Santa Claus is a right evil little cunt!
He breaks into your house, steals your food and drink, bribes your kids with tat and then sneaks into your bedroom and fucks your wife. And to top it all off, he fucked my roof last year parking his fucking sled on it. Bloody broken tiles everywhere.
And the fucking fat gutted cunt gets away with it year after year. Where’s the fucking cops when you need them, that’s what I want to know…
And while we’re at it Santa, where’s me fucking iPod? If I wanted a fucking sweater I’d have asked for it. What a cunt.
Nominated by: Dioclese
Apparently the King, not santa, has a ferret and dwarves up is arse….
http://flaxensaxon.blogspot.co.nz/2014/12/king-flaxens-annual-yuletide-address.html
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Might just be me, but that picture looks just like the illuminated Santa I Cunted in the last post. Told you he looked like Jimmy Saville.
On the subject of the Fat Bastard (Santa not Saville). This one has been doing the rounds at work.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8e/db/b1/8edbb14cdda5f36104cb1eb327463ce1.jpg
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That’s a good one, Lez…
James Corden is apparently getting an OBE in the New Years Honours list…
An OBE for what? For being an unfunny, obnoxious, ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ coke addled fat cunt?! What the fuck is next? Sir Russell Brand? Dame Jessie J? The mind fucking boggles….
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Can I add Cordon to my death pool nominations please……
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Only if you give us a name to log it against…
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I should have had Jo Cocker…. Strange bloke but I kinda liked him though. Tell Elvis (from the chippy) he still owes me a fiver.
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OBE, Obese, Braindead, Eejit. Whoever decided that walking fatberg deserved a New Year honour needs a swift kick in the bollocks. Corden is a talentless, crude, immature shite hawk. He’s about as funny as being soaked in elephant semen.
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Corden is a fat talentless tosser, but since when has it ever stopped tossers being inducted into the honours list?
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You know I hate xmas but I’d just like to say All the best Cunters. I think that’s probably the JD’s talking but who gives a fuck.
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What you need, Dioclese, is a good air defense system. The Bofors 40mm anti aircraft gun is an antiquated piece, but still useful. Or for a more technological solution, you could try the Angara or Patriot missile defence systems. Not even Santa would escape from those Death Dealers.
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A motion activated Phalanx, or even something more portable along the lines of Dillon M134 sporting a ‘Nato Mix’ would also be effective at dealing with errant sled operators.
The later is certainly excellent at deterring Somali Pirates…. permanently.
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Sounds like the perfect answer to these fucking Google drones.Can’t wait for those flying fuckers to start so I can take them out with me old brace orf purdies. Perfect festive pass time.
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