Phil Harding – a Jethro Tull/Real Ale cunt of an archaeologist who, to my mind, has the disturbing, sinister appearance of an habitual user of prostitutes and/or potential serial killer.

Now that Tony Robinson is too fucked to continue Time Team, Phil and his tiny shorts would be ideal to front a series orf programmes excavating classic murder sites like Saddleworth Moor. That fake laugh every time the cunt’s trowel hits a skull. TV magic. “Death Dig” could be repeated for years.

“Time Team at Ten Rillington Place” has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?

Nominated by: Fred West & Sir Limply Stoke