Historical inaccuracy [2]

Braveheart

Cunts who are under the fuckwitted impression that the Battle of Culloden was an England v Scotland affair historically ignorant. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It was the Battle of the Boyne part 2 with British forces containing many lowland Scots arraigned against Catholic Jacobites many of whom were foreign. Indeed the same ignoramuses are also completely unaware that the majority of the crew of Nelsons HMS Victory at Trafalgar were Scottish sailors from Leith. But then again why let the truth get in the way of bigotry.

Nominated by: Mid Life Crisis Actor

35 thoughts on “Historical inaccuracy [2]

  1. My own current favourite is the way the Crusades are brought up everytime some bearded freak with a Koran and small penis shoots the fucking place up. Clearly, pontificate the talking heads of the 24 hour news channels, Christianity is just as violent as … Blah, blah, blah, complete bollocks, Islam is so fucking peaceful, etc, etc, yawn. And always forgetting that the Crusades were an emergency response to a Muslim invasion of the Byzantine Empire.

    And the SNP are cunts.

    • Specifically the crusades were a response to the TURKISH invasion of the Byzantine Empire. If the crusades were a response to Islam then by your logic/lack thereof, the invasions of Afghanistan/Iraq were a response to Islam. I am a pedantic cunt, mu apologies.

      • You are absolutely correct that it was a Turkish invasion of Byzantium that sparked the First Crusade. However, that is not how they are used/misused by the apologists of Islamonazism. The Crusades are used as an example of violence in the name of Christianity than somehow justifies/excuses violence in the name of Islam.

        Bin Laden and other assorted owners of microscopic penises have repeatedly claimed religious justification for their attacks on the U.S. and other non-Islamic folks. Therefore, one could argue that the attacks on Afghanistan/Iraq WERE a response to a particular form of Islam.

        The above may or may not be an absolute load of bollocks. Unlike the aforementioned owners of disturbingly tiny cocks, I do not have a hotline to the Creator of the Universe so my ideas come from my own mammalian brain. However, I am pretty sure that…

        The SNP are cunts.

    • Shit I upvoted myself by accident. Please, call me a cunt but I promise I’m not Dave in disguise.

      Now I’m off to my disabled toilet.

      The SNP are cunts.

    • Ah, Ridley Scott’s “historical” epic Kingdom of Heaven, a film notable for being more historically inaccurate than Braveheart. Praised as one of the finest historical epics of modern times, in reality Kingdom of Heaven is a massive cunt.

      The whole film is one long love-letter to Islam, portraying the Christians as boorish extremists who only want to kill kill kill, and the Muslims as enlightened progressives, desperate to live in peace with their hairy-arsed neighbours across the Jordan.

      There are just so many things wrong with that film’s telling of history, from its attempt to make the crusader states look like faction-ridden hell holes (when in actual fact the Kingdom of Jerusalem was much more stable than its Muslim neighbours, and Muslim peasants there fared better then they did in Muslim-ruled territory) to its portrayal of Europe as a backward 3rd-world toilet full of dumb yokels (when in actual fact European agriculture was considerably more advanced than that in the Middle East at the time, a fact bourn out by contemporary Muslim accounts of the advanced farming the Europeans brought with them to the Holy Land).

      We could go into the gross over-simplification of the motives and actions of various Christian leaders such as Reynald de Chatillon and Guy de Lusignan, but the worst (and most telling) mis-portrayal of all characters is that of Saladin, who is portrayed as an enlightened leader tolerant of all religions, when in reality he was an implacable opponent of Christendom, who dedicated his whole life to jihad against the Crusaders and wasted no opportunity to launch raids and even invasions of his Christian neighbours.

      Yes, if you want a film that over-simplifies history, insults our cultural and religious heritage, and goes out of its way to arse-lick Islam and its lily-livered PC apologists at every turn Kingdom of Heaven is for you!

      Oh, and politicians of stripes are cunts.

      • I meant “politicians of all stripes are cunts” at the end there.

        I’m such a cunt.

  2. History has a way of being remembered that suits the particular reader and fundamentally, nobody really gives a toss as to the exact facts.
    Islam in particular has a way of refusing to accept their part in the crusades, the invasion of Spain in the 6th Century and their incursions into France at the same time, Cyprus , Georgia and Crete.
    As far as cruelty is concerned, they are just as bad as the Christians though, both religions are composed of cunts.
    and yes…the SNP are indeed cunts.

    • Nice one, Mr Lez. I encourage all contributors to end their posts with the same words: “And the SNP are cunts.” A bit like “Je suis Charlie” a few months ago. Christ, what happened to that? Was it banned for being, whisper it, racist?

      And the SNP are cunts.

      • Apparently, Funny You Should Say That is proposing a proper cunting of the SNP. I look forward to that as I have a suitable picture of the Virgin Sturgeon waiting in the wings…

        • Please promise me this Photoshopping does not show Sturgeon nude, or in compromising sexual congress Dioclese…
          I had to sleep with one eye open after the last one you did

          • Indeed, Lez… The thought of Sturgeon and Merkel together is the stuff of nightmares…

    • I’m sorry mate but in a thread about historical inaccuracy, a quick google search would show you are full of shit. Muhammad died in 632………… the 7th century, the Iberian Peninsula was conquered by moors in the 8th century and the first crusade (which was aimed at the Holy Land, not Spain) started in 1095 which was practically the turn of the 12th century.

      If that is a direct response to the spread of Islam into Christendom the they were slow as fuck (that’s a common Christian refrain and I merely assumed you just recycled it hence my response).

      You are also wrong about Christianity and Islam “BEING” just as bad as each other. Christianity may have been pretty bad once but it went through it’s schism, crusades, inquisitions, persecutions, witch hunts, reformation and the fucking churches keep reforming (what with ordaining female Bishops in the CofE now) . So there is no current parallel between them at all.

      As Sam Harris put it – “Comparing Christianity and Islam because they are both religions is like comparing American Football with Golf. They are both sports but the only thing they have in common is breathing”. Genius.

      No such things changed have happened or ever could happen within the evil death cult known as Islam because it is set up in such a way so as it is impossible to do so. Where is the Pope of Islam who can merely wake up one morning and decide what is today’s dogma? I’m dying to meet that lazy cunt.

      I hate Islam as much as the next rational-thinking atheist but you don’t get to ignore facts just because they suit your narrative…… whatever that may be.

      • Oh yeah forgot to say……….. if the crusades are a direct and justified response to events which took place over 400 years prior then we in Britain are fucked. Maybe those lefty, socialist cunts are onto something with their white, imperial guilt!

      • as bad as each other‘ – yes, I’d say so.

        All religions are superstitious dogma that have given the human race the excuse to killing each other for thousands of years. If we didn’t have religion, we’d have to find another reason for murdering each other.

        Religion has no place in the modern world but we’re too stupid and power mad to come to terms with the fact. They’re all a bunch of steaming fucking arrogant hypocritical cunts. For an example, compare Mother Teresa and the Pope. I’ve been to her mission in Calcutta and she practiced what she preached until she died by living in poverty – and then they built a fucking great big tomb for her. She’d be turning in her grave under it. And who ordered it built? The bloody Vatican – a private city state answerable to nobody and paying no taxes. The Catholic church is one of the richest organisations on the planet. Sell off the treasures in their vaults and churches and use the money to feed the starving then I might have some respect for them.

        Here’s an idea – let’s fire off all the nukes and see if God intervenes to save his chosen species…

      • You are a pedantic cunt. I made a Typographical error that should have said the 8th not 6th century. It does not make me “full of shit” at any rate.
        http://historyofislam.com/contents/the-age-of-faith/the-conquest-of-spain/
        As to the Christians being as bad as the Muslims, I’d STILL use the present tense.
        Here is an example for you
        http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/12/report-details-atrocities-in-central-african-republic/?_r=0

        That enough Facts for you

  3. Worst one ever is the myth that Denis Law relegated Manchester United when he scored that backheel for Manchester City in 1974… United could have won 10-0, but they still would have gone down because Birmingham City beat Norwich…

    But it sounds better and more dramatic when cunts say that the King of Old Trafford stuck the knife into his beloved reds and condemned them to Division 2…

    It also appears that the ‘story’ of Richard III is basically Tudor/Shakespeare propaganda, and that ‘Dirty Dickie’ wasn’t anything like the villainous, big nosed, humpbacked coward that people know and boo at… The ‘My kingdom for a horse!’ bit is also bullshit. Apparently he fought his bollocks off and died like a man…

  4. Another stupid one is the Michael Caine impression: ‘Not a lot of people know that…’
    He’s never said it…

  5. Bryan Ferry is a cunt… Apart from the pretentious bollocks he commits to vinyl and CD, he’s always come across as a bit of a knob… His ‘beautiful Nazis’ remark showed his cuntery. When he had that silly moustache he looked like a debonair version of Blakey off On The Buses… And his ‘singing?’ Ferry sounds like the singing Char Waller from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum… I know Roxy Music are seen by cunts like Paul Morely as the ultimate in ‘cool’ but Ferry has always appeared to be an arthouse wanker…

      • Oh, and the other thing about Bryan Ferry is… the SNP are cunts.

        I hope the forthcoming cunting of Sturgeon will address the question of what the fuck she’s got on her head. Real hair or a syrup that even Elton John wouldn’t be seen dead in?

        Did I mention the SNP are cunts?

          • Nicola Sturgeon is (in common with the entire SNP) deserving of being cunted. This woman has no interest in a united UK, save to use political clout to exploit the promises made by Cameron to give a better deal to Scotland in the shameless bribe made to keep the union intact.
            Politically this woman is a veritable snake with tits, having publicly announced she will support Labour, whilst (purportedly) being reported as preferring Cameron to be the next PM.
            In some respects and thanks to the spinelessness of Cameron and his bribes to Scotland to stay in the union, she now has both political parties by the balls. A win by the Tories will ensure she hold them to the promises made, whilst a coalition with Labour would see profligate spending on an unprecedented scale. More immigration and the chance of a referendum on Europe gone for the foreseeable future.

  6. I was standing on a scaffolding when a young Asian girl went to walk under my ladder.

    “Stop there!” I shouted, “Don’t you know it’s bad luck to walk under a ladder?”

    “I don’t believe in that,” she said as she proceeded to walk under it, “I’m Muslim.”

    “That’s a shame,” I replied, as I dropped a concrete block on her head.

    • Don’t worry Chief, you martyred her (even though she never asked you to). Martyred………….. the Arabic word for “murdered” apparently. Muzrat cunts.

      • Hamas tend to refer to all of those Palestinian human shields they use as martyrs………… just saying. Somewhat devalued word these days.

      • Look up the origin of the word assassin Lenny.

        Those mudslimes. What a laugh riot they are.

        • It is odd that the origin of the word assassin is derived from the “hasheen”. Wonder if Islam likes to be reminded of the fact that its more extreme devotees were all 12th century dope fiends?

  7. Regardless of historical inaccuracy, the scots being effectively mercenaries at Culloden, and more than likely the only cunts dumb enough to get Shanghaied onto Victory, it does go to prove what I said in an earlier post in the that the Scots will take a purse of gold from anyone who is paying to take it in the arse.

    Did I mention the SNP are cunts?

    • You sir are incapable of admitting you are talking shite despite the facts. You have all the qualities of a cult member or a leftie.

      • Indeed you are Scottish, so talking shite about everything is part of your culture. Cunt.

        Talking shite on the internet is not going out and convincing the rest of your countrymen to tell the SNP to fuck off is it?

        Oh wait, you have taken that purse of gold again…

  8. Talking of historical inaccuracy, Philippa Gregory is a prize cunt…
    She claims to be a ‘historian’, but all she does is write pulp crap like Jackie Collins and Jilly Cooper. Only Gregory uses real historical figures, because the lazy bitch can’t think of any characters of her own… This old hag will also put in any historical fabrication or myth (no matter how cheap or nasty it is!): like Anne Boleyn shagging her brother was put into one of her novels… It is widely accepted now that there was no incest by Boleyn and that it was a slur started by Thomas Cromwell in order to discredit her and to have her put to death… But Gregory still uses it as it makes her ‘story’ more saucy and sensationalist, and so it will be bought by all those silly mares who read shite like Fifty Shades Of Grey…

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