Debbie Wood 43, Steven Wood 31 (We note the age difference so mercifully little chance orf orfspring. In fact do we believe that Debs is 43?) have just married and naturally plastered the gruesome details all over Facebook. Jumped the broomstick at Halloween to look more normal.
From their Facebook photo the pair orf them look like they have just slipped their minders and escaped out orf some day time TV car crash reality show
Delectable Debbie was paranoid that her tosser boyfriend, now husband, Steve would realise what a fucking mug he was so she trawled his phone, email accounts and bank statements for signs of deviation from the straight and narrow several times a day. This was in addition to forcing the deluded dosser to take a lie detector test to prove he had been faithful each time he entered the house. Now in certain houses orf correction that might be considered a prelude to a blissful night orf bondage and discipline but the poor cunt did not even get that. She married him oh doleful fate. (note must give Steve an introduction to an acquaintance orf mine, Miss Anna Conda, formally orf East Germany)
Mrs Wood, who also suffers from bipolar (naturally) and body dysmorphic disorders (she eats too much), said that her jealousy got worse when the pair moved in together as she tried to monitor Mr Wood’s every move. She installed child-proof filters on his laptop and mobile phone to stop him looking at explicit pictures of women and banned him from watching any television programme featuring women.
“Now, I won’t even let him watch The Weakest Link in case he fancies Anne Robinson but I’m scared he’ll have a sneaky look when I’m in another room”. (And that is sick)
“That’s why I decided to order the lie detector online. It was my only way of knowing for sure if Steve’s eyes were wandering. In general, he’s quite truthful but I have caught him lying a few times about looking at other women.”
Only fair to give the last word to the credulous little cunt himself. From his Facebook page:
“So… The next time I post something on here i will be doing so as a married man…. Who’d have thought eh?? Thanks to EVERYONE who has been with me on this journey of life up to now (too many to mention) and thank you to the amazing woman who in just a couple of hours from now will be my wife… Love you babe and thank you.”
Will two cunts ever deserve each other more? (Sorry Steve, another lesson in life. Sir Limply always gets the last word).
Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke