Christmas Trees

HELP-SANTA-KILL-A-BILLION-TREES

Christmas trees are cunts.

With their oohh look at me I’m all green and pretty and smell of pine (Dog piss after two days in my house). They should be left in the ground where they eventually die a horribly protracted death over a century or so. That’ll teach ‘em.

The decoration wearing, off-centre leaning, hoover blocking, end up in my front garden until March, top-of-the-tree fairy wearing bastards. Fuck ‘em!

Nominated by: Fleaboy

( And while we’re in the mood for a bit of festive cheer – like fuck we are! – cock an ear to the latest addition to the ‘Cunt Music’ page courtesy of Fred West. Nice one, Fred! )

7 thoughts on “Christmas Trees

  1. At least the cunts who pretend to enjoy Christmas shove these overgrown Bonsais in their living room.
    I’d like to nominate, with my usual festive goodwill, the legions of cunts who put a strain on the National grid by decorating every tree, every bush and every garden gnome in their gardens with flickering lights. The same cunts who vie with each other to decorate their hovels with huge inflatable illuminated Snowmen, Reindeer and even a 10ft Santa that looks like Jimmy Saville. ( I kid you not). Not sure if their goal is simple one-upmanship, or to provide alien invaders with a landing zone, or merely to piss off the neighbours. Whatever it is, they are cunts of the first magnitude

  2. Finding the handling orf this latest paedo snuff shock horror a bit damn rum. Allegations flying left right and centre. Plod interviewed on BBC saying they believed the little cunt behind them. Three kids murdered. Tentacles off corruption touching the highest in the land. Dolphin Square kiddy fucking love nest ect ect. What about corroborating evidence? BBC news, not plod mind you, doing Plod’s job and appealing for witnesses ect. BBC johny interviewing the dodgy cunt behind the allegations. Very rum. Follows on from the Sir Cliffo farago where old bill were working hand in glove with the BBC to monster the geezer.
    Make no comment about the truth or otherwise orf the matters in question but Sir Limply’s old beezer detects the distinct whiff orf bad fish and no it’s not up me under gardener’s daughter’s fanny. Have spent sufficient time embroiled in legal disputations to know that any dodgy brief could make mincemeat orf any prosecution case resulting from general appeals to the public. All very rum. In my day old bill were very discrete in building a case and revealed all during the trial. This seems more like a TV reality show. “I’m a paedo, get me out of here” …… hmmm not a bad idea, plenty off contestants available.

  3. I would like to cunt christmas in general, and all the lazy work shy fuckwits that are already peddling the excuse ‘its christmas’ for not actually doing what they are paid to do.

    Unless you have been to church the preceding 51 Sundays, only an uber cunt would claim they are christian and go along with the whole charade and celebrate accordingly. Its basically just another form of religious terrorism, being forced to give people time off to spend money they don’t have on people they couldn’t give a fuck about, and drink heavily. 3 weeks of productivity down the shitter for me. I loath religion and its fucked up traditions so very, very much.

    And don’t get me started on New Year celebrations.

    BACK TO WORK FUCKERS!!!!

    • I couldn’t agree more Captain. Call me Scrooge but I fucking hate Christmas. Kids in general seem to be getting greedier and greedier competing to see who can get the most expensive presents, the latest phones, games consoles etc. My wife spends and spends, like you say money we haven’t got, then its me that has to work all the hours god sends to pay off the debt. Christmas really is a cunt. Bah Humbug !

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