Mark Kermode


Film critic Mark Kermode is a pretentious, vain, loudmouthed, turd-gurgler of the highest order. Not only is he ubiquitous in print and on TV he actually does tours where he gets up on stage where an audience of mouth-breathing media studies undergrads get their undies all cummy.

Opinions are like assholes, certainly, but it takes a special sort of cunt to believe that his own opinions are so penetrating and vital that everyone else should adopt them in place of their own and that he be paid for it.

By courting the tarnished trappings of multi-media celebrity Kermode has deluded himself into thinking that he also is a real part of the film industry, just like the actors and directors and myriad other people who, you know, actually make films. He’s a mediocrity hanging off the cock of real film professionals who actually have the courage to stand up and make something and put it out there for people to see. Kermode is an intellectual coward who, like all critics, apes the linguistic exactitude of science whilst avoiding all of its rigour.

It’s easy to be regularly rude about Michael Bay because Michael Bay might very well make shit films but he’s a Hollywood big-shot and wouldn’t know Mark Kermode from a piss droplet on the floor of his mansion’s 11th bathroom.

Kermode’s wife is a Professor of film criticism at some uprated polytechnic meaning she’s another pretentious, dull-witted gobshite who wouldn’t know one end of an Arriflex from the other.

And to top it off he’s chosen to look like a fat, speccy Morrissey. That makes him twice a cunt.

Nominated by: John Milius’ Gun Cabinet

25 thoughts on “Mark Kermode

  1. Can’t agree with this – I find Kermode to be a genuine enthusiast rather than a professional opinion whore in the manner of Paul Morley, Stuart Maconie etc who more aptly fit the OP’s description of “a special sort of cunt who believes that his own opinions are so penetrating and vital that everyone else should adopt them in place of their own and that he be paid for it”.

    That said, Kermode has been rightly cunted for his unfortunate resemblance to Morrissey.

    • Jimmy Savile was an enthusiast, of little boys arseholes and under age girls, I guess that makes him relevant. You fucking prick Fred, killed anyone lately? I hear Riose loves sucking off cows and she must do, sucking off you

      • Oh dear, an inarticulate cunt who doesn’t understand the difference between enthusiasm for films and raping children.

  2. He does look like Morrissey and that does raise his stakes in the cunt league, but I have to agree with Fred, he possesses an eloquence and incisiveness in his reviews and does not bend over (metaphorically) to be buggered by popular opinion.

  3. An emergency cunting of Cristina Odone, another stupid journalist who is unable to distinguish between dislike of ideas and people.

    How the fuck did we get to the point where VETS caring about the welfare of ANIMALS (isn’t that kind of their fucking job?) is racist?

    That well-known hotbed of Nazis, xenophobes and Ukippers, the RSPCA, are opposed to non-stun halal. The only reason that this barbaric practice is allowed to continue in 21st century Britain is because the people who support it have a slightly darker skin than the majority of the population. Judging people by the colour of their skin? Hmmm, I believe there is a word for that, can’t remember what it is.

    Yet more proof that God Botherers don’t want equality for their religion but privileges for their particular imaginary friend.

    By the way, I thoroughly enjoyed my non-halal bacon and eggs for breakfast this morning. And I’m such an unreconstructed racist and Islamophobe (see my previous cunting of this fascist word) that I forced my son to eat some bacon too!

  4. ” They realised that an assault on a religious minority can have horrific consequences.”
    Thereby promulgating the idea that extremist fanatics are to be feared and appeased. That the beliefs of minorities transcends the opinion of the majority and that the laws of the nation do not apply to sects and cultures.
    The practice of Halal slaughter of course appears not to be confined to animals, as the votaries of extremist Islam have proven in Iraq.
    Perhaps a closer experience with Halal slaughter might provide her with a deeper insight into its barbarism

    • Although I consider myself a rightwinger of the classical liberalism stripe, I am not an absolutist – I am also a cultural relativist and believe that there is a time and a place for all cultural practices.

      Unfortunately for muzrats, the 21st century and the western hemisphere are neither the time nor the place for the uncivilised practices of these angry, entitled, own-shit-throwing, knuckle-dragging cunts.

      The UK is long overdue for a government even slightly right of centre to combat this destructive cultural marxism and moral cowardice with which we have been saturated for decades.

    • Well, I’ve already cunted Islam, and it’s thick as pig shit (there’s an irony) followers. I doubt it would get through if I did another one so soon. I will say this though. I am fucking sick and tired of the limp wristed, cock sucking, bend over and take it up the arse, moronic fucking left wing traitor shithouses calling me racist, simply because I don’t want that shitty, medieval religion in the country I helped to defend for 18 years.

      It’s too much to hope for, but I’d love it if our next Prime Minister were to turn to Muslims and say, “look, you’ve taken the piss for the past twenty or so years now. That ends today. You need to decide whether you wish to remain in this country. If you do, then you need to accept that OUR culture, OUR traditions, OUR laws and OUR Rules take precedence over yours, and you will live OUR way. If you can’t accept that, you need to fuck right off. Because this is not the country for you”.

      Like I said, that won’t happen. Because unless I somehow end up in No 10, our next Prime Minister will either be a soppy, privately educated, multi-millionaire, lefty fuckwit, masquerading as a Tory, or he’ll be a donkey toothed, Jewish, commie, gangly, completely ignorant of the working class, clumsy, multi-millionaire, privately educated, drinks wine instead of beer, far left fuckwit, masquerading as a human being.

      Either way, we’ll still end up with a left wing shithouse in Downing St.

      Oops nearly forgot.


      Bring it on bitches. You don’t fucking scare me.

      So now you know. If you want the country putting straight, vote QDM in May. You know it makes sense. And I have cookies.

      Ok, I lied about the cookies.

      • Eloquently put. All other faiths accept that if they don’t wish to live in a country that (still) has some aspects of democracy about it, they are free to emigrate to one where they can mingle with others of their ilk.
        Devotees of Islam sadly still labour under the delusion that as long as they can scream “racist” or “sectarian” or ” discrimination” (the favoured phrases of left wingers), they will succeed in forcing more concessions for their medieval faith.

        • The big problem is that their “holy” book tells them that they have the God given right to go to another person’s lands, and take them over as their own. Thanks to left wing collaborators, that’s exactly what’s happening.

          • I get the impression I am not the only one on here who subscribes to Pat Condell’s Youtube channel!

          • Yes Lenny, I subscribe to Pat’s channel. I don’t always agree with what he says, but he’s an interesting figure.

          • If the muslims aren’t kicked off western and european lands they will continue to preach violence and hate, behead random people , bomb buses, make threats , protest “Rioting”, enforce sharia (sharia patrols) and what really makes me sick is the BBC are sitting back saying we should stir this up a bit and have extremist muslims on to let us know how much they hate us and will kill us if we don’t submit, and the thick celebrities like roger waters are telling us to go soft on them and release them from our prisons what a thick CUNT it makes me hate Pink Floyd (I was always More a Syd Barret Fan to be honest) now there was a man who was humble about his craft and he wasn’t crazy don’t believe me? listen to his solo albums And i usually hate solo artists but Syd was the most unique musican i know of

  5. I am nominating Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe for a cunting.

    He is a hybrid lackey of the hidden and controlling psycho 1% that give orders to our libtard government party politician cunts. Hogan- Howe plays an essential role in preserving political correctness on the streets of Britain, ever stepping up surveillance to undermine freedoms and increasing the vigilance of members of the public by PC thought control to snitch on their neighbours in the name of security.

    Hogan- Howe’s patch is UK capital city London. His remit is to maintain London as a multicultural cesspool. Compliant survival of the fittest (all take, take take libtard idiot retarded liberal capitalist/socialism drone citizens). London libtard drones must labour for the elite 1% and their lackey gofers. All profits of their labour go to the 1%. All taxes on their labour go to the creature comfort costs of citizens who are unemployed and without labour.

    It all works with the help of “his men” (metropolitan police officers). If you wish to apply to become one of Hogan-Howe’s officers, any interest to learn common law or ambition to serve and protect the public is not needed. You will be told the Met is not a police force and you are unsuitable for service training. The Met prefers recruits that show an interest to learn statute law or have aptitude for public security. You will be told the Met is a police service and you are suitable for force training.

    Bernard Hogan-Howe – utter psycho police pig cunt.

  6. Kermode may be irritating at times, but he’s better than that smarmy cunt, Barry Norman (another one for the Dead Pool!) and that total tosspot, Jonafan Woss…

  7. I agree regarding Jonafun Woss, a total fuckwit of a cunt whose sole ‘talent;’ appears to be sycophantically ‘brown nosing’ anyone on his [i]alleged[/i] chat show.
    Fucking prick

  8. Mark Kermode is a cunt. Sometimes I’ll be watching a film and I will suddenly get a faint echo of the cunt’s voice in my head making sardonic remarks about it. When I tell him to fuck off he starts going on about “abstract minimalism” or “post-modern rockabilly” or some other pretentious cuntitude. Cunt.
    I would like to nominate something called “Tim Minchin” for a cunting on the grounds that he looks like a slightly sad, gay scarecrow. He also hides his colossal smugness behind a laid back kiwi drawl and thinks that because he expresses perfunctory, right-on arse cack about “sexism” and “homophobia” etc. etc. that it gives him some kind of karmic right to come over here and lay into ancient belief systems. Piss of you dishevelled, grade 4 piano playing CUNT.

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