Fifty Shades Of Grey

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Fifty Shades Of Grey (the film, the book, the crabby old minger who wrote it, and anything else connected with it) deserves a monumental cunting…

How this load of sick shite has become a phenomenon and ‘news’ shows how much of a backward shithole Britain has become. And the silly slags who are into it: how is a sadistic pervert and rapist sexy and heroic? And since when was it acceptable to abuse women in mainstream culture?

What makes me laugh is the silly bitches who read it and wet their bloomers over the film will doubtless complain endlessly about how their husbands, boyfriends and other men are ‘Bastards’ and ‘Pigs’. Yet they’ll do a Kit Kat Shuffle over some fictional sadist. Do they also get off on how female prisoners were treated in Nazi concentration camps too?

I tell you, lads: some women really are the dark side of the fucking moon…

Nominated by: Norman

…and let’s not forget the sequel

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13 thoughts on “Fifty Shades Of Grey

  1. Total cunt.

    I’ve met the woman and she is a total fucking minger……an ugly fat cunt.

    The husband on the other hand is a funny cunt and must be looking at his exit plan now he could grab a fair chunk of the ugly cunt’s money!!!

  2. This main male character is a 27 year old self-made billionaire who “got a rough start in life?” That’s fucking believable, isn’t it? This shit is just porn for women and you can remind any silly cunt of that fact the next time she mocks the pizza delivery plot of an average man’s favorite porno.

    • The book was shite too, so Mrs D tells me. “I struggled through it. It’s badly written crap. No way I am reading the sequel”. I bow to her superior wisdom (it’s safer that way!)

  3. Spot on,TIG… The thing is if this third rate porn was written by a bloke the bra burners, the Guardian and loads of other ‘wimmin’ would be screeching about how ghastly, perverted and misogynistic it all is… Yet some old munter writes this shit and women see it as acceptable and feel free to frig themselves silly over it without a hint of guilt or any accusations of sexism… Talk about stinking double standards…

    I would like to cunt the gardener/rubbish collector/bad salesman who keeps pestering my household… Even in the Winter months this cunt turrns up at my door mithering about a tree that needs a bit of a trim… Time and again I have told him that I will call him if he is ever required… Yet the twat still keeps turning up… Last week I discovered that he doorstepped my Mrs while I was at work… She also told him we weren’t interested… But lo and behold the fucker appears again today, so I finally told him to fuck off and if our tree was getting any pruning, he would not be doing it… Why can’t some cunts understand English and take no for a fucking answer?!

    • You do know that you can type a simple letter removing his right of access to your property don’t you?

      Present it to him next time he turns up with a threat of calling the police and having him arrested for trespass.

      • Even easier is to print out a removal of implied rights of access and stick it up on your front door, it will keep away any cunt who is soliciting for business, also keeps those peado cunts from the BBC licensing away too lol

        To all that it concerns WARNING NOTICE any one having business/visiting [INSERT YOUR ADDRESS]

        NOTICE TO AGENT IS NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL AND NOTICE TO PRINCIPAL IS NOTICE TO AGENT APPLIES

        NO TRESPASS

        Notice of Removal of Implied Right of Access

        you are advised to read the following notice thoroughly and carefully. It is a lawful notice. It informs you. It means what it says.

        I hereby give notice that the implied right of access to the property known as [INSERT YOUR ADDRESS], and surrounding areas, has been removed, along with all associated property including, but not limited to, any private conveyance in respect of the following:

        1) ANY employee, principal, agent, third party or representative or any other person acting on behalf of or under the instruction of HER MAJESTY’S COURT SERVICE, or any other CORPORATE BODY (i.e. Company) howsoever named and,

        2) ANY POLICE OFFICER who is acting for the CORPORATE POLICE and NOT acting as a Constable for and on behalf of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and her people as expressed in the Oath of Office of all POLICE men and women, that is as Public Servants, upon your Oath of Office to serve “with fairness, integrity, diligence and impartiality, upholding fundamental human rights and according equal respect to all people; and that I will, to the best of my power, cause the peace to be kept and preserved and prevent all offences against people and property”

        COMMON LAW JURISDICTION APPLIES EXCLUSIVELY

        Please also take notice that the land known as England is a Common Law jurisdiction and any transgression of this notice will be dealt with according to Common Law.

        Any and all access to the above mentioned properties shall be by strict invitation only and shall be subject to terms and conditions, available by written request.

        We do not have, and have never had, a contract. And any permission that you believe you may have from me is hereby withdrawn. If you believe that you have power of attorney to act on my behalf you are hereby fired, and any consent that you believe you may have, tacit or otherwise, is hereby withdrawn. If you feel so inclined as to enforce statutes as a consequence of this matter I will report your conduct to ALL relevant bodies and will pursue Proof of Claim in affidavit form, under your full commercial liability and under the penalty of perjury.

        You are deemed to have been served this notice with immediate effect.
        There will be a charge of £4,950.00 for any incursion what so ever.

        In sincerity and honour, without ill-will, frivolity, or vexation

        Without any admission of any liability whosoever, and with all Indefeasible Rights reserved.
        Errors & Omissions Excepted.

    • I remember one evening back in the 70s, my dad answered the door to a double glazing salesman who explained that the most vunerable places of heat loss to a property was through the windows, to which my dad replied “the most vunerable place of heat loss is through my front door talking to you so fuck off”

  4. Read a bit of the book, not impressed. For sheer disgusting depravity it does not even come close to the “Story of O” by Pauline Reage. That was the most perverted book I have ever read in my life.
    I had to stop at the chapter where the author was fitted with an anal distender…Gross!

    • this book just proves how fucking dumb and vain women are , man makes porno with a girl being double analed and slapped, sexist! misogny! rape culture! women writes a book of bdsm where the whole object of bdsm is to humiliate and degrade them as sex objects and to treat them like dogs all of a sudden its a feminist viewpoint unbelievable stupid cunts , this is why i don’t take women seriously they are too fucking stupid and phony hypocrites , “raping a feminist a day keeps the feminist nazi doctor away”

  5. Even worse, rumour has it that the sequel will concern the lurid activites of a coprophiliac. The working title is Fifty Shits of Brown.
    Dirty cunts.

  6. Fifty Shades Of Shite! Written for people with IQ’s of 50 and under. (The TOWIE/X-Factor/Big Brother/BGT/Strictly Come Dancing/Dancing On Ice generaton)
    I actually bought a copy, just so I could fucking burn it

  7. The fucking wife beating bastard who is the star of this book would in reality be on the sex offenders register and have the absolute shit kicked out him by big bubba in C Wing. The slag who wrote this is a fucking nonce as the female character although portrayed as a grown woman , has the maturity and life experience of a child. This book has got PAEDOPHILIA written all over it. The cow is a former BBC producer so that figures.

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