woman who either forgets or never knew the name of the demon who spawned this lying, bullying cunt, Lance Armstrong has succeeded in achieving several goals in his whole useless cunting life; giving bored cunts a reason to actually get excited about the world’s second most pathetic sport (after curling), cheating his ass off during seven Tours De France in that country full of arrogant short Napoleonic cunts, bullying poor cunts like Greg LeMonde and Betsy and Frankie Andreu when they told the truth about cheating in cycling and costing them millions in earnings, corrupting cunting cycling officials into busting other two wheel obsessed cunts like Floyd Landis for daring to cheat while on a team other than this evil cunt’s US Postal Service team that named after an dying, irrelevant bureaucracy that employs fat, useless cunts who regularly steal shit right from Americans’ mail, using Sheryl Crow as his emotional pillar while fighting nut cancer that this cunt gave himself after doping himself up with every performance enhancing drug known to man and beast, neglecting that same washed up cunt when she got cancer of her own, boning one of those emotionally fucked up Olsen twins with his one remaining nut, giving false hope to bald, vomiting kids in cancer wards and then spilling his guts to that overpaid and over-worshipped twat, Oprah Winfrey whose cunt probably looks like my wallet.

Nominated by: TIG

15 thoughts on “Lance Armstrong

  1. Sheryl Crow s fucking shite… I remember working in a crap job 1994 and being tortured by that awful song (‘All I Wanna Do’)… The local radio station played that crap on the hour every hour… I still can’t listen to the daft tart even now… I remember that BBC ad that featured Elvis and a ‘fantasy backing band’….There was Marvin Gaye, Jimmy Page, Stevie Wonder and Keith Moon… Can’t argue about any of those… But Presley playing with Noel Gallagher (who was included) and ‘on bass… Sheryl Crow’?!? Fuck off! Oh, my sides…

  2. All cyclists are cunts! With their idiot helmets and lycra gear and cunting water bottles.

    • Especially STUDENT cunts on bikes! Try living/working in Cambridge or Oxford where students ride bikes en masse while using smartphones and paying no attention at all to the road. The more of these cunts that are killed in traffic accidents the better.

      • I can tolerate the poor bugger who needs to cycle to work, but the lycra clad avocado headed Sunday morning shitbags, who monopolise the road like a 1970s jazz band deserve to be slaughtered.
        Even worse however, are all the mindless “off-roaders” who treat the local forest like some rally track without any consideration for others.
        Cunts should be made to take out 3rd party insurance before their kamikazee road antics.

    • Fuck you!
      Groups of cyclists hogging the whole road thinking they are in the pro Peloton are cunts.
      Ordinary cyclists are demonized because of those cunts!

      • I love the way cyclists ignore traffic lights. One nearly knocked me down on a crossing the other day. The light was bright red and the cunt made no attempt to stop. I yelled abuse at him but he didn’t hear me because the thick bastard was listening to his iPod…

        We should exterminate fuckers like that!

        • You are generalising, just because 1 stupid cunt flagrantly disregarded the traffic lights and almost ran you over is not an indictment of EVERY cyclist.
          The same could be said of drivers, I got swerved in to a curb on my cycle by some cunt in a car who jumped the lights, it was 3am in the morning so he was probably drunk and I ended up with a fractured scaphoid, 2 cracked ribs, broken tibia and a concussion.
          what a surprise that all the CCTV cameras in the area were were conveniently not working and as a result I had to take 8 weeks off work and my £1500 carbon bike was scrapped.
          But hey, do you hear me spouting all drivers should have on-board cameras in-car or should be killed? NO – cause I am a rational person who can differentiate between a cunt and all car drivers.

      • Cyclists use the road, they get bloody cycle lanes built for them, they are perfectly capable of causing damage and or injury through their stupidity of riding 3 or more abreast, so, what is so wrong with the fuckers having to take out insurance?
        To which , you can also add the horse riding fraternity, who cause mayhem on the roads (as well as, I might add, their habit of shitting everywhere)

        • Totally agree. They should have to pay insurance and should have to pass a proficiency test which gives them a certificate entitling them to ride on the road. Uncertified cyclists should not be allowed on the road. Then they should be treated like people with driving licences – break the law and be fined or be banned from the highway. These cunts show a flagrant disregard for the rules of the road.

          …and I’ve just finished watching the debate. The SNP are DEFINITELY cunts…

          • There are only two certainties in life. One being the fact we all die sooner or later and the other that the SNP are cunts

  3. Twenty years ago a London cycle courier had a life expectancy of seven years.

    God knows what it is now, but I would have thought considerably less than that.

    Now consider if you will the average ‘I’m saving the whales by cycling the wrong way down a one way street’ fucktard.

    They have a life expectancy of around 18 months.

    I like to think of it in purely Darwinian terms.

    Your skull is not harder than the front of that left turning Scania lorry that you just undertook.

  4. Lance Armstrong is a cunt, but he is only a cunt becuase of his failure to admit he doped when everyone knew he did, but to be fair the whole Peloton are on it, especially back in the 90’s.
    They were all on EPO, a hormone which increases white blood cells in the blood, unfortunately the side effect of this drug is an insanely lowered heart beat, most of the pros would have to wear heart monitors at night which would set off an alarm when their heart rate got too low, they would then get woken up and have to get on the turbo trainer to get their heart rates up, there are even cases of riders dying in their sleep (which is why they started wearing heart rate monitors at night)

    Armstrong is a cunt, but don’t forget they were ALL on it back then, there is no way any human could output 800w climbing Alp Du Huez for the whole climb (that’s over 9 watts per kg of body weight) considering the average fit person could possibly do 4 watts a kg for about 60 seconds max, it is obvious he was on EPO

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